Audiobooks

I wrote and recorded a short sketch this morning. It's about my milky white male friends who are quite terrified of their wives. Our Saturday quiz is usually when we men huddle together and complain about them and the street, yet we're quite fearful of these power-crazy wives, all of whom have top jobs and wear jack boots.

A story I wrote a long time ago. It's based on the ex-convicts who were working on a hop farm in Kent. The girls were rough diamonds from the Bow Bells, and they seemed to swear every other word; the whole conversation seemed so cruel and corse almost callous which was filled with expletives. The only man working with them for the harvest was Paul, a terrified toff, an ex-barrister from the London legal bar who had fallen from grace. They scared him, and me. Big Pat took me by the throat one night a proper boozer bruiser. and then the next day, she sat her baby boy in my lap. I was a tractor driver, her adopted or borrowed baby and I spent all summer singing songs, much to the annoyance of Big Martin, the cutter in the crow's nest, who kept getting dragged into the wires, while Karlin and I sang, 'Let's all look on the bright side of life.

The ghost in our mortal machine is like a spiritual symbiotic twin that collaborative companion that shares our secular sin so silently from within accompanying us from a womb to the tomb an then ultimately giving evidence at our final doom . software one day maybe so sensitive and bio hybridized to our DNA that it could just become our very own soul cage I almost feel as though my computer tech is reading my mind in some sort of strange tech telepathy they were recently saying that the cloned Polo horses which have identical DNA from their donor artificially computerized to perfection have all the exact instincts even down to being scared of the same things in the stable yard instinctual da ja Vue.

A short story I wrote about a friend of mine who seems to take his fads and fetish to such an extreme that they almost become a religion similar to his father who also has this similar trait where everything has to be taken to the point of extremism or in there own words perfectionism . I don't know what is happening to our society at the moment it seems to be splintering into a strange almost fractured fundamentalism where certain people are fixating on new found ideologies once hobbies have now become a neo religious worship i.e cycling is the all encompassing life style that controls every aspect of your vital , it is much more than a way of keeping fit but is the menticidal midlife crisis of a middle aged man .

A short story about the crazy maniacs who i shared space and spilt blood with me , you should never really put three bisexuals and an asexual under one roof especially if one pushes everyone to the limit of their patience .

A short story about two old men who turn up on a blind date the two girls turned out to be the fluffers for a famous reality TV show and it was their job to make the model or manikin fit the mold its based on a real Ife experience at the notorious den of iniquity the Harrogate arms.

Written for a crazy friend of mine who's many conversions over the years have driven me crazy however his ever changing gender and religion dose keep things interesting similar to my mother he has a different diet dress and deity his latest combination did court controversy.

A short story based on true life events of when I took a job working on a holiday camp in the south of France the antics the people got up to were crazy two hundred Australians all of whom loved drink totally out of control causing madness and mayhem the poor boss that was in charge of security use to read the diary each day and call a meeting to discuss the previous nights disasters of which there were so many I'd would love to read it now . Whilst doing many jobs from selling chips an chickens , working on security I came across so many maniacs I also was tear gassed twice with my own cannister after a client thought it was silly string crazy times.

"Doubtful Crumbs" depicting two dogs awaiting crumbs that fall from a rich man's table. This short story is a comedic sketch that I wrote after listening to a friend of mine talking about his obsession with crumbs. I thought of the passage in the Bible, "The Rich Man's Table" (Luke 16:19-21). Maybe the Bible is correct – power of any sort corrupts a person's sense of morality, which lessens as their wealth increases. Communism may be the only cure for human kind --ness.

A little story I wrote about my grandfather who was notorious gambler and lost a fortune on horses dogs cards basically he gambled on everything bringing the family to almost ruination .