Attract Don't Chase with Chitra Rochlani

We all know the feeling of being "stuck." It’s that invisible barrier that holds us back, a pattern we can’t seem to break no matter how hard we try. But what if the root of that "stuckness" lies deeper than we think, in wounds we never even recognized as trauma?

I recently had a powerful conversation with my friend Stacey Uhrig, a Trauma Care Practitioner, about the subtle, often overlooked ways our past shapes our present. Her work dives beneath the surface to help people find freedom from patterns that have held them captive for decades.

Redefining Trauma: It's Not What You Think

When we hear the word "trauma," our minds often jump to overt, catastrophic events. But Stacey offers a broader, more inclusive definition. The dictionary defines trauma as an "unhealed physical or emotional wound" or "injury." This means that many of us are walking around with unhealed injuries we’ve been told to ignore.

Stacey points out that while some people grow up without emotional or mental injury, many others were hurt and didn't know how to express it. This is especially true for psychological and emotional pain, which often gets bypassed. Have you ever been told:

* "You're making too big of a deal out of that."

* "Why can't you just let it go?"

Many of us internalize these messages, gaslighting ourselves into believing we shouldn't be upset. We might tell ourselves, "I have a roof over my head. I never go hungry. What do I have to be upset about?" Even those who grew up in wealthy households with yearly vacations can carry deep wounds from having an emotionally immature or narcissistic parent. These experiences can leave us feeling unseen, unheard, and unsafe, even without overt abuse.

The key takeaway is that trauma isn't a competition. Your nervous system doesn't rank traumatic events; it simply assesses what feels safe and what doesn’t. As Stacey puts it, the trauma isn't just the event itself, but "living life through the lens of how you interpreted that moment."

A Journey Guided by Lived Experience

Stacey’s path to becoming a trauma specialist was born from her own experiences. "I am my own client," she shared, recalling a past filled with anxiety, two nervous breakdowns, and years of feeling disconnected from her body despite knowing intellectually what was wrong.

Her healing journey began to shift dramatically when she discovered modalities that connected her mind and body. Now, she brings a robust toolbox to her clients as a trauma-trained practitioner—a distinction she notes is very different from being simply "trauma-informed." Her methods include:

* Parts Work (Internal Family Systems): Identifying the adaptive parts of ourselves we developed for survival that may now be keeping us stuck.

* Polyvagal Theory: Understanding the link between these internal "parts" and our nervous system's responses.

* Rapid Transformational Therapy: A form of hypnotherapy used to get to the subconscious root of a persistent behavior or obstacle.

Healing Through Reading: Introducing Soulful Chapters

For Stacey, a major turning point came not from a therapy session, but from a book. During her second nervous breakdown in her early 40s, someone gave her Brené Brown's Daring Greatly. The impact was profound. "I just learned more from that book than I did from 20 years of therapy," she recalls. This ignited a passion for healing through literature, proving that deep wisdom could be accessible and transformative.

This is why I am so incredibly honored to announce that Stacey will be bringing this passion to Align, my new initiative designed to be a "gym for your mind and your soul." Stacey will be facilitating Soulful Chapters, a unique, trauma-informed book club for our members.

This isn't your average book club. Instead of rushing through a book a month, Soulful Chapters will dive deep into just a few chapters at a time, allowing for true processing and integration. The sessions will function like group coaching, creating a safe space to discuss the emotions and patterns the books bring to the surface.

Stacey gave a perfect example of how this works. When moderating discussions on Mel Robbins' The Let Them Theory, she noticed that the simple advice to "let go of control" made many people feel physically sick or ashamed when they couldn't do it. Stacey was able to reframe this, explaining that for many, the need to control isn't a mindset flaw—it's a nervous system response learned in a chaotic past where control equaled safety. The theory isn't something you fail at; it's something you work toward as you heal.

That is the power of discussing these concepts in a space held by a trauma-trained specialist. It's an opportunity to gain introspection, see your belief systems more clearly, and do the deep inner work required to heal.

Get Aligned

As we start to declutter our minds from these unhealed wounds, we create space to become truly aligned with ourselves and the universe. It’s about building a connection so strong that you can finally feel that the universe has your back.

I invite you to join us on this journey. It’s heavy work, but it’s the most rewarding work you’ll ever do.

To learn more about Stacey and her incredible work, visit her website at flipyourmindset.com or follow her on Instagram at @StaceyUhrig.

And to join us in Soulful Chapters and other transformative classes, keep an eye out for the launch of Align. Let's get healed. Let's get Aligned.

It’s time to start training your soul.

Join us in Align. Our doors are open, and your community is waiting.

Learn more and become a founding member here: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/alignlab

Let's start our weeks with intention, together.

With love, Chitra

I think we can all relate to that Sunday evening feeling. The slow creep of anxiety as the weekend fades, replaced by the pressure of the week ahead. We wake up Monday morning already behind, reacting to emails, deadlines, and demands. Our lives feel less like something we’re designing and more like something that’s happening to us.

For years, I’ve felt this disconnect. I see it everywhere. We live in a world where we’re hyper-connected through our phones, scrolling through endless feeds, yet many of us feel profoundly lonely. As I said in my latest podcast episode, "we have this illusion of being so connected, but it's not real."

We're missing the simple, sacred act of being seen, heard, and held in a community. The stress levels are not natural for our bodies.

So, I decided to do something about it.

I recently sat down with the incredible Rachel Rema, a Women's Empowerment Coach and Mindset Mentor, to talk about this very thing. Her journey into this work, like for so many in the healing space, began with her own struggles—physical health issues, stress, and anxiety that led her to yoga, and eventually, to facilitating powerful circles for others.

During our conversation, an analogy came up that clicked everything into place. We both realized we were talking about building a gym for the mind and the soul.

Think about it. We understand that physical health requires consistency. You don’t go to the gym for one weekend a year and expect to be fit. You show up every week, you build momentum, and you see substantial change over time.

Why aren't we applying the same logic to our inner world?

This is the entire philosophy behind Align, the new community I’m launching. It’s a space to put in the reps for your mental and spiritual well-being, consistently, every single week. It's a place to move from a state of frantic doing to intentional being.

One of the foundational practices in Align will be led by Rachel herself: The Monday Manifesting Circle.

When I first heard "Monday morning," I’ll admit I was skeptical. Who has time on the most hectic day of the week? But as Rachel explained, that’s precisely why it’s so powerful.

"The most important day of my week is Monday," she said. "This is how you're coming up with the first impression of your week. How do I build intention? How do I get grounded?"

It’s not about adding another overwhelming task to your to-do list. It’s about creating a pause. A moment to check in with yourself, get curious, and decide how you want to feel and show up for the next seven days. It's about choosing which outlet to plug into: the one labeled "stress and scarcity," or the one labeled "purpose and presence."

During the podcast, Rachel gave us a taste of this magic. She pulled a card for me from the Sacred Traveler deck. As she shuffled, a card literally jumped out: "Unknown Territory: Exactly where you need to be."

Chills.

For anyone starting a new venture, a new life chapter, or simply facing the uncertainty of a new week, that message is a life raft. The card’s message was a profound reminder: "Instead of dismay because you're in unknown territory, celebrate that you're expanding and growing by leaps and bounds... Trust that all is well. You are where you should be."

This is the work. It’s taking a few minutes to connect with a deeper truth before the chaos of the day takes over. It’s having a community to reflect that truth back to you.

The cost of not doing this? As Rachel put it, you’re probably already living it. Feeling frazzled, disconnected, snapping at loved ones, and crumbling when life’s bigger challenges hit because your foundation isn’t strong.

We build that foundation not in isolation, but together. By showing up, sharing our truth, and witnessing the journey of others, we build a resilience that can carry us through anything.

If you feel that pull—that desire to stop reacting and start living with intention—then I want to personally invite you to the gym.

Connect with Rachel Rema: You can learn more about Rachel and her incredible work with women's circles, retreats, and coaching on her website:

https://rachelrema.com/

It’s time to start training your soul.

Join us in Align. Our doors are open, and your community is waiting.

Learn more and become a founding member here: https://www.fitwarriorlife.com/alignlab

Let's start our weeks with intention, together.

With love, Chitra

You know that sinking feeling, don't you?

When you realize you're dating another version of your ex. When your new boss turns out to be just as dismissive as the last one. When you discover your latest friend is yet another energy vampire who takes but never gives.

It's like the universe is playing some cosmic joke on you, sending the same test over and over until you finally pass it.

But what if I told you this isn't a cruel joke at all? What if these patterns are actually your soul's way of asking for growth?

The Mystery of Karmic Connections

Here's the truth that most people miss: The people who trigger you the most are often your greatest teachers.

Karmic relationships aren't random accidents or bad luck. They're energetic contracts we make at a soul level connections we draw into our lives because there's a lesson we desperately need to learn.

Think about it. Why does the partner who "doesn't listen" always seem to find you? Why does the boss who "undervalues you" keep showing up in different companies? Why does the friend who "takes more than they give" appear in every social circle?

Because your soul is asking for growth. And growth rarely happens in comfort zones.

The Pattern Behind the Pain

These karmic connections always start with friction. They press our buttons, trigger our insecurities, and force us to confront the parts of ourselves we'd rather ignore.

The partner who mirrors your deepest insecurities back to you? They're showing you where your self-worth needs healing.

The colleague who constantly tests your patience? They're teaching you about boundaries and self-respect.

The friend who drains your energy? They're revealing your patterns around people-pleasing and saying no.

When things are going great, we're not paying attention to our soul—we're just feeding our ego. It's only in discomfort that we break old patterns and step into our power.

The Question That Changes Everything

Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me?" (the victim question), try asking:

"What is this here to teach me?"

This single shift in perspective transforms you from a victim of circumstances into a student of life. It moves you from reactive to curious, from powerless to empowered.

Let's say you keep attracting controlling partners. Instead of cursing your bad luck, ask: What is this pattern trying to show me about reclaiming my power and setting boundaries?

Maybe you were raised to be a people-pleaser. Maybe you learned early that your worth came from making others happy. This lifetime, your soul chose to learn about personal sovereignty—and controlling partners are your teachers, showing you exactly where you give your power away.

How to Break the Karmic Cycle

Here's where the warrior mindset comes in. Instead of fighting these relationships, get curious about them:

* Why did I choose this person to come into my life?

* What patterns do I keep seeing?

* What triggers do I keep having?

* How can I respond differently this time?

The magic question that stops the pattern cold: "Do I have to be right, or do I want to be happy?"

When you start asking these questions and shift your perspective, something beautiful happens. You stop clashing with others and start learning from them. Eventually, you release the karmic tie because you've learned the lesson.

You might even find yourself grateful for the role they played in your growth.

The Doormat Who Found Her Voice

Consider someone who's been suppressed their whole life—dominated at home, overlooked at work, taken advantage of in friendships. They keep attracting people who treat them like a doormat until finally, they reach their breaking point: "I can't take this anymore. I need to speak up."

But here's the deeper truth: They chose these experiences. In this human form, with this mind and voice, they have the opportunity to heal their soul's relationship with personal power in a way that wasn't possible in the spirit world.

This human life is a gift—it gives us the ability to communicate, share our truth, and heal our deepest wounds so our souls can evolve.

The Liberation of Understanding

The more karmic ties we resolve, the lighter we become. Our energy elevates, and it becomes easier to attract what we actually want in life.

Not all karmic connections are difficult, by the way. Sometimes you attract an amazing partner and do incredible work together. But often, we're dealing with relationships we eventually need to release—and each release elevates our consciousness.

Your Next Step

The next time someone triggers you or challenges you, don't immediately try to prove them wrong or yourself right.

Pause.

Ask yourself: What could be the lesson here? What is this person triggering me to explore within myself?

When you approach every conflict and karmic connection as an opportunity for soul growth, you extract the gift from the pain. The lesson completes, the pattern dissolves, and you're ready for your next level of evolution.

The Questions That Free You

Your relationships are some of your most important teachers in this lifetime. The sooner you understand why you attracted your partner, your boss, your difficult family member, or that toxic friend, the sooner you'll be free.

Free in your mind. Free in your soul. Free to rise higher.

So ask yourself:

* What are they here to teach me?

* What are they here to challenge in me?

* How is this relationship an opportunity for my growth?

Sometimes we look back years later and think, "If that person hadn't said no to me, if that relationship hadn't ended, if that boss hadn't pushed me, I never would have taken the next step."

Every karmic connection is an opportunity. The question is: Are you ready to see it?

What karmic relationship taught you the biggest lesson? I'd love to hear your story in the comments below. Sometimes sharing our experiences helps others recognize their own patterns and find their path to freedom.

Ready to dive deeper into your spiritual growth journey? Subscribe to get my latest insights on breaking free from limiting patterns, elevating your consciousness, and creating the life your soul came here to live.

Like this post? Share it with someone who might need to hear this message today.

If these ideas resonate with you and you'd like to continue the conversation on finding inner peace and living a more compassionate life, I invite you to follow my journey on Instagram. Join the community @mindbodyspiritwarrior for more daily reflections and inspiration.

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/mindbodyspiritwarrior/

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.

Have you ever caught yourself being too much of something?

Too positive. Too excited. Too much in control. Too cautious. Too guarded.

Maybe you're the one with the best clothes, the expensive brands. Maybe you're always the life of the party. Or maybe you find yourself drinking, shopping, or working way more than you really need to.

These are what I call overcompensating behaviors, and we all do them—myself included.

My People-Pleasing Prison

For most of my life, I was a chronic people pleaser. I didn't see it as overcompensation at the time. I saw it as being good—someone who followed the rules, someone who was accepted in society for doing exactly what was expected.

I was the person everyone said was "so easy to work with." In my photography business days, clients would constantly tell me how much they loved working with me because I never caused problems, never pushed back, never made things difficult.

It felt good to hear. It also became my prison.

When I finally did the deeper work to understand why I was chronically trying to please everybody, why I was so conflict-averse, I discovered the truth: I was seeking validation from everyone around me. I had created this belief that when I behaved this way, I would get the recognition I deserved, the acceptance I craved, the validation I desperately sought.

But here's what I learned: underneath every overcompensating behavior is something we're trying to cover up.

The Masks We Wear

Think of overcompensation like painting over cracks in the wall. The wall looks perfect, but the crack is still there, waiting to be exposed.

The Eternally Positive Person might actually be saying, "If I smile big enough, I won't feel the pain I'm trying to avoid." Sometimes that relentless cheeriness is a way to keep sadness at bay.

The Life of the Party might be so afraid to share their true feelings or sit in silence long enough for real emotions to surface. It's easier to be the outgoing, robust person all the time than to deal with what comes up in the quiet moments.

The Control Enthusiast often fears the unknown or what could go wrong. If they control every situation, they know how it's going to go. But that need for control might mask a deep fear of imperfection, of not being appreciated or validated if things don't go exactly right.

You see how it's all connected?

The Sneaky Coping Mechanisms

Society has taught us to suppress our emotions, but we weren't put here on this earth to do that. We were meant to feel them, express them, process them, and let them go.

When we hold on or suppress our true feelings, sneaky coping mechanisms creep into our behavior—and we don't even realize it.

Sarcasm was mine. I couldn't have straight-up conflicts with people. I couldn't directly express my feelings. So sarcasm became my outlet. I thought it was cheeky and cool, but really, I was avoiding feeling and saying what I truly meant.

The Deep Questions

Here's what I want you to consider: What would happen if you allowed yourself to feel instead of covering it up, hiding it, and layering it with overcompensating behavior?

Before you say, "I don't have anything like that," I invite you—I plead with you—to think about it.

If for just a moment you took off that mask you've been wearing in front of people, who are you?

What if you could say to yourself, not even to the world yet, just to yourself:

* "I'm sad today"

* "I feel insecure"

* "I've been playing the victim here"

* "I'm really lonely"

Sit with that feeling for a moment and see what comes up.

Because when you allow yourself to feel, you will be able to heal.

The Signals We're Getting

Look around. What do people always tell you?

"You're always so organized." "You're always so perfect." "You're always so nice." "You're always so easy to work with."

These consistent observations from others can be signals. They might point to areas where you're overcompensating.

Now that I've acknowledged my people-pleasing behavior, challenged it, and healed from it, I understand there are times when I need to be open and honest with clients and in relationships. I don't need to always be nice.

Maybe I don't hear "you're so easy to work with" as often anymore, but I'm aware that I don't have to be easy to work with. It's nice when it feels aligned, but if it feels misaligned, I'm allowed to speak up.

Overcompensation is a Signal, Not a Solution

Understanding overcompensation is like seeing a flashing light that says, "Look here—something deeper needs attention."

When you give yourself permission to dig into that feeling instead of painting over it with a pretty picture, that's where real work begins. That's where real healing begins.

Underneath the mask is a version of you that doesn't need to be protected, covered up, or hidden.

The Practice: Removing the Mask

Being you in your truest, most authentic sense involves understanding who you are. It requires peeling back the layers and dealing with these coping skills and behaviors that we've built into our minds, practicing them subconsciously without even knowing anything is wrong.

The next time you find yourself reaching for that mask—whether it's the fake smile, the "I'm okay, everything's great, wonderful, wonderful," or the urge to shop, eat, drink, control, or be right—pause.

Pause and ask yourself: "What am I really feeling right now? What am I afraid people might see if I stopped overcompensating this way?"

Then bravely sit with it.

Your emotions aren't here to destroy you. They're here to guide you back to your true self.

The Freedom on the Other Side

Once you learn to love your true, authentic self, you won't need masks anymore. You can show up as who you really are, and people will love you so much more for it because you'll be in full alignment with who you're supposed to be.

The version of you underneath all the overcompensation is worthy of love, acceptance, and validation not because of what you do, but because of who you are.

What came up for you as you read this? What overcompensating behavior did you recognize in yourself? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.

If this resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear this message. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is help others see that they're not alone in wearing masks and that it's safe to take them off.

If these ideas resonate with you and you'd like to continue the conversation on finding inner peace and living a more compassionate life, I invite you to follow my journey on Instagram. Join the community @mindbodyspiritwarrior for more daily reflections and inspiration.

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/mindbodyspiritwarrior/

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.

Before you try to heal the world, there’s a crucial first step we’re skipping in our rush for spiritual trends.

Everywhere you look these days, it seems people are identifying as “spiritual”. The landscape is filled with a vast menu of appealing modalities: breathwork, meditation, sound healing, Reiki, tarot, and forest bathing, to name a few. These tools can be amazing, but a nagging question arises: Are we truly going deep enough with the concept of spirituality, or are we just taking it at the surface level and running with it?.

There’s a pattern emerging that looks a lot like diet culture. When working in fitness and nutrition, I saw how people clung to their favorite diet almost like a religion. Whether it was weight-loss shakes, high-fat diets, or intermittent fasting, many believed their method was the best and only way. Over time, however, our understanding of health has deepened. We’ve moved from just counting calories to focusing on food quality and even gut health, realizing there is no “one size fits all” solution. It is critical that we don’t make the same mistake with our spiritual journey that we made with our health journey.

The real danger lies in running with the first modality that appeals to us without understanding its foundational purpose. A person might benefit from breathwork and immediately feel compelled to teach it, believing it will change everyone's life. But it won’t be the right fit for everybody. Some people might find more comfort and peace from ice plungers, astrology, or sound healing. The purpose of spirituality is not to become a healer or make money selling these modalities. In fact, I would caution everyone against this. It worries me to see healers who are not doing the work to heal themselves first. We simply cannot heal the world when we are not healed ourselves.

So, what is the point of a spiritual journey? Its primary function is to help you deal with the stress, pressures, and suffering in your own life so you can release it and become free and liberated. The first step should always be to understand ourselves through the lens of our spirit. Ask yourself: Is my spirit and my life in alignment?. Do I feel the joy and peace I’m looking for, or am I experiencing conflict on the inside?. If there is conflict, the work is to heal that first before trying to go out and help others.

This is a long journey, and we are all at different stages. Some of us are not yet aware of what needs to heal , while others have not fully accepted the past stories that need work. The path is to go through your own karmic cycles of pain, process the emotions, and use your human abilities to communicate and take action to heal.

Only then, from a place of inner peace and alignment, can you naturally go out and help people where they are. This is how we create collective healing—by learning our own lessons first and then teaching them to those around us who need to hear them.

I encourage you to look at spirituality in your own way and redefine it for yourself. My current definition is to get to know your soul and to honor its truth at every single moment. When you honor your truth, you won’t be in conflict with yourself or anyone else.

So, before you try to heal the world, dig deep. Take time for reflection and introspection to see where you are on your journey. If you find that you are at peace and in full alignment, then by all means, go forward and help others. That is what we are here to do

If these ideas resonate with you and you'd like to continue the conversation on finding inner peace and living a more compassionate life, I invite you to follow my journey on Instagram. Join the community @mindbodyspiritwarrior for more daily reflections and inspiration.

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/mindbodyspiritwarrior/

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.

It’s a question that feels increasingly relevant. We see reminders everywhere—on social media, on coffee shop signs, in corporate slogans—to "be kind." But why do we need these constant nudges? Have we truly forgotten how to be compassionate towards each other?.

The truth is, we haven't forgotten. Human beings are naturally wired to be kind. When we see somebody struggling, our first instinct is to help. The problem isn't a lack of knowledge; it's that something else is getting in the way. That "something" is the overwhelming personal stress born from our modern obsession with chasing an external idea of success.

The Vicious Cycle of Stress and "Lack"

We have designed complicated, difficult lives for ourselves. We are in a constant chase, always running after something more. The speaker in a recent episode argues that we have gone so far towards materialism that our personal stress has grown too large, making compassion for others difficult to dig out of our system. When we are struggling to achieve success ourselves, it's only natural that we don't have the capacity for others. We are so caught up in our own day-to-day struggles that we become consumed by our own stress.

This creates what can be described as a "state of lack". We fixate on what we haven't achieved yet, on what we

don't have. And when we are living in a state of lack, we cannot feel gratitude, joy, peace, or calm. It's a vicious cycle: if we don't feel inner peace, we cannot be kind to other people, because we put out what we think. If we're thinking "lack," we're putting out "lack".

The "Destination Happiness" Trap

Many of us fall into the trap of "destination happiness"—the belief that "When I get there, I'll be happy". We tell ourselves that when we have a certain amount of money, a specific job, or the perfect relationship, then we will finally feel joy.

But it’s a finish line that always moves. A powerful story was shared about a client who, despite having more money in his bank account than he had ever dreamed of 20 years ago, was still unhappy and fixated on needing "financial freedom". He never took the time to stop and applaud himself for how far he had come. He was so focused on the next destination that he couldn't enjoy the place he had already reached.

How many times have you done the same? We are taught to constantly chase more, but we rarely savor the things that are already beautiful in our lives. It could be the stranger on the street who gives you a beautiful smile, or a friend who takes you out for coffee on your birthday. How much are we savoring that joy?.

Kindness Isn't an Action, It's a Byproduct

Here is the most profound takeaway: kindness isn’t something we need to be reminded about. It is within each of us, a natural byproduct of being alive.

If we were at peace, calm in our own energy, happy, and joy-filled, then kindness would come naturally to us. When clients reach that place of peace and calm, they automatically want to do things for others, like paying for the coffee for the person behind them in line. You don’t think about doing those things when you are suffering or in a state of lack.

The filters of wanting more, needing more, and struggling to get more are what stand between us and our compassion. The solution isn’t to try harder to be kind. The solution is to heal the mindset that blocks our natural state of joy.

The next time you see a reminder to be kind, ask yourself:

Do I need this reminder, or am I already being compassionate?. If you are, give yourself a pat on the back. And if you're not, take a moment to think about all the blessings that already exist in your life and share some gratitude for them.

All of our problems start and end in our minds. Let’s do the work to

peel, feel, deal, and heal whatever is going on in there. Let's clear the path to being truly joyful, and in doing so, become truly, effortlessly kind to ourselves and everyone around us.

If these ideas resonate with you and you'd like to continue the conversation on finding inner peace and living a more compassionate life, I invite you to follow my journey on Instagram. Join the community @mindbodyspiritwarrior for more daily reflections and inspiration.

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/mindbodyspiritwarrior/

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.

A mother's journey from a devastating autism diagnosis to a profound, life-altering lesson in what it truly means to love.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you felt an overwhelming urge to fix them? To smooth out their rough edges, to solve their problems, to make their path easier? It often comes from a place of deep care, a belief that to love is to repair. For years, this was the driving force for Heidi Rome after her son, Ethan, was diagnosed with severe autism.

But a single sentence, typed out on a keyboard by her non-speaking son, would unravel everything she thought she knew and teach her the most profound lesson of her life.

The Weight of a Diagnosis

Heidi’s younger son, Ethan, is now 19 and has severe autism. He is a non-speaker with a very dysregulated nervous system. The journey began with missed milestones—no eye contact, and most noticeably, a complete lack of babbling. The turning point came when Ethan was five. After a full evaluation in New York, Heidi was given a soul-crushing verdict: her son had the mental capacity of a five-month-old infant.

"It was shattering," Heidi recalls. From that moment, she believed her mission was clear. "I loved him," she says, "Therefore, my job was to fix my broken kid".

This set her on a years-long path of desperation. She and her family tried every therapy they could find, spent vast sums of money, and encountered charlatans preying on their hope. The constant effort yielded few results, and the fixing wasn't working. Heidi sank into a deep despair, feeling like a failure as a mother and reaching a point where there was "no hope".

A Crack of Light

Everything changed when Ethan, at age nine, enrolled in a new school. This school operated on a revolutionary premise: behavior isn't something to be extinguished; it is communication. It’s a reflection of an unmet need.

The school offered assistive technologies to help non-speaking students communicate. Heidi was skeptical, having been told by a previous speech therapist that Ethan "doesn't speak because he has nothing to say". But one week in, the new teacher called. Ethan had been asked a simple question: "How do you like the new school?".

The three words he typed in response defied all logic and every diagnosis. They were: "basking in joy".

Heidi was floored. How could a child with the supposed mind of an infant compose such a phrase? The cognitive dissonance was "through the roof". This was the first glimpse into the vast, intelligent, and deeply feeling consciousness that existed within her son.

The Message That Changed Everything

The ultimate revelation came when Ethan was 11, just before he was to move to a residential school that could better manage his safety. Knowing they might lose the ability to communicate this way, Heidi had one more session with him. She decided to ask him a question she’d never asked before: "What are your thoughts about God?".

What followed was a conversation that would change the course of her life.

Ethan typed, "God is in my heart and he will always protect me". He explained that he remembered a time before he was born, "when I lived in heaven" , a place with "no bodies, just spectacular energy". He typed that he chose his life, saying, "Yes, I picked to be me and have many challenges".

Stunned, Heidi asked the final, critical question: "Is there anything we should do to help you?".

Ethan’s reply was the answer to years of struggle, the release from a burden she never should have carried. He typed:

"You just have to love me and that is your job, the rest is my job to do".

From Fixing to Loving

In that moment, everything shifted. "I took my first deep breath in 11 years," Heidi says. The instruction wasn't to cure, to change, or to control. It was simply to love. "Not fix me, not change me, not take my sovereignty and live my life for me," she explains, "Just love me".

This story is a powerful testament for all of us. The impulse to fix implies that something or someone is broken. It establishes a power dynamic where one person knows best. But love, in its purest form, operates differently. It doesn't impose its will. Instead, as Heidi learned, love asks two simple questions: "How can I be of service?" and "What is needed in this moment?".

This is a lesson that extends far beyond parenting a child with autism. It applies to every relationship in our lives. It’s a call to release our white-knuckled grip on control and to accept and honor the sovereignty of the people we care about.

Today, Heidi Rome is an autism mindset coach, and her mission is to build a new type of supportive community for adults like Ethan—one founded on the principle of "presumed competence". It’s a community that will provide a new model for a world that too often sees only what is missing, instead of the spectacular energy within.

To learn more about Heidi’s work and her vision, you can visit her website: https://heidirome.com/

I’d love to hear from you in the comments: Have you ever felt the pressure to 'fix' a situation or a person you love? What did you learn from that experience?

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.

We all have a version of "the plan." It’s the life we envisioned, the career path we mapped out, the forward momentum we believe we must maintain at all costs. But what happens when the life you’re actually living forces you to slam on the brakes?

I was talking with my dear friend Malika Malhotra on the podcast this week, and she told a story so vulnerable and profound that it’s been echoing in my mind ever since.

For years, Malika’s life was defined by motion. She and her family moved ten times across the United States. This wasn't a nomadic choice; it was a necessity dictated by her husband's demanding career as a highly specialized pediatric heart surgeon. With each new city came the immense, often invisible labor of rebuilding a life from scratch—finding new doctors, new schools, and new communities, all while her own ambitions in corporate advertising were put on the back burner.

She confessed that behind the resilience, there were dark days and a resentment that inevitably builds up. This last move, from Maine to Texas, hit differently. As a woman in her 50s, she found herself in a new city where making friends felt nearly impossible, leaving her with a feeling of deep loneliness.

The Light Switch That Wouldn't Turn On

As an entrepreneur, Malika had successfully run her own brand strategy business, including a core mastermind group for women. It was her thing. It was the part of her identity she had carved out for herself amidst the chaos.

But after this last move, something was different.

"It was like this light switch," she told me. "I couldn't turn it on and I've always been able to turn it on.".

It wasn't just stress or fatigue. It was a fundamental inability to keep pushing. The mental and emotional load of the move was so immense that she couldn't hold space for anyone else. She was at a breaking point.

The Unexpected Power of Pressing Pause

What Malika did next is a lesson for every ambitious person who feels like they’re failing when they’re actually just depleted. She didn't force it. She didn't "push through the pain."

She surrendered.

"I gave myself some grace and I said, you know what? Just, just press pause," she recalled. She made the difficult decision to cancel her mastermind group. She understood a crucial truth: "You can't press pause on your family... but you can press pause on this.".

In that pause, in the space created by letting go—something new had room to grow. With her time and mental energy freed up, she started exploring the world of AI. This exploration wasn't just a distraction; it was the start of a complete business reinvention. She funneled her expertise into creating "Lumi," a custom AI bot designed to deliver her unique brand strategy framework to clients.

In her words, she essentially "cloned herself," creating a scalable, portable, and less demanding way to run her business.

The breakthrough she never saw coming was a direct result of the breakdown she was forced to navigate. The ultimate irony?

"I think this move, if I didn't have this move, I wouldn't have gotten there.".

Malika’s story is such a powerful reminder that our greatest challenges often contain the seeds of our most profound transformations. It asks us to question our own relationship with ambition, control, and the "plans" we grip so tightly.

So, I’ll ask you what I’ve been asking myself: Where in your life are you trying to force a light switch on? What might happen if you gave yourself the grace to just... press pause?

Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.

Let's talk about fear. I'm not talking about the kind that makes you jump during a horror movie, but the quiet, sneaky kind. This is the fear that keeps you stuck, the one that keeps you playing small. It often sounds perfectly logical, but it's actually our inner critic in disguise, what I call the "evil inner witch". It’s the voice that whispers, "What if I fail?" or "What if people find out I have no idea what I'm doing?".

If those thoughts sound familiar, you're not alone. They are part of our biological survival system. When our brain senses a threat, whether it's real or imagined, it triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response. The problem is, our brain can't always tell the difference between a real danger and an imagined one.

Think about being afraid of flying. The plane hasn't even taken off, but you might already feel butterflies, start to sweat, or freeze up. That threat isn't real yet, but your body can have a powerful physical reaction to it.

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Our brains haven't evolved much since the days we were running from lions. Today, we aren't afraid of wild animals; our modern fears are rejection, judgment, failure, and uncertainty. We live in a world that has conditioned us to fear failure, to avoid speaking up, and to hide our emotions. This conditioning becomes our internal programming. So, what can we do about it?

The Path from Fearful to Fearless: The 3 A's

In my book, "The Warrior Mindset," I outline a three-step process to go from fearful to fearless. It’s a method of peeling back the layers, feeling the emotion, and beginning to heal.

Step 1: Awareness

The first step is simply

Awareness. We have to understand that what we're feeling is, at its core, fear. Fear is sneaky and often disguises itself as anger, resentment, or frustration. For example, if you feel nervous about speaking on stage—your stomach has butterflies, you're sweating, you might forget your lines—the root of that nervousness is fear. It's the fear of judgment or the fear of failure. Once you become aware that the deep-down feeling is fear, you can begin to observe it without letting it take over.

Step 2: Acceptance

This next step may feel counterintuitive. Instead of fighting the fear, you must practice

Acceptance. Acknowledge that feeling fear is a normal part of the human experience. Then, you can call it out. I want you to say, "Hey, fear, I see you. I acknowledge you. I welcome you. And I ask you to have a seat on the side while I do the thing that I'm here to do".

When you do this, you stop pushing against the fear. You've allowed it to come in and take a seat, and you can be at peace with it. Stop making fear the enemy. Just let it sit there while you remain in charge.

Step 3: Action

Once fear is no longer a threatening entity, you can take

Action. When you take action despite the fear, even one small, tiny, courageous step—you will begin to fight the fear and let it go. In that moment of action, you unleash your inner warrior, and the fear starts to fizzle out. Action liberates, and fear paralyzes. Taking that one step is how you wow the audience you were afraid to face or take the flight that leads you to places you never thought you'd go. Feeling fear means you're doing something brave.

Your Action Plan for Today

I want you to try this right now.

* Name It: Identify one fear that is keeping you stuck right now. This is your moment of awareness.

* Question It: Get curious. Where did this fear come from? Whose voice are you hearing in your head? Is it a parent, a teacher, a bully from your past? Who are you afraid to disappoint or be judged by?.

* Act On It: What is one small action you can take today while still feeling this fear? Welcome the fear, have it sit next to you, and take one small step forward despite it.

Bravery is a choice. It’s about fighting the mindset battle every day until you find your way out. Don't let fear hold you back.

Let me know in the comments: What is one fear you are letting go of today?

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.

We live in a world that is constantly judging us, a world that bombards us with images of perfection, making it all too easy to turn that judgment inward. For many women, this creates a relentless battle with their own minds and bodies. But what if the key to breaking free wasn't a new diet or a quick fix, but a profound conversation with yourself?

For Kausar Rasul, a Certified Nutrition Coach, the turning point in her own struggles came not from a new regimen, but from looking inward. "If you don’t change what’s happening in your head, it’s nearly impossible to change your body or your life," she states. Her story is a powerful testament to how healing your mindset is the first and most crucial step.

The Cycle of Pressure and Disordered Eating

Kausar’s battle with disordered eating began in her early teens, fueled by societal pressure and pervasive diet culture. "I felt like my whole identity was how I looked," she recalls, explaining how she internalized the belief that her worth was tied to her appearance. This led to a painful cycle of binging and dieting that followed her for years. After her pregnancy, facing severe injuries and weight gain, she knew she needed a lasting change and began a two-year healing journey.

Finding a Therapist in a Diary

In a moment of reflection after her daughter was born, Kausar returned to an old friend: her journal. At a time when she felt isolated, it became her confidante. "My diary, my journal became my therapist," she shares.

Here’s why journaling was so effective:

* It Makes Thoughts Tangible: Seeing your thoughts on paper makes them real and separate from yourself. "It's like, oh, this is really happening to me. This is something that I'm saying to myself," Kausar explains.

* It Challenges Your Inner Critic: Journaling allowed her to question the harsh things she was telling herself. She would ask, "Would I say this to my best friend?". The answer was always no, highlighting the cruelty of her inner critic.

* It Fosters Self-Compassion: A pivotal exercise for Kausar was writing a love letter to her body, thanking it for all it had done, including carrying her daughter. This act of gratitude was a powerful way to reframe her perspective.

The Mindset-First Approach to Health

Today, as co-founder of the BFF Method, Kausar and her business partner Doucky help thousands of women over 40 lose weight sustainably without giving up cultural foods or joy. She has seen how mindset challenges, stemming from media messages, societal expectations, and unresolved experiences, are the biggest hurdles.

"A lot of the mindset challenges I see in women come from a mix of influences messages we've absorbed through media, unresolved childhood experiences, and societal expectations," she notes.

In her coaching program, the practical information is provided through a portal and app. This frees up coaching calls to focus on the "deeper mindset work," using techniques rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy, affirmations, and self-awareness practices.

A significant tool of self-sabotage is the scale. That morning number can trigger a cascade of negative thoughts. Kausar offers a powerful reframe: "What if we take pictures and measurements for fat loss and we use the scale just to show gratitude for your existence?".

Your Path to Going Inward

Kausar believes that despite societal progress, women carry an immense burden, and the restorative practices of mindfulness and self-connection have been lost. "As progressive as we are, we’ve also gone backwards centuries," she says. "The rituals and practices of mindfulness, being in nature, and connecting with oneself are almost non-existent."

Her advice is to stop, breathe, and go inward. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day, and these thoughts dictate our actions, words, and even what we eat. "If you're not taking a moment to prime your thoughts, then you are living in a rut."

Here are some practices to help you prime your thoughts for a healthier, happier life:

* Make time to pray.

* Walk in nature without headphones and just listen to yourself.

* Practice genuine gratitude.

* Use affirmations to guide your thoughts. A favorite of Kausar's is: "I am exactly where I need to be. There is a purpose behind this life, this day and this moment."

Ultimately, the journey to a healthier body begins with a kinder mind. "Change your thoughts about yourself to change your body."

Kausar Rasul is a Certified Nutrition Coach and co-creator of the BFF Method, which helps women over 40 achieve sustainable health. She is the co-host of the Get Fit in Your 40s podcast. You can find her on Instagram at @become.fit.forever and online at www.bff.zone. For further listening, she recommends the 7-minute talks with Jay Shetty on the Calm app and the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra.

Do you have an inspiring story of resilience, healing, or transformation? We’d love to hear from you! Share your story and apply to be a guest on the podcast using this form.

Book a Reading or Discovery Call

If you’re ready to explore your next steps toward alignment and fulfillment, book a personalized reading or discovery call with Chitra Rochlani. Learn more and book here.

A Reminder for You

If you’re struggling right now, remember this: You’ve already survived 100% of your hardest days. Take it one small step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

About the Creator

Chitra Rochlani is a Wellness Coach, Speaker, and best-selling author of She’s on a mission to help her clients eliminate stress and loneliness, feel more aligned, and live a life of fulfillment and passion.As a medium and intuitive healer, she educates and empowers her clients to tap into their most underutilized superpower—their intuition—to navigate their lives and make WINx3 decisions.She uses her P.F.H. (Peel, Feel, Heal) framework to inspire transformation through:

* Seminars

* Interactive workshops

* 1:1 and group intuitive readings

* Monthly membership program (The Warrior Mindset Collective)

Follow Chitra on:

* LinkedIn

* Instagram

* Website

💬 I'd love to hear from you:What’s one thing that helps you shift out of comparison? Share it with me in the comments or reply to this email. Your insight might be the reminder someone else needs today.

If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper into this work with me, now’s the time.