Always Becoming: Real Stories of Resilience, Healing, & Growth

In today's episode of To Be Honest, I'm joined by my friend Naya for a conversation about reinventing yourself, trusting your intuition, and having the courage to walk away from anything that no longer aligns. Whether that's a career path, a relationship, or an old version of yourself.

We talk about her journey from studying finance to teaching herself how to code during covid, becoming a software engineer, building an online platform helping women break into tech, and the personal growth that happened alongside all of it.

We talk about:

• Taking unconventional paths and starting over
• Teaching yourself new skills and breaking into tech in 2026
• Why it's not "too late" to pivot careers or start creating content online
• The importance of representation when pursuing a dream
• Building a community and personal brand online
• Imposter syndrome, confidence, and reinventing yourself
• Developing higher standards for yourself in dating
• Not being afraid to leave relationships that aren't fulfilling you
• The difference between something looking good on paper vs actually feeling aligned
• Learning to trust yourself and ask the universe for more
• Outgrowing old versions of yourself and choosing what truly feels right

This is a fun, inspiring, real episode for anyone who feels scared to start over!

Connect with Naya: IG @theblackfemaleengineer

TikTok @theblackfemaleengineer

YouTube The Black Female Engineer

✨Lets connect on instagram: @mikalen.co

I used to genuinely think that if you didn't meet your friends in high school or college… you kind of just missed your opportunity.

Making friends as an adult felt awkward, forced, and kinda intimidating. I never knew what to say, and it always felt like everyone already had their people.

But over the past few years, that's actually changed a lot for me. I've met more people and built more of a community than I ever have before, which feels wild to say as someone in their late 20's!

So in this episode, I'm talking through what shifted, how I actually started meeting people, and what helped me get out of my comfort zone to start making friends as an adult.

I get into things like:

• why it feels so hard to make friends as an adult
• how my mindset around it changed
• how I actually met people
• building confidence socially when it doesn't come naturally
• why not every connection has to turn into a close friendship

If you've ever felt like you don't really know how to meet people or where to start, you're definitely not the only one but the good news is that it doesn't have to be as hard as you think!

✨lets connect on instagram: @mikalen.co

See if Volo is in your city and get $10 off your first league when you use the code BOAB21

Ever feel stuck even when you want to change?

Like you have ideas, goals, things you care about but you keep overthinking, waiting, or telling yourself you'll start when you feel more ready?

In this episode we talk about what that "stuck" feeling actually looks like and what it takes to start building momentum from that place, not after it.

We get into:

• why starting can feel so hard
• how we procrastinate under the disguise of planning
• how overthinking quietly keeps you stuck
• the pressure to feel confident before taking action
• what momentum actually looks like in real life
• how small, imperfect actions can shift your energy
• why you don't need clarity or motivation to begin
• what it means to move with doubt instead of waiting for it to go away

This isn't about having it all figured out. It's about learning how to move anyway.

If you've been feeling stuck lately, this is your reminder that momentum doesn't come from a big breakthrough, it comes from taking one small step.

lets connect on instagram: @mikalen.co

You know that feeling of working toward something for so long, finally getting there, and then realizing it's not as simple as you thought it would be?

In this week's "to be honest" episode, I'm sitting down with one of my best friends, Kelsey, to talk about what it actually looks like to follow your dreams and what no one really prepares you for once you get there.

If you've ever felt pressure to have it all figured out, tied your identity to one path, or wondered if the life you're building is actually sustainable… I think you'll really relate to this one!

We talk about:

• Knowing what you want from a young age and the pressure that comes with that
• How your identity can get wrapped up in your goals
• What law school (and real life after) actually feels like
• Stress, comparison, and imposter syndrome
• The sacrifices that come with ambition (health, relationships, time)
• Feeling guilty for resting and struggling to separate worth from productivity
• What it means to keep showing up for your dream while also taking care of yourself

This episode is about being honest about what your dreams ask of you and figuring out how to build a life that feels good while you're chasing them.

✨Lets connect on Instagram: @mikalen.co

I just got back from my first solo trip… and it didn't change my life.

At least not in the dramatic, "everything is different now" kind of way I think I was expecting.

It wasn't perfect. There were moments I felt lonely and overwhelmed. But there were also moments where I felt really proud of myself, really present, and more like me than I have in a while.

So if you've ever thought about doing something on your own — traveling, trying something new, just getting out of your routine — but you're scared it won't be worth it or won't live up to what you expect… this episode is for you

In this episode, we talk about:

• What solo traveling actually feels like
• The moments of loneliness, overwhelm, and figuring things out on your own
• Why it didn't feel like a life-changing experience, and why that's okay
• Getting out of your own head and realizing how big the world really is
• Letting go of the idea that there's one "right" way to live
• Relearning how to connect with people
• Proving to yourself that you can do hard things
• And how showing up for yourself can matter more than any big transformation

This isn't a story about becoming a completely new person.

It's about remembering who you are.

If you've been feeling stuck, disconnected, or like you're waiting for something to change — maybe it's not about doing something life-changing.

Maybe it's just about doing something for yourself

✨Lets connect on instagram: @mikalen.co

Have you ever wondered if you actually have anything valuable to offer?

Like you want to make an impact… but you don't feel qualified. You want to create something meaningful… but you're still figuring your own life out. You look around and everyone else seems more polished, more accomplished, more "ready."

So you wait.

In this episode, we're unpacking that quiet but heavy question: Do I need to be further along before I'm allowed to speak?

We talk about:

• The pressure to be exceptional instead of just honest
• Where the belief that value = achievement might have come from
• Comparing your in progress to someone else's highlight reel
• Why consuming feels safer than creating
• The fear of being average, judged, or not impressive enough
• Why we think healing has to be complete before we share
• And what it might look like to offer your voice anyway

This isn't an episode with a perfectly wrapped answer. It's a space to question the idea that you need credentials, certainty, or a finished story before you're allowed to matter.

Maybe impact doesn't come from being the most accomplished person in the room. Maybe it comes from being willing to speak while you're still becoming.

✨Lets connect on instagram: @mikalen.co

Have you ever thought you were finally over something… and then it hit you all again?

You did the work. You cried. You processed it. You moved forward. So why does it still hurt?

In this episode, we're talking about the part of healing no one really prepares you for — the waves that come back around. The quiet shame of thinking, "I should be past this." And the fear that feeling it again means you're somehow back at the beginning.

We'll get into:

• Why we expect healing to be linear (even when we know it's not)
• How certain dates, firsts, and seasons can reopen old wounds
• The difference between regression and integration
• Why feeling sad doesn't mean you made the wrong choice
• And how revisiting pain can actually be a sign of growth, not failure

Healing isn't about never feeling it again. It's about feeling it differently, meeting it with more awareness, more capacity, and more self-trust than you had before.

If you've been feeling something you thought you already healed, you're not broken — you're human. And you're not alone in it 🤍

✨Lets connect on instagram: @mikalen.co

Lately, I've had this unsettling feeling that I'm watching my life instead of actually living it. The days move fast, the routine feels heavy, and somewhere along the way the fun, curious, light parts of me started to go a little quiet.

In this episode, I'm sharing why I'm choosing to maximize this year differently, not by doing more, fixing myself, or becoming a brand-new version of me, but by focusing on presence, joy, and 26 completely unproductive goals meant to help me reconnect with who I am.

That's where my idea for 26 unproductive goals in 2026 came from — a list of things with no productive outcome, no transformation attached, and no purpose other than feeling more alive. We talk about rediscovering your personality, how adulthood and survival mode can slowly dim your "shout," why joy shouldn't be treated like a reward, and how small, unproductive moments can bring you back to life.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Feeling like a spectator in your own life and how that happens so quietly
• The pressure to constantly optimize, improve, and "fix" yourself
• The idea of "unproductive goals" and how they help you reconnect with yourself and rediscover your personality
• Losing your shout, that excitement and brightness of being alive, and how to find it again
• How adulthood, routine, and survival mode can freeze parts of your personality
• What my 26 unproductive goals look like (from creativity to solo experiences to childhood interests)
• How small, joy-led experiences can make life feel meaningful again
• Gentle reflection questions to help you create your own unproductive goals

If you don't necessarily feel lost, but you don't feel fully alive either… this episode is for you.

✨Lets connect on Instagram: @mikalen.co

Listen to 'How to Rediscover you Personality' on The Psychology of your 20's

Listen to 'How Do You Turn a Setback into a Comeback' on Super Soul with Oprah and Tim Storey

In this week's To Be Honest episode, I'm sitting down with my cousin Sam for an honest conversation about loss, family, healing, and navigating relationships as you grow up.

Sam shares what it was like growing up without her dad, who passed away before she was born and how grief can still leave a hole in your heart, even when you never got the chance to know someone. We talk about how that grief has changed as she's gotten older, how her family has worked to keep his memory alive, and what it means to live with a piece of someone you've never met.

We also talk about her relationship with her stepdad. The resentment she carried growing up, the challenges they faced, and how keeping her heart open has allowed that relationship to slowly become a place of healing as an adult.

Finally, we talk about how making friends after school feels so much harder than anyone prepares you for, how friendships change as life gets busier, and how isolating it can feel when your relationships don't look the way they used to. We discuss the balance between putting yourself out there and learning to be okay on your own, adjusting expectations around friendships, and trusting that connection doesn't always happen on a perfect timeline.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Growing up without a parent and grieving someone you never knew
• How grief evolves as you get older
• Navigating complicated parent/step-parent relationships
• Letting go of resentment and keeping your heart open
• Why friendships feel harder in your late 20s
• Adjusting expectations around friendships in adulthood
• Balancing independence with the desire for connection
• Learning to enjoy your own company without giving up on meaningful relationships

✨Lets connect on instagram: @mikalen.co

January is here, and so is the familiar pressure to "fix" our bodies, get disciplined, and finally become a better version of ourselves.

If you've ever set fitness or health goals that were secretly rooted in not liking your body… you're not alone. I've been there too. So in this episode of Always Becoming, I'm talking about what it looks like to take care of your body from a place of respect and love, not punishment, shame, or self-hate. This isn't about giving up on goals or pretending you don't want things to change. It's about shifting why you're doing it and learning to take care of the body that's carried you this far.

Because you don't have to hate your body to feel better in it.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why New Year fitness goals so often come from not feeling "good enough"
• My own experience hating my body and what actually helped me reconnect with it
• The mindset shift from punishment to partnership with your body
• How to change the why behind your health goals (without abandoning them)
• Letting go of all-or-nothing thinking and focusing on consistency instead
• Practical ways to move your body from a place of self-respect
• Simple mindset shifts you can start practicing right now
• How gratitude and body appreciation completely changed my relationship with fitness
• A simple mirror practice to reconnect with your body visually and emotionally

If you've ever wanted to feel stronger, healthier, or more confident, but you're tired of using self-criticism as motivation, this conversation is for you.

✨Lets connect on Instagram: @mikalen.co