Deep in the Eucalyptus forests of Australia, a fluffy grey creature dozes peacefully in the nook of a branch, blissfully unaware that across the world, a Zookeeper and amateur comedienne is determined to get to the bottom of whether or not Koalas are "assholes" or not.

Thankfully for the small-brained Koala, they never will know. And you're not going to tell them...right?

Joining Alice on her quest to find the truth is wildlife veterinarian, conservationist and Koala warzone resident - Dr Chloe Buiting. Listen as these two discuss Squirrel Monkey pickpocketing, Australian Magpie swooping, and Koala screeching.

Our charity of the week this week is "Friends of the Koala" - a Koala Hospital in New South Wales putting any injured little guys back out into the bush. Check our their incredible work at: https://friendsofthekoala.org - and donate today if you love Koalas and want to save them!

Alright, so we may need to up our PR budget for this one...NO ONE is protesting on the side of Ticks. They are bitey, blood-sucky, gross-looking little creatures that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie...or are they?

It just so happens that we managed to find an expert willing to put his reputation on the line to defend the tiny Tick - vet, conservationist and hilarious human Dr Sean McCormack, survivor of Lyme disease and lover of parasites.

Join Sean and Alice at Global Birdfair 2025 as they educate not only the live audience, but listeners worldwide, about the importance of Ticks in our ecosystems, and some handy tips for preparing for Tick season! God bless you, Sean, you're doing God's work!

What do you think you know about Iguanas? That they're big ol' Lizards that hang around Florida? That they make great emotional support pets for lonely spinsters? (Shout-out to Jub-Jub from "The Simpsons").

What if we told you that Iguanas are some of the most diversely located reptiles on Earth? What if we told you that they have the quiet dignitas of an animal that's achieved spiritual enlightment but have teeth that say "yeah, fuck around and find out, pal"? What if we mentioned that one species can hold their breath for 30 minutes underwater?

Well, this is all the crazy shit you'd be missing out on if you DON'T tune in to this week's episode, featuring reptile-enthusiast and Iguana-nerd, the actor, the podcaster, the "Masked Singer"s: Matthew Lawrence!

So hit play and prepare to appreciate the salad-powered sass of the Iguana.Our sponsor of this episode is the incredible Bristol Fungarium - giving you a little mushroom magic to help with that pesky ADHD or Anxiety! Give their products a whirl at: www.bristolfungarium.com

Our Charity of the Week is the International Iguana Foundation - who are putting in the WORK to protect our scaly friends - find them at www.iguanafoundation.org.

It's difficult not to be jealous of Eagles, isn't it? Their giant wingspan, their majesty in the air, the gasps of wonder that follow them wherever they fly. The awe they strike upon us by simply existing in our skies is something to behold. And yet here we are - talking White-Tailed Eagles today...

On the show to talk about his relationship with these majestic birds and to discuss his new book, which is CHOCK-FULL of cool animal facts, is wildlife photographer and honorary eagle himself, Hamza Yassin. Listen to this episode to hear about why we need Eagles and which animal Hamza considers an absolute asshole...

Our charity of the week this week is the fabulous Roy Dennis Wildlife Foundation - putting in the hard work to return White-Tailed Eagles to our skies. Find them at https://roydennis.org to hear more about their work.

Our sponsors of the show today are the fabulous Bristol Fungarium, who have made mushrooms their business and are interested in helping you add some mushroom magic to your life! Check them out at www.bristolfungarium.com!

We've really shot ourselves in the foot with this one, haven't we? What possible asshole-rating could Alice give to man's closest animal companion? The Scooby to our Shaggy? The Gromit to our Wallace? The Hachiko to our...whoever Hachiko's owner was?

We brought out the big guns for this one. Anthrozoologist Hal Herzog - who studies the relationship between Humans and Dogs, joins Alice this week as they've got perhaps the TOUGHEST job of all - deciding of how much of a dick Dogs can be...

Care to find out what Dogs have to do with ghosts, Red Pandas and babies bottoms? Look no further. But hold your feelings tight, this may be a bumpy ride for Dog lovers everywhere!

This episode is sponsored by the incredible Bristol Fungarium - who are doing their best to get you to your healthiest, with the help of mushroom tinctures! Find out more at www.bristolfungarium.com!

Our charity of the week this week is the most wholesome and amazing group of folks, called Best Friends Animal Society - the troopers on the ground, helping to get the amount of pets killed in shelters down to ZERO! Check them out at: www.bestfriends.org!

If you're a Millenial, then chances are you grew up watching The Rescuers, so are somewhat traumatised by Gators, having watched young orphan Penny be tormented by Madame Medusa and her two, thicc pet alligators.

But, this is reality, so we have important questions to address, the most pertinent being: "Are Gators actually assholes?", and to help Alice answer that question, we brought in native Floridian and the host of "Just the Zoo of Us" podcast: Ellen Weatherford!

They’ll be diving into all the facts: their prehistoric backstory, their sneaky hunting strategies, their surprisingly tender parenting skills — and of course, their legendary ability to look completely harmless until they absolutely aren’t. So, are Gators swampy jerks that are keen to ruin your canoe trip? Or are they just misunderstood survival experts with a mouth full of teeth?

Grab your floaties and maybe a helmet — let’s go wrestle with some gator facts!Our charity of the week this week is the brilliant and litigious: Centre for Biological Diversity, who are using the LAW to crack down on those destroying our planet. Find them at: https://www.biologicaldiversity.org/ and learn about the ways they're curb-stomping nature haters, in a lawful way.

This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Bristol Fungarium - helping you bring a little mushroom magic into your life and your health routine, with their fabulous mushroom tinctures. Find out if mushroom tinctures are the right choice for you and your health needs at: www.bristolfungarium.com.

Quick fire: what carnivore found in both Africa AND Asia is a highly intelligent, highly successful apex predator with a complex social structure? If you said Lions, then you are DEAD wrong, idiot.

Today we're talking about one of the most badass animals that you probably don't know too much about (or what you DO know is incorrect...thanks, Disney) .

Standing with Alice to present the best Hyena defence for the jury is wildlife educator, author and all around hilarious human being, Mamadou Ndiaye, who is making it his personal mission to re-write what people know about this incredible and metal-as-hell animal.

If you want to get to the bottom of whether Hyenas are TRULY assholes or not, give this episode a listen and we promise you'll come away with some epic Hyena facts and a greater appreciation for their kind. [no money back guarantees].

Our charity of the week this week is the Ngorongoro Hyena Project, based out in Tanzania, whose team are researching the Spotted Hyena clans in the crater there. Find out what they're upto and how you can help at: https://hyena-project.com/

We also have a BRAND NEW SPONSOR to the show, the fabulous fungi gurus: the Bristol Fungarium - the produers of the UK's first organic, certified medicinal mushroom tinctures! Find out how to get a bit of mushroom magic into your life at www.bristolfungarium.com!

What do you think of when you think of an Emu? Dark, sweeping hair? Eyeliner? Lip piercings? Well, I hate to blow your minds, but you're actually thinking of Emos, you absolute spoon.

Far less moody and listening to way less My Chemical Romance is the humble Emu, native to the chaotic Australia. Emus are tall, curious and make EXCELLENT Dads, so why are they on this podcast today?

Joining Alice to be the justice that Emus need is the fabulous Christian Flores - Zookeeper, Paleo-educator and Emu enthusiast. Listen as they discuss Michael Jordan, Game of Thrones and a book about how to look after captive Dinosaurs!

Our Charity of the week this week is the marvellous Bush Heritage Australia - who are fighting to keep Australia's unique flora and fauna alive and well. Join them in protecting many different species that call Australia home at: www.bushheritage.org.au.

Okay, okay. We know we're going to have to work overtime on this one, because this is a hard sell.

Yes, Rats carry diseases, cause damage, eat food that doesn't belong to them and MAYBE most people are weirdly creeped out by their tail. But they are also smart, compassionate and determined individuals, so maybe you should shut the hell up.

Here to give Rats some positive PR is the incredible Dr Evan Antin, small animals/exotic/wildlife vet, who can reassure you, from a vet side of things that they are not the evil creatures of the night that society thinks they are. Join him and Alice as they talk the Rattiest city in the world, McDonald's chocolate milkshakes and of course, one of the more famous rats: Rizzo the Rat, from the Muppets.

Our charity of the week this week is the incredible Pasadena Humane - who are working around the clock to care for the animals affected by the fires in California earlier this year. To give them a hand and protect not only abandoned pets, but also wildlife, find them on https://pasadenahumane.org/.

We are also excited to announce our NEW SPONSOR: the fabulous and hilarious Animals Anonymous. If you love animals, have a sense of humour and want to buy from a company that is giving back to conservation, check out their incredible range of merch made by former Zookeeper and animal lover: Alexis. To take a peek at their stickers, clothes and water bottles, head on over to www.animalsanonymousapparel.com.

It's hard to imagine that Alice would be poking fun at a bird with iridescent feathers, a beautiful flight pattern, and whose name LITERALLY means "little star", but here we are. It was hard to imagine that Donald Trump would turn out to be a wannabe Dictator....crazier things have happened in this timeline.

Here to discuss one of Britain's most under-the-radar birds is celebrated author, TV producer, and creator of BBC's Springwatch: Stephen Moss - who researched Starlings to such a degree that he became their official biographer, releasing a book entitled: "The Starling: A Biography".

Tune in to hear Alice and Stephen dissect the two personalities of the Starling: the one the general public see and the one it actually is. Hear them dive into topics such as the incredible Somerset murmurations, Roman augury, and of course Oasis vs Blur.

Our charity of the week this week is shielding Somerset's land/plants/animals from more climate crises: the incredible Somerset Wildlife Trust. To find out more about their journey to protect Somerset's wild spaces, visit their website at www.somersetwildlife.org.

And, as always, our superstar sponsor, Blue Panda Clothing is sponsoring this episode today. Shop with code: ALICE10 to receive 10% off of your Blue Panda purchase when you go to their online store! Get the Christmas presents done for your animal-loving pals with the help of Asshole Animals and Blue Panda using code: ALICE10! Visit their site at: www.bluepanda.co.uk for some sustainably chic designs! What are you waiting? RUN!