Another Great Mistake

Hey there, beautiful creatures!

In today's episode, we're discussing transition points in our lives and how they can be made easier with the help of connections.

In the previous episode, we mentioned that, on average, we experience around 30 life changes. Some of these changes occur during transition periods, such as the shift from childhood to adolescence and adolescence to adulthood. Another significant transition occurs when we move from adulthood to old age, which typically happens around retirement age. As a result, support providers, psychologists, and various third and first-sector projects are becoming increasingly interested in these stages of life. In short, we all know that young and elderly people require assistance with these changes.

However, what happens in the middle? We reach middle age between the ages of 37 and 50 (or sometimes 40 to 60). Middle-aged crises are often the subject of jokes, movies, and ridicule, but in reality, it is a time when we require support to reassess our lives. This period could be an opportunity to utilise our wisdom and experience to flourish and transform.

This transition topic leads us to the importance of connection. To navigate this change, we need time and stronger connections. We need to connect with ourselves, our needs, and the people around us, especially those who have gone through similar experiences. However, the system does not always give us the time to process our thoughts and feelings. Imagine being 40 years old, with almost grown children and a successful (hopefully) career, but suddenly experiencing doubts, frustration and a sense of resignation.

Now, imagine someone allowing you to take a sabbatical from life. A month, three months or even six months to step away from the hustle and to focus on yourself and your needs, to figure out what's next, what lies ahead.

Imagine being part of a community where people from different generations and backgrounds come together to listen, guide, and support one another. Wouldn't that be comforting?

That's why Klaudia wants to start organising events called "Generations Over Dinner," "Generations Over Coffee," or even "Generations in the Forest." If you've listened to the end of this episode and would like to participate in something like this or support this idea, please find Klaudia on Instagram or Facebook (Klaudia Dziemianko) and message us!

And please, please listen to the podcast episode linked below to let the words of brilliant Chip Conley sink in.

As always, we love you!

Klaudia and Niko

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Mentioned in the episode:

Rich Roll and Chip Conley - Midlife is a chrysalis, not a crisis.

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello, hello beautiful creatures!

Change, choice, compassion - the three C's of this episode.

Change is an unavoidable part of life. On average, a person experiences around 30 significant changes throughout their lifetime, such as changing jobs, getting married, having children, losing loved ones, suffering from major illnesses, and moving homes. However, most people tend to live by a system of order and disorder and then struggle to regain order. In reality, there is no such thing as a permanent state of order. A healthier approach to life is based on resilience, flexibility, and adaptability, which means accepting and adapting to the natural cycle of disorder, reorder, and then back to disorder, and so on. The constant development of our internal state and external environment guarantees that we will never be the same as we were yesterday. Therefore, fighting for something without the right to exist is pointless.

We always have a choice to live and adapt as we want. Have you ever imagined a life where AI takes care of everything, from what you eat and drink to what supplements to take and when to sleep? This part of the episode also discusses the role of AI in our lives in the coming decades, new species of humans, and the unprecedented times we're living in.

We can witness the development of a new human species and even co-exist together, but it all depends on compassion and kindness. We need to root compassion and kindness in our lives, our communities, and the way we speak and treat each other. If we make a shift towards better choices, we can make a positive impact on ourselves, our loved ones, and those to come.

Listen for more!

As always, we love you!

Klaudia & Niko

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Mentioned in the episode:

Rich Roll and Bryan Johnson

"Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You" by Brad Stulberg

If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello, amazing creatures!

As usual, the topic of the episode you're listening to comes out of our daily lives.

We will share some tips and habits that helped us improve your sleep quality, even if you are pressed for time. Additionally, we will explore how mindset and anticipation can impact the perceived quality of sleep.

We follow with the completely new in our life experience. Being able to make your dreams come true and yet choose not to go for it. It's a great feeling when you have the power to make a change in your life but still stay true to your needs and feelings. By communicating with yourself and loved ones, you can choose a different path. In our case, we decided not to buy a new house and move but instead stay where we are and appreciate what we have.

Finally, we end with the motto of this year's episodes (accidentally discovered): for us, the only way to lead a happy life is to stick to what is here and now - the presence. Work hard on yourself and enjoy the person you've created cause this person is only here and now.

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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Mentioned in the episode

Tim Ferris and Andy Galpin - all facts mentioned about sleep and nutrition

If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello, amazing creatures!

In today's episode, we're discussing accepting that, in most cases, we're the masterminds behind our success but also the less favourable results of our actions. Confucious said:

"Although the wise man may be strict on himself, he demands nothing of others. He is satisfied with the way he is and never complains to heaven or blames others for his lot in life. In this lowly position, therefore, he submits to fate. The foolish man, on the other hand, in seeking the good things of this earth, falls into danger.

"When an arrow misses its target, the archer blames himself and not someone else. That is how the wise man behaves."

When good things happen, we often take credit for our successes and feel proud. However, when we face challenges, make mistakes, or encounter failures, we often look for external factors to blame. It's not uncommon for people to use their past experiences or circumstances as an excuse for not taking action or lacking motivation to improve themselves. It's a little trip back to the last episode and discussion about Adler's Psychology. We should accept the possibility of failing and not use our past as an excuse. We should allow ourselves to create a better future that is not defined by what happened to us in the past.

In the second part of the episode, we have a heated discussion about the meaning of vulnerability inspired by the conversation between Adam Grant and Brene Brown (link at the end)

Many people understand vulnerability as an emotional exposure, openly talking about our feelings or admitting to something. So, we're discussing our definition of vulnerability and how psychologists define it. Somewhere there, we stumble upon topics of racism, exclusion and questioning the status quo.

Listen, comment, share.

As always, we love you.

Niko & Klaudia

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Mentioned in the episode

Adam Grant and Brene Brown on the power of knowing what you don't know.

If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Hello, amazing people! Or creatures and plants! 

Today's episode goes deeper into two topics. The first one emerged from the simple question we always ask each other - how you've been recently - and goes on about Adler's psychology.

Klaudia's first book of 2024, "The Courage to Be Disliked" by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi, initially made her want to discard it after 20 pages due to Adler Psychology's denial of trauma. 

However, she promised to explore beyond her interests and persisted. The book treated Adler Psychology (individual psychology) like a philosophy of life, offering valuable lessons. From this, she has learned and truly believed in concepts of the pursuit of superiority, taking only your own personal tasks, living without reward and punishment of others, courage to be disliked, community feeling and contribution to others. 

The second topic is the Goggins effect, named after Huberman, which refers to changes in the anterior cingulate cortex, a part of our brain responsible for motivation, emotions, and decision-making. Consistent engagement in unpleasant activities leads to the enlargement of this area, which is smaller in obese individuals and more extensive in regular exercisers, athletes, and those consistently doing despised activities. To maintain its effect, one must repeatedly engage in unpleasant activities, and once they start enjoying them, the effect disappears. Additionally, people with a small anterior cingulate cortex lose their will to live. 

We end the episode with Klaudia's emotional story from the sauna. 

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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Mentioned in the episode:

Huberman Lab - David Goggins: How to Build Immense Inner Strength

Modern Wisdom - Master Your Mind & Change Your Brain (4K) - Andrew Huberman

The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer

Untypical: How the World Isn’t Built for Autistic People and What We Should All Do About it by Pete Wharmby

The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change your Life and Achieve Real Happiness by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga

Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Transform Us by Susan Magsamen, Ivy Ross

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

For the last time in 2023: Good morning! Good evening!

This episode is a reflection on the past 12 months. What was 2023 about?

For Klaudia, it was time for relationships, transformation and consistency. Finishing uni and moving to professional life. Finally, the accident in April which changed a lot; it was a blessing in disguise, which formed new habits, changed how she listened to her body and made her understand the meaning of limitations. This gave her a different view of Niko's autism and depression.

For Niko, it was the year of self-awareness and acceptance. He focused on growth as a father, writer and creator. That awareness, acceptance of autistic traits and inflictions and, most of all, building routines helped him to take care of his mental health.

We both learned that you can't control everything, but you can control how you react to what life serves you.

What will 2024 look like? We will see! For now, we wish you a year in which you'll have space and time to be true to yourself, at least in one aspect of your life and be self-aware.

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Good morning! Good evening!

In today's episode, we discuss the difficulties coming with the festive time for many people worldwide. Many people enjoy Christmas and New Year, and it's a beautiful and magical time with warmth, a full house and happiness. Yet, as we look at our own experiences from childhood and how they changed how we perceive this holiday time, it makes us consider other possibilities.

We do not want to take joy away from you. All we want to do is open our eyes to the possibility that the next person you wish a great Christmas might face 10 days with a perpetrator, financial worries, boundaries being pushed to the limits or another year of faking it for the sake of others.

So today, we wish you a festive time, which is all about what you want and need. A time of safety and genuine comfort.

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Good morning! Good evening!

Today's episode goes into two topics, both equally important. The first part is about making amends and accepting that sometimes you might not be forgiven. The second is about setting boundaries and why we even need boundaries.

When you reflect on the actions of your younger self, you will find plenty of things you could do better and plenty of people you've hurt. Not every one undertakes the task of rectifying past mistakes. However, those who do must accept that not everyone will forgive or forget. They have a right to do so; they have their perspective and side of the story, and getting it is a part of your healing journey.

Now, onto boundaries. A hard border like that between North and South Korea is unmistakable. It requires adherence to specific rules. Those are your rigid boundaries, those situations when you instantly know, "No, stop. I'm not ok with this". Similarly, there's the Schengen zone, where boundaries are more flexible, allowing smoother transitions but easier to push, bend and abuse.

The skill of setting healthy boundaries is often misunderstood and associated with egoism and excuses. Why? Because establishing and executing boundaries places you in a position of power, asserting control over what is deemed acceptable. With practice, this skill becomes more refined, and you become more confident in spotting other people's boundaries even when you're still in the Schengen zone.

Listen for more!

As always, we love you!

Niko & Klaudia

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Good morning! Good evening!

We're starting off with the usual week check. What's happening in our lives, and how does that make us feel? Here's work, recent events, and all of those.

This episode moved us to the topic of the 2nd stage of therapy - the overwhelming mess and dirt we dig out - followed by the family dynamic and unique perspectives of each family member. When it comes to therapy, a lot of people go through this moment where all suppressed memories, the things we have disassociated ourselves from to protect our fragile minds, are finally emerging. It's like a massive refurbishment, with dust and dirt covering everything, and cleaning one spot doesn't make the rest of the mess disappear. It's a tough stage for many reasons, but the point is that without digging out everything that stinks, we will let it rot and eat us from the inside. And here comes the thing: What stinks for us might not even exist for our parents, siblings, or other relatives - a different perspective.

The last part is born again from the question. This time we go for: "If there would be one thing you would like to change in your childhood, what would that be?". Here comes a lot of personal stuff from both Niko and Klaudia. It all might sound like a therapy session live during the podcast, but if anyone finds themselves in a similar situation answering the same question, you should know that there's a chance one day you will answer it without regret, resentment, hate and pain. And that's why we do what we do :)

As usual, we love you!

Klaudia & Niko

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258

Good evening, good morning!

This episode is about awareness, accepting your afflictions and fighting old habits. And all of it links with happiness and what we need to do to achieve it.

Arthurs C. Brooks says that the data points towards four areas of our life directly impacting our level of happiness: faith/philosophy, family, friends and meaningful work (actual job or hobbies which have deep meaning to us). Listen to find out if we agree and what happiness means to us.

Niko & Klaudia

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Mentioned in the episode:

Quote by Chris Williamson:

"Ultimately happiness comes down to choosing between the discomfort of becoming aware of your mental afflictions or the discomfort of becoming ruled by them."

Andrew Huberman and Adam Grant - How to Unlock Your Potential, Motivation & Unique Abilities

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If you're struggling with your mental health, please get in touch with your loved ones, GP or mental health professionals.

Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected]

You can call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠0800 689 5652⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you would prefer not to speak but want some mental health support, you could text SHOUT to 85258