“....It is the opening of the up and out of here, [out] of being bogged down, down into the dumps, into the depths. Depths of despair and uncertainty and un-reality of caring. Caring for my wound. His wound”
Narcissists don’t know how to truly engage with us emotionally, and that means sexual interactions with them are empty and abusive as well.
Emotional intimacy feels threatening to a narcissist, because it requires vulnerability, transparency, and trust. They can’t present themselves as perfect and in charge when they’re so intimately engaged…so they’ll avoid it at all costs.
And, in turn, sexual interactions with a narcissist are not emotionally intimate. Some narcissists may appear distant, like their mind is in another place, they’re especially short-tempered and judgmental when it comes to physical intimacy, or they avoid it altogether…coming up with excuses not to devote energy to this part of your relationship.
On the other hand, maybe you've experienced a narcissist who seemed hyper focused on sexual interactions with you. This might feel fun at first, but becomes demanding and objectifying, and again…devoid of true emotional connection.
At its worst, sexual interaction with a narcissist can become more overtly abusive…with rape and other forms of sexual assault not uncommon.
All this said, I think it’s very normal for survivors of narcissistic abuse to have a tremendous amount of emotions to unpack around their sexuality, femininity, and how to relate to men in various ways…including sexually. Just like all other aspects of our identities that get confused, enmeshed with the narcissist, or flat out lost altogether…this is one area that’s very important to explore.
Today I'm sharing about a painting I completed a few years ago that really helped me integrate the sexual aspects of my identity into my general sense of Self.
The narcissist isn’t in charge anymore. It’s your turn, Overcomer.
You’ll hear art therapist and coach, Jennifer Kramer, share a glimpse into her unique art and writing process that helps women redefine their identity after narcissistic abuse, one drawing or painting at a time. Jennifer also invites you to imagine what encouraging words your Future Self may have for you today.
To view the art image discussed in the episode, sign up for weekly emails, or learn more about The Redefined Process, go here: https://linktr.ee/jenniferakramer