Art That Overcomes

These days, we’re all photographers, aren’t we? Armed with a smartphone, tablet, or basic little digital camera, we all have the ability to take some pretty awesome photos. Heck, even back when I had a flip phone, I found myself using the camera feature a lot. And even before that, disposable cameras were so easy to come by, I always had one on hand, to capture both the beautiful and silly moments of life. 

Whether you consider yourself a photographer in any sense, or not, I invite you to listen in today as I share one of the ways I’ve found myself intuitively using my iPhone camera to explore my ever-evolving sense of Self.

.

Whenever I find myself in the midst of an overwhelming trauma reaction…you know…the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn type of response… when I can tell that something deep within me has REALLY been triggered, it always comes back to my inner child. In those situations, there’s some aspect of the trigger that has brought my wounded childhood part to the forefront. I can usually tell this is what’s going on, by the type of behavior that results. Often, for me, I either shrink back and isolate out of insecurity and social anxiety, OR I go into full on fight mode and throw a tantrum…I have a big temper outburst where I feel compelled to yell and slam a door. 

Over the years, my art and writing process has, time and time again, been a place that I can return, to release all the confusing emotions that I’m experiencing and practice what it looks like to nurture and care for the parts that are hurting. 

Today I’m sharing a drawing I did a while back, where I pretty quickly was able to go through this process of identifying my emotions, expressing them, and getting to the root of what they had to tell me. 

.

Hey Overcomer, today I want to share a really simple drawing exercise with you. It’s a way to discover and explore your individual color preferences, and a way for YOU to figure out what that means about your emotions, your personality, where you are on your healing journey, and where you need to go next. I realize the title of this episode might be a little misleading… making it sound like *I* am going to tell you what your color preferences say about you. And, I was intentional in wording it that way. You see, I think that most people, and especially those of us who have survived narcissistic abuse or other forms of abuse and trauma, would really love it if someone would just give us an answer. We long for someone else to take the reins and tell us the secret to fixing ourselves so that we don’t have to suffer anymore. I relate to those feelings so deeply, and I worded the title this way to attract those of you who are in this mindset. I understand that when we are thinking this way, deep down, we struggle with the concept of stepping up and doing the hard work to figure things out for ourselves. We so desperately want to heal, and we want it quick. But, the truth is…that’s now how this healing journey works. We have to put in the work, and we have to show up for ourselves. While it’s normal to slip into this passive, victim-mindset, we aren’t doing ourselves any favors by staying there. That said, I’m here with some tools to help you along the way, if you’re willing to implement them. This isn’t about doing all the hard work of healing on your own, but it IS about learning from others AND taking action from there.  

.

I’ve found that some women like to move right on to dating new people after leaving an abusive relationship, some swear off relationships altogether (with no interest of dating at all), and others fall somewhere in between (choosing to wait a length of time before dating, but with the eventual goal of finding a healthy relationship down the road). 

After leaving my abusive relationship, I definitely fell into the latter category. And, at this point, I’ve dated some, but am currently single. In this episode, I’m going to share the audio from a live video I did a couple of years ago, in my free Facebook group, Women Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse. The purpose of the video was to address the question: How soon is too soon to date after narcissistic abuse? This question came directly from my group members, and I’m guessing that many of you podcast listeners have wondered the same thing. So, I’m excited to be able to share my thoughts on this topic with you today. 

Each one of us has so many different parts that make up who we are… our personality, past trauma, and other memorable moments that shape who we have become. And it’s normal for us to have certain parts of ourselves that we’re not as comfortable with. We may actively try to avoid those parts, or our subconscious mind may be pushing them down for us.

What’s more, as Overcomers of narcissistic abuse, we’ve been actively told by our abusers that certain aspects of our identity, our very sense of self, are wrong, bad, or ugly. That’s a lot for us to unpack as we begin to heal.

Today I’d like to share a drawing I did last year, where I really settled into this idea of embracing whatever parts of myself needed to speak.

The strategic use of color has always been a central component of any form of visual art. And not just for the aesthetic value or visual effect that different colors and color combinations provide. Colors…in different shades, hues, levels of saturation, in different quantities, applied with different textures and gestures, and in different artistic styles… they can all be used to *symbolize* a variety of emotions, human experiences, and abstract concepts. 

One of my favorite pieces of art that I’ve ever created is the series of tattoos that stream from my upper back, all the way down my arms. While I certainly didn’t put the tattoos on my body myself, and I didn’t even create all the drawings for them, my tattoo designs are as much a part of my collection of artistic work as any drawing or painting I’ve created on paper, canvas, or wood… And maybe even more so. 

Today I’m sharing all about the journey of my series of tattoos, and how they are incredibly aligned with the way that I like to create art: always considering process over product. And as a part of that, I’ll be explaining why the strategic use of color has become so meaningful to this ever-evolving piece of art. 

.

.

I’ve often said that within the creative process there is no impulse control required. By which I mean that as long as you’re being safe and not harming yourself or others, the creative artmaking process is one of the few places in life where you can truly be free, let loose, be yourself, and express what you need to express. All without judgment, expectations, or limitations. I believe this is true for any creative expression, whether visual art, writing, drama, dance and movement, or any form of play. And today, as I share the piece of art that first triggered me to think about this concept of “no impulse control required”, I’m going to talk about why I now take this one step further to say that poor impulse control is actually required in this creative, healing process. 

.

You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer⁠

Learning to use our voice, speak our truth, and honestly share our opinions and preferences isn’t something that comes easily for Overcomers of narcissistic abuse. We’ve been taught that our voice doesn’t matter, and then, even after the abuse ends, our brains tend to stay stuck in a subconscious pattern of making ourselves small. If learning to use your voice has been difficult as you’ve transitioned out of an abusive relationship, then you're going to want to listen to this.

.

You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: ⁠https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

As you listen to me list out the four things I’ve learned, I encourage you to reflect on which one sounds the most interesting to you.
Which one stands out? Maybe it’s one that you can relate to…you’ve learned that too!
Maybe it’s something you’ve heard me say before, and hearing it again today is a good reminder to really contemplate how it relates to your life…how you can integrate it into your own healing.

Or, maybe you’ll hear something that is a totally new concept for you, and peaks your interest in that way.
Choose whichever one stands out, and then decide what action you’re going to take from here. Because, healing doesn’t just come from listening…it requires action.
Then stay tuned to the end of the episode for a message from your future self!

​.

.

You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer