Tantric sex, Australians, pregnancy scares, witches, bed wetting and the dogs of Facebook. Why alcoholics need to be at one with the universe. Free your minds.

Self-pity, malted milk biscuits and cigarettes. Dreams of sex, drugs and alcohol – and how we have used Alcoholics Anonymous to clean our souls. Stay safe and sober with Simon (and his violent daughter)

Disco biscuits, the world’s best weed and making amends with fig rolls. Why we remember the last drunk, not the last drink. Theresa May, window cleaners, Chinese takeaways and the tooth fairy. Alcoholism for idiots.

This is business time! A new theme tune, a good grope of Step 8, beginning the process of making amends, Little Miss Promotion Prospect, dull PowerPoints and so much more. This is the podcast that seriously means business.

The episode of looking forward. Dumping all of your s**t , difficult festive periods, Sylvanian Families and a serious look at Step 7. Getting things back on track.

The episode where we are strong. Metrosexuals, double dates, YouTube ads, Jesus and the need for big fat thick cement. Follow the Alcoholic Ominous through the Triumphant Arch… or drink for oblivion.

Being humble, having humility and avoiding humiliation. This is the episode that realises that it is not that important. Tyson Fury, pink stuff and staying late at parties. The kids will love this.

The episode with some seriously good advice for serial slippers. Being honest about your triggers, using your support system, taking the road less travelled, filling some really massive shoes and doing a good turn. This is a good one. Fact!

The awkward sex episode. Sex with Turkish barbers, inappropriate women, Tyson Fury and sex apps. Page 69 of the big book never looked so desirable. Enjoy your God-given sex powers whilst listening to episode 21 of Mexico’s favourite sober podcast.

A beautiful alcoholic woman called ‘C’, the common cold, sitting on big leather furniture and writing lists. This is the podcast that needs guidance from others who know stuff. Simon has the snuffles and bravely tackles this very important podcast.