i dont think it was grandmother because she was really grieved by the death of my mother. i never thought anything like that about her. but, i am just wondering why she was in contact with my father. 

i was thinking about it the other day. that maybe college can be free for people. and it may make them less likely to be like my father, who would use someone just to get their college and expenses paid for. because i think my father preferred to have a life with another lady.  he met my mother when he was separated from the lady he prefers to be with. the lady that lived in oklahoma. 

there were a few people who thought my mother wound up dead for insurance money.  for larry, the guy she was married to, but who knows it could have been for other people also.  i had reported my brother to my school for assault pretty shortly before she died. my brother had moved out of the house and had a criminal record. then my mother passed away. and my grandmother evidently took my brothers side, and helped my brother get the charges removed.  i dont remember the timelines that well actually. but it was some what in that order. my mother died around the time i reported my brother to the school for assault.  since there are rumors that he was in to harming animals and stuff, i dont want to tell you everything, but who knows , maybe he did something to my mother. 

she did get mysteriously detained at a grocery store by the police for something supposedly so the story goes at one point and then she died not too long after that. 

i remember that she did not come home for a very long time, and when she showed up, she told me something like that, or that was the story i was told by someone.  that she was detained at a grocery store or something.

i remember when i met my father, he didnt have much to say. but one thing he did say a few times was that he thinks college should be free for everyone. and what i think he was saying, is that he wished college could have been free for him. because it turns out my mother did pay for his college.   so i do wonder, if college could have been free, if maybe he wouldnt have seen the need to hook up with my mother.  i think he regretted having children with my mother.  i think it is obvious. 

he was 27 when i was born. and supposedly he did not have a very good career for himself. so my mother paid for him to become a respiratory therapist and i think that included paying for his expenses and shit like that so he could finish school you know.

unfortunately, to add to this story, before my mother passed away, i was told that my brother saw my father as a kind of father figure at one point because his father was absent.   my brothers father was supposedly a drug dealer of some kind in austin, texas  and supposedly he is the reason my mother got in trouble with drugs and the other stuff. she was a nurse and had a normal life, but supposedly , at one point, she was in trouble, because my brothers father was a drug dealer.

i think i also heard rumors that my brother killed some animals so he was showing signs of being a psychopath.  so yes it seems like i grew up around some great people. 

i dont have a way to find this person. but if my father is still alive, i dont think anyone will tell you, but there was a restraining order against him before my mother passed away. and so i understand, i was also taken by my father without my mothers permission, because they were not together, but it was when i was young enough that i do not remember.  i remember hearing later that he was reckless with me at some point when he took me out because supposedly he was a drinker. but who knows man, this guy could have done worse than drink around me, because those things took place when i was too young to remember. i never got the feeling he did anything wierd when i was a child. not until i met him when i was in college did i think he showed incestuous signs toward me.  so if he had contact with my family after my mother passed away, i never knew about it, and i guess he probably did it to get money.  i was told , at some point, when my mother was alive, that there was a rumor that he slept with his mother.  so i think when he called me when i was in college, and he was playing pornography in the back ground, i kind of reacted badly. if i am not mistaken, we were having the one and only house party that we had at the place that i lived, at the time, and when he called, with the pornography playing in the background. i hung up the phone almost crying and told a friend that was near by.  i told the friend that my father had just called me with pornography in the background , and that he was not really speaking that much on the phone. it was not an accidental call. he did talk to me. when he stopped talking to me like normally on the phone, i sat there for a minute and started to realize he may be doing something sexual on the call with himself, which is why he may be silent. so i hung up.  i knew about the rumor that he was an incestuous person. so, i hope this person is not following me around to this day.  

who knows man what was going on, on the call. i thought it was pornography on the t.v. in the background, but you never know, it could have been a lot worse now that i think about it. 

it was a mistake to meet him that one time. i definitely didnt have plans to meet him. it was my grandmother that set up the whole thing. 

i also remember when i was young, at one point i wound up mysteriously in a field with some woman and a girl that seemed to know my father,  and what i remember is we were walking in this tall grass and tree filled place and i got lost in the brush. when i realized i had separated from them, i started to call out for them and freaked out and i remember looking for a chain link fence that i remembered should be there. i remember finding the fence and i do remember reuniting with whoever those people were. but i am not sure what was going on that day, but looking back on it i think i may have been out with people that wanted to get rid of me. 

i think we are dealing with people who do not want to embrace u.s. laws because they are afraid if people do that it would be more important than religion or something. but you know what, i am not smart enough for that one. 

i think if you escaped to mexico or canada or something, they would have a law that requires an employer to let an employee sleep