💡 What really happens inside an ADHD relationship, and how do couples break the cycle?

In this episode of the Attention Different Podcast, we sit down with Melissa Orlov — leading expert on ADHD-impacted relationships and author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage — to unpack the hidden patterns that shape communication, emotional safety, conflict, and partnership when ADHD is in the mix.

Melissa breaks down the core ADHD relationship cycle: how inconsistent executive functioning, forgetfulness, time blindness, and overwhelm collide with a non-ADHD partner’s anxiety, hyper-responsibility, or fear — creating a painful parent–child dynamic that neither partner wants, yet both fall into.

From medication safety and car-seat arguments to missed transitions and chore distribution, Melissa brings clarity, compassion, and actionable guidance to the hardest issues couples face.

She shows how to shift from “managing your partner’s ADHD” (impossible) → to managing the system together, based on strengths, safety, and radical acceptance.

And importantly, she explores the difference between:

- Wants
- Desires
- Deal breakers

 … and how understanding these distinctions can save a relationship rather than sink it.

✨ Highlights

✔️ Why ADHD partners don’t “forget on purpose” (and why it still feels personal)
✔️ How resentment builds when one partner becomes the “manager”
✔️ Why you can’t make your partner change (but you can redesign the system together)
✔️ The difference between equal and equitable in household roles
✔️ How radical acceptance creates connection, not resignation
✔️ Why ownership, not control, is the foundation of healthy partnership

This episode is for anyone who’s ever asked: “Is this a relationship problem… or an ADHD pattern I don’t understand yet?”

📺 Watch the full conversation with Melissa Orlov on Attention Different YouTube:

👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 Hold on tightly, let go lightly.

Sometimes the hardest part of ADHD adulting is figuring out which habits help us, and which ones quietly harm us.

In this Fireside Chat, we sit down with Lindsay Pitre—director, producer, twin, and lifelong ADHDer—to explore the New Year tension between resolutions, routines, relapse, and real-life coping. Diagnosed in her teens and now navigating her 30s, Lindsay reflects on the habits she clings to for comfort (like her beloved Diet Coke), the ones she’s learning to release, and the decades-long journey of building real coping mechanisms after years of being handed only medication.

In this inspiring talk, we dig into the emotional anchors behind our behaviors, the social pressure to fit in, and the often-overlooked health implications ADHDers face—from impulsive habits to addiction-adjacent coping. Lindsay’s story moves from humor, to honesty, to a deeper truth: some habits protect us, some soothe us, and some slowly hurt us. And, learning the difference is the work of adulting.

✨ Highlights ✨
 ✔️ADHD “comfort habits” and how they form (Diet Coke, nicotine, sugar, etc.)
 ✔️Why overstimulation hits ADHDers harder, and how Lindsay masks in large rooms
 ✔️“Hold on tightly, let go lightly”: the habits worth keeping and worth releasing
 ✔️How impulsivity and compulsive behavior impact long-term health
 ✔️Relapse, self-compassion, and learning not to shame yourself
 ✔️Why support systems, therapists, and healthy partners matter

This episode is for anyone who’s ever said: “I know this habit isn’t helping me… but it’s the only thing keeping me steady.”

📺 Watch the full Fireside Chat with Lindsay Pitre now on Attention Different YouTube:
 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 Sometimes the most effective way to stay consistent with ADHD is to gamify your routines so progress feels rewarding, not punishing.

In this episode of Late, Not Less, host Devin Pitts-Rogers sits down with Casey Henderson—humanist, autodidact, disabled veteran, and proud ADHD enthusiast—to explore how adults with ADHD can create structure through external systems, gamification, and intentional strategy rather than willpower or shame.

Casey shares how rediscovering his ADHD diagnosis in adulthood reframed everything, from financial planning and energy management to how he sets goals, stays consistent, and navigates chronic pain. Together, they break down why neurodivergent adults thrive when structure is visible, playful, and self-designed.

Together, Devin and Casey unpack how ADHD shows up in daily life, from work and relationships to caffeine habits, market obsession, and the art of staying grounded in an overstimulated world.

✨ Highlights ✨

 ☑️ Why ADHD adults thrive with externalized systems and gamified goals.
 ☑️ How pain, distraction, and ambition coexist in neurodivergent lives.
 ☑️ The overlap between ADHD focus patterns and financial strategy.
 ☑️ Why “long-term play” thinking can be an ADHD strength.
 ☑️ The power of radical acceptance and finding peace with imperfection.

More than an ADHD story, this is a reminder to build systems that work for your brain, not the one the world expects from you.

📺 Watch the full episode of Late, Not Less on Attention Different YouTube:
 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 "I have a habit of lying to myself and telling myself it's self-care."

What if the comfort zone you've built is actually keeping you from the life you want?

In this Fireside Chat, we sit down with Sam—an HR professional at a Big Four consulting firm who was diagnosed with ADHD at 38. She opens up about flying under the radar as a "daydreamer type," the unique ways ADHD shows up in women, and her journey to building the connected, authentic life she's been searching for as she approaches 40.

🌲 Filmed in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, this conversation explores the gap between self-care and avoidance, the power of saying yes when it's easier to stay home, and why coping strategies often look like success from the outside.

✨ Highlights ✨

🏠 Why looking "organized" doesn't mean you don't have ADHD—it means you've mastered coping strategies.
👥 The post-COVID comfort trap: when staying home feels like self-care but keeps you from community.
🎯 Process goals vs. outcome goals: Why "saying yes to new things" matters more than the end result.
💭 How ADHD in women gets missed.
🌱 Radical acceptance as a non-linear journey: three steps forward, two steps back—and that's still progress.

This episode is for anyone who's ever cancelled plans an hour before, justified it as "overwhelm," and wondered why they can't seem to build the community they crave.

📺 Watch the full Fireside Chat with Sam now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

ADHD isn't just about converting intentions into actions—it's about learning to make the conversion easier, more honest, and a whole lot less painful.

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Ari Tuckman—psychologist, author of five books (including the brand new ADHD Productivity Manual), international presenter, and longtime friend and colleague. Ari has been a profound thought leader in our ADHD community for over a decade, and this conversation is packed with his trademark wisdom, humor, and actionable strategies.

From managing shame spirals and pre-deciding your way out of temptation, to understanding why "by the time you feel it, it's too late," Ari breaks down the real mechanics of ADHD in everyday life.

This episode is equal parts validating, practical, and deeply relatable. Whether you're struggling to start, finish, or simply show up as the person you want to be, Ari's insights will help you close that gap between intention and action.

✨ Highlights ✨

• ADHD as a disorder of converting intentions into actions—and why that matters more than attention alone
• The art of pre-deciding: how to set yourself up before temptation strikes
• "By the time you feel it, it's too late"—on deadlines, dopamine, and time machines
• Why shame and guilt make everything harder (and how to interrupt the spiral)
• Bite the bullet: accepting that the task may be mandatory, but the suffering isn't
• Managing your environment > relying on willpower
• The lies we tell ourselves: "I'll remember it," "This will only take a minute," and the sneaky power of the word "just"
• How feeling the future can help you act in the present
• Why your ADHD doesn't invent new problems—it just exacerbates the universal ones

This episode is for anyone trying to show up as the person they intend to be, one decision at a time. We're already plotting part two, because there's so much more to unpack with Ari.

🌐 Find Ari online: AdultADHDBook.com
🎟️ Join us IRL: CHADD ADHD Conference | Kansas City | November 15–17 | TheADHDConference.org

📺 Watch the full conversation with Dr. Ari Tuckman now on Attention Different YouTube:
 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 Why are so many adults suddenly getting diagnosed with ADHD, and what does it mean for our future?

Today, hosts Stephen Tonti and Aaron Smith dive into one of the biggest mental health shifts of our time: the massive rise in adult ADHD diagnoses since the pandemic.

From telehealth loosening restrictions to TikTok stories going viral, from parents realizing their kids’ struggles mirrored their own to women reporting symptoms at historic rates—the numbers are staggering. New adult ADHD diagnoses rose 53.8% between 2019 and 2021, with women seeing an 84% increase, and adults aged 30-45 experiencing a jaw-dropping 91% rise.

But behind the stats are lived realities. This episode gets real about:

• Why ADHD self-disclosure has become normalized (and what’s lost when stigma drops).
• How telehealth changed the landscape, opening access while raising questions of misdiagnosis.
• ADHD vs. Autism traits: where they overlap, where they diverge, and what “AuDHD” means for adults today.
• Emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, and why neurodivergent adults are more vulnerable in chaotic times.
• The hard truth about boredom, pain, and self-soothing—why ADHDers often struggle with substances and overstimulation.

This is more than a conversation about statistics: it’s about identity, community, and what it means to live through an era where ADHD is finally being seen, named, and understood.

📺 Watch the full roundtable now on Attention Different YouTube:
 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡Is ADHD ultimately good, ultimately bad, or ultimately neither good nor bad, but still largely misunderstood? 

In this episode, we are thrilled to visit with Dr. Roberto Olivardia—a clinical psychologist, lecturer at Harvard Medical School, expert on ADHD, dyslexia, and co-occurring conditions, and a dear friend and colleague of ours. 

From the challenges of executive dysfunction and procrastination, to the hidden strengths of creativity, imagination, empathy, and hyperfocus, Dr. Olivardia unpacks what it really means to live (and thrive) with ADHD. Always taking education and advocacy that “extra mile,” Olivardia also discusses ADHD as it “cooccurs” with related conditions like dyslexia, anxiety, Tourette’s, and depression.

Looking for emotionally charged and powerful true stories? Olivardia is one of the greatest storytellers we know: from his mother’s fierce risk-taking to his son’s early musical brilliance, he shows how the same brain chemistry that makes life difficult can also spark resilience, innovation, and deep connection.

✨ Highlights ✨

• ADHD and dyslexia as “two sides of the same coin”
• Why boredom fuels creativity and imagination in ADHD brains
• How hyperfocus can transform struggle into flow and purpose
• Why dyslexia can sometimes unlock unique musical ability
• The importance of treating ADHD challenges first, so strengths can shine

This episode is for anyone navigating ADHD, dyslexia, or other co-occurring conditions and wrestling with the question: What does it mean to be built differently?

We hope that you find this episode as awesome as we did recording it… we feel extra special about it because, earnestly, Dr. Olivardia holds an extra special place in our hearts. 💕 

📺 Watch the full conversation with Dr. Roberto Olivardia now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 From Hustle to Burnout and Back Again

What happens when the drive to “do more” collides with ADHD? In this episode, Aaron and Stephen sit down with Eric Tivers, licensed clinical social worker, founder of ADHD Rewired, and host of one of the most successful ADHD podcasts with 500+ episodes.

Eric shares his raw journey from 90-hour work weeks, scaling too fast, and losing $100K in a year, to confronting burnout, exploring his identity, and rediscovering what it means to live with sustainable energy.

🎙️ Together we explore:

• The overlooked signs of burnout ADHDers often miss
• Why hustle culture is toxic for neurodivergent brains
• How perfectionism and pressure push us past our limits
• Learning to hit the “Nope” button and let go lightly
• Re-centering on values, community, and sustainable energy

Eric’s story goes beyond productivity hacks: it’s about survival, healing, and choosing life beyond burnout.

🎧 Watch the full episode now and drop a comment: what’s your telltale sign that burnout is creeping in? 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 What happens when misinformation about ADHD and autism comes straight from the top?
When public officials spread conspiracy theories and dismiss neurodivergent lives as “less than,” the impact isn’t just political—it’s deeply personal and dangerous.

In this roundtable episode, Stephen Tonti, Devin Pitts-Rogers, and Aaron Smith unpack the rhetoric and policies of RFK Jr. as US Secretary of Health and Human Services, exploring how vaccine conspiracies, wellness farm proposals, and anti-medication agendas fuel fear, stigma, and real-world harm.

From historical parallels with eugenics to the lived pain of hearing children devalued on national television, the hosts dive into why these attacks on neurodivergent communities matter to everyone. With both anger and humor, they call for solidarity, truth, and community as antidotes to fear and misinformation.

✨ Highlights ✨

• Why linking vaccines to autism and ADHD is harmful pseudoscience
• How dismissive rhetoric about autism/ADHD echoes eugenics and dehumanization
• The real risks of pulling people off necessary psychiatric medications
• Historical lessons: from “refrigerator mothers” to forced sterilizations.
• Why solidarity and community voices are essential for protecting neurodivergent rights

This episode is for anyone who’s ever wondered: What’s at stake when misinformation meets policy—and what can we do about it?

📺 Watch the full roundtable with Stephen, Devin, and Aaron now on Attention Different YouTube:
 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

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Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 What if laughing at yourself was the key to radical self-acceptance?

For years, Ron Capalbo masked his ADHD, relied on urgency to get things done, and pushed himself until panic attacks forced him to stop. What followed was a complete reframe of how he approached ADHD through humor, creativity, and compassion.

In this episode of the Attention Different Podcast, we sit down with Ron Capalbo—ADHD coach, content creator, and founder of the nonprofit The Monoceros Initiative. Ron shares how his middle school diagnosis was buried under stigma, how urgency and “try harder” became his only system, and how rediscovering play, imagination, and self-acceptance changed everything

From basketball hoops in his bedroom to viral TikToks about three-day-old coffee mugs, Ron shows how embracing the quirks we often hide can become powerful fuel for connection, creativity, and growth.

✨ Highlights ✨
  • Why “eat the frog” doesn’t work for ADHD brains, and why “eat the cake” does.
  • How urgency and shame trap ADHD adults in cycles of burnout.
  • Using childhood play and imagination as a real motivation strategy.
  • Why laughter is an antidote to shame, and the start of radical acceptance.
  • Ron’s mission is to support under-resourced ADHD coaches through The Monoceros Initiative.

This episode is for anyone who’s tired of hacks that don’t stick and ready to embrace ADHD with humor, authenticity, and self-compassion.

📺 Watch the full episode with Ron Capalbo now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 ‪https://www.youtube.com/@attentiondifferent

Send us a text

We are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.

If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe!

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Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey
• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com
• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different
• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent
• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent