Ambition Without Compromise

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This week, Monique sits down with Dr. Kemi Doll, a gynecologic oncologist, surgeon, and debut author, for a conversation that is equal parts education, confession, and wake-up call.

Dr. Doll's new book, A Terrible Strength: The Hidden Crisis of the Black Womb and Your Survival Guide to Healing (Penguin Random House, May 2026), does what most medical books never do: it tells the truth in plain language, with warmth, and without talking down to you. In this episode, Monique shares how it changed her relationship to her own body, and Dr. Doll walks us through why so many Black women are bleeding too much, dismissed too quickly, and left to suffer in silence for far too long.

They get into the real numbers behind heavy periods and anemia, what your bleeding is actually telling you, and why the medical system has been so slow to listen. Dr. Doll also opens up about her own reckoning, including missing her own endometriosis diagnosis until she was on the operating table.

The conversation closes on the concept of womb sisterhood: the idea that healing this well-kept secret should not be a solo effort, and that the women in your life might be waiting for someone to simply ask.

GUEST INFO

Dr. Kemi Doll, physician, surgeon, advocate, career coach, and a double-board certified gynecologic oncologist and uterine cancer scientist |  Website | Book | Podcast |  Instagram

GEMS DROPPED

“I want women to have better gynecologic health. I don’t want us to continue thinking about gynecologic health as though, “as long as it’s not killing you, it’s probably fine.” - Dr. Kemi Doll

“​I ​didn't ​realize  ​how ​much ​I ​saw ​myself ​as ​a ​site ​of ​production, until ​you ​taught ​me ​that ​the ​unpregnant ​womb ​had ​its ​own ​life ​and ​role ​to ​play. ​And ​that ​my ​bleeding ​spoke ​an ​intricate ​language and ​that ​​my ​well ​being  ​was ​a ​part ​of ​that ​language.”  - Monique R, Shields

“There’s something very powerful about receiving the message so young that, “when you suffer, be quiet about it.” That message carries forward in a way that goes beyond gynecology and womb health. And that is what I want us to heal from.” - Dr. Kemi Doll

“I invoke this concept of womb sisterhood, which means having one or two people in our lives we can share these things with so when you go to the doctor, you have someone who can come with you. you. ​There ​isn't ​embarrassment. ​There ​doesn't ​have ​to ​be ​silencing. ​These ​are ​such ​vulnerable appointments and having someone there who has your back can make a real difference. It also helps with accountability.” - Dr. Kemi Doll

“Especially for those of us born with a womb or gendered as female, I believe this is one of the first ways we learn to silence our bodies and hide. We ​teach ​girls ​how ​to ​have ​a ​period ​that ​nobody ​knows ​about. ​​That's ​what ​we ​define ​as ​success.. ​This ​is ​how ​you ​hide ​it. ​This ​is ​how ​you ​very modestly ​go ​to ​the ​bathroom ​so ​nobody ​knows. ​And ​even ​when ​women ​talk ​about ​their ​most ​​embarrassing ​moments, ​it's ​always ​somebody ​basically ​found ​out ​I ​was ​on ​my ​period.” - Dr. Kemi Doll

“This ​book ​has ​changed ​my ​relationship  ​to ​my ​body ​​entirely.” - Monique R. Shields

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When a message about choosing your wholeness reaches 100,000 people, you stop and ask, why does this land so hard? Monique did exactly that, and this episode is her thinking out loud about what she found.

She gets real about why so many high-capacity women are stuck waiting for an environment to change before they give themselves permission to shift, why visibility feels terrifying when your whole professional identity has been built around what you can endure, and why community is not a nice-to-have, it is the actual mechanism of change.

GEMS DROPPED

"There's no magic pill number thats like, hey girl, watch these, these three videos and now you will have a more holistic, whole self centered version of success. That's not really how this works. That's not how anything works in terms of creating a transformation in your life."

“What I have found to be the single most important driver is what community that you are in, who is speaking into you, or who is not, and how you have had a chance to practice being different inside of community that is a lot more aligned to who it is that you wish to be."

"We start to develop pride around our ability to endure. And then we start to develop our identity. Our whole person, our whole professional personality starts to get built around what we can endure. And we will talk about it loud and proud."

"You are in control of what environment you choose to put yourself in. Even if the choice is hard. Even if it's like, oh, but this environment pays me a whole lot of money. Even though I am not emotionally safe here, I am choosing to be here. You can never forget that that is your choice."

"Until you feel yourself behaving different, you will not become different."

"The inner voices that we have — as far as I know, not a psychologist — that inner sabotage, those voices that come up from us, they are not ours. They're not ours."

"If you really allowed yourself to fill the depths of what you were truly hungry for, the appetite that you really have for, satisfaction in your work, for feeling aligned more with your values, for feeling safe in meetings, to speak up and to be who it is that you naturally are being, you know, that you naturally want to be and who you actually are, to establish relationships with anybody along any level or whatever, you know, inside your organization, that was truly satisfied, the appetite is humongous."

"My old pastor used to say this. He said, your blessings are locked up in other people. Every blessing you desire, hope for, pray for in this world is locked up in another person."

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Today’s episode is about finding real momentum. Recently, a few of my past clients reached out to share the incredible wins they are celebrating. It honestly blows me away to see the real-world impact of our work together, and I know their stories will hit home for you.

Like a lot of women, I used to play small. But reading those messages right before recording this episode reminded me of what actually happens when you stop ignoring your gut and pursue the work you care about. Too many of us hide our talents because we think our work isn't perfect, or that we need another degree, or that nobody will care.

Trust your experience. Stop waiting for outside permission to feel qualified. You are ready, you have earned this, and nothing is stopping you. You just have to take the first step. So if you’re holding onto a business idea or a creative project you keep putting off, just build it. Someone out there needs your exact perspective.

GEMS DROPPED

“If there is something that you know that you're just good at, or that you're just drawn to, it's like you have this creative inkling to go and put out into the world, someone is waiting on you. Someone is waiting on you…it's going to matter for someone in the end. You don't know how these things are going to take shape”.

“I know that there is someone, there are a lot of us, who are sitting on our visions who are sitting on our talents, or we're just minimizing, the baddest, most exciting and dopest parts of ourselves”

“It  doesn't have to look a certain way for you to get out. Take the thing that you know is in you and just give it like you mean it.”

“No good ever comes from us thinking of ourselves as insignificant or not significant enough”

“Don't wait to offer the most real, the most true, the most honest parts of who you are to the world. Don't wait for someone to tell you that it's time. Don't wait for someone to tell you that it's okay. Don't wait for someone to tell you that you're worthy”.   

“Courage takes time, I think to build… time and testing.  You have to put yourself out there in small ways, and build and build and build until you can look back and see, oh, wow, look how much I've grown. Look how much I can offer. Look what I can do, right? Sometimes it just does take time to, see our magic”.

“it doesn't actually take time to extract your magic, it's already there. Like, you don't need to package it, you don't need to do anything else with it, someone is waiting on it”.

“The community that you've been waiting for, the community that you have desired and wanted. Actually, it's on the other side of you offering your most true and honest self”. 

“There's a connection on the other side of you offering your, whatever your thing is. There is a community, there is a person, there is a human being who is waiting for your bat signal so they can be drawn to you so that you can connect for your purpose”. 

“Doing what you were called to do, showing up as you're meant to show up in the world is not easy. It's going to force you to confront things that make you feel deeply uncomfortable, things that make you feel terrified. And it's not to minimize the fear, it's not to minimize the feelings of terror, those feelings can be real, those feelings are yours, and they are real. And you could give yourself permission to hold those feelings and to just do it messy”.

MENTIONS

Episode 07 | Being "Worthy" Of The Pivot

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In this encore episode, Monique tackles the complex relationship between risk and ambition, especially for women of color. Through personal stories, she explores the emotions that come with pursuing dreams and why it’s important to acknowledge and work through those feelings. She also shares how self-awareness and creativity can help you face fear and find clarity when things seem chaotic.

Join in to discover how to change your perspective on risk and make progress on your own terms.

GEMS DROPPED

“We ​will ​use ​the ​past ​to ​try ​to ​predict ​the ​future. ​Right. ​Because ​this ​is ​the ​thing ​with ​the ​women ​that ​I ​work ​with, ​they're ​not ​just ​saying, ‘​well, ​I'm ​scared ​of ​taking ​risks, ​so ​I ​don't ​even ​consider ​it’. You ​keep ​approaching ​the ​idea ​of ​taking ​those ​risks, ​but ​it's ​kind ​of ​torturing ​you ​because ​you ​keep ​approaching ​it, ​and ​then ​you ​keep ​hitting ​a ​wall. ​Everything ​feels ​too ​scary and ​so ​you're ​like, ​well, ​let ​me ​kind ​of ​think ​through my ​past–right? ​So ​there's ​this ​formula, ​and ​it ​feels ​like ​an ​airtight ​formula, ​and ​that's ​where ​we ​kind ​of ​get ​trapped, because if one or ​two ​of ​those ​variables ​feel ​off, you’re like ‘​ooh, ​the ​risk ​of ​failure ​is ​now ​high’. That ​automatically ​shuts ​us ​down.”

“Where ​do ​you ​have ​space ​to ​actually ​stop ​and ​feel? ​​You ​typically ​don't. And ​things ​are ​often ​happening ​fast. ​So ​you're ​trying ​to ​react, ​you're ​trying ​to ​think. ​You ​haven't ​gotten ​yourself ​any ​space, ​any ​room ​to ​feel ​what ​you're ​actually ​feeling. ​And ​that ​is ​what's ​keeping ​you ​trapped ​in ​that ​merry ​go ​round. ​There's ​no ​creativity ​available ​to ​you ​in that ​space because ​you're ​just ​trapped ​in ​cyclical, ​fear ​based ​thinking.”

“​I ​challenge ​you, if ​you're ​sitting ​with ​this ​kind ​of ​indecision, ​this ​fear ​around ​risk ​and ​this ​story, ​ ​to ​take ​a ​moment ​and ​see ​if ​you ​can, ​​which ​I ​know ​you ​can, ​​embrace ​the ​belief ​that ​I ​am ​someone ​who ​takes ​incredible ​risk ​​and ​finds ​success. ​I ​am ​the ​great ​I ​am. ​I ​am ​someone ​​who ​takes ​incredible ​risks ​and ​finds ​great ​success. ​ ​What ​would ​it ​be ​like ​to ​embrace ​that? ​​What ​are ​your ​earliest ​memories ​where ​that ​is ​true?”

“Remembering the ​truth ​of ​our ​resources, ​remembering ​the ​truth ​of ​our ​history, ​of ​our ​strengths, ​of ​our ​access, ​of ​our ​instincts, ​ ​remembering ​​the ​fullness ​of ​that ​truth, ​it ​changes ​how ​we ​sit ​with ​things ​that ​feel ​like ​risk, ​that ​are ​important ​to ​us, ​that ​we ​want ​to ​move ​through, ​that ​we ​are ​tired ​of ​approaching ​​once ​a ​quarter ​and ​not ​knowing ​how ​to ​push ​ourselves ​through.”

“You ​cannot ​access creativity ​if ​the conditions ​that ​you ​have ​created ​for ​yourself ​to ​be ​creative ​have ​not ​been ​set.”

“Sometimes ​the ​way ​that ​we ​protect ​our ​imaginations is with our ​creativity, ​right? ​That's ​where ​it ​all ​flows ​from ​by ​allowing ​what ​is ​​arising ​in ​us that ​is ​keeping ​us ​stuck…​allowing ​it ​to ​flow ​through ​us ​and ​to ​inform ​us ​about ​any ​limitations ​that ​we're ​placing ​on ​ourselves, ​​any ​lies ​that ​we're ​telling ​ourselves, ​any ​old ​stories ​that ​are ​coming ​up ​and ​distorting how ​we ​believe, ​how ​we ​believe ​we ​can ​exist ​and ​what ​we ​believe ​that ​we ​can ​have. ​That's ​another ​way ​of ​protecting ​our ​imaginations.”

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In this episode, Monique talks directly to women of color about how to stop just getting by and start actually moving forward. When everything feels messy and unpredictable, it is hard to find the headspace to think about growth. Monique gets real about why you need to know where you stand in your own healing and how to handle the nerves that pop up when you start betting on yourself. 

Listen in for some real-world steps to help you plan for what is next and build the grit you need to handle whatever life throws at you.

MENTIONED

Tressi (Tressie McMillan Cottom)

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GEMS DROPPED

“The ​fact ​of ​the ​matter ​is ​that ​investing ​is ​a ​future ​oriented ​opportunity, ​A ​​future ​oriented ​exercise. ​You ​have ​to ​be ​focused ​on ​what ​is ​here ​and ​what ​is ​available ​to ​me ​going ​forward. ​If ​you ​are ​trapped ​in ​the ​never ​again, ​you ​can't ​properly ​assess ​and ​attach ​yourself ​to ​the ​return ​on ​a ​future ​investment. ​Like ​you ​won't ​take ​the ​time ​to ​plant ​the ​seeds ​because ​you ​are ​not ​familiar ​with ​or ​you're ​not ​engaging ​with ​the ​sweetness ​of ​that ​future ​fruit.”

“The ​first ​thing ​I ​want ​to ​acknowledge ​is ​that ​​it's ​really ​hard ​to ​leap ​into ​a ​season ​of ​​thriving, ​a ​season ​of  ​acceleration. ​​It's ​hard ​to ​accelerate ​when ​you're ​still ​recovering. ​​And ​I ​think ​we ​have ​to ​be ​honest ​with ​ourselves ​about ​that ​because you ​can't ​shortcut a ​recovery ​process. ​​You ​can't ​skip ​past ​or ​circumvent ​a ​​wound ​that ​is ​still ​healing.”

“It's ​still ​hard ​to ​believe ​ ​and ​rest ​in ​our ​​seasons ​of ​abundance ​when ​our ​hearts, ​our ​spirits ​are ​still ​trapped ​in the ​story ​of ​recovery ​or ​actual ​recovery.”

“What we gained through our challenges is just as important as the pain we experienced. Both are true.” 

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Starting a business is often sold as an exciting path to success. But for many women of color, the reality of entrepreneurship is usually a lot messier.

This week, Monique gets real about the unglamorous side of building a multi six-figure business and shares the personal experiences that helped her handle the hard parts of the journey. She also talks about the stuff that actually matters, like setting your prices, knowing what your work is worth, and how to deal with those feelings of being a "fraud" that show up when it is time to sell your services.

Tune in to learn how to get into the right headspace, feel good about your pricing, and build the confidence you need to actually grow your business. 

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GEMS DROPPED

“To ​build ​a ​multi ​six ​figure ​business ​and ​to ​sell ​what ​it ​is ​that ​you ​do ​for ​five ​and ​six ​figures ​sustainably, it ​is ​not ​magic, it ​is ​about ​having ​the ​patience ​to ​learn ​what ​your ​value ​is. ​It ​is ​about ​finding ​peace ​with ​the ​discomfort ​in ​the ​process ​and ​it ​is ​about ​releasing ​your ​attachment ​to ​asking ​reasonable ​questions. ​This ​is ​not ​a ​science, ​it's ​a ​practice.”

“Just ​based ​on ​the ​research that shows as ​a ​woman, we ​deeply ​undersell ​ourselves ​or ​​discount ​ourselves, ​I ​think ​you ​should ​just ​lean ​towards ​overcharging ​because ​that's ​probably ​what's ​going ​to ​just ​even ​get ​you ​within ​the ​band ​of ​what's ​reasonable.”

“Pricing ​and ​what ​people ​pay ​for ​things ​and ​buyer ​psychology ​is ​so ​subjective. ​​The ​longer ​that ​I ​have ​been ​running ​a ​business ​or ​I ​guess ​the ​more ​confidence ​I've ​grown ​in ​believing ​that ​you ​can ​charge ​anything ​for ​anything.”

“​I ​also ​just ​generally ​think ​that ​entrepreneurial ​skills ​are ​beautiful ​life ​skills ​to ​build. ​I ​think ​I ​feel ​so ​much ​more ​connected ​to ​myself ​as ​someone ​who ​works ​for ​myself ​because ​soup ​to ​nuts, ​like, ​I ​have ​to ​imagine ​a ​future ​that ​I ​just ​create ​out ​of ​my ​head ​and ​then ​I've ​got ​to ​figure ​out ​how ​to ​make ​it ​happen. ​I ​think ​that ​that ​is ​an ​incredible ​skill ​set ​to ​have.”

“I ​don't ​necessarily ​believe ​that ​we ​need ​to ​be ​doing ​free ​work ​all ​over ​the ​place. ​This ​is ​a ​capitalist ​society. ​And ​I ​think ​that ​if ​you're ​delivering ​value, ​even ​if ​you're ​new ​at ​doing ​a ​thing, ​value ​is ​value. ​So ​when ​there ​are ​opportunities ​for ​you ​to ​get ​paid, ​ask ​to ​be ​paid, ​and ​if ​somebody ​doesn't ​have ​the ​budget ​for ​it, ​then ​you ​can ​have ​that ​conversation.”

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Ladies, it's time to embrace our mess! Because our mess has the most to offer us.

In our latest episode, Monique shares her transformative experience with a group of women who bravely confronted their struggles and emotions. Each woman, while successful in her own right, expressed feelings of falling short in various aspects of life—be it motherhood, relationships, or career. This candid discussion highlights a common theme: the burden of perfectionism and the unrealistic standards that high achieving women often impose on themselves.

Join in to find out how accepting your mess can give you real clarity and a better way to connect with who you really are.

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GEMS DROPPED

“I ​think ​this ​is ​the ​nature ​of ​high ​achievement, ​where ​we ​feel ​we're ​coming ​up ​short ​because ​the ​bar ​is ​way, ​way, ​way ​too ​high. ​And ​that, ​way, ​way, ​way, ​way ​too ​high ​bar ​serves ​us ​in ​many ​ways ​throughout ​our ​life. ​And ​so ​it's ​tricky ​when ​that ​same ​strength ​becomes ​your ​greatest ​weakness. Having ​an ​extremely ​high ​bar ​in ​life, ​​when ​you ​don't ​wield ​it ​with ​intention, ​with ​thoughtfulness, ​is a ​lot ​of ​suffering.”

“If ​you ​allow ​it, ​if ​you submit ​to ​yourself, ​​you ​get ​to ​find ​that ​the ​message ​​is ​not ​actually ​too ​much ​for ​anybody.“

“Many ​people ​won't ​take ​that ​step, ​won't ​move ​past ​that ​threshold, ​that ​marker ​of ​control, ​​that ​line ​of ​demarcation, ​because ​they ​believe ​if ​they ​start ​crying, ​ ​if ​they ​start ​raging, ​if ​they ​let ​the ​sadness ​out, ​the ​confusion ​out, ​that ​they'll ​never ​stop. ​That ​it ​feels ​so ​vast ​and ​so ​deep ​that ​no ​one ​can ​contain ​it. ​No ​one ​would ​be ​able ​to ​hold ​the ​space ​for ​it. ​And ​it ​feels ​unending. be. ​It's ​never ​as ​scary ​as ​you ​think ​it's going ​to ​be. ​And ​when ​you ​allow ​yourself ​to ​let ​some ​of ​that ​steam ​out ​of ​the ​pot, ​you ​allow ​yourself ​to ​be ​out ​loud ​in ​your ​mess, ​like ​you ​just ​kind ​of ​relinquish ​control, ​again ​in ​safe ​held ​space, ​that ​you ​get ​to ​meet ​the ​side ​of ​yourself ​that ​you've ​been ​dying ​to ​meet.”

“Our ​mess ​has ​the ​most ​to ​offer ​us, ​our ​mess ​has ​​the ​peace ​that ​we're ​craving, ​our ​mess ​has ​the ​creativity ​that ​we ​can't ​access, ​​our ​mess ​is ​where ​our ​compass ​lies ​in ​seasons ​of ​life, ​where ​we ​feel ​so ​lost.”

“Just ​because ​somebody ​is ​feeling ​fragile ​in ​a ​moment, ​somebody ​is ​breaking ​and ​cracking ​in ​a ​moment, ​doesn't ​mean ​that ​that ​is ​who ​they ​are. ​That ​fragility ​is ​something ​that ​we ​experience ​sometimes, ​that ​we ​move ​through, ​that ​we ​learn ​from,  ​that ​we ​need ​to ​just ​be ​with. ​And ​then ​you ​find ​your ​way. ​We ​are ​all ​whole.”

“​It ​is ​a ​practice. It ​is ​a ​skill. ​It ​is ​a ​capacity ​to ​build ​within ​yourself. ​And ​it ​takes ​a ​lot ​of ​strength ​and ​willingness ​and ​just ​faith ​​that ​you ​can ​allow ​yourself ​to ​be ​seen ​by ​yourself ​and ​by ​others, ​to ​be ​witnessed ​as ​well, ​at ​your ​most ​honest, ​​at ​your ​most ​real ​and ​raw.”

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In this episode, Monique examines the struggle many women face when longing to reconnect with a former version of themselves. She addresses the common longing of wanting to "get back" to who they used to be, exploring the nuances of this desire in the context of new life chapters. 

Through an insightful coaching conversation with a woman who feels lost after stepping back from her career to raise her child, Monique highlights the challenges of balancing motherhood with personal aspirations.

Tune in to hear the full conversation and gain practical steps to reignite your creativity and confidence while walking through your individual journey.

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GEMS DROPPED

“In ​retrospect, ​when ​you ​get ​to ​this ​stage ​of ​life ​and ​you ​have ​children ​and ​your ​priorities ​change, ​your ​rhythms ​change, you ​sometimes ​miss ​parts ​of ​yourself ​​that ​felt ​less ​​encumbered, ​that ​felt ​like ​you ​had ​less ​constraints.”

“You're ​never ​going ​​to ​be ​unencumbered ​the ​way ​that ​you ​were ​10, ​15, ​20 ​years ​ago. ​Wherever ​that ​version ​of ​you ​is ​that ​you're ​looking ​back ​to, ​she's ​not ​coming ​back. She's ​never ​going ​to ​come ​to the present ​day ​to ​rescue ​you ​from ​this, ​your ​current ​context ​and ​the ​current ​place ​that ​you ​feel ​stuck ​in.”

“​It's ​not ​that ​we ​necessarily ​have ​to ​resent ​where ​we're ​at ​today, ​but ​when ​we ​want ​to ​go ​forward ​and ​we ​don't ​feel ​like ​we ​have ​the ​tools ​that ​we ​need ​today, ​we'll ​reach ​backward ​to ​a ​version ​of ​ourselves ​that ​cannot ​help ​us ​in ​our ​new ​context. ​I ​do ​love ​connecting ​with ​former ​versions ​of ​ourselves ​in ​some ​instances, ​but ​she ​can't ​be ​the ​captain ​of ​this ​ship. ​You're ​the ​captain ​now. ​She ​was ​equipped ​for ​the ​season ​that ​she ​came ​through. ​She’s ​obviously ​laid ​some ​groundwork ​for ​you ​to ​be ​who ​you ​are ​today. ​​But ​we ​can't ​go ​back ​searching ​for ​that ​version ​of ​ourselves ​to ​fully ​direct ​where ​we're ​going ​next.”

“We cannot ​compare ​our ​capacity ​or ​our ​experience ​or ​our ​own ​energy ​to ​that ​of ​other ​people. We ​all ​have ​different ​boundaries ​and ​limitations ​and ​you ​should ​be ​assessing ​that ​on ​an ​individual ​basis. ​If ​you ​want ​to ​push ​through, it's ​an ​individual ​assessment and ​you ​understand ​how ​you ​want ​to ​define ​the ​bounds ​of ​limitation ​for ​yourself.” 

“You ​can ​​at ​the ​end ​of ​the ​day, ​write ​down ​one ​thing ​that ​you ​found ​beautiful ​or ​inspiring ​or ​unique ​or ​curious. ​What's ​one ​little ​thing ​to ​begin ​to ​train ​your ​brain ​​to ​focus ​on ​a ​little ​bit ​more, ​to ​begin ​to ​grow ​that ​relationship, ​to ​begin ​to ​feel a connection to creativity ​again. ​It ​can ​be ​small. ​These ​things ​don't ​have ​to ​be ​grand. Oftentimes ​it ​is ​just ​these ​little ​small ​commitments, ​these ​very ​simple ​revelations ​that ​we ​just ​have ​to ​respond ​to ​that ​will ​make ​all ​the ​difference. ​It's ​those ​incremental ​things ​over ​time. That ​is ​how ​people ​win.”

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In today’s fast-paced world, the conversation about community matters more than ever, especially in a time when isolation is one of the biggest challenges many women are facing. In this episode, Monique breaks down the huge difference between simply being in a room with people and being in a space where someone can truly say, “I’m in the right place. This is where I belong.” She explores why so many women leave group programs, masterminds, and memberships feeling underwhelmed, not because the space was “bad,” but because it wasn’t curated with the depth, specificity, and psychological safety needed for real transformation.

Monique unpacks what aligned community actually means, why group size and curation matter, and how to stop settling for spaces that force women back into survival when they are seeking spaces that support thriving. Tune in for a deeper conversation on discernment, alignment, and how to find a space that truly supports growth, belonging, and becoming more of who you are.

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GEMS DROPPED

“There ​is ​a ​huge ​difference ​between ​finding ​community ​and being ​in ​a ​room ​where ​you ​can ​look ​to ​your ​left, ​you ​can ​look ​to ​your ​right ​and ​say, ​”I'm ​in ​the ​right ​place. ​This ​is ​where ​I ​belong. ​I'm ​so ​glad ​I'm ​here. This ​is ​making ​sense.”

“Aligned community has ​to ​be ​one ​of ​the ​most ​overused ​phrases ​and ​I ​think ​that ​we ​don't ​really ​know ​what ​alignment ​is ​and ​what ​it ​actually ​requires.”

“​Group ​size ​matters when ​you ​are ​trying ​to ​actually ​grow ​your ​network, when ​you ​are ​actually ​trying ​to ​grow ​yourself,  ​not ​just ​up ​level ​your ​skills, ​but ​you ​are ​trying ​to ​see ​yourself ​evolve, ​move ​past ​a ​lot ​of ​those ​internal ​barriers, ​the ​things ​that ​are ​scaring ​you. ​Like ​the ​extremely ​vulnerable, ​interpersonal, ​internal ​work. ​So ​who's ​in ​the ​room ​and ​what ​connection ​you ​feel ​to ​those ​folks ​really ​matters.”

“You ​have ​to ​know ​what ​your ​goals ​are. ​If ​your ​goals ​are ​things ​like ​exposure ​or ​inspiration ​or ​like ​broad ​networking, ​larger ​rooms ​can ​work ​beautifully. ​But ​if ​your ​goal ​is ​actually ​identity ​transformation, ​​you ​want ​to ​become ​different. ​If ​your ​goal ​is ​depth ​and ​community, y​ou ​want ​to ​feel ​connected, ​begin ​to ​establish ​new ​bonds ​with ​people, size ​matters. ​ ​No ​one's ​going ​to ​tell ​you ​that. ​But ​I'm ​telling ​you ​that ​today.”

“​​High ​quality ​rooms ​create ​transferable ​insights.​That ​is ​the ​goal.”

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If you’ve been telling yourself you’re “just not disciplined enough,” this episode is your permission slip to stop weaponizing that story.

Because the truth is you’re trying to create from a body that’s depleted.

In this episode, Monique names what so many high-achieving women experience: you can hold a crystal-clear creative vision for years… and still shut down the moment you finally have time to work on it. Not because you’re lazy. Not because you don’t want it badly enough. But because pressure and creativity don’t thrive in the same conditions.

Tune in as Monique breaks down why execution can happen under adrenaline, urgency, and cortisol, but creation requires something else and offers a grounded shift that changes everything.

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GEMS DROPPED

“You ​don't ​actually ​lack ​discipline. ​You're ​just ​trying ​to ​create ​from ​a ​body ​that ​is ​truly, ​completely ​depleted.”

“​Rest ​is ​not ​a ​reward ​that ​you ​get ​after ​you ​create. ​It's ​the ​requirement ​before ​you ​do.”

“You ​can't ​solve ​for ​your ​dream ​from ​the ​same ​place ​you ​produce ​from ​for ​your ​job. ​​That ​place ​​is ​pressure. The kind ​of ​pressure ​that ​has ​depleted ​you.” 

“There ​is ​a ​middle ​space between ​burnout, ​which ​we ​have ​to ​acknowledge. And ​what ​I ​think ​is ​in ​that ​middle ​space ​is ​restoration.“

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields or YouTube and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].