Uber’s invasion of your privacy becomes our next business model, it’s never a good sign when the CIA shows up unannounced at the Kremlin, Trump’s trade war with Canada could disrupt a third of the US oil supply, this is not what “Pro-Military” looks like..unless you’re an 8-year-old, Iran shrugs off “D-Day,” and you need to hit the high note if you want the flags lowered when you die.

Alex bores everyone with his wonky take on the primary results as Adrian arrogantly abrades us with his annoying ambivalence, we all wish we had someone who looked at us the way Natalie looks at Don’s diaper, Americans might finally be embracing jury nullification, Rubio says the quiet part out loud…again, and the economy is collapsing, but at least we’ve got a nice driveway.

It really seems like Trump & Hegseth hate the troops, but at least Operation Orange Chicken was a complete success, US closes strait and sinks tankers to stop Iran from closing strait and sinking tankers, be careful what you ask your AI assistant to do for you, the Patriot (Hunger) Games give elites the chance to watch children in frolic in skimpy clothes, and if the GLOVE fits, ICE will zap it.

Alex and Adrian take a major detour and spend the full first hour talking about whether we are the first advanced civilization on Earth, and the evidence – of varying credibility – that we aren’t and whether or not aliens are involved, then we return to more normal discussions of news, politics, economics, in the second hour.

Alex’s obsession with public toilets is becoming pathological, now that 18 countries are involved in this war we should probably just call it what it is, don’t drink the water…anywhere, Fauci pleads the Fifth and proves at least one conspiracy theory we’ve told you about for years, Trump administration fighting Communism by owning the means of production, and if you’re 18-45 it would be a good idea to grow some bone spurs.

Jesus finds Alex at Circle K, and prophet (possibly false) Adrian tries to baptize him, ain’t nothing good happening from the river to the sea right now, billionaire wants to harvest his clone-baby’s organs, Americans are getting the Flock out, one man’s freedom terrorist is…uh, antisemitic or something, and remember those tariffs that screwed up the economy? Yeah, we’re doing that again.

Alex is bummed out because he can’t spend special time with sailors, Adrian demands to be called a prophet, only trolls are in the strait, we wonder how many Senators are only mostly dead, Alligator Alcatraz goes Fyre Festival and $1B goes bye-bye, Looksmaxing Petey wants a high-T military, and you can now insider trade on Trump’s Truths for only $100K/mo.

Alex drives an OF model hard, ‘Merica ain’t ‘Mericaning like it used to, we spoke to Mitch McConnell and he told us “gurrrrrglugggpffft,” the Sheep are De-Flocking the Wolves, we’re at war with Iran…again, datacenters are trying to kill you…and maybe Greenland, Trump suggests a threesome with his sons after talking to Teddy Roosevelt, and will Israel just false flag us already?

Alex comes out of the closet on air, doomer Adrian says sell everything now, Iran ceasefire was fun while it lasted, Americans increasingly want out of our toxic relationship with Israel, Ukraine darkens the skies over Moscow, SCOTUS does asylum seekers a big favor by not letting them in, Trump asks the media what the Executive Order he just signed means, and the AI IPOs ain’t looking too good.

Israel vetoed America’s unconditional surrender to Iran by doing what they always do…blowing up their neighbors, the most “Idiocracy” event ever plays out on White House lawn as Trump family tries to bet on rigged fights, we’ve got about 12 days until the US strategic oil reserve runs dry, nobody seems to care about mankind’s biggest question, and I guess 250 years was a pretty good run.