Always Mending

The bottom line is that any attempt to change a no into a yes is coercive, whatever your tactics. It may seem perfectly fine because this behavior has been so normalized. But we do agree on one thing, that these relationships should end as quickly as possible. But I take it a step further to say no one should be in a relationship with men like this. Because good men can take no for an answer.

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Don’t try to push your feelings away, that’s what the avoidant does. Love him and believe he loved you, and then let him go with love

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Spoiler: it’s hogwash

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Follow me on Threads for more of these conversations in real time.

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For the last few years I’ve been encouraging men to be more authentic, and women to let them. And I strongly believe that the only way to get men to stop being abusive is to let them be themselves. Whoever they are, leave them alone and let them be. Don’t try to mold them, shape them, dress them, just let them be. Even if it means you don’t get to be in a relationship with them anymore because the real version of them is not the one you married.

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Last night I saw a picture of a blanket in a video I made that brought back something I’d forgotten.

Navy Guy bought me this for Valentine’s Day that year. I forgot about it. I’ve been asking the kids for two years whose blanket this is, and why don’t they put it away. Without this video I might never have remembered.

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

Those who have been mistreated and abused their whole lives have lost their identity and their self-worth. You can punish everyone who hurt them and it won’t do anything but temporarily ease their mind. The only way for them to get permanent lasting help is to focus on themselves.

And if you can imagine for a minute every woman on earth focusing on herself instead of the people who hurt her, those people would be left alone with no one to manipulate and mistreat and abuse.

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