Art That Overcomes

What does it mean to have strength?

Of course, one definition of “strong” refers to physical strength - “having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks”, or “exerting great force.” 

People also use the term “inner strength” when referencing an individual’s ability to overcome hardship and have resilience. Corresponding definitions for this type of “strong” could be - “not easily disturbed, upset, or affected” or perhaps “showing determination, self-control, and good judgment”. 

Today’s mantra is: I AM STRONG. 

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On last week’s episode, we started exploring the concept of trust. I talked about how this is a very difficult exploration, and that’s why we’ve eased into it. 

For those who have been in any kind of abusive relationship, trust has been broken. Trust has been severed. It has been torn up into tiny pieces and stomped on, burned, or buried.

We have possibly trusted others too readily in the past, and not trusted ourselves enough. Now we don’t know who to trust, and our identity was so enmeshed with the abuser that even though we want to trust ourselves again (our intuition, knowledge, skill), we are not sure how to get there from here. 

Put simply – trust is hard. So. Hard. And it deserves our attention. 

Today’s mantra is: I trust myself and I trust my inner voice.

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Today, we are talking about TRUST. I believe that cultivating a sense of trust in ourselves, our Creator or higher power, and in others is a key part of getting us unstuck.

Similar to last week’s mantra (I am safe and I am protected), this week’s mantra has two parts:

I trust the process, and I trust my Creator’s voice within me. 

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The concept of “safety” is complex and multifaceted. 

Once you’ve experienced trauma, your brain and body can stay hypervigilant and on guard, continually telling you the story that you are not safe. 

Your brain wants you to stay alert and aware of the potential for future danger. This is your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe. 

But, what happens when we stay in this mode, day after day, year after year, even once there is no imminent threat to our wellbeing? Or what if the unsafe situations that we *do* face, are not life threatening in nature?

The short answer is that it diminishes our quality of life, doesn’t it? 

It can feel like our bodies are trapped in an endless loop of fear. It doesn’t FEEL like our bodies are trying to keep us safe…it feels horrendous. It feels like our body’s trauma response is keeping us stuck in the trauma. 

This week on the Art That Overcomes podcast we are exploring the mantra:

 I am safe and I am protected.

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, schedule a FREE 15-minute Coaching Call, order Jennifer's book, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

In the introduction to the second session of my coaching program, The Redefined Process, I say:

“In order to allow for change to enter our lives, I believe we need to create some emotional and mental space. Just as a room in our house can become cluttered with junk, our brains get cluttered too. We need to clear that stuff out! Consistently! We need to consciously create the mental and emotional space to connect with our minds, bodies, and spirits on a regular basis.” 

We need to actually create space in our lives to allow for change to come in. 

Today’s mantra is: I am creating space for change. Say it with me: I am creating space for change.

I want to ask you, Overcomer: How can you give yourself the space to really daydream and plan for how you want your life to be? For what changes you want to see? And how can you take action from here to truly clear out what needs to be eliminated in order to create those new things…that change?

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, schedule a FREE 15-minute Coaching Call, order Jennifer's book, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

After surviving narcissistic abuse, we tend to think we’re aware of our feelings, and that we’ve learned to express those feelings in a way that helps us. 

However, reality can be quite the opposite. Sometimes we use our thinking brain to rationalize our way out of feeling, and often we haven’t even stopped to truly experience our emotions. They get shoved to the side, and we continually tell our brains and bodies emotions don’t matter. We begin to wonder why we’re exhausted, negative, impulsive, and easily pushed to anger. 

Sound familiar?

How can you change this? What do you need to open yourself up to today?

As for me...I am open to the process. 

I am open to healing, to the unknown, to exploring my emotions, to practicing showing up as myself, unapologetically. I am open to expressing myself through use of art materials, I am open to guidance from others… I am open to challenging myself to take action. 

Say it with me: I am open to the process. 

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, schedule a FREE 15-minute Coaching Call, order Jennifer's book, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you beating yourself up over things that are in the past, or that weren’t even yours to take responsibility for in the first place?

After surviving narcissistic abuse, it can be difficult to focus on the positive. We can’t quite envision a better future. Or, we’re not willing to do the work to set those goals. 

Our brains like patterns, and it’s easier to let ourselves stay stuck in the negative, rather than give ourselves permission to move forward. 

Today’s recording is all about giving ourselves that permission to get back up and try again. Keep going… Keep setting goals… Keep doing the hard work to become the Future You that you choose. 

Today you’ll hear me mention some mantras that I want you to consider:

I accept the choices I have made, and the situation I am in.

I forgive myself for past mistakes. 

I have the power to shape the life I choose from this moment forward.

I am allowed to get back up and try again. 

After listening to my expanded explanation of these mantras, I encourage you to choose one or two that resonate most, and say them to yourself (out loud!) in the mirror daily. Yes, it will feel weird at first. It will feel uncomfortable. But we’ve got to be willing to work through those emotions in order to take any meaningful action toward healing. 

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, schedule a FREE 15-minute Coaching Call, order Jennifer's book, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

I often share that the number one key to healing from narcissistic abuse is to stop reading about narcissism. While it’s crucial in the beginning of our recovery to learn all the things we can about the trauma we’ve been through… to piece together what the heck just happened to us?... If we keep up with this constant information gathering long term, it only keeps us stuck. True growth and healing is found in turning our attention away from the abuser and shifting attention to ourselves instead. We have to reconnect with and redefine our identities apart from the abusive narcissist. This takes time, and most importantly…practice. It takes action! 

If this resonates with you and you’re truly ready to shift out of this information gathering phase, with so much of your attention on the narcissist, then I invite you to check out my Redefined coaching app, which includes my signature program, the Redefined Process. It’s all about helping you connect with YOU. If you’re not quite sure if you’re ready for that yet, then I suggest you read my book, The Uncommon Guide to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity. It’s a short, easy read, where I share pieces of my own story, along with knowledge from my training as an art therapist, and practical art and writing exercises too. You can find the link to buy the book, as well as links to check out the Redefined app all at the link in the podcast description. 

Today’s episode is a little different than usual. Instead of sharing about my artmaking practice, followed by an imagined message from your Future Self, I want to share a guided meditation with you. I wrote this with the intention of helping you connect with YOUR Future Self. I want you to spend these next few minutes focusing on YOU…not the narcissist. 

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Go here to view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, order "The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse", or to grab the Intro and Chapter 1 for free :)

Here’s a quote from my new book:

“The thing that felt risky. The thing that felt scary. The decision that some friends would have cautioned me not to make. That choice was a crucial turning point for the better. It wasn’t selfish or foolish. It was necessary.”

You can do hard things, Overcomer. Today we are talking about why you *need* to do hard things, and how to get started. 

And I’ll give you an example of how a painting I’m working on right now has taught me this, too.

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Go here to view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, order "The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse", or to grab the Intro and Chapter 1 for free :)

Today I’m answering a question from a member of my free Facebook group, Women Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse. 

The question is:

How do you overcome the insecurities they leave you with? I know loving yourself is key, but will I ever have that confidence again?

I thought this was a great question because this feeling of insecurity and lack of confidence is so common to us as Survivors or Overcomers of narcissistic abuse. This is a multi-faceted question, and I have four different thoughts or topics to address it, but really they are all very related to one another. 

I’ll think you’ll find this super practical and helpful!

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Here's the link to all the things!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Go here to view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, order "The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse", or to grab the Intro and Chapter 1 for free :)