America's Favorite Elderly Heterosexual Expatriate Humorist

No heart will fail to be warmed by this account of how, when he's pretending to play golf, President Trump is typically camping with his handsome youngest son, teaching the boy to revere nature and to respect even those unlike himself.

A pregame interview with a famous athlete! But what is his sport?

Karen McDougal's relationship turns out to have been less about sex than service to humanity. This one will inspire you.

For nine months shortly after the birth of his son Bannon, future president Donald G. Trump enjoyed hot extramarital sex with Playboy model Karen McDougal, who has explained that she loved him for his mind and his charm. Think about that for a minute. His mind. ,

There are lots of fragrance cachet-laden magazines that will tell you how to dress, but this is where you'll get the best possible advice!

It was my friends Feekle and Anyl, whom I met in the American heartland in 2009, who originally got me excited about Donald G. Trump

A lot of people are saying that the best thing to come out of the recent summit meeting in Helsinki between Presidents Trump and Putin was the idea for a new comedy series on Fox, in which each leader would try to demonstrate himself more manly than the other — with hilarious results!

Santa Monica Slim & The Poisoned Environment Boys, bolstered by the Zelda Hyde Exclusively Caucasian Singers, perform their musical tribute to Donald J. Trump. Lyrics copyright 2018 by John Mendelssohn:

God took an orange dump and called it Donald Trump

Please off a high cliff jump, Mr. Trump

You wear defiant ignorance as some might wear medals

Your world’s full of lies, pots called black by kettles

From ghastly to awful, you cover the spectrum

How does it feel having Mike Pence up your rectum?

You live in a world of gold leaf, all bejewelled

Beloved of numbskulls. So easily fooled!

You deadbeat, you con man, you liar, you villain

You stubborn infection. We need penicillin

How weird that he should be embraced by lovers of the Bible

Tell the truth about the man and he’ll shouting, “Libel!”

With asshats quite unqualified and nincompoops not vetted

The swamp you promised that you’d drain has just become more fetid

You’re vulgar and stupid, a coward and bully

we loathe you not partially but quite fully

Your necktie’s too long, your attention span short

one wishes your mom had seen fit to abort

You fecal stain on history. You foul abomination

To shake your sweaty little hand’s to risk contamination

The rich are different from you and me. They smell nicer, for one thing, and usually have a great deal more money. Many of them have been to something called "finishing school", and have correspondingly lovely manners.

Those who don't go out into the wild and shoot their fellow living creatures dead often have no idea what they're missing!