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Zak Sandler and I have a deeply personal and contemplative conversation about the struggles he has faced with his mental health and how he has managed to organize his life with a brain that functions in a different way. From his original diagnosis as bipolar while an undergraduate student at Yale University, to becoming a highly creative Broadway pianist for such shows as Wicked and The Color Purple, Zak has traveled the road from despair to acceptance and now to allowing his creativity to guide his response to his diagnosis. Zak will tell you that he does not have a mental illness or a disorder. For him that language implies there’s something about him that needs to be fixed. He chooses the phrase mental condition, because it indicates that his bipolar diagnosis is simply part of who he is. At core he is not broken. This distinction is how we move from shame to understanding and hopefully acceptance. That our differences, no matter how acute, are simply that - differences not deficiencies.

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Work. Where Church and State Collide.

“Should we attempt to foster meaningful, human connections and engagement in the workplace?” This is the core question of my conversation with author, keynote speaker and workplace belonging expert Smiley Poswolsky.

Whatever our individual thoughts are on this question, the facts that Smiley lays out in his latest book Friendship in the Age of Loneliness and his Harvard Business Review article Gen Z Employees are Feeling Disconnected. Here’s How Employers Can Help. are quite startling and convincing. Our church and state views of work and home may not serve the emotional needs of not only the emerging workforce, but also those of us like myself, who have been a laborer for now three decades. Simply put - no one (or rather very few) are satisfied in the workplace. If you drill down into the numbers, 70% of workers are disengaged at work. And if they aren’t resigning and job hopping (the great resignation), they just show up and do as little as possible to get a paycheck (quiet quitting). The number I found even more alarming was that 20% of those who are disengaged at work are actively working to sabotage the business from within. The negative financial impacts of the state of the modern worker range into the multiples of billions on the modern economy. If you throw in the epidemic rates of loneliness that all generations are experiencing (61% of all adults in the US according to CIGNA), we have created the perfect storm for human burnout and emotional distress.

The reality is that we spend a third of our lives at work and that is on the conservative side. As one moves up the corporate ladder, that percentage only increases. As the lines continue to blur between work and life, the dramas of our lives will continue to impact how we behave and what we do at work, and what we expect work to provide for us. The other unique feature of the modern workplace is that work is one of the few places where we still regularly interact with people who may not share our beliefs or values. We can thank technology, social media, and our highly separated and individualized social and political spheres for this phenomenon. If we aren’t making work a place where meaningful connections between people can happen, it does not bode well for the future of sharing within the great arena and marketplace of ideas outside of work.

My conversation with Smiley in many ways isn’t about work, or the devastating financial implications of the epidemic disengagement of the workforce today. At core, our conversation is about what type of world do we want to live in; do we want a world of connection and engagement, or do we not? It’s a binary choice and it is that simple. Your perspective and views on this question impact everything in our society, from work to play, from church to school, from whom we choose to value to whom we choose to forget. It is the animating question of our time and our ongoing question about what good citizenship is. What good humanity is. The answers will either bring us closer together or further stoke the flames of division and misunderstanding. On a basic, fundamental level it comes back to the "house divided" principle: we stand together, or we fall together.

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Jackie Bouvier Kennedy 

Renowned historian and author Carl Sferrazza Anthony has done the impossible. In his new book Camera Girl, The Coming of Age of Jackie Bouvier Kennedy, he has told the usually forgotten and misunderstood origin story of a woman, who accurately described herself as the art director of the 20th Century. Indeed, much of the latter half of the 1900s saw a world obsessed with First Lady Jackie Kennedy, and intrigued by her as she became Jackie Onassis. Even 60 years after she left the White House as a widow, when I walked the Hapsburg’s Schonbrunn Palace in Vienna, Austria, her name still hung in the air – like communion wine on the lips of the faithful. There, in the grand, baroque receiving room at the center of what was once one of Europe’s greatest palaces built to rival Versailles, the guide mentioned that we gawking tourists were standing in the same room where the Austrian government officials once received Mrs. Kennedy. 

But beyond the mythic images of her blood-stained pink suit from that day in Dallas in 1963, or the dark sunglasses that would become her signature look in the 1970s, was a woman who grew up and was fashioned the ultimate outside insider. A nation, and a world hung their dreams on a woman that did not exist. At least not in total. As Sferrazza Anthony uncovers in his latest work on this iconoclastic figure, she was the survivor of an abusive mother and an emotionally needy father. She was an eccentric soul who dreamed of writing bylines and headlines, not grabbing them for herself. She had a relentless, almost pathological drive to be her authentic self – individualistic. Though from the very beginning of her life, others tried corseting her into roles that she found sometimes useful, but hardly determinative or even all that interesting. 

In his latest book, Sferrazza Anthony dramatically captures her subversiveness, her incisive and self-deprecating wit, and her passion for the power of language and words that was sparked by her time studying at the Sorbonne in Paris and traveling throughout Europe. More than John Kennedy’s widow or being Jackie O., Sferrazza Anthony paints a portrait of woman who, like we the reader, was a multidimensional chameleon, and an ever-evolving human being.

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At the Edges of Jimmy’s Heart

Jimmy T. Martin lost his first wife Linmarie to cancer. She was only 29 when she died, leaving him heartbroken, lost and his childhood faith and belief in God in shambles. What did remain was his commitment to the dream of a business called Brrrn. She said of his entrepreneurial endeavor as it was unfolding in the last months of her life that it was the proudest thing that he created that she wouldn’t live to see. And not soon after that statement, she was gone.

It was with the help of his family, his friends, therapy, and his wry sense of humor, that Jimmy was slowly able to rebuild a life for himself, and with his business partner Johnny Adammic find a way to bring Brrrn to life, not once, but twice. As Covid-19 gripped the world, Jimmy and Johnny had to shutter their Brrrn Fitness Studio located in the Flatiron District in Manhattan. Another death for Jimmy to endure. 

This story, however, does have a happy ending. He finds new love with Rachel – his and Linmarie’s friend from their college years who eventually becomes his wife. He and Johnny transform their once in person studio into a thriving online fitness offering with the Brrrn Slide Board at its core. And there is even a son. Miles. A living, breathing embodiment of a life and a love that had to travel many distances to be found. Even his lost faith has been re-found as a belief in a higher power that calls him and Rachel to serve other people and believe in themselves. But there, at the edges of Jimmy’s heart, is also the wisdom of experience and loss that filters through his life that you cannot help but see, hear, and feel. It is there when he remembers Linmarie. It is there at the mention of the 23,000 people who will no longer walk through the doors of his and Johnny’s fitness studio. 

More than giving up and feeling sorry for himself, Jimmy leaves us with a compelling question that underpins our conversation and his life: What happens when you show up and start living your truth and navigate all that life is? Jimmy’s answers are quite profound. When you show up in truth you choose to be made better by the painful experiences, not to be consumed by them. When you navigate all that life is and will be, “You really find out who you are by the obstacles that you’re facing.”

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Blurring the Lines

Hugh Huffaker is serial entrepreneur who follows the passions within him to guide his choices in business, and as you will hear, in his life. He is the Founder of Cause+Medic a consciously crafted CBD luxury wellness product line that he created to help relieve his mother’s legs spasms that she was experiencing from Multiple Sclerosis. And he co-founded Clean Republic, an EPA certified disinfectant that harnesses the power of nature and technology into cleaning products. That’s in addition to owning his own spa in Bueno Vista, CO, his pursuits as a jazz guitarist, and at one point – working as an accountant. 

A true Renaissance Man who defies easy labels, Hugh’s life and career journey have been a series of taking risks, listening to his unique internal voice as an entrepreneur, and not being afraid to fail. His success, according to Hugh, is based upon his ability to keep an open heart; say yes and seize the unplanned and unexpected events that always appear in our lives; and be humble enough to ask people for help for guidance. As for that failure thing, Hugh believes we shouldn’t fear it because it is inevitable in business (and in life). And more than a source of embarrassment or regret, he views failure as a tool for learning. He says, “Everybody questions everything when you start a business. You’re going to get questioned and you’re going to fail. But the failure’s good because you’re going to keep learning.”

The lines between his life and his career blur and inform one another. And that authentic integration has led to his seemingly quick accomplishments in crowded and competitive industries like the spa industry, pesticides and now disinfectants. How has managed to carve out this unique and potentially surprising space for himself? Hugh says, “I think people appreciate when they can tell that you’re being genuine, putting yourself out there even if it’s not the status quo.”

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To Be Heard, To Be Seen, To Matter

Shaunda McDill is the newly appointed Managing Director of the Pittsburgh Public Theater. She is a rare type of new leader coming of age in the modern American Theater – black women who are ascending to top roles in major theatrical institutions across the country. She joins the ranks of theatrical trailblazers like Nataki Garrett, Artistic Director at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival; Dominique Morisseau, Executive Artistic Producer at Detroit Public Theater; Patricia McGregor, Artistic Director at New York Theater Workshop; and Hana Sharif, the Augustin Family Artistic Director at Repertory Theater of St. Louis. All wrestling with that question of how do we create space within the canon of the theater to make as much room as possible for a multitude of voices, perspectives, and stories to emerge that are as diverse and as expansive as is the landscape of the country today. Because in the final analysis, it comes down to Representation. And whose stories get to be heard, to be seen and to matter.

For Shaunda, her answer to that question has its roots in her nontraditional journey to the Pittsburgh Public Theater. As a young girl her life as an artist began by performing in skits at the local Red Cross to highlight HIV/AIDS for kids, and reciting Bible verses in the Easter Pageants at her church. Along the way, she was mentored by such theater and literary luminaries as Ntozake Shange and August Wilson, and influenced by the words of Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, and Toni Morrison. She formed her own theater company called Demaskus – that unapologetically creates space for the underserved and underrepresented people in the theater to have the artistic license to succeed and fail, and to explore freely their artistry on their own terms. For as Shaunda says, “It is necessary for us to tell our own stories if they are going to be told. We must bear witness to what happens and what has transpired in our lives.” 

She has built a life buttressed by her strong, unshakeable faith and her belief that her approach to creativity isn’t about struggling to convince others of her humanity, but rather a struggle to produce work and art that reflects her vision of the world. Her life and her career are not exercises in looking outward, rather they are the result of Shaunda looking inward into her innermost soul.

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Persistence in the Face of Struggle

You know we are living in cynical times when close to half our politicians and arbiters of the social and political debate tout conspiracy theories and polarizing dialogue for what can only be seen as financial gain, fame, and power. As we have democratized our information platforms, we have opened the door to the rampant irresponsibility and untruths that permeate the ether of our current social context. We know this to be true as good reporting, thorough investigations and extensive court trials reveal the extent to which some in the media and in the government have, for example, deliberately spread mistruths about the 2020 election being stolen or the mass shooting at Sandy Hook not being a real event. They engage in this dangerous posturing for ratings and quite frankly survival, but we are all paying a price for their profound negligence. 

Juxtapose the Machiavellian maneuverings of those above to what I can only describe as the heroic efforts of Connor Schoen, who has founded an organization with his colleague Tony Hsu called Breaktime. At Breaktime, Connor and Tony, and the team of stalwarts they lead, battle with what can only be called an epidemic of homelessness in the youth population in Boston, MA. While the statistics and numbers of homeless youth are startling in Boston, those impacted most by youth homelessness are not unfamiliar to us. They are LGBTQ+ youth. And if you are a black, gay male your chances increase significantly of experiencing homelessness. They are the mentally ill. They are BIPOC and their families. They are youth emancipated from the Foster Care System. Those folks who often exists on the margins.

When I speak with Connor about this epidemic impacting so many lives, he has had a passion for this type of work his whole life. That passion only increased when, during his process of coming out as a pansexual person while he was a student at Harvard University, he was working with a shelter that serviced homeless youth, most of whom were kicked out of their homes because they were LGBTQ+. Connor saw the irony of his own situation, that there but for the grace of having parents, brothers and a support system sustaining him through his process of embracing his identity, that homeless youth could have been him. It was a turning point that brought into focus for Connor what he should be doing with his life. And he boldly walked in the direction of that calling and co-founded Breaktime.

And while Generation Z takes a bad rap for being entitled and consumed with Snapchat, Connor and his team of GenZers are fighting for legislative and social solutions to a real problem that if you walk down any street in most cities you cannot help but see – our homeless populations are increasing as are the numbers of young people experiencing homelessness at some point in their lives. And once they get into the cycle of homelessness, it is increasingly difficulty to break that cycle. So, while our leaders wrangle over who they can kick off which committees in Washington DC and subpoena power, the PEOPLE (we who are on the ground here in real life) need real support, and real solutions to real problems.

It's people like Connor who are teaching us what inspirational and transformative leadership is. What the good fight looks like, even in the quicksand-like maze of legislative agendas. As he says, “Persistence in the face of struggle to create change is so important. It’s so important to remain committed to something that you know is right even if it feels like nothing is moving.”

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Jumping Into the Unknown - Happily

Nigel Franklyn is one of the founders of Moss Wellness Consulting. He is also the once writer and journalist, now painter and self-described Spa Whisperer who was recently featured on "The Tamron Hall Show" discussing his unprecedented career in the spa industry.  But a more accurate description of Nigel beyond his job titles is a person who lives a life of artistry and takes leaps of faith into the unknown.  As he says, “I jump off cliffs now and I don’t worry because I really believe fully from my direct experiences that either I will find something soft to land on, or someone will teach me how to fly.” 

His global career as a spa and wellness aficionado began in Atlanta, GA when his life was impacted by a spa therapist who in one service gave him such an overwhelming feeling of nurture, safety, and surrender, that it changed the trajectory of his career and life. He had gone to that spa on assignment as a writer and journalist but left knowing from that moment his life would be devoted to bringing that sense of nurture and wellbeing to people all over the world. It was a bold, unexpected move, but it was a leap of faith that was characteristic of his life – lived stepping into the unknown and trusting that he would land safely. 

His paintings too, like his work in the spa and wellness worlds, are bold and brash, yet they tell a very personal story. A story of a man who lost his parents as a teenager. A man who stepped into the essence of his identity at six years old when he declared he wanted to marry Superman. A man who believes that to receive the benefits from something or learn something, you must surrender to the process. Because in the spaces of surrender we find faith, belief, and hope.

Or as Nigel says, “In order to nurture something, you have to get it to a space of surrender.  Because that surrender is where we get to really do our best work. When we’re not engaged in the battle with self, or the battle with other people.”

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Your Word is Your Bond

Ask Chris Hetherington what learned from his 11 years in the NFL playing fullback for teams like the Cincinnati Bengals, the Indianapolis Colts and the San Francisco 49ers and he will tell you he learned to be a pro, be accountable, to keep his word, and the importance of getting a good education.

After smashing wedges on the gridiron, he took those lessons learned and then went on to have a career as a CEO in financial services and now today he is the Founder & CEO of Peels CBD, which is on the road to becoming a major disruptive force in the CBD product market. The line is formulated from orange peels and has no traces of hemp, cannabis, or THC and can attract consumers who may have negative associations with traditional CBD products and marijuana. (How it all works he will explain in our conversation.) 

Along his unpredictable path, he discovered the Stoics, yoga and meditation. And now this elite athlete who once crushed it on the football field is now meditating twice a day and learning to breathe through life as opposed to making things happen through brute force. The through line in Chris’ remarkable life is his devotion to family - he calls his mom his hero, has profound respect for his father and looks up to his older brother. Today, he loves his two sons unabashedly, and along with his wife is setting the foundation for them to have a life filled with options, responsibility and love.

Chris lives his life with physical and mental discipline, a commitment to team, and being a man of his word. All lessons he learned as a professional athlete that can be summed up in one phrase - If you say you’re going to do, then do it. 

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Love is Doing the Impossible

Travis Suit did the impossible. He paddled boarded 80 miles from Bimini to South Florida to raise money for his daughter. He describes that grueling time in the ocean as crossing a Blue Desert. As he says with tears lovingly filling his eyes, “I can’t help but see how beautiful adversity can be for transforming the perception of life into just a moment-by-moment miracle. I never knew the greatest gift in my life was going to be my daughter and this disease.” His daughter’s name is Piper. Her disease is Cystic Fibrosis. A condition which leaves those who suffer with it, fighting to simply breathe. Her life and his were forever transformed by her diagnosis when she was just four years old. At that young age, Piper had to physically and emotionally face the significant ups and downs of her health struggles which at one point led to her doctors installing a feeding tube in her stomach. Travis had to figure out how to keep his daughter alive and keep himself clear about supporting her through a disease that is described as terminal. He accomplished both by being honest with Piper about the seriousness of her situation. By learning to be bold in the face of fear. By embracing the need for surrender in his own life and believing that something greater would come from Piper’s diagnosis.

That something greater Travis hoped for was his establishing of a nonprofit called Piper’s Angels Foundationthat is helping Piper and the thousands of other people like her, live fuller and hopefully longer lives with Cystic Fibrosis. An organization that “transforms pain into light, grief into beauty and breath into song.”

But what comes through in our conversation is that the transformational hope that Travis talks about with such depth of emotion did not come effortlessly or quickly. He spent years searching for the solutions that were going to help him find his way to the unbound peace that he feels when he discusses Piper’s diagnosis today. It isn’t an easy peace that he describes. It is a peace he had to find through watching his daughter suffer in pain in hospitals. It is a peace that had to come with his acceptance. Acceptance of all the suffering and those who suffer in the world. Acceptance that as he looks for more answers, he will surely find more questions – “What if I fail?” 

It is ultimately a peace that comes from the big lesson that Piper taught him that married the mission with the man. As Travis says, “She showed up here to teach so many people what community and love is.” And to see God in everyone and everything. 

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