All The F Words

Apparently, freedom, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. While liberals fought for the right to vote and for women to be able to control their bodies, conservatives, for hundreds of years, have also fought in the name of liberty. On this episode of All the F Words, Joanne and Gabi discuss freedom, including the Freedom Convoy in Canada and the fight against teaching critical race theory in the name of freedom.

The Exploitation of ‘Freedom’ in America – NYT Opinion piece
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/04/opinion/ugly-freedom-discrimination-racism-sexism.html?campaign_id=39&emc=edit_ty_20220207&instance_id=52394&nl=opinion-today®i_id=14985889&segment_id=81892&te=1&user_id=6ba7c382655abbf2d58168efa1f8026f

Ugly Freedoms by Elizabeth Anker
https://www.dukeupress.edu/ugly-freedoms

What Does Freedom Really Mean?
https://www.libertyproject.com/what-is-freedom-really-mean-2534259476.html

Who’s Freedom is the Freedom Convoy Fighting for? Not everyone’s
https://theconversation.com/whose-freedom-is-the-freedom-convoy-fighting-for-not-everyones-176336

‘Freedom’ Means Something Different to Liberals and Conservatives. Here’s How the Definition Split—And Why That Still Matters
https://time.com/5882978/freedom-definition-history/

Freedom: An Unruly History by Annelien de Dijn
https://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674988330

SNL “Black Jeopardy with Tom Hanks” (mentioned in the episode)
https://youtu.be/O7VaXlMvAvk

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Our faces communicate so much – contentment, glee, sadness, fear, and excitement. Yet so many of us agonize over the way our faces look. We might wish for a smaller nose, different colored eyes, fuller lips, or a better complexion. There are many industries devoted to preying on the insecurities we have about our face – some that offer invasive treatment, some that are scams. An ever-increasing number of us are taking greater steps to make changes, largely to preserve youth. In this episode of All the F Words, Gabi and Joanne talk about FACES. We’ll tackle the latest treatments that are available and about the history and current prevalence of facelifts.

A Point of View: Does Cosmetic Surgery Really Make People Feel Better About Their Bodies? https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35380469

Why Your Face Ages and What You Can Do
https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/why-your-face-ages-and-what-you-can-do

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Today we’re talking about showing skin (a little or a lot), and what happens when we try to police who—and how much—is okay. We also dive into the issue of school dress codes, and whether they help or hurt the kids they’re inflicted upon.

Links:
Modesty & Faith (NPR): https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126672354
Photos of Yearbook Girls Were Altered to Hide Their Chests (NY Times): https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/23/us/yearbook-photos-st-johns-girls-altering.html
What's Fair and Unfair About Student Dress Codes? (ADL): https://www.adl.org/education/resources/tools-and-strategies/table-talk/whats-fair-and-unfair-about-student-dress-codes
The Sexism of School Dress Codes (Atlantic): https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2015/10/school-dress-codes-are-problematic/410962/

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Some people have a diagnosed problem with attention. The rest of us just can’t seem to focus. And it makes perfect sense with the amount of distraction bombarding us from all our connected devices. This week on All the F Words podcast, Gabi and Joanne will zero in on how to improve your focus and how to help people, especially kids, who are suffering from distraction.

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Fatphobia, also known as anti-fat bias or fat stigma, is a big problem, and it goes far beyond perception of our own bodies. In this episode, we dig into recognizing and acknowledging our own fatphobia, the impact it has on people in larger bodies, and how to identify it so you can help fight it—both within yourself, and when you encounter it in the world.

Links:

Aubrey Gordon (@yrfatfriend on Twitter: https://twitter.com/yrfatfriend, https://www.aubreygordon.net/)

Maintenance Phase podcast: https://www.maintenancephase.com/

Aubrey Gordon on use of the word Fatphobia in Self Magazine: https://www.self.com/story/fat-activist-fatphobia

Fat is Not the Problem – Fat Stigma is in Scientific American: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/fat-is-not-the-problem-fat-stigma-is/

Why the BMI is Bogus on npr.com: https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439

In Obesity Research, Fatphobia is Always the X-Factor in Scientific American: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/in-obesity-research-fatphobia-is-always-the-x-factor/

Prism Reports on How Fatphobia Impacts Women of Color: https://prismreports.org/2020/06/15/how-fatphobia-impacts-women-of-color/

Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings https://nyupress.org/9781479886753/fearing-the-black-body/

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Food is so damn loaded as a topic. We don’t just eat to sustain ourselves, we eat when we gather, when we celebrate, and we do it multiple times a day. We’re bombarded with suggestions about what we should eat from our mothers and every person with a platform (yes everyone.) So if you have issues with food, life is filled with landmines. Gabi and Joanne share a bit from their own experiences and outline what you need to know about the most common, and dangerous, eating disorders – how to spot a problem in yourself or someone else, and what to say - and what not to say - to be of help.

Links:


Understanding Eating Disorders
www.jedfoundation.org/resource/understanding-eating-disorders/

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders
www.anad.org

Dr. Becky (Good Inside with Dr. Becky) on body confidence: https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/body-confidence-isnt-about-appearance/id1561689671?i=1000532950272

Feeding Littles instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feedinglittles/?hl=en

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Are you a flirt? Is that even a good thing? On today’s show, we learn about the basics of flirting, which, according to a Flirtologist we researched (a real title, according to the author!), can be distilled into a science. We talk about how to flirt with a face mask on, and we dive into when flirting goes from fun to inappropriate—and how to avoid crossing that line.

-The Science of Flirting (Ted Talk, Jean Smith): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cQoGNEcc5Q
-Post-Pandemic Flirting: https://mashable.com/article/how-do-i-flirt-in-person-again-post-pandemic
-Is #MeToo the End of Flirting: https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/is-this-the-end-of-flirting-as-we-know-it-wcz/

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In both your personal and professional relationships, there’s a time and a way to give feedback. Actually, there are more ways not to give feedback to preserve communication and get the best results. If feedback is supposed to lead to changed behavior, it helps to know how best to give it and receive it. Like, not when you’re hungry or angry, tired or in a rush. Okay, like at rare moments. It’s a skill worth learning, and Gabi and Joanne are here to share some tips and stories.

SIFT is an acronym sited in the NPR link below that stands for:
Source: does the person’s opinion matter?
Impact: is this a big deal or just a minor correction?
Frequency: how often do I hear this particular feedback?
Trend: is this showing up in multiple parts of my life?

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Links:

Receiving Feedback Doesn't Have to Be Scary. Here's How You Can Get Most Out of It
https://www.npr.org/2021/08/24/1030659507/receiving-feedback-doesnt-have-to-be-scary-heres-how-you-can-get-most-out-of-it;
Giving Feedback to Partners https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/feedback-to-partners.html;
Relationship Communication: How to Give Negative Feedback to Your Partner https://socalmentalwellness.com/couples-counseling/relationship-communication-give-negative-feedback/;
Giving Feedback. Boosting Your People’s Confidence and Ability
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMM_98.htm;

Is being born first a blessing or a curse? In this episode, we explore what it’s like to be and raise an eldest child. We learn about Austrian psychiatrist Alfred Adler’s 1964 Birth Order Theory and the many studies it inspired, psychologist and author of The Birth Order Book Kevin Lehman’s advice for raising firstborns, and Gabor Maté’s take on siblings’ respective experiences of their parents.

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Links:

Alfred Adler’s Birth Order Theory: https://healthfully.com/adlers-birth-order-theory-4025224.html

Why First Born Children are Better Leaders (The Atlantic, Derek Thompson, 2017): https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/05/first-born-children-better-leaders/526269/

Kevin Lehman: https://birthorderguy.com/

No 2 Children have the Same Parents, Gabor Maté: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbXqSEkwOPo

Good Inside with Dr. Becky https://goodinside.com/podcast/

Exhaustion is no joke. But there’s a difference between being tired and true fatigue. Tired is what you feel after intense activity or a lack of sleep. Sleep doesn’t help true fatigue, which can result from a range of causes. Gabi and Joanne share their own experiences and talk about the fatigue that follows surgery or illness, fatigue that often accompanies grief and the now ubiquitous Covid fatigue, for which there are plenty of antidotes.

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Links:
How Grief Can Make You Sick by Dr. Sanjay Gupta
https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/how-grief-can-make-you-sick/

What is Covid-19 Fatigue
https://www.webmd.com/lung/covid-fatigue#1

Causes of Fatigue and How to Manage It by Krista O’Connell, medically reviewed by Elaine K. Luo, M.D.
https://www.healthline.com/health/fatigue