“Youth can not know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it is to be young.” Albus Dumbledore
There is no existence without darkness. That is life’s guarantee.
Big-T trauma
It is so easy to see little-t trauma and simply think that it is just the way things are: bullying or getting bullied at school, parents yelling at each other often, parents yelling at a child often and excessively, teasing and sarcasm, expecting perfection, not accepting a child for who they are, emotionally distant and unavailable parents, parents that are more friends than parents, divorce, hitting children, using excessive fear and threats with children, and the list goes on.
Adversity is good. Little-t, not so good.
The point is this: little-t trauma is a constant in life, for all of us. All humans all of the time and at any age. And everyone’s will look and feel different.
As adults, we deal with it. Most of us do it in unhealthy ways, like drinking, drugs, promiscuity, gossip, binge watching shows, social media, any distraction that feels good, anger, people-pleasing, working jobs we hate. And some in healthy ways, like exercise, meaningful connection, passion projects, new and meaningful experiences, journaling, walking, hiking, therapy.
But children, they adapt.
If you’ve experienced little-t in your life, which you absolutely have, you need to look back on it. Meet it. Face it. Sit with it. Talk to it. Work through it.
If I am certain of anything I am certain of this: we are all here sharing this thing we call life, this human experience, and we are way, way more similar in our experiences than we think we are. And like it or not, we need each other.