I did LSD at Boy Scout camp. True story. In fact, six of us created a new Explorer Post (the older scouts who get to do stuff on their own) to be able to party, unsupervised, all summer in the woods. We were the worst Scouts, ever. I got an archery merit badge while hallucinating. True story. And we had to put down our beloved dog Lexie recently and now I am afraid of my wife. It's experiences like this that make me a great Life Coach.

Catholic guilt recently overwhelmed me so in this episode I apologize to a 9th grade teacher named Brother Ted. While I have shame and guilt over how I behaved I also had to learn to be a comedian somewhere. And on a positive note you will hear what we did to produce a solid 18 minute long fetal position laugh... for which I have to apologize.

Could you survive a sudden attack of food poisoning while onstage? I did. Experiences like that are why I am a highly qualified life coach. In this episode you learn if you're an idiot you can end up being the luckiest guy in the world. I treat a friend who is having a late-mid-life crisis. If you get a pocket dial cel call from someone and their phone is near their genitals is that phone sex? And I read an except from my autobiography A Forest of Ennui. Not a word of it is true because I want to get on Oprah. Subscribe and thrive!

Ever have a woman with a beard on your paper route? I had two and it changed my life forever. Ever know someone whose imaginary playmate was a dried booger? There's a lesson here for parents. I define what's a good marriage with a story about an eagle and a chihuahua. Did Sam Drucker, in an episode of Green Acres, have an illegitimate child? There's a lot going on in this one. Subscribe and thrive!

I may have performed a miracle. Seriously. The God I doubt exists may be working through me to heal people. It appears I returned the power to walk to a guy. I recount what happened, and you decide if something spiritual is going on or not. Do you have unique and interesting dreams? I recall some of my most entertaining (at least to me) dreams and also discuss how Trump has ruined the truth. Have I become more than a spiritual guru and become a full fledged faith healer? Please listen and let me know what you think. Subscribe and thrive!

Ever cosmically cause the death of three playground bullies? If not, maybe that's why you're not a life coach and I am. Pop Culture matters- I am a law abiding citizen today because of one hit song from the 60's which led to my helping get our pedophile priest busted. Beatles records and shoveling snow, buying pagan babies and an audio golf analogy to describe the difference between a nun hitting you with a ruler and a yardstick- lots to chew on in this episode. Subscribe and Thrive!

The scariest moment of my life? The night Tony Orlando almost dragged me on stage in Vegas and made me sing one of his total crap songs. I learned a lot from that night, and now, so can you. I also answer some gun rights emailers concerns, talk about the worst comedy club name ever, use the analogy "as uncomfortable as a nun at an orgy" in the proper context and make the case for America's culture taking a downward turn due to one specific song becoming a #1 hit in the 70's. Guidance and direction, it's here for the taking. Subscribe and thrive!

Have you ever had a telepathic conservation with a cow at 84 mph that turned into a great comedy routine, but just for one night? I have. And we can all learn a lot from hearing about this experience. The 2nd Amendment? What would President Bedore try to do with it? (Yes, I am still running for president) And what I learned from seeing an 86 year old woman dressed in super expensive couture clothing as well as a blaze orange deer hunting hat in Los Angeles. Subscribe and thrive!

Has your frustrated hunting dog ever gone on point on a house fly? What would you do (other than get in touch with me, your life coach) when you daughter announces she and her boyfriend have a safe word? Was it a mistake to go to the bars on Halloween dressed as a priest? How do reindeer herders in Lapland "fix" or castrate the non-alpha males when they don't have vets or clinics up there? And what does this tell us about ourselves, or specifically my wife and daughter, after we watched this on PBS? It's a doozy of an episode.

As your life coach/spiritual guru I am trying to make the world a better place by helping you be less annoying to me, and thus everyone else. And that is why I believe conservatives should not be in charge of much beyond their own lives or small businesses. I am not saying they are bad people. I just believe the conservative world view is a big problem. Can liberals be idiots, too? Of course. Please listen to my explanation for how I arrived at this belief and then act accordingly.

I also explain why "drank the Kool-Aid" should have been "drank the Flavor-Aid" and why Ronald Reagan should be seen as a Mister Rogers who screwed the pooch.

And I tell the story about how I once had a telepathic conversation with a cow while driving to a gig, how that experience became the best comedy routine I ever did, but just for one night, and how this all relates to why conservatives should not be in charge of much.