In this episode, I explore a concept that immediately stopped me in my tracks: the otrovert.

I first encountered this idea when my wife shared an article with me and said, “This feels like you.” The article introduced the term otrovert—someone who isn’t quite an introvert or an extrovert, but a person who can enjoy people deeply while still feeling fundamentally outside of groups.

That moment sent me down a rabbit hole. I bought the Kindle edition of The Gift of Not Belonging by Rami Kaminsky, read it in a weekend, and then bought the hardcover because I knew this was a concept I wanted to stay with and think alongside my clinical work, my own life, and this podcast.

In this episode, I slow things down and really unpack what Kaminsky means by the otrovert:

– what it explains about personality and belonging

– how it differs from introversion, social anxiety, or misanthropy

– the quiet pain of being “other” in a joiner-oriented culture

– and the unexpected gifts that can come from not being pulled toward group identity

I also spend time carefully exploring how the idea of the otrovert might have a Venn diagram relationship with autism—without collapsing personality into diagnosis or difference into disorder.

This is an episode for anyone who has felt socially capable but never quite drawn to belonging, who prefers depth over groups, or who has always lived slightly to the side of the herd and wondered why.

Sometimes the right word doesn’t box us in.

Sometimes it gives us room to breathe.