Archive Panic

Take a trip to the scenic Potter's Bluff, with beautiful beaches, friendly locals and it's quaint small-town feel, you'll never want (or be able) to leave.

Brought to you by the Potter's Bluff tourism board. P.S. pay no attention to the stench of decay. It's just rotting seaweed.

Everybody loves clowns right? Well the good citizens of Crescent Cove might disagree.

Join Ben and Jacob as they run away to the Circus to see the one and only film made by the Chiodo Brothers. Killer Klowns From Outer Space!

Come try Farmer Vincent's smoked meats at the Motel Hello! Made with a secret recipe that's to die for. Oh, and be sure to say "Hi" to that crazy girl Ida. Remember what they say, "It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters!"

Join Ben and Jacob as they run through every movie they've talked about so far and see how they fair against each-other.

What will be our number 1 pick? SPOILERS, it ain't The Ward.

Why did John Carpenter make a bog standard late 2000s horror movie? Does anything in this movie matter? These questions will be asked as the boys check themselves in to The Ward.... Will they ever make it out?

Is there life on Mars? Not for long there isn't!

Join your hosts Ben and Jacob as we look at what is widely considered to be one of John Carpenter's worst movies, Ghosts Of Mars.

"Tell me padre, when you watched this movie, did you get wood?" The boys go on a vampiric desert romp full of guns, crossbows and industrial goths. Is this movie as bad as its reputation? Or is it a fun drinking movie? Lets find out!

Hey Folks, we're Maps to the Stars Ben & Jacob, here to show you the sights of sunny Los Angeles. Marvel at the lengths the beautiful people will go for plastic surgery, take in a game of basketball and avoid some potentially uncomfortable transphobia before you Escape from L.A.

The boys take a trip to Midwich. Famous for its vast fields, breathtaking hillside views and evil, blonde, psychic alien children. Stay a while, you'll not want to leave!

Do you read Sutter Cane?

Join Jacob and Ben as they dive down the Lovecraftian rabbit hole that is the final film in Carpenter's Apocalypse Trilogy.