Arbitrary Dissonance

During the month of October, when Catholics are preparing to celebrate Satan's Birthday on October 31st, Landover Baptist will be running our 77th annual Hell House. This year, folks are expected to arrive from all 50 states. They will wait for hours in line to visit 12 horrific rooms in a Haunted Cathedral that once served as a demonic house of worship for Catholics in the latter part of this century.

Christianly Attire:
Click Here For an Invaluable True Christian™ Resource on Proper Womenly Attire

We believe that when a person first gets saved, the first thing they should do is buy a suit and a tie. If the individual is a female, then a dress not raised over an inch above the knee is acceptable. Clothing is perhaps the most important thing about being a Christian. If one is not properly clothed and fully representative of what God would want them to appear like... well then, that person is probably not saved. Our motto is "get saved, get to a Christian Clothing store, and get fitted for the kingdom."  A man should dress and act like a man, and a woman should dress and act like a submissive female helpmate. That about sums it up. Anyone who does not conform to the dress code at Landover Baptist will be fined no less than $300.00 a violation. It is a privilege to be a Christian and we believe that it is about time folks started acting like it!

for Audrey

Classic from 2021

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