Art That Overcomes

We tend to face the most internal resistance when it comes to the very activities that are going to help us most in our healing. 

This is a subconscious way that our brains try to self-sabotage our healing, because on some level it feels safer to stay stuck in the place we are now. The unknown is scary, and as a survival mechanism, our brains want to protect us and keep us planted in our familiar habits, emotions, behaviors, and ways of reacting to stress.

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Here's the link to all the things!

⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠⁠

Go here to view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, pre-order "The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse", or to grab the Intro and Chapter 1 for free :)

In some ways, I’m a very consistent person. I like to have a basic routine, I’m loyal to those who are close to me, and I think I’m pretty dependable. But in other ways, I struggle with consistency. Namely, when it comes to daily or weekly practices that help me take care of myself. Self-care. It’s a struggle. I’m guessing you can relate to this. 

Most humans find it hard, at least in certain seasons of their life, to prioritize themselves in ways that matter. We’re not talking about hitting the snooze button so you can get a few extra ZZZ’s, or neglecting household chores and important relationships so you can watch Netflix in the name of self-care.

I’m talking about the things that are really going to move the needle forward for you…

Real, quality sleep. Daily journaling. Prayer. Meditation. Daily movement. Spiritual practices. Spending quality time with loved ones. Going to therapy. Creating art. Spending time in nature. Reading a personal development book. Stopping to stretch and breathe in the middle of your work day. 

I think that getting into a routine of consistent self-care can be especially difficult for Overcomers of narcissistic abuse. This is because the abusive individuals in our lives have literally trained us to put ourselves last. As strange as it may seem to explain to someone who doesn’t understand this type of abuse, it actually feels very odd, uncomfortable, and even unsafe to prioritize ourselves. 

So, how do we get over this? How do we improve the consistency and quality of our self-care routines? 

There’s no easy answer, but it is simple. Just start doing something. And if it works for you, keep doing it. Today I’m sharing one self-care practice that I did really successfully for a long time, then fell off a bit, and I’ll explain where I am with it now. 

Here's the link to all the things!

⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

Go here to view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, pre-order "The Uncommon Guide to Healing From Narcissistic Abuse", or to grab the Intro and Chapter 1 for free :)

Yesterday was my birthday! I turned 43, and I couldn’t be happier with where my life is heading. No, everything isn’t perfect (far from it!) and I haven’t even achieved all that I wanted to this year. I’ve had many setbacks and surprises. But I’ve also experienced so much goodness, and I’m able to see how even the perceived setbacks are actually working for me in really big ways. 

One of the massive goals that I *have* accomplished is writing a book! You may have heard me mention this on a previous podcast episode or seen it on social media or in an email. Today I’m going to let you know all about how you can get your hands on a copy of The Uncommon Guide to Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: How I Used Art to Break the Pattern and Redefine My Identity. And, I want to share with you what this journey of tackling such a big new project has been like for me, and 3 important lessons I’ve learned along the way. 

My hope is that you can apply these lessons to whatever big project, challenge, or goal that YOU are facing right now. 

When you’re in survival mode right after leaving an abusive relationship, your priorities are clear. Safety. Stability. And that’s about it. 

But after a while, that isn’t enough to keep us going. It’s important to consistently stop and assess our priorities at each stage of life. 

Today I’m going to give you a practical exercise to help you stop and reflect on what your life is telling you that it needs more of…. Let’s assess what your body, mind, heart, and spirit need in this particular season of healing. 

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, or grab the Introduction and Chapter 1 of Jennifer's new book for FREE, go here: ⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

There’s a question that I hear a lot in the personal development space: “Did it happen to you or did it happen for you?” It’s a question to ask yourself, intended to help you get out of a victim mindset and see the bigger picture. It’s intended to help us reframe the way we view our abuse, trauma, or other life struggles, and to help us look for the positives we can pull out of the experience. I encourage you to ask yourself, “Did the narcissistic abuse only happen TO me? Or is there something…anything… about my story of abuse that can be used to work FOR me? Is there anything I’ve learned from the experience? Am I now better able to relate to and help others who have suffered in similar ways?” 

I want to be careful with how I approach this topic, Overcomer. Because, I never want to minimize your abuse or encourage you to simply look on the bright side and get over it. Rather, my intention with this episode is to help you find your power. I want to empower you to dig out some shred of good from a big heap of bad. We cannot go back and change the past, but we are in charge of how we choose to frame it, and what story we tell ourselves next. 

Have you ever created a “vision board”? Maybe it was something you did towards the end of the calendar year, in preparation for your New Year's resolution… sort of a visual representation of what you hoped to accomplish in the new year. Well, I have a love/hate relationship with new year's resolutions, and also with the concept of vision boards… no matter what time of year you create them. 

On one hand, I absolutely love the idea of setting goals, getting specific about them, envisioning our Future Self, and feeling all the feelings of already having accomplished our goals. I think that choosing concrete images to create a visual representation of our goals and dreams is impactful because it helps us evoke those emotions, rather than just focusing on a task to complete. We really have to be able to get into that feeling state in order to believe it’s possible for us to reach the goal. 

And, I just like making stuff! So vision boards can be fun. 

But on the other hand, I think that vision boards can be limiting because if they ONLY keep us focused on a perfect, romanticized version of the future we envision for ourselves, then that goal is ultimately going to feel unrealistic and we may find ourselves frustrated on our journey to get to this goal that seems too perfect to actually be true. 

So where’s the answer? Is there a happy medium here? A way to make vision boards really work for us? That’s what I want to explore today.

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To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, or grab the Introduction and Chapter 1 of Jennifer's new book for FREE, go here: ⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

Hey, Overcomer! Do you know what your top values are? For me, honesty and authenticity are definitely in my top five. I consider these two concepts to be one in the same. In my opinion, striving to live as authentically as possible, as true to yourself as possible, is a matter of honesty. Much of this comes naturally to me. I find it very hard to lie. I’m not saying I’ve never told a lie before, but it’s just not something that is generally very tempting for me to do, and it never has been. Living truthfully is important to me. Speaking my truth, telling my story, and sharing my opinion are important. Being unapologetically myself is important. I don’t like pretending to go along with something just to make others feel more comfortable, because that would feel inauthentic or dishonest to me. I’d rather speak my mind, gently when needed… and apologize later if I have to. 

All that said, you’ll understand why it has been a surprise to me during my healing journey to discover that I have indeed been through phases where I wasn’t living as authentically as I thought I was. And even just recently, I had a big ‘aha’ moment around this topic. 

You see, something I’ve started to contemplate is the way in which we choose to live authentically, or share our truth with others. As I just said, I’d rather speak my mind at all costs, even if it means apologizing later in instances where it comes across as harsh. But, I think I’m starting to discover a better way….an even truer way… to be authentically me.

The difference is that one way of being authentically “Me” screams: “This is who I am! Get used to it!”. And the other, newer way that I’ve gradually been shifting into for a while has more of a sense of quiet confidence and ease. 

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, or grave the Introduction and Chapter 1 of Jennifer's new book for FREE, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

This week marks one full year since the Art That Overcomes podcast first aired! I can’t quite believe that every single week for the past year, I have posted an episode (and some weeks, even two episodes). I’ve just been putting one foot in front of the other, one committed action and then another committed action, until one day I woke up and realized I’d created 60 episodes. 

I’m curious… are there things you’ve accomplished in life that you now look back on and think, “Wow, how did I get here? I actually did all that?”. Sometimes we don’t stop to give ourselves credit and celebrate our accomplishments because we may not even notice how far we’ve come. And that’s because anything we achieve in life is done so in small increments....small steps. 

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Have you checked in with yourself today? Have you taken just a few moments to consider how you’re feeling, both physically and emotionally? Have you assessed if this is how you want to feel or not? And if you don’t like this state, how will you change it?

I’ve been processing a whole lot of emotions lately, and several weeks ago I found myself in a place of overwhelm. I stopped and caught myself in that feeling of anxiety and a general sense that everything was just TOO MUCH to handle. I took a few minutes to feel my feelings and process through it. 

And of course, I did this using my art and responsive writing process. Today, as we return to our regularly structured episodes, after following a bit of a different format for the summer, I want to share with you some of the thoughts I’ve been having around the concept of what it means to be grounded. 

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, schedule a FREE 15-minute Coaching Call, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

I’m an all or nothing kind of person. I don’t like in-betweens, transitions, or lack of control. I want to skip right past the messy middle and get to the good part. 

Sound familiar?

So many of us loath the feeling that we are not finished healing. We get frustrated with the fact that we can understand where we want to be (or where we feel we need to be, or should be), but we just can’t get there yet.

Why?? Why can’t we just will ourselves into what we envision to be our final stage of healing… the place where we feel calm and confident and everything makes sense? 

In today’s recording, I’m answering a question I’d received from a member of my Facebook group, Women Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse: How long does it take to recover from narcissistic abuse?

I think that the very nature of this question reflects that sense of uneasiness with being in the messy middle. 

And I’ll tell you… even though I admit it’s still my default mode to be uncomfortable in this middle place of unfinished-ness… I have certainly learned to relax (to a certain extent) and embrace the journey, confident that as I keep showing up for myself and doing my healing work, I’ll end up where I need to be. 

This journey looks a bit different for everyone, but no matter where you find yourself today, I think you’ll get something out of this conversation.

To view the Art That Overcomes Instagram page, sign up for weekly emails, schedule a FREE 15-minute Coaching Call, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠