Don't text and canter, kids.

Alex and Ray check back in yet again with the local goings on in Darrington. Always remember your corvid byelaws, folks.

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cw: short mention of grief

Improper gifts, break-ups, pen licences and rival villages. It's an action packed month.

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cw: childbirth complications

Ray and Alex discuss the miracle of birth.

Welcome to this bonus episode in which Alex listens to The Archers' pub quiz special celebrating 70 years on the air. At one point he says 'genitals' very emphatically. It's a good time all round. 

This recording has been condensed, but if you would like to download Alex's full commentary track simply email the secret code and 34 box tops to [email protected] to claim your free prize.

The metaphysical paradoxes of pub quiz patrons. Some bawdy cricket talk. Phillip Moss' slavery. One of these is not like the others and we wish we didn't have to talk about it.

Borsetshire is only on the other side of the looking glass, a world of cake and wellies is but a whisper away from our reality. A chosen one may one day pierce the astral veil between our divided realms. Until then our only window across the cosmic divide is Radio 4. If Radio 4 really exists at all...

cw: underage drinking, drinking while pregnant, alcoholism, modern slavery

As you can tell from our content warnings, The Archers really brought the festive spirit this month.

I don't need to write this description, Jerry's handling it.

In this Joycean epic we encounter mathematics, birthday wishes, a lost fortune, and a trying test of will. By 'will' I mean memory. It's a test of memory.