Audiobooks

The little amusing sketch I wrote about a dinner party listening to the girls talking about their men servants

A speech, or eulogy, I wrote for a dear friend of mine who, to me, will always be the last bohemian fugitive. An artist for more than 65 years, a very impressive figure who changed my life for the better with his mindful mentoring.

A short sketch based on real life events with two friends of mine who spent a who night trying to out do each other with male bravado only for it to end in a dreadful finish in hospital with a police caution.

A song for a lovely honey we called Ann Summers, due to her working there. She asked me for a birthday card poem and caused me a writer's block. When I tried to explain, she cursed me with a look of pure disdain. So, I wrote this along the lines of a frigid, flustering fool that she'd doubtlessly be serving at the Ann Summers shop. Katie looks at all men with indifference and always takes fun from them. Bravo, darling, it's all we deserve.

A chalk and cheese Husband and wife with very opposing opinions on the arrival of some neo hippie neighbours with their green dream machine .

A short humorous story written about my morning at the magistrates court where I receive the financial flagellation across my lily white derriere.

A short story about a devout Christian who after living like a mendicant monk all his life arrives in into the after life only to be met by Stalin one of the greatest mass murderers of all time.

The schizoid

A couple of chapters from a story made in my head and instantaneously narrated straight onto the mobile phone as I was in fantasy hence why in places it feels a little ragged and unrehearsed in places .Now I know how musicians feel when they have a go at freestyle improvisation straight from the subconscious mind to speech or song.

A short story based on real-life events: When I first traveled abroad to France, we lived like tramps on the streets, washing in fountains and stealing food from shops as vagrants and vagabonds. However, someone came up with a great idea of putting together the "Tramps Brigade" who lived in the swamp in Cap d'Agde. The next thing we knew, we were all assigned duties and discipline.

A short story I wrote this morning about a night out with God children where a confetti cannon was fired off and all of its contents I quickly stuffed down my trousers, then when I went to the toilet twenty minutes later I'd forgotten about the confetti which tumbled out into the urinal the man next to me asked if I'd been fornicating with a clown.