Another Great Mistake

Hello, beautiful people!

Today loads of short topics, from the curse of validation and the journey beyond, to self-discovery, intimacy in friendships, dating expectations, and declining birth rates.

When discussing relationships, we will highlight the benefits of intimate connections that nourish both sides and enriches their lives. Not only in case of romantic relationships but also, friends and family.

When landing on the topic of relationships we talk about the benefit of intimate relationships which are feeding you and you're able to enrich their lifes. That applies to romantic partners, friends and family. However, when we seek romantic partners based on societal expectations, we often look for the “perfect” person—someone who seems complete and ready—but we should consider giving chances to those we can grow with instead.

We understand that it’s easier to find someone who appears mature and organized, but most of us reach that level with support from others. At least one person has to believe in us and give us a chance. So, is it worth waiting for the ideal partner while we still have personal growth to do? It might be rewarding to start that journey alongside someone else.

As always we love you,

Niko & Klaudia

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Relevant links:

Scottish census 2022

Modern Wisdom with Mads Larsen - The hidden truth about our collapsing birth rates.

Rich Roll and Esther Perel - Relationship Expert: this will destroy your relationship

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello, beautiful people!

Welcome back after a few weeks of break! Busy lives, holidays, and here it comes four weeks later! Today, we start with a check-in with each other and beautiful proof of how self-awareness can be useful in your life. Niko talks about realising how his tiredness impacts information processing and learning and how we all need to sometimes just find the strength in accepting that we're weak and need a break.

Afterwards, we go into the enigmatic topic of cowboy builders of our minds and lives. We learn and shape throughout our entire life. Some things we learn because we want to, and our parents, school, culture, and environment are passing down some. All of this creates some sort of furnishing of our mind and life. Very rarely do we look inside and rethink the origins and current usefulness of those decor elements. Yet sometimes comes a moment when we learn something new, bring a skill, dream, person or just a thought, and despite us choosing to do so, it feels incredibly uncomfortable, out of place. And for some unknown reason, we're used to discarding the things which feel like this rather than looking inside and thinking, what is stopping me, blocking me, what is clashing there? So listen for why you shouldn't let the cowboy builders of your mind discard things that could make your life more interesting, better, or just a tiny bit more aligned with what you dream of.

The second part of the episode was a surprise for the two of us, too! We completely spontaneously discovered the dead end of Niko's autistic brain. We talk about empathy, emotions, understanding other people's perspectives, and how some people might not be capable of getting there. Like never, even if they try. How come you can cry during The Lion King but can't understand why you're making your girlfriend cry? How come you're kind, but some might see your behaviours as di**head moves?

Well, listen and learn with us!

Niko & Klaudia

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello, beautiful people!

Today's episode covers a wide range of topics, but it ultimately focuses on the theme of learning and knowledge. We start by discussing the idea of not knowing and learning how to feel proud about it, inspired by Niko's daughter. We touch on why most people find it hard to admit when they don't understand something and why this can be disrespectful and stop them from learning something new.

Once again, the importance of knowledge and understanding comes into play. This concept highlights the risk of placing too much emphasis on measurable data or indicators, which can hinder our ability to comprehend the "what," "why," and "how" of our actions because not all indicators can be fully verified or replicated. We can relate this to our work, decision-making processes, and even our weightloss goals.

The last topic we open with a quote from Jerry Colonna: "How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?" This question, when applied as a daily habit by a curious person who wants to change something in their life, can yield meaningful results. However, is it as simple as it sounds?

Listen for more, let us know what you think and subscribe!

As usual, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello, beautiful people!

When it comes to self-development, coaching, or therapy, nothing will happen by itself. You might consume plenty of books, spend dozens of hours and thousands of pounds on coaching and therapy, but you will not get the results you're looking for without putting tools and learning into practice.

Tools will not make your problems disappear. They will not obliterate learning difficulties, cure anxiety or depression, or erase a problematic childhood. However, they can make life more manageable.

Where do you start? The key is to keep trying and using the tools we learn, even if we fail at times.

We discuss gratitude practice, visualizations, journaling, breathing techniques, grounding techniques, routines, finding comfort in discomfort, but most of all, finding the key to success: compassion for yourself.

We're also talking about being enough and how the constant feeling of inadequacy and lack of purpose can be easily compared to chronic pain. You can get used to this, but it will linger and affect our lives, possibly at the worst times.

We explore the acceptance of all emotions and how all of the above connects to mental health and suicide crisis among men above the age of 40.

To learn more, keep listening.

As always, we love you!

Klaudia & Niko

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello beautiful people!

Welcome back after a long break! We're coming back with stories of our Icelandic adventure. An over 100km trek through the most astonishing and ever-changing landscapes, some of which few have walked through. We started at Skógafoss waterfall, spending the night next to the infamous Baldvinsskáli hut with its raw and harsh surroundings. From there, we followed the Fimmvörðuháls hike to the magical land of Thórsmörk. Continuing on the Laugavegur trail, we ended our journey at the hot springs of Landmannalaugar.

However, this episode isn't just about the trek itself. It's about what we've learned and how our bodies and minds reacted to the change in our daily structure and living conditions. Most importantly, it's about how being prepared, both physically and equipped with appropriate gear, made the trek a pleasurable experience. Days later, it felt more like a retreat on Bali than a trek through rain, winds, black sands, snow, and lava fields.

We finish the episode with a metaphor leading us to our second topic: emotional fluidity. It's an ability to move freely between emotions and let them flow through you without resistance, defence, avoidance, and denial. This isn't something you wake up with one day. We have it as babies, but it disappears. The only way to get it back is to equip yourself with tools and strategies and, most importantly, train your heart, head, and gut to do so.

Listen for more, and from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for your time!

As always, we love you!

Klaudia & Niko

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Mentioned in the episode:

Act of Accomplishment - Emotional Fluidity

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello beautiful people! 

Welcome to today's episode, where we delve into the fascinating topics of progress, introspection, and patience. But what truly takes the spotlight is the interplay between positivity and the deeply ingrained negativity in our minds. We'll share our personal insights, explore the power and curse of lived experience, and equip you with practical tools to enhance your thinking patterns. And the best part? These tools are so simple, they're perfect for children too. 

Negativity bias is one of the most fascinating phenomena we have encountered in recent months. Surprisingly, it is rarely spoken about and has been documented over 20 years ago! In short, negativity bias is the default of our brain to react stronger and quicker to negative stimuli - emotions, information, events and outcomes. Even though it could be observed already in 3-month babies, you can work on changing the wiring of your brain to be positively biased. In the episode, we discuss its origin and our steps to change how we change it, bit by bit. However, we also talk about our own negative biases, which we still process and notice at work and in our daily lives.

Throughout the episode, there's a lot about Niko's work and his belief that each person deserves a nonjudgmental and compassionate approach to others, especially if they went through hell: traumas, addiction, abuse, illness, etc. He also discusses how a positive work environment, acceptance, and understanding could not only help you achieve your true human and employee potential but also inspire personal growth. 

This is one of the best episodes we've done so far. If not for Niko's full bladder, it would be even longer ;) 

Listen, share and let us know what you think!

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

Mentioned in the podcast:

Article about negativity bias which will explain you what it is with a test which help you identify where you are.

"Unstressable: A Practical Guide to Stress-Free Living" by Mo Gawdat and Alice Law

If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Today, we’re discussing a healthy balance between self-discipline, accountability and self-compassion. 

Kindness and self-compassion have been mentioned many times in our past episodes, but today, we’re talking about them as tools for getting out of the loop of guilt, shame, and quitting. There is a vast amount of research stating that self-compassion is one of the biggest promoters of positive outcomes for those suffering from depression, anxiety and trauma. 

Yet, it’s important in every other aspect of our lives. In your workout routine, dietary choices, habits, and hobbies, We all fail and slip off, and actually, it’s needed to build resilience and the ability to bounce back. 

This episode has so much more, so listen and let us know what you think!

As usual, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello beautiful creatures!

Everything in this episode is based on our experiences and values, and it is not our intention to offend or argue with someone. Religion, beliefs, and spirituality are all about the things you've been exposed to, your upbringing, culture, and the feelings within you, as well as how all those connect. 

Beliefs, spirituality, and religion are deeply personal matters, and it's rare to find two people who agree entirely on these grounds. It's not surprising that we, too, hold different perspectives. However, it's important to emphasize that all viewpoints are respected and valued in our discussion.

We discuss today our personal journeys, how our vision of god formed over years, our opinion about instituation of church, roots of the religion we've been brought up and how it changed over years with all we've learned and lived through. 

We talk about our own way of believing and why religion-based hatred has no point whatsoever in our eyes. You'll learn what is difficult for us to understand and accept and why some of the things we believe in might be unnecceptable for you. 

Finally learn what connects all of us, nevermind the religion or god you're following. 

Enjoy and we hope you'll be happy and safe to share your opinion! 

As always, we love you!

Klaudia & Niko

If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello beautiful creatures!

Today, we start with a review of Jimmy Carr's recent book, and the quote from the book leads us to the topic of the episode.

"Give and forget, receive and remember"

In this episode, we will discuss altruism, kindness and giving back.

Why do we believe that these qualities are inherent in our nature? When we refer to our default mode, we are referring to the raw human being, stripped of all the experiences, illnesses, upbringing, mistakes and missteps that have shaped us over time.

The answer is simple: our evolution is intertwined with altruism, specifically reciprocal altruism (as proposed by Robert Trivers). Giving back creates a chain reaction of goodness, and research has shown that the more people help others, the more likely they are to receive help in the future. Furthermore, those who have been helped are more likely to pay it forward and help others in turn.

Studies have also shown that kindness and altruism play a critical role in our partner selection for reproduction and life. We are more likely to be attracted to someone who is kind to others, like a server in the restaurant or an older guy in the queue in the cinema. We want someone who is kind to our child's parents and our town's mayor. This phenomenon is also observed in the animal kingdom.

While there are certainly cruel and selfish individuals who only take and never give back, they are outliers or individuals who have forgotten or never experienced their default mode due to unfortunate life events.

Choosing to be kind and giving back leads to happiness and allows us and others to reap the benefits of these small acts. Each of us has a default mode of kindness encoded in our genes. Next time you think someone thinks wrong of you or judges you, remember that they have a default mode of kindness, as do you! So don't hurt yourself and others by projecting things; work on going back to the default mode.

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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Mentioned in the episode:

"The Ape that Understood the Universe: How the Mind and Culture Evolve" by Steve Stewart-Williams

"Before & Laughter: A Life Changing Book" by Jimmy Carr

"Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience" by Brené Brown

The article about computer simulation where Tit for Tat wins

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

I apologize, but I cannot see any errors in the original text you provided. However, I can certainly rephrase it to make it more clear and easier to understand.

Greetings, lovely individuals!

For a long time, medical professionals and scientists believed that the mind and body were separate entities. However, recent research has shown that the mind and beliefs have a direct impact on our physical health, including our organs and brain. It is now clear that the mind and body are one system.

Today, we'll start with some excellent examples of how the mind and body interact and then move on to self-awareness (again!) Specifically, we'll examine how a lack of basic needs can impact self-awareness for many people.

This leads us to the important topic of poverty. Poverty can have a misleading definition, with many still picturing it as it was in the 19th century: hunger, homelessness, and begging on the streets. Unfortunately, this is still a reality for some people in the 21st century. There are individuals in the UK who die due to malnutrition and exposure to the cold.

However, poverty is much more than these visible signs. It has a significant impact on mental health, causing anxiety, stress, and constant worry. Those who experience poverty feel shame, guilt, and a lack of self-confidence, often feeling the need to hide their situation yet knowing that they are poor.

Please take a moment to reflect and share your own perception of poverty.

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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Mentioned in the book:

The Mindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health by Ellen J. Langer

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258