In shame-based cultures, when a parent doesn't like something the child is doing, often times they discipline the kid's behavior but the child herself feels like she is a bad girl. She takes on guilt, embarrasment and feels like she has "failed" her family. Unless this is undone, she will carry all the anxiety of just being "herself" into adulthood.

This episode connects the dots on why so many Asians have a hard time just being "themselves" and how to stop the cycle of being afraid of others' opinions of us.

*Freed to Lead 3 Day VIRTUAL EVENT: June 7, June 8, June 9

*Super Early Bird tix through May 19th!*

[00:00] Teaser

[00:47] Episode 14 Intro

[02:00] Expecting the Worst

[02:48] What happened to your podcast?

[06:23] How Shame Started

[08:47] Before Shame Stole Our Joy

[11:09] When We Don't Meet Our Own Expectations

[13:11] Self-Sabotage

[16:19] Yoga and Meditation won't fix it

[18:42] BREAK

[19:19] Cycles of Shame

[22:11] What Does Shame Look Like?

[25:48] Jeanny's Journey to Weed Out Old Shame

[33:05] Shame Assessement

[34:42] Affirmation

[39:17] Preview of Season 2

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Making Progress by Dan Phillipson

Affirmation Song: Sky High by AK

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

*Freed to Lead 3 Day VIRTUAL EVENT: June 7, June 8, June 9

Asian women experience shame as little girls. We start feeling not good enough all the way into our career. This habit negatively affects us in all aspects of work and personal relationships. We end up knowing what we want. So we don't ask and get what we want.

In this episode Jeanny shares examples from her past in she learned she was not good enough. Included in this session is an extra-long affirmation in Part 2 of the Episode for you to gain your confidence back!

Jeanny Chai Bio here

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

Book A Free Confidence Igniter Call with Jeanny if you want to overcome stress and imposter sydrome and propel your career forward with confidence and certainty.

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

Affirmation Song: Sky High by AK

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

We are trained to unconditionally respect our elders. But this creates problems for us as adults. What if our supervisor is not setting us up for success? Unconditional deference to our boss can result in overworking, anxiety, unfairness, and being stalled in your career.

This episode connects the dots on why so many Asians feel this way, and more importantly how to stop the cycle of being afraid of our supervisors and not advocating for ourselves.

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*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[01:16] Episode 12 Intro

[02:44] Scary adults?

[04:30] Social Anxiety

[05:42] Fear of authority figures

[08:18] Remembering adults in your past

[11:01] Bullied for not speaking English well

[11:58] Stern Chinese School Teacher

[14:14] Yelled at for being sick

[16:19] Feeling like a bad daughter

[19:29] Fear of disappointing our parents

[20:38] BREAK

[21:17] Filial Piety Gone Wrong

[21:30] Afraid to Disappoint Your Boss

[23:37] Afraid to Speak up with Your Boss

[25:16] Looking to Your Boss for Approval

[28:38] Thinking You are Not Enough

[28:38] Thinking You are Not Enough

[29:26] The Key to Freedom

[32:21] Affirmation

[36:34] Preview of Episode 13

Looking for a coach? Book a Confidence Igniter call with Jeanny

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

Affirmation Song: Ghost by Piano Yeti

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

When overthinking causes too much stress and indecisiveness, we need to stop. We were taught to not give others "bad news" but instead to SAVE FACE. These norms in turn make it hard for us to make decisions that make us happy but might have a negative effect on others. We don't want to disappoint others so we make decisions to put up with stress, anxiety, busyness, bad treatment and unfulfillment.

There's a better way to make decisions that value yourself, your time and propel your career forward with confidence.

See full transcipt at AsiansBreakingCeilings.com in Episode 11.

Jeanny Chai Bio here

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[01:05] Episode 11 Intro

[02:32] Are you more comfortable with stress or peace?

[04:20] Always expecting the worst

[05:19] What causes Overthinking?

[07:00] Overthinking causes constant Stress

[08:31] You can only be as happy as your most unlucky relative

[10:51] Feeling guilty for good fortune

[11:14] Feeling guilty to leave your department

[14:09] Effects of mean Asian relatives

[15:43] When guilt become an addiction

[17:14] BREAK

[17:52] If it's easy, you're probably LAZY

[18:32] Asians getting stuck with the sh*tty projects

[19:15] Guilt keeps us in toxic situations

[19:58] We are guilted into being responsible, instead of following our dreams

[22:54] Stress becomes a way of life

[24:57] The Key to Freedom

[26:11] Let Yourself be happy

[29:35] Create you own pschological safety

[30:03] Affirmation to help you gain your power back

[33:00] Episode 11 Teaser

Book A Free Confidence Igniter Call with Jeanny if you want to overcome stress and imposter sydrome and propel your career forward with confidence and certainty.

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song and Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

Most women have a habit of feeling guilty for saying NO. How is this affecting our careers negatively and more importantly, how to we stop this habit?

Here's an actionable first step. Start noticing when you are saying YES when you mean NO.

Then give yourself permission to make yourself happy.

See full transcipt at AsiansBreakingCeilings.com in Episode 10.

Jeanny Chai Bio here

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[00:48] Episode 10 Intro

[02:08] Hard to Say No to Assignments at Work

[03:35] Guilt comes from trauma in childhood

[06:41] Guilt makes us feel like we have no time

[07:25] Feeling like a burden to parents

[08:39] I almost became a Mormon

[07:39] Guilt steals our joy

[08:08] The Age that Guilt starts

[08:40] No child is born feeling constantly guilty

[09:15] Feeling like a burden to parents

[11:42] Guilt causes problems in dating relationships

[15:17] Afraid to say no to boss ended up really bad...

[17:04] Saving Face can cause a guilt complex

[17:30] Always worried about being fired from your job?

[20:24] BREAK Book a Confidence Igniter call with Jeanny

[21:21] Guilt makes parenting really stressful

[21:44] Bad babysitters

[25:21] Guilt hurts our careers

[26:00] The Key to Freedom

[29:03] How to have compassion for yourself

[30:22] Affirmation to Say No without Guilt

[34:36] Preview of Episode 11 (Guilt, Part 3)

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Making Progress by Dan Phillipson

Affirmation Song: Ghost Yeti

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

Most women have a habit of feeling guilty for actions that benefit herself. How is this affecting our careers negatively and more importantly, how to we stop this habit?

Here's an actionable first step. Start noticing when you are guilting yourself.

Once you master this strategy, you'll notice your confidence returning and you start making decisions with more ease and freedom.

And most importantly, you'll find happiness. Which, I know, is not talked about or cultivated in the Asian culture, but certainly the key to becoming a good leader and breaking the bamboo ceiling.

See full transcipt at AsiansBreakingCeilings.com in Episode 9.

Jeanny Chai Bio here

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[00:29] Episode 9 Intro

[02:02] Have your experienced unconditional love?

[03:29] Guilt creeps in when we are alone

[04:28] Adults afraid of disappointing our parents

[05:07] Do you start your day in a mini-panic?

[05:46] Why guilt is not a good motivator

[07:39] Guilt steals our joy

[08:08] The Age that Guilt starts

[08:40] No child is born feeling constantly guilty

[09:15] Feeling like a burden to parents

[11:22] Missing the bus gets us in trouble

[13:09] Why We Never Blame our Parents

[14:09] The Accidental Shoplifter

[17:30] Always worried about being fired from your job?

[18:32] BREAK

[19:08] Letting your team down (more guilt)

[21:23] Guilt as a Hobby

[22:43] Guilt Ruins Our Relationships

[23:25] Guilt Stalls our Careers

[26:01] Guilt is root cause of many Trends from Episode 1

[27:04] Affirmation to end Guilt

[32:31] Preview of Episode 10 (Guilt, Part 2)

Looking for a coach? Book a Confidence Igniter call with Jeanny

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Making Progress by Dan Phillipson

Affirmation Song: Sky High by AK

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

Asian women tend to apologize unnecessarily. This habit negatively affects us in all aspects of work and personal relationships. In this episode Jeanny shares examples from her past in which an apology was warranted. Included in this session is an extra-long affirmation in Part 2 of the Episode for you to gain your confidence back!

See full transcipt at AsiansBreakingCeilings.com in Episode 7.

Jeanny Chai Bio here

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[00:36] Episode 7 Intro

[01:59] How To Benefit from this podcast

[02:23] The Truth about People who Apologize

[04:35] Story 1

[07:50] Story 2

[09:13] Story 3

[11:40] Story 4

[14:35] My parent apologized. It was underwhelming.

[21:10] BREAK

[21:46] Unnecessary Apologizing

[23:52] Din Tai Fung

[26:28] The Key to Freedom

[29:42] Affirmation to help you gain your power back

[39:04] Episode 9 Teaser

Book A Free Confidence Igniter Call with Jeanny if you want to overcome stress and imposter sydrome and propel your career forward with confidence and certainty.

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Making Progress by Dan Phillipson

Affirmation Song: Ghost Piano by Yeti Music

Affirmation Song: No Eye Has Seen by Caden Chai

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

Do you have no time to yourself? The root cause might be your Inner Critic. But how do you even silence this voice, when we've been practicing self-criticism for 30 or 40 years?

Here's an actionable first step. Start noticing when you are "shoulding" yourself.

Once you master this strategy, you'll notice your confidence returning and you start making decisions with more ease and freedom. Which means you'll find work-life balance.

See full transcipt at AsiansBreakingCeilings.com in Episode 7.

Jeanny Chai Bio here

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[00:45] Episode 7 Intro

[01:40] Shoulding myself day and night

[03:03] We used to live guilt-free

[03:51] The connection between low confidence and shoulding yourself

[07:27] How to Silence Your Inner Critic

[08:22] The Limitations of Talk Therapy

[09:14] How to Start Taking Ownership of Your Career

[10:47] Childhood shoulding

[16:21] Being too responsible means no fun

[18:58] When Work Becomes Your Parent

[19:53] BREAK

[20:28] Managing conversations with ourselves

[21:14] The Pressure of Taking Care of our parents

[23:08] Going no contact with my Mom

[25:12] Getting Shoulded at Work

[29:26] No Bonus for you

[30:23] The Key to Freedom

[32:09] Stop Shoulding Affirmation

[33:59] Preview of Episode 8 (Sorry, not Sorry)

Looking for a coach? Book a Confidence Igniter call with Jeanny

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Making Progress by Dan Phillipson

Affirmation Song: Sky High by AK

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

Asian culture teaches us grit, suffering, resilience and to tolerate A LOT of stress. However, when we live in "De Nile" that our we are tolerating too much abuse and suffering, things don't get better. Many of us suffer from anxiety, burnout, and depression and we don't feel fulfilled in our relationships or work.

It is through acknowleding "a**hole behavior" and protecting ourselves that we begin to have agency and experience authentic success in our careers and live with freedom and abundance.

Jeanny Chai Bio here

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[00:50] Episode 6 Intro

[02:19] De Nile blocks our Success

[03:26] Private vs Public life

[05:30] Abuse is normalized in Asian families

[06:12] We start to bully ourselves...

[09:41] Calling out A$$hole Behavior

[11:05] Why Mental Health problems abound in Asian families

[14:15] Ending Denial

[15:43] Asian Families Denying Mental Health Struggles

[20:56] Asian Women Accepting the Fault

[22:57] 3-Sentence Template for How to Speak up

[23:35] The Physical Effects of Long Term Emotional Stress

[25:21] BREAK

[25:54] Asian Culture Covers up Problems

[27:54] Asian Women Hide their pain

[29:11] The Problem with NOT speaking up

[30:22] The Key to Freedom

[31:52] Creating Psychological Safety for Yourself

[34:04] But doesn't God teach us to love everyone?

[35:50] Coming Out of De Nile Affirmation/ Meditation

[39:30] Preview of Episode 7

Looking for a coach? Book a Confidence Igniter call with Jeanny

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Making Progress by Dan Phillipson

Affirmation Song: Sky High by AK

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo

We are called the "Model Minority" for being hard-working, loyal and reliable. We put everyone else's needs first.

But do you ever feel that the sacrifice is too much? That someone being a people pleaser doesn't benefit us, but actually hurts our careers and our lives? Because the root problem of many over acheivers is the feeling that "I'm not enough."

This episode connects the dots on why so many Asians feel this way, and more importantly how to stop the cycle of people pleasing and overachieving, when it becomes an addiction.

*Take the FREE ASSESSMENT My Personal Roadblock to Success

[00:00] Teaser

[00:55] Episode 5 Intro

[01:55] Why are we talking about our childhoods if this is a career podcast?

[04:28] Both Grandmas undervalued, unwanted

[07:12] Generational Trauma

[11:33] People Pleaser is created

[14:31] Why I Became an Overacheiver

[15:20] But what happens when it becomes an addiction?

[18:24]] BREAK

[18:57] Why proving yourself is exhausting?

[20:36] We all cope: Asians choose hard work.

[21:48] Strategy 1: One surprising cure to proving yourself

[25:02] Strategy 2: How to stop proving yourself

[28:02] Why Speaking up matters, even if others don't change

[29:49] AFFIRMATION

[33:49] Preview of Episode 6

Looking for a coach? Book a Confidence Igniter call with Jeanny

Theme Song: Imagine by Zoo

Mid-roll Song: Making Progress by Dan Phillipson

Affirmation Song: Ghost by Piano Yeti

Post-roll Song: Clarity by Zoo