Send us an email @ [email protected]

Summary

In this episode of Parent Coaches Unleashed, Jessica Anger and Carrie Wiesenfeld explore the themes of enabling versus supporting in parenting, particularly in relation to teens and young adults. They discuss the importance of allowing children to face consequences, the role of emotional support, and the balance between helping and letting go. Through a quiz format, they reflect on their own parenting styles and share insights on how to foster independence in children while still providing guidance.

Am I Enabling or Supporting My Child? 

A reflective self-assessment quiz for parents. 

 1. When my child struggles with a task... 

A. I jump in quickly to help so they don’t get frustrated. 

B. I wait, encourage, and let them try to solve it on their own. 

2. My child forgets their homework...

 A. I deliver it to school to save them from a bad grade.

 B. I let them deal with the consequence and talk about planning better next time. 

3. Daily routines like packing a lunch or tidying up...

 A. I usually do it because it’s faster and easier.

 B. I expect my child to handle it and remind them as needed. 

4. When my child breaks a rule or makes a mistake... 

A. I tend to explain it away or fix the problem for them. 

B. I hold them accountable and guide them to make amends. 

5. My focus when things go wrong is usually...

 A. Keeping my child comfortable and happy.

 B. Helping my child learn from the situation, even if it’s uncomfortable. 

6. If following through on a boundary causes conflict...

 A. I often give in to keep the peace.

 B. I stay consistent, knowing it teaches respect and structure. 

7. When my child is upset... 

A. I try to distract or cheer them up quickly. 

B. I listen, validate their feelings, and help them work through it. 

8. When my child is anxious or sad...

 A. I step in to solve or remove the source of stress.

 B. I guide them in coping and problem-solving strategies. 

9. When my child faces a challenge... 

A. I lower the expectations to help them succeed easily. 

B. I support them through the challenge while keeping expectations realistic but high. 

10. I focus on...

 A. Avoiding frustration or failure for my child.

 B. Teaching that frustration and failure are part of learning

11. When I help my child, it’s usually because... 

A. I can’t stand to see them struggle. 

B. I believe small struggles build confidence and skills. 

12. If I stopped helping in a certain way...

 A. I worry they’d fall apart.

 B. I think they’d figure it out with time and effort. 

Scoring: 

• For every A, give yourself 1 point. 

• For every B, give yourself 2 points. 

Results: 

20–24 points → ■ Supportive: You’re fostering independence, resilience, and accountability. 14–19 points → ■■ Balanced but Growing: You offer good support but may sometimes overstep to protect your child. 

12–13 points or below → ■ Enabling Tendencies: Try stepping back to help your child develop confidence through experience. 

 

🔗 Connect with Jessica Anger and Carrie Wiesenfeld:
Instagram | [email protected]
Soaring Hawk Life Coaching | Ocean Waves Parenting