When I started working on this mix, its working title was Wonderlust, simply because I liked that word: a variation on wanderlust ('a desire to travel') which the Urban Dictionary describes as 'the desire to be in a constant state of wonder'.But as the mix progressed, the title didn't fit very well. There were too many dark and unsettling moments... moment that may evoke their own 'state of wonder' but of a completely different kind. The Questions in Anja Garbarek's track are crucial to this mix and gave it its title: a few simple questions to diagnose severe psychotic disorders, a delusional state of mind. There may be quite a few of these delusional moments in this mix, but they are alternated with moments of joy in an almost melodramatical equilibrium. For me, personally, a mix has the most impact when it feels like I'm watching a movie. With ups, downs, some drama, sentiment, moment of joy, climax and anticlimax. And yes: tension and release.So then, if this was a movie, the Jon Hopkins track would be the last scene, and the Metropole Orchestra (or Metropool Orkest as they are named in Holland) version of Brian Eno's classic track 'An Ending' would be the track under the end credits rolling. End credits crediting no less than 45 fragments crammed together in a 59 minute soundscape compilation of music that was never conceived to be heard in a context like this.
This mix is premiered on Concertzender Nederland in Bob Rusche's 'X-Ray' radio show on Sunday, January 6, 2019. Thanks, Bob! '
Tracklist:(first time is the start time, time in brackets is the sample length)
00:00 (01:13) Angelo Badalamenti/City Of Prague Orchestra - Mulholland Drive ThemeMulholland Drive soundtrack, 2001, Milan 74321 89823 200:59 (00:59) Allesio Ballerini - WiwananaWiwanana OST, 2018, Fluid Audio 05401:43 (01:49) Martin Ptak - StormRiver Tales, 2018, Col-Legno WWE 1CD 2044101:57 (00:32) Goblin - Suspiria (Celesta & Bells)Suspiria OST, 1977/2012, Cinevox CD OST 702/s02:30 (02:04) Jóhann Jóhannsson - Seeker Of The Serpents EyeMandy OST, 2018, Invada LSINV203CD03:11 (02:57) Monty Adkins - Still Juniper Snow: Distant WatersBozzini+, 2018, Huddersfield Contemporary Records HCR19CD05:38 (01:08) Anja Garbarek - QuestionsThe Road Is Just A Surface, 2018, Drabant Music, DM58LPPER05:52 (03:17) Gryllus Ábris - Post_02Post_, 2017, Farbwechsel FARB02608:01 (01:51) Autechre - Sinstrailab AirNTS Sessions 2, 2018, Warp Records WARPCD364 08:30 (02:31) Jessica Moss - Fractals (Truth 3)Entanglement, 2018, Constellation CST13810:09 (01:58) Rudolf Eb.er - IshikiriOm Kult: Ritual Practice Of Conscious Dying- Vol. II, 2018, Om Kult OM-210:27 (00:25) Anja Garbarek - QuestionsThe Road Is Just A Surface, 2018,11:05 (01:17) Ulnar - Daylight FireworksDreaming Of Sailing Further West, 2017, Colectivo Casa Amarela CCA00311:41 (02:42) Jean C. Roche - Rancho GrandeBirds Of Venezuela, 1973/2018, Sub Rosa SR411LP12:05 (03:08) Arve Henriksen - SanmyakuSakuteiki, 2001, Rune Grammofon RCD202114:12 (02:34) The Newton Brothers - Feel NothingThe Haunting Of Hill House OST, 2018, Wax Work Records16:23 (02:22) Thomas Vaquié - EcumeEcume, 2016, Antivj Recordings 18:31 (02:56) From The Mouth Of The Sun & Seabuckthorn - Lesser StillWe Stayed The Path That Fell To Shadow, 2018, Lost Tribe Sound21:21 (00:43) Maria W. Horn - AtropaKontrapoetik, 2018, XKatedral XK1221:44 (01:35) Bass Communion - Drugged IV Reconstructions And Recycling (Bass Communion Remixed), 2003, Headphone Dust BCCD522:30 (03:07) Alea Saxophone Quartet - Arvo Pärt: SolfeggioArvo Pärt Anima, 2017, Col-Legno WWE 1CD 2043724:52 (02:57) BJNilsen - Table Of HoursFocus Intensity Power, 2017, Moving Furniture Records MFR06226:40 (04:06) Illuminine - Dear, Utopia (feat. Adam Bryanbaum Wiltzie)#3, 2018, Ferryhouse Productions FHP 4261726:42 (01:27) Michael Fahres - Het Gesloten OgenblikGäbrik (music from the book by Marc Legendre), 2018, Vlaamse Onafhankelijke Stripgilde29:33 (02:20) Mathieu St. Pierre - 23.0785729, 143.9554413 These Elephants, 2018, Se;f-released (Bandcamp)30:46 (01:22) Janek Schaefer - To Row Against The TideWhat Light There Is Tells Us Nothing (For Robert Wyatt), 2018, Temporary Residence Limited TRR30531:53 (01:05) Mothertape - Problem 4In Progress Vol. III, 2018, Centrum Sztuki Współczesnej "Łaźnia"31:57 (01:54) Murcof - Chapitre VILost In Time, 2018, Glacial Movements Records GMO3533:22 (02:16) Varg, Annamelina - Stonewall PoemNordic Flora Series Pt. 5 - Crush, 2018, Posh Isolation 20933:52 (02:03) Ipek Gorgun - MilevaEcce Homo, 2018, Touch TO:10634:45 (02:16) Hans Zimmer & Benjamin Wallfisch - RainBlade Runner 2049 OST, 2017, Epic 1907580085236:11 (02:47) Machinefabriek - HangingEngel, 2018, Self-Released (Bandcamp)37:44 (02:30) Adam Mankowski - Próba Dźwięki Z Offu, 2018, Attenuation Circuit ACU 101339:06 (03:35) Les Horribles Travailleurs - Keizersrande 4 (ft. Anja Kreysing)Off Track, 2018, Esc.Rec 6240:53 (01:06) Rudolf Eb.Er - Licht (Unborn Light)Om Kult: Ritual Practices Of Conscious Dying - Vol. 1, 2018, Om Kult OM-141:32 (04:47) Claudio F. Baroni - Solo VIII-AirMotum, 2018, Unsounds 61U41:40 (02:41) Ed Alp - RTPVCunreleased, 2009, private collection44:31 (03:00) Monty Adkins - Still Juniper Snow: Spiral PathsBozzini+, 2018, Huddersfield Contemporary Records HCR19CD47:02 (01:23) Minco Eggersman - Melisma & GurianKavkasia, 2017, Volkoren 7347:30 (02:32) Jacob Lindhagen - KenopsiaPaces, 2017, 1631 Recordings FR1-01549:14 (02:05) Jonty Harrison - Going Places (2015)Voyages, 2016, Empreintes DIGITALes IMED 1613950:01 (01:18) Cadeu - Echoic VIIIEchoic, 2018, Esc.Rec 6050:50 (02:50) Colin Stetson - Mothers & DaughtersHereditary OST, 2018, Milan M2-3695253:35 (01:33) Jóhann Jóhannsson & BJ Nilsen - Carkeys (reversed)I Am Here OST, 2014, Ash International Ash 11.154:36 (01:13) Jon Hopkins - PrologueMonsters OST, 2010, Double Six DS036D55:35 (04:07) Brian Eno & Metropole Orchestra - An Ending (arr. Dick Bakker)Shutov Assembly Live Paradiso, 1999, unreleasedDownload Delusional Now 136Mb (59:43 min.)
[Alternative download from Archive.org]
[Surround-version (DTS.Wav or .WMA) here]