Art Creativity & Wellbeing

Understanding our own feelings is the work of childhood – but sometimes this important work is not completed when it should be, and that's bad for so many reasons. Today we look at what can go wrong, and talk about 3 ways to help kids understand their own feelings!
This Just You and Me episode functions as the second of two chapter studies of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child.
Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/083 to listen and get access to key links, including to your FREE guide outlining the bonus fourth way to help our kids understand their own feelings!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Do you wish your mornings could be a little bit less stressful? It can be really hard to get out the door with young kids, and that was Marla's situation with her kindergartner, Gracie.

Recently Marla wrote with the following questions: "how can I pull her out of the "I will not and you can't make me!" mindset and nudge her back into "if I do this we can all have a good time" mindset? When she has her battle armor on, she will argue with me about everything… she will sometimes yell and sometimes I yell. I try to get to her level and talk about it, but sometimes I'm not sure what to say. We just need to get ready to go. You know?"

For Marla, the situation is a little bit more complicated as Gracie has Down Syndrome. But I was so happy that we could record our coaching call – EVERY young child gets that battle armor sometimes!

Today I'm thrilled to bring you my parent coaching call with Marla. Like you, she is a parent who loves her child fiercely and and yet also struggles with the day-to-day issues that every child can bring up. When I checked in with Marla recently she had really great news about streamlining their busy mornings, and you'll hear about that towards the end of this episode.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/082 to check out Marla's beautiful schedule board, created for Gracie based on the advice I was able to share, and also for key links to today's episode!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

About three weeks ago, my father required brain surgery to fix a subdural hematoma that he sustained while skiing two months previously. My husband Ben held the fort here at home while I flew out to be with my folks; today I'm sharing what I learned during the ten days I spent with them. (Dad is doing very well and on the mend.)
This episode comes in three parts: first, I share about what I learned during the ten days I spent with Mom and Dad surrounding Dad's surgery.
Next, we are rebroadcasting the father's day bonus episode from June 2015, my conversation with my Dad; finally, we are rebroadcasting the mother's day bonus episode from May 2015, my conversation with my Mom (my favorite part: when she describes her Stuffed Zucchini Theory of parenting young children :-)
Today's episode is unusual, and not what I was planning at all – sometimes life intervenes, and that's just, well, life. I bring it to you in hopes you can learn something from my experience. I hope it resonates with you, dear listener, and helps you remember how important family bonds are.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I share possibly my all-time favorite ninja tactic for parents! This is the one to bring out when you are ready to go and have a meltdown of your own.

Instead of doing that… Do this: use the First/Then ninja tactic to make transitioning your child from what he wants to do to what you need him to do easily understandable – and a lot smoother!

Today's episode is the first of two chapter studies, where we focus on one chapter of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child.

I hope you get a lot out of this study of Chapter 5: Use First/Then, a tool I used all the time to keep sane when my boys were small.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/080 to listen, and click here  or go to weturnedoutokay.com/episode-80-first-then to download your FREE guide, all about how to create a First/Then chart to bring out when you need a concrete tool to help you help your child!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

In this Your Child Explained episode, we consider what helping others looks like from inside our kid's head!

This past Tuesday, I spoke with a mentor of mine, a man who shaped my thinking on how helping others makes us happier and builds a better world. Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/078 to listen to my conversation with No Impact Man Colin Beavan.

Today, we riff on that conversation to discuss why it's important to teach our kids to help others. Plus I get to read from one of my favorite books, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee!

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com for key links and to listen.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today's guest Colin Beavan appeared on The Colbert Report, The Today Show, and many other talk shows when he first started on a quest to live a good life while limiting the amount of Earth's resources he and his family used, a year-long journey documented in his No Impact Man blog, book, and later documentary.

If you've ever felt unsure of how to approach finding happiness, if you've ever worried about the condition of the world we are leaving for our children, if you - like me - are unclear on the definition of the word agency and how it relates to your life, you are going to love today's's episode.

Colin has a new book out, How to Be Alive, a guide to finding happiness while advocating for our world, our communities, and our families. My favorite section – dog-eared and with my written notes all over the place – is called Who to Parent, and we have a great conversation in today's episode about what those words really mean.

We also talk about how Colin and his family do not have chickens; I learn the definition of the word "agency;" and Colin helps you figure out how to surmount the challenges you may be facing in your life as a parent.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/078 to listen and for key links in this episode!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today's episode centers on a part of every human's innate personality: the trait of introversion or extroversion. (Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/074 to listen to part one, about parenting introverts – today is about parenting extroverts.)

Where are you happiest – among people, in a noisy, large group, or quietly, in solitude or hanging with just a few people? Does one of the above situations drain you, while the other seems absolutely perfect?

When you think about your young child – does she prefer noisy, loud fun, or is she more quiet and contemplative? Does he get his energy from the same place as you?

Everyone falls somewhere on this introvert/extrovert scale, and figuring out where we fall – and, where our children fall – on the scale can mean coexisting more peacefully and enjoyably with our kids.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/077 for key links from this episode!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

When I interviewed Erik Wagter for episode 75, Tuesday's guest episode, I'd just finished reading an article about a man named Matthias Buchinger, who despite having no hands or feet, despite missing parts of his legs, danced, performed magic in front of large audiences and heads of state, created amazing art, married four times and was the dad of fourteen children.

My conversation with Erik, which centered on fostering a great relationship with our children, and largely on Erik and his family's relationship with their autistic son, seemed to me to relate an awful lot to this article about Matthias (click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/075 to listen).

Author Beverly Beckham shares about her grandchild, born with Down's syndrome, and how the vast majority of their friends and family were "full of sorrow and sighs." Nearly everyone's expectations for this new life was that it would be compromised, not a full life – and Beverly eloquently writes about all that Matthias accomplished, relating it to our expectations for our children and how these expectations can shape their lives.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/076 to listen, and for key links from today's episode!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

I knew my conversation with today's guest, a trainer of educators and social workers, would help you become skilled at resolving conflicts in your home. What I didn't expect – and was so joyfully surprised about – was how forthcoming this father of two would be in sharing his family's story of helping their oldest son, diagnosed with autism at a very young age, connect with his family in a meaningful way.

Erik Wagter and his wife Sally took son Tim's education and well-being into their hands, choosing to homeschool starting from when Tim was in primary school. I had goosebumps as Erik share the rewards of all their hard work (and, the hard work itself.)

Whether you have a child with a special need or not, you're going to love this episode. Erik shares his family's terrific story, and how you can resolve conflicts and have a better relationship with your young child.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/075 to listen, and for the key links Erik shares in today's's episode!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today's episode centers on a part of every human's innate personality: the trait of introversion or extroversion. (Today, we focus on the parenting of introverts; coming up in episode 77 – the next Just You And Me episode – we dive into parenting extroverts.)

Where are you happiest – among people, in a noisy, large group, or quietly, in solitude or hanging with just a few people? Does one of the above situations drain you, while the other seems absolutely perfect?

When you think about your young child – does she prefer noisy, loud fun, or is she more quiet and contemplative? Does he get his energy from the same place as you?

Everyone falls somewhere on this introvert/extrovert scale, and figuring out where we fall – and, where our children fall – on the scale can mean coexisting more peacefully and enjoyably with our kids.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/074 for key links from this episode!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe