Codependency. This is no doubt a word you’ve heard a lot during your recovery from narcissistic abuse, especially if you’re in therapy or coaching of any kind. And we can have a lot of different reactions to this word. Some view codependent traits as extremely toxic, some don’t like this term at all and claim we’re all codependent in one way or another, and some people, like me, feel that the answer is somewhere in between those two extremes. What I’ve discovered in my own healing, is that becoming aware of and growing out of my codependent feelings and behaviors in relationships is a very gradual process. It requires that I extend patience, grace, love, and acceptance to myself, over and over again as I continue to grow. And there are certainly lots of growing pains along the way. But, I believe it’s totally worth it to trudge through all of the difficulties in order to become more strongly rooted in my own identity, a firm foundation from which to attract others into my life who are also rooted in who they are.

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You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

For so many survivors, trauma symptoms linger on for months, years, and even decades after the relationship has ended. My advice today might challenge you, but I promise it is the single most important step I took to move me toward healing. It’s not a popular opinion. It’s not what the most successful narcissistic abuse coaches are teaching. It may be hard for you to hear. And that’s okay. My approach isn’t for everyone, but I’d argue that’s because we’re all at different places in our journey, and my number one tip isn’t for those who are fresh out of the abuse. But if you’ve been free for a while now, you’re going to therapy, attending support groups, starting new hobbies, trying to get a handle on finances, and relationships….and, you still feel anxious and hypervigilant, struggling to trust others and truly feel free… then this tip may be the the catalyst for the shift you’ve been waiting for.

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Read the blog article on Elephant Journal: Breaking the Pattern: Why We Need to Stop Reading About Narcissism

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You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

Hey, Overcomer. I want to do a couple of things on today’s episode. First, I want to take some time to sum up my final thoughts related to the artwork I shared in the previous two episodes, about, ‘What does it mean to be a work in progress?’. Since I was sharing the artwork in real time, there was a lot for me to process, and I’ve since realized there are some final insights that I haven’t communicated yet. So, we’ll do that… Then I want to share with you a blog article that I wrote right around this time last year. It’s called, “‘Our Potential for Growth is Limitless’ – 3 Ways to Redefine Ourselves After Abuse”. I’m really proud of this article, which was published on Elephantjournal.com, and I think the topic ties in nicely with what we’ve been discussing here.

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Read the blog article on Elephant Journal: 'Our Potential for Growth is Limitless' - 3 Ways to Redefine Ourselves After Abuse

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You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

As promised, I’m back with part two of 'What does it mean to be a work in progress?'. Last week I shared about the feeling of discomfort around receiving positive attention (even though deep down, that’s exactly what I want from others), and ended up uncovering feelings of being scared and trapped and disconnected from my sense of self. I’d pulled out two old self portraits from nearly 20 years ago, and attempted to create a present day version of them. I started my artmaking time last week, thinking that I’d end feeling more connected to my identity, but found there was too much to unpack in one day. I allowed myself to feel what came up, and continued to think and process through what was continuing to come up for me throughout the week. Then, last Thursday it hit me like a ton of bricks. I tapped into and honed in on an emotion that I hadn’t felt during my artmaking, and knew it was exactly what I needed to explore with my art the following day. This really is a process, Overcomer.

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You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

I’ve got these two pen and ink self portraits that I drew soon after I graduated college, around the fall of 2004. I was feeling very lost in life, not sure what to do next. Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation…I had spent the previous 17 or 18 years as a student. My identity was very much wrapped up in that role. So, now that I’d graduated and didn’t have a firm career plan laid out (or, let’s be honest, I had exactly zero career plans), who was I? Where was my place in the world?...

Those portraits I did of that young version of Jennifer…I pulled them out the other day, and then attempted to create a present-day version. And that’s what I want to share with you today.

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You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

Have you ever read the children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? I love this book because I think all of us can relate to Alexander. It seems that nothing is going right for him, and he can only see his circumstances through a negative lens, where he’s the victim to everyone and everything. He repeatedly tells his friends, family, and teachers that he’s having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and he thinks he’ll move to Australia. I guess he figures that’s far enough away that none of his problems will follow him there. Then, at the very end of his day, he tell us, “My mother says some days are like that, even in Australia.” 

Today, I am not exactly having an Alexander type of day, but I am feeling really down. I honestly feel depressed. And I want to share with you how I’m processing those emotions…and it does not involve moving to the other side of the world.

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You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

"How do you work through confusion to find direction and clarity after leaving an abusive relationship with a narcissist? That’s a good question, right?

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The narcissist isn’t in charge anymore. It’s your turn, Overcomer.

You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

"Something I love about being an artist and writer is that the work I create continues to exist long after I create it (whether in digital or physical form) and I can access it and reflect on it weeks, months, and years later. In this sense, it kind of has a life all its own. As I said…it exists. It is its own thing. I’ve supplied the thoughts, words, colors, emotions, and actions to make it come to life. I’ve taken the thoughts, words, colors, emotions and actions out of my body and brain and put them onto another surface, or into my computer hard drive or Google doc. Then…I let them exist…and, I choose when and how I interact with them."

The narcissist isn’t in charge anymore. It’s your turn, Overcomer.

You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.

To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

I know that this holiday season may be hard for you. From reminders of past traumas, to navigating difficult schedules with co-parents, to putting on a fake happy face for family and friends… the holiday season is anything but merry and bright for so many Overcomers of narcissistic abuse.

I can relate.

That’s why I’m bringing you a very intentional series of podcast episodes to help support you through this time of year. I’ll be posting short episodes every Wednesday AND Saturday, from December 7th through January 7th. Then we’ll regroup and get back to the regular format for the new year.

As hard as this season may be for you, it can also be a time of immense growth if you’re willing to take a breath and reflect...if you’re willing to do a little work to connect with all that is good inside of you. And I’m here to help with that.

Click the link to learn more about my Redefined coaching app, and so much more: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer

Go directly to the Redefined website: https://redefined-by-jenniferkramer.passion.io/

I know that this holiday season may be hard for you. From reminders of past traumas, to navigating difficult schedules with co-parents, to putting on a fake happy face for family and friends… the holiday season is anything but merry and bright for so many Overcomers of narcissistic abuse.

I can relate.

That’s why I’m bringing you a very intentional series of podcast episodes to help support you through this time of year. I’ll be posting short episodes every Wednesday AND Saturday, from December 7th through January 7th. Then we’ll regroup and get back to the regular format for the new year.

As hard as this season may be for you, it can also be a time of immense growth if you’re willing to take a breath and reflect...if you’re willing to do a little work to connect with all that is good inside of you. And I’m here to help with that.

Click the link to learn more about my Redefined coaching app, and so much more: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer