Israel vetoed America’s unconditional surrender to Iran by doing what they always do…blowing up their neighbors, the most “Idiocracy” event ever plays out on White House lawn as Trump family tries to bet on rigged fights, we’ve got about 12 days until the US strategic oil reserve runs dry, nobody seems to care about mankind’s biggest question, and I guess 250 years was a pretty good run.  

SpaceX IPO reveals the world isn’t controlled by billionaires…it’s controlled by trillionaires, Trump lets tech bro “volunteers” data mine all government websites, Alex is very upset by right-wing FishHeads for some reason, ACAL (lazy), Massie remembers the Liberty, apparently the President’s Cabinet spends a lot of time talking about nipples, and we’ve got an Iran peace deal for the 37th time.

We’re hoping the pending economic collapse saves humanity from the tech billionaires plotting human extinction, Anthropic (Claude AI) begs the world to stop them from destroying society, Nightmare-Eclipse may kill Microsoft, Trump is bored with Iran but Israel won’t let him take his toys and go home, Google wants to sting you with infected mosquitoes, and be sure to buy a copy of the “Midnight Hustle” pamphlet.

The game of “Deal Or No Deal” with Iran continues as Trump contemplates sending airplanes full of cash to Tehran, Claude is sad and angry, tech billionaires are getting scared of something, but is it AI or unemployed Gen Z, Americans with ebola get free trip to Kenya, Don Jr. marries Epstein’s banker’s daughter to no one’s surprise, that’s not what we meant when we said “eat the rich,” and how much did that tight va-jay-jay cost?

Alex transports special forces, Adrian uses AI to fight AI, SpaceX IPO is for suckers and the bond market is telling you so, Trump threatens to bomb space, latest UAP dump is slightly intriguing but mostly disappointing, ‘lil Marco is about to get Cuba back, AIPAC defeats Massie to keep their blackmail war machine going, and yeah…not my proudest nut, but totally worth it.

Adrian has a blast at a funeral, Alex hates Uber basic b’s, Trump will have the biggest balls…dummy, AI says you can’t have power or water anymore, and recent college grads are sick of it, UAP disclosure is kinda weak sauce, cybersecurity is over, never touch Ka$h’s bourbon, and never let RFK near your open-heart surgery.

Adrian doomspirals down the AI rabbit hole and hopes for nuclear war, we try – and fail – to convince ourselves the White House Correspondent Dinner attack wasn’t staged, we contemplate whether new music actually sucks, or whether we’re actually old, and “Oh, you think he was referring to you?” might be the best follow-up question of all time.

We start with a new take on the prisoner’s dilemma, Pokemon Go was actually a mass data collection conspiracy, boots on the ground in Iran is the most likely outcome, we prefer Kaczynski’s manifesto over Palantir’s, Orange Jesus wants to blow up wise guy ships for the next 18 years…unless they let him use nukes, and it’s the pro-pedos vs. REALLY pro-pedos in Congress.

Adrian forgets to push a button, Alex still trying to crawl out of his dark hole, you can trust us when we urge you not to trust us, Anthropic just became the most powerful entity on Earth, passed-out Kash out soon, my blockade is bigger than your blockade and I just made $1B by saying so, and we are considering becoming avid animal genitalia researchers in our spare time.

Iran accepts America’s unconditional surrender in The Great Lego War, Pentagon threatens to bomb the Pope, Antichrist-hunter Thiel was pedo-spymaster Epstein’s partner, Anthropic Mythos AI effectively ends all commerce, methinks the woman scorned doth protest too much, Alex thinks he’s a big tipper, and remember, when you’re wiping yourself with newspaper…you should’ve just paid them enough to live.