“I’m Not Easy But At Least I’m Interesting”, recorded almost a year ago to the day on August 22, 2024, three days after her 92nd birthday (!). As always, we start with some difficulties in hearing each other but they resolve quickly (thankfully). This conversation runs the gamut from the relatively light - being too busy,  good blood work results, sleep issues, irritating people, her 92nd birthday party ("best party ever"), exhaustion, Frank Sinatra, the mafia, and her deep love of elephants, to the heavier - marital fighting and its effect on others, fears of dying, living forever, being real, the importance of inclusion, the 2024 election, voting, and fear of -and hopes for- the future. As is made clear in this conversation, in which Elana jumps from one topic to another, she isn’t necessarily easy, but at least she’s interesting! 

In a new twist, our tech issues come at the end and Allan needs to step in to help Elana sign off from the podcast. Larry’s song, “Light of Heart”, is the perfect accompaniment here. 

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Recorded on Nov 30, 2023; We start out discussing people that are driving Elana crazy - who she dubs “The Needers” - and how people constantly seek her help and counsel, making her one of “The Needees”. We agree that while it’s important to help people, something she excels at and is admittedly drawn to, she must also prioritize taking care of herself as she doesn’t always get that kind of care given back to her. She also questions why certain kinds of people, especially those that she feels are “brilliant”, are drawn to her not to seek her help but her companionship and conversation. ‘Why her?’ she asks, to what I respond ‘why not you?’ The conversation then runs the gamut from questioning her grieving for Earl, being depressed (or not), her acknowledgement of Allan’s impact on her life as well as his idiosyncrasies, her love of short stories and of learning, and her experience with “blackballing” when she was newly married and trying to acclimate to a new life. We end on Elana asking how she can be more politically active, and how she can rally those at Aviva to do something because they feel helpless, and of course she wants to help - further exemplifying the respective roles as “The Needers and The Needees”. 

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Episode 11 “I Can’t Do it All”, recorded on Oct 19, 2023. Due to unforeseen and unexpected events -good and not so good - getting in the way, our recording sessions and the ability to publish episodes have been delayed. These included Elana having a stint in the hospital (but all ok now), us traveling to Florida to be with her, a college graduation, more travel (work and personal), and various other life events that took more time, energy and attention than usual. But we are now back on track with Episode 11! 

Recorded back in October 2023, our conversation starts off with Elana’s take on Jewish humor and moves into her innate desire to want to help others, to be their “guru”, even when it may not be feasible. We discuss how age and other factors can impact always being there for others, for better or worse, and we discuss how it’s important for her to make sure she’s also taking care of herself. She also shares how much her kids and grandkids mean to her- how they’re her best friends and how proud she is of them- and how she cherishes that. 

Elana discusses writers she admires and is inspired by, how she wishes she could emulate them, and how she continues to keep writing poems in an effort to write what’s real and inspiring. One particularly meaningful poem she wrote at the time, one in which capturing his essence was so important to her, was about our beloved Milo Kessler, which she shares here. 

She admits that she often has the realization that she’s 91 years old and although she may feel it at times, she really just wants to live her life and be there for her friends, her kids and grandkids. That’s the most important thing to her, but she also realizes that she has to take care of herself and that she “can’t do it all”. 

Stay for Larry's song, “Gentlefolk”, at the end. 

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Episode 10 “My Interest in Life is Other People”, recorded on July 26, 2023. After Allan gets Elana situated with her volume levels - but can’t quite eliminate the echo she seems to have going on - she notes how she’s been thinking about how some people in her life had apologized to her, why that is, and we discuss how rare apologies generally are so we have to appreciate them. Elana reflects on the fact that she's the only one left out of most of her friends and family and how it’s important for her to appreciate the time she has without letting things upset her, to focus on the positive things in her life, to think about the people who love and surround her, and to try to let things go. Elana questions why people like to be with her and seek her comfort and care, how there are “three types of people” in this world, and how Allan falls in a category all his own! We agree that one thing she is not is practical, which is a good thing.  This whole conversation is an example of how Elana’s “Interest in Life is Other People.” Larry’s wonderful song at the end, “While My Friends”, is a fitting way to send this one out. 

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Episode 9, Recorded on July 12, 2023; In this conversation, Elana shares a childhood trauma that sent her to a psychoanalyst as a young girl. We discuss how early experiences impact emotional well-being and how shared experiences can inspire empathy toward others. We commiserate on how we both enjoy talking to and being around people and discuss how listening to others helps with real human connection. Elana shares a few stories of spontaneous interactions she had that made her think about how we perceive others in the world and how we often make assumptions that aren’t always correct (of course she wrote a poem about it that she promised to recite in a future episode). Elana describes her continual encouragement- i.e. insistence- that people tell their stories and refuses to accept it when they say they don’t have a story, because everyone has a story. One question she asks that apparently always gets people to open up is, ‘If you were king of the world what would you do?’ 

Larry’s song at the end, “Circles Big and Small”, seemed like the perfect fit for this episode. 

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Episode 8 “Why Should We Not Protect Ourselves First?” Recorded on April 27, 2023;  In this conversation, we cover everything from navigating tricky social situations and turning around uncomfortable conversations, which Elana has become a master of, to managing close personal relationships, which we confess we’re both still figuring out. Elana shares more of her raw and introspective writings, the product of sleepless nights and overwhelming thoughts, and we talk about the power of creativity in expression of pent up feelings. Elana conveys her deep desire to leave behind a better world for future generations and we agree that the most important role we have in this world is to try to raise good humans. And in order to have the strength and ability to do that, Elana asks, “Why should we not protect ourselves first?” Stay for Larry’s wonderful song at the end, “Crunchy Goodness”. I don't know if it's crunchy, but it sure is good! 

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Episode 7 “Everybody Has A Story”, recorded on April 22, 2023; Once Elana gets Jonas to agree to look into flights on Allegiant Air (or as I like to call it Belkin Air, for you Odd Couple fans out there) we jump right into her reciting some recent poems about Earl and her fears around sleeping, which emanate from childhood. We discuss shared fears for the future based on the political landscape (2023!) and Elana conveys her anxiety about the world that will be left for her grandkids. She stresses the need to vote (yes!) and shares what she’s doing to help in the then 2024 election. She conveys her strong feelings of gratitude, of being surrounded by love, of community, and of shared stories. When she questions, ‘Is this all about me?’ (uh, yes) she explains how helping people and hearing others’ stories is so important to her. She proves time and again through her deep connections with - and ability to listen to- others, that “Everybody has a story.”

Music notes- the song that is now part of the intro is Larry’s awesome piece, “Chillaxing”. 

This episode’s closing song (Untitled) features Jonny on bass accompanying his Uncle Larry on piano! Recorded in Larry’s home studio, March 2025.  

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Episode 6 “90 Isn’t So Old”, recorded on March 29, 2023. In this conversation, we’re a bit all over the place with topics but one is again about music, which is a major part of Elana’s life. After Elana recites some of the poems she wrote as a young girl of 12 near the end of WW2 - and still remembers!- we talk about how it continues 80 years later with lyrics she’s currently writing about Earl and a song she started lyrics for called “Shangri La”, which Allan is composing music for. Elana reflects on her early memories of music with her five aunts, who she adored, and how they helped shape her love of dancing, which manifested at one point in her life with she and Earl entertaining on the NY square dancing circuit. We also talk about the importance of supporting local artisans - and how that fits so perfectly with Elana’s love of shopping- and our familial love of game playing, always heightened by our serious competitiveness with each other.  Elana explains the profound support she finds within her family, how she feels surrounded by love, and we agree that the relationships that each of my sons, Martin, Charlie and Jonny, have with her are precious and priceless. We also discuss the art of conversation, which Elana has absolutely mastered in her 90 years, and the value of listening to others, which I learned from her and try to do her justice by, with varying degrees of success. Stay tuned at the end for this episode’s original tune by Larry, the wonderful “When Will I See You”. 

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Episode 5 “Without Music I Don’t Know What the World Would Be” Recorded on March 19,2023. In this conversation, after some issues that required Allan’s savvy technical skills, we talk about the importance of music and the joy it brings to us. Elana shares how she’s just starting to write lyrics for music, at the encouragement of her musician son, Larry. She also describes how she finds happiness in dancing with her friends and neighbors during Allan’s piano performances at Aviva (which bring out big crowds). She also mentions how she would have “thrown Allan under the bus” if not for his piano playing prowess. The conversation also delves into our thoughts on Judaism, our belief in god (or lack thereof) and Earl’s deep, incredible, scholarly knowledge of Judaism. Elana expresses some regret for not being as engaged as she could have been at the time with Earl and how she’s now exploring things a little more deeply perhaps in a way to honor Earl’s memory. 

Stay tuned at the end for a song by Larry, my brother in law and Elana’s oldest son, a professional musician whose incredible music has been a gift to me, and to all of us. Each episode from now on will end with a song by Larry. This one is “The San Diego Shuffle” - enjoy! 

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Elana, with her busy and active schedule, is MIA at first but after a lot of waiting and wondering she finally calls back, then promptly kicks Allan out of the room. Once we yet again establish that “this thing is on” we reflect on her life, relationships, and the regrets she holds on to, including the “bad things” she did in her life and the apologies she feels others, particularly her sons, are due. She discusses the importance of making amends, and the lessons she learned from her past, and how those experiences not only helped in her relationships with others but have also helped shape her understanding of herself. We discuss the value of intuition, yet another trait we share, and how understanding relationships is discussed. Elana, as always, encourages pursuing opportunities and taking action because “if you don’t do anything then nothing happens in this life.” 

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