As Long As I'm Living

What you'll hear in this episode is a gut-wrenchingly honest conversation between Judith and her friend Rachel, who she hurt deeply after Aiden's death. We are guessing this will sound familiar to grievers and grief supporters alike. Rachel was not able to be there in the way Judith needed, and so Judith disappeared -- completely. 

Grievers are jerks. It's just the truth! When you are going through the most excruciating pain and you are spending all of your energy on breathing minute to minute, you are likely not able to be the best, most communicative friend. We are so grateful to Rachel for not only hanging in there with Judith, but also for coming onto the podcast and sharing this raw portrait of friendship after loss.

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Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

'Tis the season... for losing our ever-loving minds. Listen to hear our tips for surviving major holidays and what our plans are/were for this season.

We include tips for those of you who have decided to skip the holidays this year (what does that even mean??), folks who want to celebrate but need to set boundaries with themselves and their families, and people who will be participating in religious traditions. We hope this helps some of you navigate what can be the trickiest time of year.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Wishing You a Tolerable Thanksgiving | As Long As I'm Living

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Meet Leah, a.k.a. Zia Leah (Aunt Leah), Alina's friend of 13 years. Alina and Leah met their freshman year of college, and they spent the following decade in various levels of connection but always in touch and with so much love. After Quinn's sudden death, Leah SHOWED UP for Alina in a way that many people couldn't. Listen to hear how she experienced the loss and what it feels to be the friend that someone is relying on so heavily.

This is the second episode in a series we are doing talking about how friendships change after loss.

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Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Blown Away (Netflix)

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Today's episode is the first in a new series talking about how friendships change after loss.

Meet Julia, Judith's friend of 8 years. Judith and Julia's lives were always on the same track, personally and professionally, until Aiden's sudden death in March 2021 when Julia was newly pregnant with her first child, a son. Listen to hear how their friendship has evolved in the 1.5 years since Aiden died and where they think their friendship will go next.

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Other episodes in the Friendship Series!

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Mothering a Grieving Mother, Interviews with our Moms | As Long As I'm Living

- The Bottom | As Long As I'm Living

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

On November 4th, 2021, we released the very first episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast, just 3 days after the idea popped into our heads. Which means... drumroll... it's our anniversary week! 

In this episode, we talk about the state of the podcast: what do we love about it, who works on which parts of it behind the scenes, how has life and our friendship changed since starting it, what is our exit plan, and so much more.

THANK YOU to all of our listeners. We are so honored that you choose to spend some of your time each week with our voices in your ears.

xo,

Judith and Alina

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Hello! We are behind... very behind. Our mental health has been suffering recently due to medical stuff (Alina) and an interminable series of high holidays (Judith), but what is a Monday morning without a new episode of As Long As I'm Living podcast!?

Please enjoy some audio that we've held onto from past interviews for just such an occasion. In this episode, you'll hear the following:

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Answers and Questions | As Long As I'm Living

- Nora McInerny (@noraborealis) and Terrible, Thanks For Asking (@ttfapodcast)

- Bad Vibes Only and Nora's other books

- Sad Nora and the Secret Baby | Terrible, Thanks for Asking

- Aeron's Foundation website and Instagram

- I Can't Imagine | ALAIL

- There Is No Moving On, an Interview with Jennifer Su, Aeron's Mom | ALAIL

- Still Breathing book, Katie Joy Duke (@katiejoyduke)

- Still Breathing, an Interview with Katie Joy Duke | ALAIL

- Empty Arms website

- Empty Arms, an Interview with Carol McMurrich | ALAIL

- TFMR is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill | ALAIL

- Calamity, an Interview about Race and Infant Loss with Emy Collins, Bash's Mom | ALAIL

- Sad Dads Club website

- The Sad Dads Club | ALAIL

- Father's Day Wishes from the Sad Dads | ALAIL

It's Spooky Season, and we're talking about Halloween decorations. Is everyone else in awe of the ridiculous amount of privilege on display each October in their neighborhood? Some of us have actually held our own child's dead body, and we have some strong words for these insensitive neighbors. (Including an open letter to a particularly offensive decorator in Judith's old neighborhood in L.A.)

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

In this episode, Alina and Judith talk self care. Not massages, manicures, and 5ks, but the simple things you can do on the days when you're not well. Go drink water!

If you don't have a lot of time in your life for self care right now, this episode is still for you; Judith feels the same.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Loved Momma Fitness: Instagram, website, Recovery After Loss program

- Wonder Woman | As Long As I'm Living

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

We released an episode with big news about Alina's health this week (NOT a pregnancy announcement), which you can listen to HERE. As we're sure you can imagine, this has been fairly all-consuming for us over the past month, and we are SICK OF IT. Thus, you are going to get this bonus episode about it, but after this, it will be back to regularly scheduled programming. We will -- of course -- talk about Alina's health going forward as we do everything going on in our lives, but this is the last episode we plan to dedicate to it.

The beginning of this episode is some classic rambling from our scrambled egg brains. We talk about how infant loss affects a marriage, feelings surrounding dead baby birthday parties, religious questions after loss, and much more.

The end of the episode is something we'll call Alina's Diary -- snippets here and there from the past month so that you can catch up on her feelings about the heart stuff in real time. Thank you for honoring her need for some privacy about this very tender topic. If you'd like to reach out, send us a message on Instagram or send us an email -- both are linked below. (No advice please, she has a team of the very best doctors who have her covered.)

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Alina recently got Quinn's results from the Roberts Program, which was investigating his SIDS death to try to determine a root cause. They were worse than anyone was expecting. Listen to hear what caused Quinn's death, how it affects Alina's health, and some of her initial thoughts on this news.

(Recorded September 2, 2022)

Thank you for honoring my need for some privacy about this very tender topic. If you'd like to reach out, send me a message on Instagram or send us an email -- both are linked below. (No advice please, I have a team of the very best doctors who have me covered.)

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- SIDS, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program

- Grief Needs a Witness, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!

:::

As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.