It's not goodbye, it's "we're overwhelmed and need a break, we will see you soon."

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Our resident grief therapist is back... Dr. Denise is here to talk with us about making meaning after loss. What does it mean to make meaning? Why is is helpful to a griever? When do people typically start to have the energy to make meaning? Do you have to make meaning? What if you don't want to write a book, or make a foundation, or start a podcast? What can meaning also look like if not those "big" things?

Dr. Denise also gives us tips for making meaning, for anyone who is ready, and she offers sincere permission to skip it altogether if you're not.

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The information shared in this episode is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment or therapy. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts and think you may be a danger to yourself, please reach out immediately to the National Suicide Prevention hotline (800-273-8255) in the U.S. ⁠Linked here⁠ are additional resources in the United States. ⁠Linked here⁠ are resources for Canada. ⁠Linked here⁠ are resources for the U.K. ⁠Linked here⁠ are resources for Australia. ⁠Linked here⁠ are global resources. You are not alone.

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We have fantastic news from Dr. Denise... she is starting an online support group! For more information, listen to the end of the episode and reach out to her at [email protected] or on Instagram at@griefwithdrdenise.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Aiden died two years ago. That's pretty much it, that's the episode.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

This is the second part of Judith's interview with her friend Katie, Zayn's mom, who you may know as @BreathingAfterLoss on Instagram. To listen to the first part, where Judith and Katie talk about the struggles of having an alive baby after a dead baby, why they don't fit in with mom groups, and more, click the link below:

Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie

In this episode, they talk about how exhausting grieving while parenting is, celebrating alive and dead baby birthdays, being a first time mom for the second time, and so much more.

Content note: This is our most highly requested podcast topic, but we know it's also so triggering for so many. Alina didn't participate in this conversation for the same reason, as she doesn't have a living child to parent after loss (yet!) and it's a tough topic for her. Please feel free to skip this conversation if your heart can't handle it. 

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠, send us an email at ⁠[email protected]⁠, or visit us at ⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Judith got Aiden's results from the Roberts Program (see the episode where Alina got hers for more information on what this is... linked below), and it was good news. But it was good news about bad news, so it doesn't really feel so good. We share our feelings before and after the results meeting.

(P.S. Sorry about the weird audio in part 2!)

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Things we talk about in this episode:

Alina's Roberts Program Results: Answers and Questions

Butrylcholinesterase

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

You may know her as @BreathingAfterLoss on Instagram, but we're here to introduce you to Katie, who happens to be a real-life friend of Judith's.

In this episode, Judith and Katie talk about the struggles of having an alive baby after a dead baby, why they don't fit in with mom groups, and more!

Check back in a few weeks for the continuation of this conversation, where Judith and Katie talk about things like how exhausting grieving while parenting is, celebrating alive and dead baby birthdays, and what it's like to be a first time mom for the second time.

Content note: This is our most highly requested podcast topic, but we know it's also so triggering for so many. Alina didn't participate in this conversation for the same reason, as she doesn't have a living child to parent after loss (yet!) and it's a tough topic for her. Please feel free to skip this conversation if your heart can't handle it.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Katie's account @BreathingAfterLoss

- Erica of @TravelingWithGrief, a mutual loss mom friend of Alina and Katie's who has shared a lot of her PAL journey on her Instagram account.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Thank you to listener Kim for the idea for this episode! Alina is going on vacation this weekend, and we decided to talk all about traveling after baby loss. Why is it so hard? What makes it worth it anyway?

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

We thankfully had time to record a real episode for you later in the week, but this was our first attempt at this week's episode. It's BAD!!! Alina was sick and recording from bed, and for some reason both of our brains were not connected to our mouths. We're releasing this in case anyone needs a laugh, but we are fully aware this is our worst episode ever. If you want to listen to some better produced podcasts, take a look at our recommendations below!

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As Long As I'm Living podcast recommendations!

1. Terrible, Thanks for Asking

It’s a question we ask (and get asked) all the time: “How are you?” And normally we just respond with “Fine!” even if we’re totally dying inside, so everyone can go about their day. But it’s not always all that fine, is it? “Terrible, Thanks For Asking” is a show by author Nora McInerny that lets real people get real honest about how they’re really doing. It’s sometimes sad, sometimes funny, and almost always both.

Start here: Sad Nora and the Secret Baby

2. The Worst Girl Gang Ever

Miscarriage, infertility and baby loss podcast with Bex Gunn and Laura Buckingham. 

Start here: Tahnee Knowles - Stillbirth and PAL

3. Guys and Grief

Guys and Grief is geared toward fathers that have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. The guys share stories and challenges, as well as laughs and a few tears, as they navigate helping men honor their children, deal with grief, support their family, and try find better days ahead.

Start here: Episode 1: Introduction (brand new podcast alert!!)

4. Sisters in Loss

Sisters in Loss podcast spotlights faith filled black women who share their grief and loss stories and testimonies.

Start here: Preeclampsia and Miscarriage and Helping Melinated Moms

5. The Silent Why

Can hope be found in every type of loss? Join Claire Sandys (and sometimes Chris), a childless couple (not by choice), on a mission to find 101 different types of loss to see if it's possible to find hope, or even joy, in every type of grief.

Start here: Loss of a Family, with Alina

6. Inside Trader Joe's

A wildcard! Judith recommended this to Alina in one of their first conversations. Sometimes you need to listen to anything OTHER than baby loss.

Every episode takes you Inside Trader Joe’s in a podcast series only Trader Joe's could deliver.

Start here: It's About the Products

Today on As Long As I'm Living podcast, we're taking stock. How far are we on our journeys toward Happier Ever After, 2ish years since the deaths of our sons? We think we're somewhere over Denver. Or Mars.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Why did MY baby die, when so many others live?

This is a question that we're sure all of you have asked yourselves at one point or another. We talk about our feelings on this topic and how they've evolved over the months since Aiden and Quinn died.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.