Ambition Without Compromise

⚡️Click Here To Text Monique!

In this episode, Monique explores a moment so many high-achieving women experience. That moment an opportunity appears and you quietly start building a case for why you shouldn’t take it.

Using the launch of her new YouTube channel as a real-time example, Monique shares what it looks like to move forward without waiting to feel “ready.” She unpacks the familiar fears that often surface when visibility increases, such as What if it flops? What if people judge me? What if I’m not enough? and offers a grounded reframe.

For anyone sitting on a pivot, a transition, or a new chapter, Monique encourages you to shoot the shot, stop self-disqualifying and see what happens. 

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GEMS DROPPED

“​Don't ​count ​yourself ​out ​before ​​you ​give ​it ​a ​shot.”

“We ​have ​this ​​very ​interesting ​relationship ​to ​our ​achievements ​as ​high ​achievers ​where ​it's ​like ​as ​soon ​as ​you ​achieve ​something, ​you ​write ​it ​off. ​It's ​just ​like, ​okay, ​on ​to ​the ​next.We ​have ​just ​been ​dismissing ​over ​and ​over ​and ​over ​again, ​not ​enoughing ​over ​and ​over ​and ​over ​again. ​Through ​every milestone, ​every ​point ​of ​new ​expansion, ​every ​big ​lesson ​learned, ​or every ​iInternal ​shift. These are huge ​things, but ​we ​discount ​​so ​much ​of ​it.”

“​I ​don't ​know ​what ​it ​is ​that ​you ​might ​be ​facing. What it is ​that ​you're ​hesitating ​to ​go ​for,  ​to ​toss ​your ​hat ​in ​the ​ring ​for, ​to ​apply ​for, ​​to ​step ​into, ​a ​phone ​call ​that ​you ​have ​been ​holding ​off ​on ​making, ​there's ​a ​person ​that ​you ​want ​to ​mentor ​you, ​​someone ​that ​you ​want ​to ​connect ​with, ​anywhere ​you ​want ​to ​be. ​Shoot ​your ​shot. ​Shoot ​your ​shot.”

“Whatever ​the ​thing ​is ​that ​you ​are ​holding ​yourself ​back ​on, ​​with ​intention,​ shoot ​your ​shot. ​Stop ​counting ​yourself ​out  ​and ​see ​what ​happens. ​​Know ​that ​you ​can ​cope ​and ​that ​you ​will ​grow. ​Guaranteed. ​In ​any ​case, ​you ​will ​grow. “

“​​We ​have ​to ​push ​ourselves ​into ​​new ​limits. ​And ​I ​think especially ​to take ​emotional ​risks. ​These ​are ​the ​things ​that ​make ​us ​feel ​very ​vulnerable. ​​Oftentimes ​we ​feel ​a ​lot ​more ​equipped ​to ​take professional ​risks, ​tactical ​risks, ​strategic ​risks. ​But we ​don't ​always ​want ​to ​take ​the ​emotional ​risk. And ​the ​emotional ​risk ​is ​​where ​it's ​at. ​That's ​where ​you're ​going ​to ​see ​yourself ​transform.”

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In ​this ​day ​and ​age ​when ​​there ​are ​a ​lot ​of ​things ​that ​want ​to ​stifle ​our ​dreams ​and ​stifle ​our ​energy ​and our ​creativity ​about ​what ​it ​is ​that ​we ​can ​build ​or ​do ​or ​how ​we ​can ​exist ​in ​the ​world, we need support with dreaming. 

In this episode, Monique shares what came up during a recent dream session she led with her clients, and why making space for self-reflection and imaginative play is such a powerful (and necessary) practice. You’ll hear her unpack our relationship with dreaming and the ongoing work of becoming, not the version of yourself that gets approval, but the version that feels true. She also offers a gentle but clear shift: instead of chasing external validation, start paying attention to what you actually desire, because those internal cues are often the most honest fuel for your ambition.

If your dreams have been feeling distant, smaller, or harder to access lately, this conversation will help you reconnect. Tune in, explore what’s calling you forward, and take one small step toward reclaiming your dreams.

GEMS DROPPED

“​Dreaming ​can ​feel ​really ​tough, ​especially ​for ​women ​who ​are ​positioned ​to ​be ​the ​caretakers ​of ​this ​world ​in ​our ​communities, ​in ​our ​families, ​​in ​our ​offices, everywhere ​we ​go.  ​And ​so we ​get ​wrapped ​up ​in ​what ​everybody ​else ​needs.”

“To ​have ​a ​relationship ​to ​the ​dream, ​which ​is ​like ​more ​of ​a ​destination ​positioning, ​as ​opposed ​to ​having ​a ​relationship ​to ​dreaming, ​which ​is ​the ​act ​​of ​creating, ​engaging ​with ​the ​dream. ​I ​think ​the ​line ​of ​delineation ​there ​is ​​one ​points ​to ​where ​am ​I ​supposed ​to ​go ​or ​and ​how ​am ​I ​supposed ​to ​go ​there. ​The ​other ​one ​points ​to ​who ​am ​I ​supposed ​to ​be and ​so ​that's ​the ​question ​​I'll ​pose ​to ​you, ​which is who ​it ​is ​that ​you're ​trying ​to ​be?”

“The ​dream ​is ​really ​just ​a ​byproduct ​or ​a ​symptom ​of ​​you ​being ​who ​you ​are ​meant ​to ​be ​​expressed ​as here and ​now, ​right? ​Are ​you ​behaving ​as ​her? ​Are ​you ​existing ​as ​her? ​Are ​you ​at ​the ​energetic ​frequency? It's ​just ​what ​happens.”

“Whether ​or ​not ​we ​know ​it, ​y', ​all, ​we ​have ​mantras ​running ​through ​our ​heads ​every ​day. ​Directing ​our ​beliefs, ​directing ​our ​actions, ​​all ​of ​our ​choices. You're ​already ​running ​off ​of ​a ​mantra, ​and ​it ​is ​your ​job ​to, as ​often ​as ​you ​can, ​examine ​what ​is ​the ​mantra ​that ​I'm ​living ​by ​right ​now. ​What ​is ​the ​track ​that ​is ​running ​through ​my ​mind ​that ​is ​directing ​my ​thoughts, ​my ​emotions, ​my ​behaviors, what's ​in ​there ​​and ​is ​it ​serving ​me? ​Because ​sometimes ​it ​is, ​and ​sometimes ​it ​isn't. ​Many ​times, ​especially ​in ​a ​season ​where ​you ​are ​triggered ​by ​fear ​and ​overwhelm, ​those ​kinds ​of ​things, they ​don't ​come ​from ​nowhere, ​and ​they ​don't ​have ​an ​impact. ​That's ​just ​external. ​It's ​like ​your ​mind ​is ​running ​on ​something. ​And ​so ​we’ve ​got ​to ​get ​a ​hold ​of ​our ​thoughts, ​and ​we ​have ​to ​replace ​our ​thoughts.”

“Your ​dream ​is ​about ​who ​you ​wish ​to ​be. How ​you ​wish ​to ​be ​expressed ​in ​the ​world. ​It's ​not ​about ​the ​destination ​or ​the ​accomplishments. ​It's ​about ​how ​you ​want ​to ​feel ​about ​yourself. ​​The ​kind ​of ​woman ​who ​is. The ​kind ​of ​woman ​who ​does. ​The ​kind ​of ​woman ​who ​exists. Are ​you ​willing ​to ​put ​her ​at ​risk ​to ​make ​other ​people ​feel ​better?”

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In this introspective episode, Monique shares her self-discovery journey and what it’s taught her about shifting her relationship with money and consumption.

You’ll hear how she’s approaching better money management through a low-buy challenge, plus the real lessons she’s carrying forward from past accountability efforts in other parts of her life.

This conversation is a reminder that financial wellness isn’t meant to be done alone. When we name what’s true, share the messy parts, and ask for support, we create a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with money. Tune in now.

GEMS DROPPED

“​I ​think ​that ​our ​relationship ​with ​money ​and ​finances ​is ​just ​like ​any ​other ​relationship ​in ​life ​where ​it ​is ​a ​continuous ​growth process, ​a ​continuous ​learning ​curve with  ​reevaluation ​and ​reinvestment ​and ​retesting ​and ​retrying.” ​

“When ​we ​say ​we ​want ​something, ​then ​we ​don't ​do ​it, ​It's ​because ​you ​didn't ​commit. ​You ​didn't ​really ​want ​it. ​You ​wanted ​to ​want ​it, but your ​behaviors do ​not ​demonstrate ​that ​commitment.”

“One ​thing ​I ​know ​about ​myself ​is ​that ​if ​I ​have ​an ​accountability ​partner, ​an ​accountability ​group ​that's ​also ​serious, ​I ​am ​​golden. ​I ​am ​golden. ​I ​work ​out ​so ​many ​things ​in ​my ​life ​through ​relationships. It's ​a ​tool, ​​it's ​a leveraging ​piece ​that ​I ​use ​to ​help ​me ​meet ​my ​goals.”

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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected]. 

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In today's fast-paced world, women often find themselves at a crossroads, grappling with their professional identities and the desire for personal growth. 

In this candid conversation, Monique discusses the societal pressures that often keep women tethered to outdated identities and the necessity of forging authentic connections that foster growth and transformation. Her message serves as a reminder that change is possible, and with the right support, women can achieve their dreams and redefine success on their own terms.

Tune in to discover how to reclaim your worth, embrace your agency, and build meaningful relationships that support your growth.

GEMS DROPPED

“I ​do ​believe ​that ​we ​all ​should ​own ​something. ​​It ​does ​not ​matter ​if ​you ​work ​full ​time ​and ​you ​are ​a ​corporate ​baddie. ​You ​are ​busting ​down ​doors ​and ​climbing ​all ​the ​ladders… I ​do ​believe ​that ​we ​should ​all ​own ​something.”

“You ​need ​to ​actually ​take ​the ​reins ​of ​your ​own ​story ​and be ​able ​to ​not ​only ​build ​it, ​​but ​speak ​about ​it ​and ​move ​in ​it. To ​actually ​exist ​in ​this ​new ​identity.”

“Transformation ​is ​a ​choice, ​but ​it's ​also ​a ​result ​of ​relationships. ​You're ​not ​going ​to ​find ​transformation ​by ​reading ​a ​book. ​You're ​not. ​You ​might ​find ​a ​spark ​that ​leads ​you ​down ​a ​path ​towards ​​growth ​and ​development ​and ​transformation, but information ​is ​not ​transformation. ​Information ​in and ​of ​itself, ​does ​not ​mean ​that ​you ​have ​actually ​made ​meaning ​of ​it. ​And ​I ​know ​that ​as ​we ​endeavor ​to ​make ​big ​changes ​in ​our ​world ​and ​big ​changes ​in ​our ​life ​that ​if ​we ​continue ​to ​exist ​only ​in shallow ​spaces, ​then ​we ​are ​missing ​out on ​the ​transformation.”

“I ​know ​when ​I ​feel ​like ​I'm ​down ​in ​the ​dumps ​about ​something ​and I'm ​doing ​that ​thing ​where ​it's ​like, ​well, ​I ​just ​need ​to ​do ​better. ​I'm ​just ​not ​enough. ​I'm ​not ​doing ​enough ​of ​the ​things. I ​gotta ​push ​harder. ​I ​just ​need ​to ​pull ​myself ​up ​by ​my ​bootstraps. ​All ​that ​bs. ​We ​self ​isolate ​as ​well. ​It ​puts ​you ​in ​this ​sort ​of ​self ​fulfilling ​cycle ​of ​the ​thing ​that ​you ​need ​most, ​which ​is ​the ​degree ​of ​support ​that ​you ​are ​not ​getting ​from ​the ​outside ​through ​an ​aligned ​community. ​When ​you ​don't ​do ​it, ​it ​just ​leads ​you ​to ​further ​and ​further ​self ​isolation ​and ​shame.”

“Depth [in relationships]  ​is ​about ​alignment ​and ​a ​mutual ​willingness ​to ​continuously ​reach ​for ​realignment ​and ​overlap ​and ​ways ​in ​which ​to ​know ​each ​other ​more ​and ​to ​create ​more ​and ​more ​permission ​to ​know ​each ​other.”

"When you've ​got ​the ​passion, ​​the ​ideas, ​the ​access ​and ​the ​networks, ​but ​you ​still ​won't ​move. ​ ​That's ​your ​signal. ​It's ​not ​you. ​There's ​nothing ​else ​that ​you're ​lacking…​​Stop ​blaming ​yourself. … ​There ​is ​something ​about ​your ​environment, ​your ​community, ​the ​systems ​that ​exist ​around ​you, ​or ​don't ​exist ​around ​you. ​That ​is ​what ​is ​lacking. ​And ​so you ​have ​to ​solve ​for ​those ​things ​with ​the ​resources ​that you ​have.”

“​’I’ve ​shouted ​from ​the ​rooftops ​that ​this ​is ​how ​we ​have ​to ​move ​in ​the ​society ​that ​exists ​around ​us. ​This ​is ​how ​we ​have ​to ​move. ​You ​cannot ​be ​passive ​with ​this. ​You ​cannot ​be ​wishing ​upon ​a ​star ​and ​hoping. ​This ​is ​not ​a ​time ​for ​just ​being ​hopeful. ​You ​gotta ​take ​action ​and ​use ​what ​you ​have ​to ​get ​what ​you ​want.”

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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected]. 

⚡️Click Here To Text Monique!

This week on Ambition Without Compromise, we’re revisiting a pivotal episode that resonates deeply with our ongoing theme of embracing change. 

Join Monique as she tackles the elusive concept of the "right time" and how it often keeps us stuck in a cycle of waiting for the perfect moment to pursue our dreams. She dives straight into the heart of the matter, sharing powerful insights on how we often cling to familiar paths, fearing the unknown, and how this can lead to stagnation. She encourages us to challenge the narratives that keep us from embracing our true passions and desires. 

It's time to give ourselves permission to dream big and take action! 

GEMS DROPPED

“This ​magical ​right ​time, ​​the ​time ​when ​you ​feel  ​ready, ​when ​things ​are ​in ​place, ​when ​you ​have ​done ​enough, ​when ​you ​have ​prepared ​enough, ​and ​you ​know ​that ​this ​is ​up ​for ​you, ​that ​this ​is ​a ​challenge ​for ​you ​right ​now… ​The ​whole ​thing ​is ​a ​trick.”

“When ​you ​keep ​saying ​stuff ​like, ​well, ​I ​just ​have ​to ​think ​about, ​or ​I ​just ​have ​to ​decide, ​or ​​I've ​got ​to ​give ​some ​more ​thought ​to … ​I ​need ​to ​do ​some ​preparation… ​I ​just. ​I ​just. ​I ​just. ​I ​just. y'all. ​This ​is ​all ​danger language. ​Danger, ​danger, ​danger, ​danger, ​language. ​We ​start ​backing ​ourselves ​into ​deep ​limitation ​​because ​we ​are ​fearful ​of ​giving ​ourselves ​permission ​to ​be ​specific ​about ​what ​it ​is ​that ​we ​truly ​want.”

“Leading ​with ​our ​wants ​feels reckless ​when ​we ​have ​always ​led ​with ​what ​we ​think ​we ​need/​what ​is ​required, ​for ​so, ​so, ​so, ​so ​long.”

“You ​can't ​cut ​something ​off ​from nourishment ​and ​expect ​it ​to ​survive.”

“​I ​recognize ​that ​in ​order ​for ​this ​next ​part ​of ​me, ​this ​next ​phase ​to ​come ​to ​fruition, ​for ​that ​to ​happen, ​I'm ​gonna ​have ​to ​relinquish ​the ​reins. ​I'm ​gonna ​have ​to ​let ​this ​other ​part ​of ​me, ​this ​free ​and ​creative ​and ​open, ​this ​vulnerable ​part ​of ​me, come ​up ​to ​the ​driver's ​seat ​​and ​I ​might ​have ​to ​get ​in ​the ​back, ​I ​might ​have ​to ​get ​in ​the ​trunk ​at ​some ​point. ​That ​feels ​so ​risky. ​It ​feels ​so, ​so ​risky ​internally.”

“We ​disconnect ​from ​that ​part ​of ​ourselves. ​We ​leave ​those, ​air ​quote, ‘​childish ​things’ ​behind ​and ​we ​get ​serious ​about ​life ​and ​we ​put ​on ​new ​coping ​skills ​and ​different ​things ​toughen ​us ​up ​and ​rough ​us ​up, ​and ​we ​forget ​that ​that ​wild ​and ​free ​little ​version ​of ​us, ​has ​so ​much ​power.”

“​I ​hope ​that ​if ​you ​are ​sitting ​in ​stagnation ​and ​not ​realizing, ​I ​hope ​that ​if ​you ​are ​sitting ​in, ​‘I ​need ​to ​wait ​for ​the ​right ​time’, ​or ‘​I ​just ​need ​to ​think ​through. ​I ​just ​need ​to ​figure ​out,’ ​or ‘​I ​just ​need ​to, ​you ​know, ​shore ​up ​x, ​y ​and ​z,’ ​that ​you ​bust ​down ​those ​walls ​and ​get ​real ​with ​the ​truth ​of ​what's ​going ​on ​here, ​which ​is ​​knowing ​that ​you ​don't ​have ​to ​cling ​to ​what's ​familiar ​and ​that ​you're ​not ​going ​to ​find ​your ​freedom. ​Your ​salvation ​will ​not ​come ​from ​this ​place.  ​You ​have ​everything ​you ​need ​to ​make ​the ​move ​if ​you ​give ​yourself ​permission ​to ​let ​that ​part ​of ​you ​actually dream ​it ​up ​and ​connect ​you ​to ​the ​urgency ​of ​it ​all.”

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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected]. 

⚡️Click Here To Text Monique!

We’re bringing back this powerful conversation as a replay because the message is still exactly what you need to hear if you’re feeling called to something more in your career or business. 

Join Monique as she dives into the art of self-persuasion and the importance of recognizing your inherent worthiness. She challenges you to shift your mindset from external validations to embracing your internal power, urging you to ask yourself: Who do I need to be to make the changes I desire?

By understanding the narratives you create around your ambitions and the social contracts you feel bound to, you can begin to dismantle the barriers that prevent you from stepping into your fullest potential.

When you move with confidence in who you are and what you stand for, it’s magnetic. You are powerful. You are worthy. You can make that pivot and this replay is your reminder.

GEMS DROPPED

“Setting yourself up for success is either code for, “I want to make sure that I make a move that protects me from failure” or “how do I make sure I'm set up for it is what will finally make me worthy of the success?” So one is about,  I want to make sure that I have collected all of the Girl Scout badges, and the other is about I've put on enough armor to protect myself. Both of those buckets are a way of thinking that has been handed down to us through traditional career building in corporate structures and neither of those models is going to get you to your intrinsic vision”

“The social contracts that you make with people, they do exist. When we build up different brands, or even just professional reputations in people's minds, they exist, …people need to be able to hold you in their imaginations as something, we need to make sense of each other. But those brands, those reputations are not built on the specific configuration of what you do and how you do it in the world. They're not built upon the specific titles that you carry, and the specific strengths and skills that you have and how those things specifically come together. That's not actually the bedrock, they're a part of it, for sure, but the bedrock of those social contracts, and the way that people are carrying us in their minds… is trust”.

“People are not thinking about us as much as we think they are. we're caught up in our own stuff y'all, like the same way that you're just trying to stay on top of all the basic necessities of your life in all the big questions of your life. That's what everybody else is doing, too.” 

“...things that you think you need to have… all of the shiny objects that you need to collect… all of the people, all of the authorities that need to approve of you before you can make this step, you don't have to be set up in that way for success. The way that we set ourselves up for these pivots. The ways that we prepare ourselves to make these kinds of pivots is by going internal into making some decisions and making some shifts around how we are relating to ourselves, which then carry out to how we move. When we move with that kind of energy, you become magnetic…’

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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected]. 

⚡️Click Here To Text Monique!

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the demands of life and struggling to prioritize your well-being? This struggle is not unique; countless high achieving women share similar experiences of knowing what they should do for their health and happiness, but finding it difficult to take action.

In our latest episode, Monique offers insights that can help transform your approach to self-care and ambition. Join in to explore the systemic influences at play and discover four key pillars that can help you adhere to your personal goals.

By understanding the systemic barriers we face and recognizing the importance of support systems, we can take meaningful steps toward a more fulfilling life. Tune in to learn more about how to align your actions with your highest goals and create the life you truly desire.

GEMS DROPPED

“​Thinking ​about ​what ​keeps ​us ​from ​prioritizing ​our ​priorities, ​I'm ​gonna ​say ​number ​one ​is ​capitalism. As ​we ​think ​about ​what ​are ​the ​things ​that ​hamper ​us? ​A lot ​of ​them ​are ​systemic. ​Which ​is ​why ​I ​point ​to ​capitalism, ​which ​means ​they're ​all ​around ​us. The ​pressures ​on ​our ​time, ​our ​mental ​energy, ​our ​ability ​to ​access ​things ​like ​clarity ​or ​confidence. ​It's ​all ​driven ​by ​these ​systemic ​influences and it's ​by  ​design.”

“We ​have ​a ​whole ​​culture ​around ​career ​building ​in ​this ​country ​in ​particular ​that ​despises ​space, ​rest, and restoration ​for ​our ​body,​ ​mind, ​or ​spirit. So we ​know, ​but ​day ​by ​day, ​the ​lived ​experience ​of ​it ​is ​like we ​know ​better ​ ​and ​we ​have ​every ​reason ​to, ​and ​we ​have ​the ​urgency, but we ​still ​don't ​do ​it.​•

“Routines, ​​they ​drive ​adherence. ​If ​you ​don't ​have ​somebody ​holding ​the ​routine ​for ​you, ​because ​I ​think ​that ​is ​the ​mistake ​we ​make. ​We ​just ​like, ​I ​just ​need ​to ​get ​more ​discipline. ​I ​just ​got ​to ​hunker ​down. ​Girl. ​If ​you ​ain't ​been ​hunkered ​down ​or ​grown ​this ​imaginary, ​you ​know, ​pool ​of ​discipline in ​these ​past ​five ​years, ​it's ​not, ​it's ​not ​coming. ​So ​make ​it ​happen. ​Invest ​in ​making ​sure ​that ​someone ​else ​​is ​holding ​it ​alongside ​you, ​holding ​it ​for ​you. ​Holding ​it ​with ​you. At ​a ​bare ​minimum, ​we've ​got ​to ​find ​ways ​for ​the ​routines ​to ​be ​held because ​life ​is ​life ​in ​life ​be ​lifeing.”

“If ​you ​don't ​have ​space ​to ​actually ​move ​through ​what ​is ​your ​true ​emotional ​state ​or ​states ​of ​being, ​it ​makes ​it ​hard ​for ​you ​to ​also ​align ​your ​actions ​with ​moving ​toward ​what ​it ​is ​that ​you ​want.​Because ​your ​wanting ​becomes ​ ​tainted ​or ​complicated. It ​just ​taints ​your ​willingness ​if ​you, ​if ​you're ​feeling ​​a ​lot ​of ​suppressed ​emotions.”

“If ​you ​are ​not ​doing ​the ​things ​to ​actually ​evolve ​yourself, that ​moment's ​not ​coming. ​It's ​not ​coming. ​The ​way ​it ​works ​is ​you ​invest ​ahead. ​You ​invest ​ahead ​so ​that ​you ​can ​fast ​track ​yourself ​to ​the ​things ​that ​you ​know ​you ​should ​be ​doing, ​but ​you're ​just ​not ​doing ​right ​now. ​​And ​then ​you ​get ​the ​payout.”

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Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected]. 

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Are you feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time? You're not alone! This paradox can be particularly pronounced for women and people of color, who often carry the weight of not just their own responsibilities, but also the expectations of their communities. 

In this timely episode, Monique addresses the struggle of feeling squeezed while trying to maintain personal and professional aspirations and inspires us to rethink our approach to leadership, collaboration, and self-care. Tune in to discover how to reclaim your time and energy while still pursuing your dreams without sacrificing your well-being. 

MENTIONED

70 | Inside Our Marriage: Navigating Ambition, Money, and Vision Together

GEMS DROPPED

“​Don't ​wait. ​Just ​offer ​what ​you ​have ​to ​offer ​when ​you ​have ​to ​offer ​it, ​where ​you ​have ​to ​offer ​it ​from. ​And ​so ​that's ​what ​we're ​doing ​right ​now. ​Sometimes ​it's ​not ​perfect, ​and ​​why ​does ​it ​need ​to ​be?”

“​We ​have ​a ​lot ​on ​our ​side ​right ​now ​and ​maybe ​still ​feel ​pressured. ​And ​I ​want ​us ​to ​realize ​how ​much ​we ​still ​have to ​create ​with. ​All ​is ​absolutely ​not ​lost, ​y'all.”

“It's ​important ​to ​note ​that ​it's ​not ​about figuring ​out ​how ​to ​squeeze ​more ​out ​or ​how ​to ​become ​more ​productive ​yourself. ​It's ​really ​about ​how ​to ​skillfully ​become ​​a ​producer ​who ​is ​not ​​doing ​direct ​producing. ​Like, ​how ​can ​you ​be  ​someone ​who's ​orchestrating ​while ​other ​people ​are ​producing ​on ​your ​behalf. ​I ​think ​that ​this ​is ​something ​that ​we ​really, ​really, ​really ​struggle ​with.”

“If ​you ​are ​overwhelmed, the ​solution ​can't ​be to ​fill ​my ​brain ​with ​more ​stuff ​that ​cannot ​be the ​automatic ​solution, ​or ​it ​can't ​be ​the ​entire ​solution. Cognitive ​deficit ​is not the issue. We ​got ​to ​stop ​solving ​for ​the ​thing ​that ​is ​not ​the ​problem ​​or ​where ​we ​are ​actually ​missing support ​is ​in ​who ​we ​are ​showing ​up ​as ​who ​we ​are ​being.”

“​We're ​attached ​to ​the ​identity ​of ​being ​the ​one ​who ​handles ​everything because ​that ​is ​how ​we ​are ​appreciated. ​That ​is ​how ​we ​are ​seen ​as ​valuable.​That ​is ​how ​we ​have ​connected ​with ​a ​sense ​of ​being ​loved ​and ​belonging. ​That's ​how ​we ​have ​had ​a ​sense ​of ​ourselves ​for ​so ​long. ​It's ​really ​hard ​to ​detach ​from ​that.”

“You ​can ​and ​actually ​have ​to ​begin ​to ​learn ​to ​do ​less ​in ​order ​to ​experience ​more. ​​Period, ​point ​blank. ​Period.” 

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected]. 

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How do you balance ambition with your partner?

In our latest episode, Monique explores the delicate balance of managing personal and shared goals within a relationship. Drawing from her own experiences with her husband, she sheds light on the importance of mutual support, communication, and understanding in navigating shared and individual ambitions.

Monique candidly discusses foundational elements that must be in place for a successful partnership, including respect, kindness, and the value of therapy. As the conversation unfolds, Monique introduces actionable tools and strategies, including the concept of "over owning" and the importance of articulating personal desires. She also shares her unique approach to regular "family off-sites," designed to foster alignment and communication about goals and aspirations.

Plus, she’s sharing a FREE tool to help you get started. Tune in to learn more.

MENTIONED

Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less by Tiffany Dufu

Grab my Family Offsite ​Workbook DM me the word OFFSITE on IG @moniquershields. 

GEMS DROPPED

“​To ​ambition ​as ​a ​couple, ​to ​ambition ​with a ​spouse, requires some ​foundational ​things ​that ​you ​just ​got ​to ​have ​in ​place such as love, ​respect, ​kindness, mutual willingness. If these are missing ​then ​there's ​nothing ​else ​to ​talk ​about.”

“​If ​you ​have ​a ​habit ​of ​feeling ​like ​you ​have ​to ​be ​on ​top ​of ​everything ​and ​own ​everything, ​it ​will ​bleed ​across ​multiple ​areas ​of ​your ​life ​and ​work, ​and ​it ​will ​get ​you ​into ​trouble ​in ​various ​ways.”

“At ​some ​point  ​you ​have ​to ​recognize ​like, ​okay, ​well, ​if ​I ​have ​a ​holistic ​view ​on ​all ​the ​things ​that ​I ​want ​to ​accomplish ​in ​life ​​and ​this ​piece ​of ​me ​over ​owning ​is ​keeping ​me ​from ​the ​things ​that ​I ​want ​for ​myself. It's ​basically ​pushing ​me ​out ​of ​the ​equation. The ​solve ​is ​simply. You ​may ​be ​setting ​up ​your ​partners ​to ​be ​​the ​intern. So ​step ​back ​​and ​let your ​partner, your ​spouse, ​exercise ​and ​build ​their ​competence. Because your  ​co-​CEOs, ​your co-​leaders, your ​one, your ​a ​unit.”

“We'll ​convince ​ourselves ​that ​things ​are ​scarce ​when ​we ​haven't ​directed ​ourselves ​towards ​​wanting ​what ​we ​want ​and ​asserting ​what ​we ​want. ​And ​then ​you ​move ​towards ​what ​you ​want ​and ​then ​you ​create ​what ​you ​want. ​Like ​that's ​kind ​of ​how ​it ​works. And ​we ​don't ​give ​ourselves ​space ​to ​do ​that. ​We ​don't ​take ​it ​seriously ​because ​​we ​just ​need ​to ​respond ​to ​the ​demands. ​We ​need ​to ​be ​reactionary. ​And ​I'm ​telling ​y', ​all, ​​if ​you ​don't ​give ​yourself ​this ​space, ​then ​no ​one ​can ​get into ​that ​space ​with ​you ​and ​help ​you ​build ​towards ​it.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected]. 

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This week's episode is all about confidence! After months of reflection, Monique shares her insights on why we must prioritize optimizing for confidence in a world that often undermines it.

Through relatable scenarios from her coaching practice, Monique illustrates how fear and uncertainty can hold us back from pursuing our true potential. She emphasizes the importance of community and support in building confidence, highlighting how being witnessed in our struggles can lead to breakthroughs. From transitioning to full-time entrepreneurship to navigating family dynamics, Monique provides actionable insights for reclaiming our confidence and taking bold steps forward.

If you’re looking to explore the intricacies of confidence and how to cultivate it in your life, this episode is a must-listen. 

GEMS DROPPED

“​Confidence ​is ​that ​feeling ​you ​have ​when ​you ​feel ​on. ​When ​you ​feel maybe ​not ​ready, ​but ​ready ​enough. When ​you ​feel ​like, ​I'm ​gonna ​take ​this ​first ​step regardless ​of ​how ​I ​feel. That's ​what ​I ​like ​to ​think ​of ​as ​confidence. And ​I ​think ​sometimes ​we ​confuse ​confidence ​for ​certainty. ​They're ​not ​the ​same ​thing. ​And ​I ​think ​we're ​often ​waiting ​on ​certainty ​before ​we ​can ​tell ​ourselves ​that ​we ​are ​confident and ​it's ​really ​the ​illusion ​of ​certainty.”

“I've ​just ​recognized ​​that ​the ​world ​the ​world ​is ​coming ​for ​me ​in ​a ​really ​specific ​way, ​especially ​as ​a ​woman ​of ​color. ​​And ​I ​have ​got ​to ​do ​everything ​in ​my ​power ​to ​optimize ​for ​my ​confidence. ​Not ​just ​because ​feeling ​confident ​feels ​good, ​but ​because ​it ​costs ​me ​to ​not ​feel ​confident. ​​There's ​a ​massive ​cost ​​to ​us ​feeling ​stuck, because ​what ​do ​we ​do ​when ​we're ​not ​confident? ​We ​stay ​where ​we ​are. ​Stagnation ​thrives ​off ​of ​our ​lack ​of ​confidence.”

“We've ​lived ​life ​long ​enough ​to ​look ​back ​​and ​see ​sometimes ​we ​have ​this ​negativity ​bias ​where ​we ​only ​see ​the ​mistakes ​or ​the ​missteps ​that ​we ​feel ​like ​we've ​had ​or ​the ​lost ​opportunities. ​But ​when ​we're ​really ​honest ​with ​ourselves,  ​we've ​done ​so ​many ​things well. ​We've ​done ​so ​many ​things ​with ​integrity ​​and ​with ​courage ​and ​with ​creativity. ​​So ​much ​creativity. ​And ​so ​to ​give ​ourselves ​that ​moment, ​to ​have ​it ​reflected ​back ​to ​us, ​again, a ​confident ​confidence ​booster.“

“What ​it ​means ​to ​have ​the ​support, ​​the ​vetted, skilled, ​appropriate  support ​for ​where ​you ​are ​in ​life, ​​where ​you ​are ​in ​work, ​to ​have ​that ​support ​to ​bring ​you ​back ​into ​yourself, ​it's ​priceless. ​It's ​actually ​priceless.” 

“​We ​cannot ​afford ​to ​get ​stuck. Especially ​now, ​the ​world ​is ​really ​showing ​us, ​we ​cannot ​afford to ​get ​stuck. ​And ​I ​tell ​you, ​the ​fastest ​way ​to ​get ​stuck ​is ​to ​get ​isolated.”

STAY IN TOUCH

Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].