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A uniform shouldn’t cost a parent their child. We sit down with retired Army officer, attorney, and parent advocate Erhan Bettistani to unpack how military service collides with family court—and why a little-known administrative process, the Family Advocacy Program’s Incident Determination Committee (FAP IDC), can tilt custody decisions without basic due process. Erhan brings research published in Family Court Review and Military Law Review, plus firsthand stories from Warrior Family Advocacy, to show how “substantiated” findings spill into civilian courts, inflame stress, and even factor into veteran suicide risk.

Across an hour, we trace four forces that often work against service members: media narratives of extremes, the stigma of deployments and constant PCS moves, assumptions around PTSD and mental health, and the shadow-court mechanics of FAP IDC. We compare FAP procedures to the old Title IX campus model—informal, opaque, and vulnerable to error—and highlight reforms that state courts and the Department of Education have already embraced: clear notice, access to the evidence file, counsel in the room, cross-examination, written findings, and recorded hearings. The takeaway is stark but hopeful: the Department of Defense can integrate these protections now, without waiting on Congress, and still support victims with clinical care while improving fairness for all parties.

We also get practical. If you’re navigating divorce or custody as a military parent, you’ll hear strategies for documenting stability, addressing PTSD stigma, planning around deployments, and securing counsel early in the right jurisdiction. Erhan explains how Warrior Family Advocacy funds initial attorney consults and offers grounded guidance so you can breathe, plan, and protect your bond with your child. Abuse must be taken seriously—and so must process. Better rules mean better outcomes for families, for justice, and for the mental health of those who serve.

If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a military family, and leave a review with your biggest question about fixing FAP. Your voice helps push the right reforms forward.

Resources & Links:
 • 🌐 Warrior Family Advocacy (WFA): https://www.warriorfamilyadvocacy.com/
 • 👥 Connect with S.O.S.

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