#AskAMan

Anonymous says she has three kids and lost her partner  in 2021. Anonymous says she met a new guy while she was grieving and they started dating. 

Anonymous says the guy was unemployed when they met and he moved in with her, and anonymous says she tried to help him get a job and he eventually got one last year. 

Anonymous says the guy changed on her after getting employed and they were fighting a lot. Anonymous says he wasn’t communicating much with her but was busy chatting to other women on social media, something he’s been doing since they met. Anonymous says she’s never proven that things got physical with those women. 

Anonymous says he’s emotionally unavailable, and he’s kinda on and off in their relationship. 

Anonymous is wondering if his behaviour in the beginning was great because he was unemployed and whether she’s now forcing things.

Anonymous says she feels like there’s a third person in their relationship. Anonymous says her and her partner have a mutual friend who is the person that introduced them to each other. 

Anonymous says over the last year her and this third person drifted apart but she’s now realised that this friend and her partner have become closer. Anonymous says her partner now hides when he meets up with the friend and they even go on dates without her, which is something they used to do together. 

Anonymous says there’s also been incidences where her partner comments on how good the friend is looking. Anonymous says she doesn’t get the sense that her partner is cheating on her with their friend and wonders if she’s just insecure and unreasonable about their relationship. Anonymous says she’s not sure what to do about this situation.

Anonymous says back in 2021 he was in a relationship and ready to get engaged to guy no.1, however around that time he met someone else, guy no.2,  in a club and they had a one night stand. 

Anonymous says two weeks after the incident, he ghosted guy no.2 as he was confused and he continued with his engagement. Anonymous says a few weeks went by and he reached out to guy no.2 again and they eventually met, and during this meet up guy no.2 opened up about his HIV positive status and anonymous says that wasn’t a problem for him.

Anonymous says he ended his engagement with guy no.1 and continued with a relationship with guy no.2, however things got rocky between them and anonymous found himself back on a hook up app which caused problems in their relationship. Anonymous says guy no.2 also had financial issues and that, and his own infidelity led to their break up in September last year. 

Anonymous says they were not speaking for a while however reconnected, became friends and they even car pooled together in anonymous car to go to work and gym. Anonymous says he then started dating someone else and guy no.2 became jealous of the relationship and eventually anonymous says guy no.2 ghosted him after meeting another guy. 

Anonymous says guy no.2 then returned and even seduced him despite the fact that they are now friends and have partners. Anonymous doesn’t understand why he’s still in this messy situation with guy no.2.

Anonymous says he’s known his partner for 3 years and things were mostly fine until he faced some financial struggles. 

Anonymous says he moved to another country overseas for work purposes, but when things didn’t workout, he made his way back to the country but had nowhere to stay. His things were at his partner’s home, and so the partner took him in to live with her. 

Anonymous says in the time that he’s lived with her, she’s become controlling and doesn’t seem to have any regard for him or anything he has to say. Anonymous says he’s not surprised by this behaviour as she was a bit offish when it comes to communication while he was overseas. 

Anonymous says he’s not sure if she should continue to stay with her.

Anonymous says she’s been in a relationship with the father of her child for 7 years and things were ok until earlier this year when she realised he was cheating on her. 

Anonymous says when she confronted him about it he confessed that he was cheating and was in love with the other lady and he intended to keep seeing the other lady. Anonymous stuck around but eventually moved out of their place because of his affair. 

Anonymous says they are now sort of back together and he’s treating her amazingly and their relationship is good, however, her partner still says he still wants to be with the other lady as well.

Anonymous says her boyfriend is a married man and they’ve been together for  2 years. Anonymous says their relationship is generally fine and he’s a good partner but he seems to be a narcissist. 

Anonymous says he tends to look down on her and can be patronising, and he wasn’t like that at the beginning of their relationship. Anonymous says he’s even suggested she lose weight. 

Anonymous says he’s promised to take her in as a second wife, however, at this point she’s not understanding his personality and why he sometimes treats her negatively.

Anonymous says she has known her partner for about 12 years now, since her first year in varsity.

Anonymous says after her partner’s aunt passed away, they took in the children and raised them till they moved out in 2019. Anonymous says she had a child with him in 2019 & 2020, but the first child unfortunately died two years ago due to illness. 

Anonymous says they got married around 2019, however over a couple of years his behaviour changed. Anonymous says he started looking down on her, complaining about her weight and how she runs their household. Anonymous also describes how he goes out drinking and comes back home demanding sex from her, he has also cheated on anonymous but is not remorseful for any of his behaviour.

Anonymous says she’s tried to complain to his family but they are not able to talk to him as he’s the breadwinner at home. 

Anonymous says she’s had enough and doesn’t know what’s holding her back.

Anonymous says she’s been married to her husband for 6 years now. She says when they initially met he was married, they hooked up, but he disappeared and came back months later after breaking up with his wife. 

Anonymous says they then dated and about 3 months into their relationship, she found out he was cheating, she forgave him and they moved on and got married. 

Anonymous says last year while she was pregnant and visiting her child who lives with her parents, she tried to contact him but couldn’t reach him, she returned back to their place only to find the place trashed and an open condom wrapper in one of the rooms. Anonymous says her partner later confessed that he had come back home with some girls who drugged him and stole from them. 

Anonymous says a similar incident has now taken place again,, she visited her family and he was busy with his shenanigans again.

Anonymous says she married her husband last year November and she gave birth to their child in August of this year. 

Anonymous says she came into the relationship with one child, so did her husband,  and says less than a year into their relationship her partner wants a divorce. Anonymous says she’s taken aback by this as the father of her first child also broke up with her a month after she gave birth. 

Anonymous is wondering what she’s doing that’s causing history to repeat itself. Anonymous adds that the current fight with her partner is based on how often her first daughter can visit their house, her husband wants the visits to be less frequent. 

Anonymous also says there was a change in how they communicate and time spent together when they got married.

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner since 2014 and they each came  into the relationship with a child. Anonymous says they started lobola proceedings in 2016, however he still needs to complete the process and they now have two kids together. 

Anonymous says they then started working together at the same place for a few years and everything was fine until he started working somewhere else, far from home, and their relationship became more of a long distance relationship. 

Anonymous says he found out that she was cheating on him with someone from work and when he confronted her about it, she explained that she was feeling lonely because she wasn’t seeing him as often as she used to. 

Anonymous believes she’s cheated on him again and again and thinks she’s back it again right now. Anonymous says he was planning on completing the lobola this year but he’s now wondering if he should just let go of the relationship.