Ancient Intelligence

While there are many topics that must be addressed to resolve the partnership between men and women including work, dating practices, and rights there is one fundamental breakdown that sits at the root of it all - the broken agreement between men and women about our respective evolutionary purpose.

Listen in as I explore how fringe opinions get turned into perceived consensus, the evolutionary mismatch at the heart of modern dating, the unspoken agreement between men and women that has broken down, and more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

01:58 — Obsession with individual freedom

03:45 — Not realizing you're in it

05:28 — Loud voices shaping perception

07:12 — What’s fundamentally interesting

09:03 — The core idea explained

10:52 — Social dynamics at play

12:40 — Traditional roles vs modern shift

14:28 — Loss of certainty over time

16:15 — Romance vs reality

18:02 — Real relationship example

19:58 — Breaking it all down

21:45 — Final takeaway

23:41 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explore what happens to society when we lose the sacred, when meaning, ritual, and honor gets replaced by spectacle and consumption backed by a larger distrust. Drawing on my background in brand strategy and research mixed with my psychology training, I bring together history, culture, and real stories to highlight some of our dysfunction.

Listen in to learn about the lost art of ritual and ceremony, what happens when moral clarity goes away, what’s worse than keeping up with the Joneses, what honor actually looks like, female entitlement versus female support and admiration, and much more:

References:

Matrimony by Stephen Jenkinson

The Way of Men by Jack Donovan

'Inside the Manosphere' by Jack Donovan: https://mrjackdonovan.substack.com/p/...

'Sacred or For Sale: Why We Can't Have Both’ by Anya Shakh: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/sacr...

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & Episode Overview 

01:09 — Reading "Matrimony" & Bursting Into Tears 

02:42 — Sacredness vs. The Marketplace 

04:21 — The Netflix Manosphere Documentary 

05:09 — Symptoms of a Dying Culture 

07:10 — The Manosphere as a Clown Show 

08:52 — Platforming Caricatures of Men 

10:37 — The Gaping Hole of Support for Young Men 

11:04 — Why Young Men Listen to Toxic Influencers 

13:43 — Honoring Chief Warrant Officer Eric Slover 

15:45 — The Humble Local Gym Trainer 

17:46 — Quiet Masculine Strength & Integrity 

20:13 — Ayaan Hirsi Ali on What Women Innately Want 

20:57 — The Feminine Frequency & Fanning the Flame 

21:36 — The Story of Rabbi Akiva & Rachel 

23:56 — Modern Female Entitlement 

26:14 — Singles Events: Entitlement vs. Lack of Courage 

30:43 — The Post-MeToo Dating Marketplace 

31:17—Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explored the duality of patrimony and matrimony. While we barely discuss matrimony in our culture, we definitely don't think about patrimony. Our dismissal of patrimony's importance in sustaining a healthy society is one of the reason's we are unraveling.

Listen in as I draw on myth, tribal wisdom, and an exploration of the meanings of patrimony and matrimony and how they work together.

Referenced in this episode is Stephen Jenkinson's book, Matrimony - Ritual, Culture, and the Heart's Work: https://orphanwisdom.com/store/matrimony/

I wrote a short piece about this in my newsletter last week: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/patrimony-matrimonys-other-half.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Matrimony vs. Patrimony 

02:05 — The Breakdown of Modern Marriage 

02:48 — The House Metaphor: Wiring vs. Warmth 

04:34 — Home as the Amniotic Sea of Human 

06:55 — Ancient Tribes & Genetic Diversity 

08:45 — The Role of Elders in Matchmaking 

10:28 — The Grimm Brothers & The Devil's Three Hairs 

12:15 — The Danger of Hyper-Romanticizing Life 

13:39 — Patrimony as the Aisle of Matrimony 

16:16 — The Mother Work of Matrimony & Lost Traditions

20:00— Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I continue with the exploration of men, women, and work. Last week I looked at how the Industrial Revolution broke the initial bond between men and women and what has occurred since then.

Watch it here: How the Bond Between Men and Women Broke D...  

I continue on here with the question - how can men and women find harmony today? I argue that if we continue to look at life from an autonomous egalitarian perspective, we won’t be able to.

Listen in as I discuss three pillars that we need to come together on if we’re going to have a chance. Learn about the different schools of feminist thought pre-suffrage, the importance of motherhood, sacred time versus market time, a recent paper on fertility from Denmark, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — The Cost of Equality & Motherhood 

00:42 — Intro: Working Together in the AI Age 

01:32 — How the Industrial Revolution Divided Us 

02:02 — Why "A Man Provides" is a Harmful Mantra 

03:30 — The Modern Search for Meaning 

05:28 — The 1960s Shift to the Public Sphere 

08:01 — The Unquantifiable Value of a Mother 

10:04 — Prioritizing Ritual & Community 

11:20 — The Danish Fertility Paradox 

13:06 — Feminism of Freedom vs. Feminism of Care 

17:09 — Masculine Vision & Feminine Manifestation 

19:32 — Workplace Double Standards & Maternity 

20:47 — Embracing Natural Biological Strengths 

21:43 — Building Complementary Businesses Today 

24:46 — Why people aren’t having kids

25:28 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a mindset coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explore what really happened to men and women when work first left the home.

The effects of the Industrial Revolution on the bond between men and women is something that is not spoken about often. In the name of productivity, progress, and consumption - we have traded many things most of all meaning.

Listen in as I highlight some pieces of history that are important in putting together the puzzle of male and female dynamics.

Learn about why the temperance movement started, what first separated men and women, why male vices grew in the nineteenth century, and much more.

Perhaps this is all a transition to a more beautiful and whole future state? What do you think? That is something I’ll explore in the next episode.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Masculine & Feminine Dynamics

00:41 — Welcome & Episode Overview

01:22 — Men's Coaching Announcement

02:10 — The Industrial Revolution's True Impact

03:42 — 1913 News & The End of the Dowry

06:09 — Complementary Opposites: The Sun & The Moon

09:33 — The Pre-Industrial Reality of Women's Work

11:51 — The Heavy Plow & Mechanization of Labor

14:46 — Stephen Jenkinson & The Monetization of Goods

15:29 — Overworked Men & The Rise of Male Vices

17:20 — Why Women Started the Temperance Movement

19:14 — Suppressed Grief & The Feminization of the Church

21:55 — Post-WWII Comfort & The 1950s Housewife Trap

23:38 — Confusing Earning Power With Co-Creational Energy

25:40 — Returning to Harmony & Future Dynamics

26:51 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a men's mental health coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

About This Episode

In this guest episode I sit down with Professor Marc J. Defant, Professor of Geology and Geochemistry whose work spans the physical sciences and evolutionary psychology.

Recently he published a peer-reviewed paper in Sexuality & Culture titled “Evolutionary Psychology and the Crisis of Empirical Rigor in Feminist Studies” - https://rdcu.be/eOkjZ

The paper argues that much of modern feminist scholarship is ideology and not grounded in any truth. Professor Defant and I discuss how social constructivism has created confusion about relationships, work, masculinity, and femininity. We explore human evolution, parental investment theory, cross-cultural studies of mate selection preferences, and much more.

Listen in to learn how feminism might have broken an old template but has gone too far in denying human nature, why suppressing sex differences actually clarifies them more, the real roots of the pay gap, and what’s really going on between men and women today.

Get in touch with Professor Marc J. Defant here: https://www.marcdefant.com/about/

-Watch his TED talk here: https://youtu.be/_nCOhrYV7eg?si=SmxngOyM1fTCaO1aTIMESTAMPS:

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & Attraction Differences

01:00 — Introducing Professor Marc J. Defant 

01:56 — Background in Evolutionary Psychology 

03:11 — Feminist Critiques of Biology 

04:00 — Social Constructivism vs. Instincts 

06:48 — Motherhood & Changing Priorities 

08:44 — How Fatherhood Changes Men 

10:11 — Human Evolution & Brain Size 

11:51 — Male Parental Investment 

14:25 — Cross-Cultural Mate Preferences 

14:56 — Why Men Value Youth & Beauty 

16:26 — Modern Women Providing Resources 

18:51 — The APA on Toxic Masculinity 

20:06 — High-Earning Women & Divorce 

21:33 — The Crisis in Feminist Studies 

23:44 — Fat Studies & Health at Every Size 

25:52 — Body Positivity & Reproductive Suppression 

28:16 — Unrealistic Beauty Standards 

29:32 — Societal Pressures on Young Men 

31:24 — Objectification vs. Natural Attraction 

32:20 — The Importance of Inner Beauty 

33:53 — Women's Long-Term Mate Preferences 

35:28 — Hetero-Pessimism & Dating Apathy 

36:21 — Female Entitlement & Independence 

37:04 — The Patriarchy & The Pay Gap 

38:35 — Flexibility & Occupational Choices 

40:01 — Women Dominating Modern Fields 

42:00 — Rethinking Societal Expectations 

44:36 — Male Competition & Workplace Dynamics 

46:08 — Did Early Feminism Misunderstand Needs? 

47:00 — The Alternative Path of Early Feminism 

49:15 — The Biological Reality of the Sexes 

51:45 — Consequences of Blank Slate Theory 

54:10 — Equal Opportunity vs. Equal Outcomes 

56:30 — How Men & Women Communicate Differently 

59:00 — The Importance of Complementary Roles 

01:01:20 — Fixing the Modern Dating Market 

01:03:45 — Advice for Young Men Today 

01:06:15 — Navigating Career vs. Motherhood 

01:08:45 — Building a Meaningful Partnership 

01:12:46 — Discussing Marriage Expectations Early
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a men's mental health coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I highlight the pervasive heteropessimism that exists in the culture today (on both sides of the aisle). Inspired by this recent article written by Mana Afsari - https://thepointmag.com/examined-life...

I dive into one of the blind spots I see happening in dating: categorical thinking. I wrote a short piece about this - find it here: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/the-...

Listen in to learn about what categorical thinking looks like and how we’ve decoupled humanity from the opposite sex. I also link this idea to the historical example of what was happening in the Weimer Republic in Germany 100 years ago and how today's struggles can be an analogue to that time (inspired by https://www.louiseperry.co.uk/p/weima...)

One thread I’d like to continue to pull on is how to separate romantic love and pair bonding. Romantic feelings won't get people to their gold wedding - this is an important piece of the conversation.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

02:18 — Setting up the main idea

04:42 — Where people misunderstand this

07:05 — The emotional dynamic at play

09:29 — What this reveals about relationships

11:53 — The deeper psychological layer

14:17 — How this pattern shows up in real life

16:41 — Why most people miss this

19:06 — The consequence of ignoring it

21:30 — What actually changes things

23:54 — The core takeaway

26:25 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a men's mental health coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I dive into a teaching that can help us understand the difference between solid and sturdy love versus insecure attachment (or filling a void).

In the midst of the gender discourse, conversations about love and humanity can get skipped over. There is a foundational human-ness that exists in men and women that is found through trust, respect, and appreciation that must exist first. Then we can layer the masculinity and femininity conversations on top of this.

Listen in to learn about where most modern relationships go wrong, the two human souls, how healing works, where masculine and feminine energy comes in, why the Sound of Music is a great example of true love in film, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

02:40 — Why The Sound of Music still resonates

05:25 — Remembering impact over details

08:05 — When ideals clash with reality

10:47 — Admiration, respect, and integrity

13:30 — The voids shaped by childhood

16:13 — How pain turns into darkness

18:52 — Reflection and pause

21:37 — What a trustworthy man looks like

24:58 — Integrating the lesson

27:01 — Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Ready to make some serious moves in your life? I offer 1:1 mentorship, healing, and coaching to help you get unstuck, experience your full range of power, and find ease and connection in love and relationships. Book a consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/1on1se...

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I am joined by Igor Vasilevitsky, a counselor, father, and exceptional writer on all things healing, masculinity, and femininity. He works with archetypes to help men and women heal and grow (he has helped me on my own journey).

We dive into the benevolent or divine father archetype and unpack why he is so important in our world. The father represents guidance towards what is good and it’s very clear how we as a society deeply long for our collective 'dad' to come home to us.

Listen in as we dissect the masculine archetypes, demystify the healthy father, discuss power and love, how anyone can learn to father themselves, and so much more.

Igor, as a father himself, has created an online community hub for men who are seeking to mature into the healthiest, most benevolent and generative versions of masculinity. You can find the group here:   / 1599769308033077  

Other ways to get in touch with Igor:

Book a session: https://taplink.cc/igor_healing

Find him and his writing on facebook:   / igor.vasilevitsky

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & The Journey to Fatherhood 

01:05 — Welcoming guest

02:06 — Defining Archetypes: Blueprints of the Soul 

03:00 — The Evolution of Feminine Archetypes 

03:45 — Cultural Conditioning vs. Inner Truth 

06:40 — Healing the Father Wound

07:45 — Embodying the Benevolent Father Energy 

10:00 — Creating Safety for Women & Children 

11:05 — Defining True Masculine Presence 

13:40 — Reading Igor’s Writing on the Father 

14:35 — From Atheism to Divine Fatherhood 

16:15 — Surrendering the Ego to Something Greater 

18:40 — The Rise of the Feminine & The Missing Masculine 

20:00 — Moving Past "Bad Dad" Tropes & Misandry 

21:00 — The Universal Longing for a Father 

22:30 — Expressing Anger at the Absent Father 

24:10 — Developing an Inner Moral Compass 

24:55 — The Tyrant vs. The Nice Guy 

26:15 — Shadow Work & Reclaiming Power 

27:35 — Spiritual Atheism & The Narcissistic Ego 

29:20 — Fathering Yourself vs. Being Run by Impulses 

29:50 — Example: How the Benevolent Father Handles Anxiety 

32:00 — Replacing Shame with Benevolent Guidance 

34:05 — The NFL Statistic: Fathers & Success 

34:40 — The King Archetype Defined 

35:40 — King vs. Father: The Difference 

37:45 — Developmental Paths: Lover vs. Warrior Boys 

39:10 — Why We Need Guardrails 

42:25 — The Purpose of the Warrior Archetype 

44:40 — Why Boys Need Duality (Good vs. Bad) 

46:25 — The Magician Archetype: The Alchemist 

47:30 — The Shadow Magician: Intellectualization 

48:40 — Example: Shaping Relational Reality 

52:00 — The Lover Archetype & The Heart 

53:35 — The Danger of Getting Lost in Emotion 

56:00 — The Mother Wound & Failure to Launch 

57:00 — Rites of Passage & Cutting the Cord 

59:20 — The Benevolent Father Course Details 

01:04:23 — final thoughts/Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Ready to make some life changes? I offer 1:1 mentorship to help you get unstuck, experience your power, and find ease in love and relationships. Book a breakthrough session today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/1on1se...

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

Girls and women are driven by one central evolutionary purpose - to protect their bodies well enough to create and sustain life. A woman’s survival strategy and inner drive is fundamentally different from a man’s because while his is focused on the macro, hers is on the micro.

I get into the evolutionary psychology of boys and men in the previous episode which can provide context here.

Listen in to learn why girls are hyper-vigilant, show higher rates of anxiety and depression, avoid risk, and invest heavily in politeness and emotionally driven relationships, and much more.

SOURCE: Joyce Benenson’s book ‘Warriors & Worriers’

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Why Parents Treat Girls Gently 

00:37 — Warriors and Worriers: The Psychology of Girls 

01:26 — One-on-One Coaching Announcement 

01:54 — The Core Evolutionary Drive: Self-Preservation 

03:23 — The Number One Fear: Dying Before Motherhood 

05:08 — Historical Mortality Rates & Female Caution 

06:19 — The Nursery Study: Susceptibility to Fear 

08:18 — Parenting Bias: Protecting the Stronger Sex? 

10:31 — Risk Perception: Why Men Do "Stupid" Things 

11:51 — Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia & Social Fears 

13:06 — Reliability in the Home: Daughters vs. Sons 

15:15 — Intellectual Risk: Sticking to the Status Quo 

16:19 — Male Fluid Intelligence vs. Female Verbal Skills 

17:12 — The Trap of Misdirected Empathy 

18:33 — Mothering the Community & Grandmother Wisdom 

19:35 — Hypervigilance: Reading Intentions Instantly 

20:39 — The Historical Threat of Poisoning 

21:37 — Assessing Vulnerabilities in Female Friendships 

22:23 — The Politeness Experiment: Disappointing Gifts 

25:39 — Textiles, Creativity & Individual Affirmation 

28:18 — Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Ready to make some life changes? I offer 1:1 mentorship to help you get unstuck, experience your power, and find ease in love and relationships. Book a breakthrough session today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/1on1se...

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)