We’ve all got a story to tell about ourselves. 

And whether your story is negative, positive, or a little bit of both is completely up to you. 

If you’re thinking: “Well, somewhat… But so much of what has happened to me has been out of my control!”...then let’s break this down a bit more. 

Yes, of course you can’t control everything that’s happened to you. We especially tend to think of this lack of control when it comes to the bad or stressful experiences in life. 

The abuse. 

The betrayal.

The job loss.

The deaths. 

The storm. 

And on, and on, and on. 

Yes, life happens to us. BUT, at the risk of sounding totally cliched, I want to remind you that YOUR REACTION to events in your life is most definitely within your control. Your reactions MATTER...So much!

And how do we get to a place where we can actually control our reactions?

It all starts with our mindset.

The thoughts we have influence the emotions we feel and the behaviors (or reactions) that result. 

When we continually think in negative terms, always assuming the worst, or maybe even hoping for the best but still expecting the other shoe to drop (so to speak)....... This can become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I spent the last three episodes of the Art That Overcomes podcast talking about the concept of manifesting the life we want. I believe that we can, to a large extent, create the life that we desire for ourselves. But this doesn’t just work when we’re thinking about creating our desired reality (the good stuff that’s on our vision board). 

The concept of manifestation also applies to some of the negative repercussions that happen after difficult, stressful, or traumatic events in our lives. 

Let me be clear that I do NOT think you are responsible for the trauma and abuse you have endured. I do NOT believe that if something bad happens in your life (like a tornado taking out your house, a family member dying, or any other loss or hardship) that you somehow deserve it or you brought it on due to your negative thinking. 

HOWEVER, some people choose to frame their suffering as an inevitable and inherent part of WHO THEY ARE. 

Some people (and yes I can acknowledge that I’ve been in this place too) can get so used to suffering, hardship, and abuse that they just expect it and therefore actually integrate this kind of experience into their sense of self. 

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Hey, Overcomer… welcome back to this special little podcast series called What Are Your Manifesting? Today I’m excited to bring you the final part, episode 3 of the series. If you haven’t listened to parts 1 and 2 yet, I suggest you scroll down and click play on those episodes first. Then I’ll still be here when you get back. 

One of the words that came up for me as I was doing the art and writing exercise suggested in last week’s episode was NEW.

As a refresher, I was drawing an image to represent how I want my life to feel.

If I woke up tomorrow, everything was different, and my stressors had disappeared,  what would I see? What would be the first sign? How would I feel? 

And I keep coming back to the word, NEW.

The entire foundation for my Redefined coaching program and everything that I do here online and on the podcast to help women who are overcoming the lasting effects of narcissistic abuse is centered on exploring the concept of identity. I also talk a lot about this in my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse. 

In my experience both personally and professionally, after a certain point it really doesn’t matter how much therapy, coaching, or other personal development things we’ve done if we don’t know who we are, at our core....

(tune in to hear more!)

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Last week on Art That Overcomes, I encouraged you to consider whether you are operating out of an “unhealed” energy, or a “healed” energy.

I always emphasize that our healing journey is endless, so there’s no one, perfect endpoint or destination to this journey that we’re all striving for… but that said, it’s ideal to actually be moving along on that journey at any given time…or most of the time, anyway…at least moving...not stuck.

Movement means we’re living out of this healed or healing energy.

In contrast, operating from the “unhealed” place of being stuck in a victim mindset, hyper focused on your abuser’s behaviors, and/or constantly reading or watching YouTube videos about trauma, abuse, and narcissism will all just keep you stagnant… not actually moving toward your dreams and goals.

Heck, you may not even be able to identify a goal…

When I talk with clients and potential clients about their goals for the future, some people have a really good idea of what they’re moving towards.

Whether their dream is very tangible and practical, such as living in a certain place, having a certain type of relationship or job, etc., or whether it’s pretty simple and elusive, like they just want to feel “peace”, or “rest”, or “confidence”.... Either way, it’s a goal. A dream.

Something that they can identify they’d like to have or achieve in their life. 

But it’s not uncommon for others to tell me that they have no idea what their goal is. It’s like their mind is totally blank when it comes to dreaming about a future of their choosing.

If this is you (or if you’ve been there before), it makes sense...

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Welcome to episode one of a three part series that I am calling, What are You Manifesting?

Now, the term “manifestation” can mean different things to different people. For the purpose of this series, what I mean by this question is basically, “what are you creating in your life?”.

I’ll talk more about my thoughts on manifestation in part two. But today, let’s lay a little more groundwork first…

Sometimes, in our journeys of healing from narcissistic abuse, or whatever other trauma we’ve experienced, we unintentionally keep ourselves stuck in the beginning stage of healing.

One way we do this is to stay in what I call the “information gathering phase”.

Are you an information gatherer?

I was definitely in this phase for a long time after leaving an abusive relationship. The tricky part is that being an information gatherer is really beneficial, in the beginning....

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠⁠

The power of art to act as a mirror for the artist (a way to reflect back the artist’s thoughts, emotions, and sense of self) is not a concept unique to the field of art therapy.

If you’ve ever created art, in any discipline (music, dance, theater, writing, or visual art) then you likely know what I’m talking about. There’s something about engaging in a creative project that forces you to look at yourself, your identity, and even your place in the world. 

And this requires a lot of bravery. It requires the courage to look at yourself in a raw and honest way. It’s not for the faint of heart!

But I think you’ll find that the most powerful and impactful art out there in the world was created with this type of courage and raw vulnerability....

...creative and artistic expressions connect us to each other. AND, they connect us to ourselves. Art has the power to mirror ourselves back to us, and when shown to others, has the power to mirror others too. 

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠⁠⁠⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠

Our brains naturally want to keep us in survival mode, ready for the next threat around the corner….just in case. It’s a trauma response that is designed to help us when there's an imminent threat to our safety. But it does not serve us well once we’re safe from the abuse and don’t have an immediate reason to stay on high alert all the time. 

In order to heal, we need to live life in between therapy sessions, reflect on how far we’ve come (even if it’s only an inch and you want to reach one mile), and save the trauma memories for certain special occasions only (like therapy, for example). Last week I talked about working toward a place in our healing where we feel safe returning home to ourselves…. Where we feel at home with ourselves. 

From my perspective as a spiritual person and a Christian, I also believe it’s important to remember that God is our victor (he’s the ultimate hero) and he’s carrying us through to victory over our suffering and pain.

We are our own heroes too, don’t get me wrong! But I believe that my God, my Creator, is ultimately the one sustaining me. The truth is I wouldn’t be where I am today without God. My faith is integral to how I healed using this art and writing process that I teach.

That’s why I’ve worked some of this into my Redefined Process coaching program…an opportunity to invite God’s spirit into our art and writing process, so we can hear insight from his spirit within us, not only from our subconscious mind. I feel like if I’m not honest in sharing about my faith in this context, then I’m not only failing to give you my full story, but I’m failing to give you all the tools that I’ve found to be successful. 

I remember early on in my journey of breaking away from narcissistic abuse, when I was still contemplating how to leave an abusive relationship....

(tune into hear more!)

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠⁠⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠

I believe that we were all created to thrive. We were designed for it. You have a purpose here on this earth, whether you know it or not. 

Period.

You were created for so much more than your trauma story. 

SO. MUCH. MORE.

And it’s okay to feel that…to really own it. It’s not arrogant or rude or self absorbed or self-righteous to say, “I have value! I have worth! I have a purpose!” and “I was created and designed intentionally by my God to be exactly who I am, right now.” 

There’s NOTHING wrong with you.

There’s nothing WRONG with you.

There’s nothing wrong with YOU.

Now, of course no one is perfect, and I’m not claiming that you are. I’m certainly not perfect either. We all have room to grow and advance and evolve into more and more of who we were created to be. 

But that doesn’t have to mean that you are wrong or bad right now, as you are. You are simply a version of you. There have been many past versions, and there will hopefully be many more to come. And it’s up to YOU whether those future versions of yourself are growing and growing, and healing and healing some more…and becoming more and more free and self expressed. 

You shouldn’t feel any guilt if you’re kinda stuck right now…. Still trying to figure out how to get to the next version. Let me say that again…. You shouldn’t feel guilty. Just because it’s up to you to heal and grow doesn’t mean you need to feel guilt or shame if you think you’re not growing in the way that you should, or not growing and changing fast enough.

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

Here's the link to all the things:

⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠

Hey there, Overcomer. 

I believe that YOU were designed with a purpose, a passion, and a mission all your own.

Yes, YOU. 

I believe this is true because I also believe that you were created by a creative Creator. 

On today's episode, I want to share with you a recording that is available within my Redefined coaching app. This is from a video included in one of four video bundles that I offer to those paying for my monthly Redefined Membership. 

I'm offering it for free to you today on the podcast because I thought it would be a great way to kick off a conversation about the topic of spirituality as it relates to our identity….our sense of self…our sense of purpose and who we are in the world and how we relate to others. 

After the recording, I hop back on in this episode to share some additional thoughts AND the exact art and writing prompts that are included with this recording inside of my Redefined app. 

You were created for so much more than your trauma story.

I've packed a lot of value into this episode, just for you.
I hope you’ll give it a listen.

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram ⁠@jenniferannekramer⁠ or ⁠@art_that_overcomes⁠

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

Here's the link to all the things:

⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

It can be really hard for me to stay present. Like, really hard! My mind is prone to wander and  I could literally spend hours daydreaming and not get bored. I attribute some of this tendency to my introverted, artist brain who would rather live in fantasy and watch the clouds roll by, thinking in detail about all the vacations I want to take, the clothes I’ll wear, how I’ll feel, what art I’ll be making, and who will be with me on my adventures… than actually do anything that others would qualify as “work” or “practical” things, or “adulting”. But honestly a lot of this tendency to daydream is still due to the effects of trauma.

Daydreaming and living in fantasy land is a way that I dissociate. It’s a way that I find myself automatically zoning out in an attempt to seek pleasure. It’s a go-to when I’m tired, restless, anxious, or sick. It feels better than being overwhelmed or feeling guilty because I’ve procrastinated so much. In those moments, I’d rather dream about a beach vacation, or the next big art project, than actually take action to help me achieve that thing in reality. But, if you’ve been around here long enough, or have done any kind of therapy or coaching yourself, then you know that this dissociation ultimately doesn’t serve me very well. And it doesn’t serve you either.

Daydreaming itself can be good, to a certain extent, in the sense of helping me create a vision for the future, and visualizing my future and feeling the feelings of having already achieved those goals can help me get in the energy of who my Future Self will be. But at some point I simply have to be able to return to the present and take action. 

Today, I’m sharing all about my practice of learning to be present, along with a few other important “P” words… pause, persistence, and patience.

GIVEAWAY!

Here's what to do to get a free copy of my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity.

1. Subscribe to this podcast (if you haven't already).

2. Rate this podcast (5 stars is my favorite!)

3. Write a review for this podcast.

4. Take a screenshot of your review and email the photo to me at [email protected]. Or send it to me in a DM on Instagram @jenniferannekramer or @art_that_overcomes

5. Then I'll respond to get your mailing address and send your book!

Here's the link to all the things:

https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

Who gets to decide what real art is…and who the real artists are? And if a piece of artwork is good or not? 

Do you have to exhibit artwork for others to see? Do you have to perform on a stage or on video?

Today I’m sharing my two cents on this topic.

Here's the link to all the things!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Go here to view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, order "The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse", or to grab the Intro and Chapter 1 for free :)