Today’s episode is a rollercoaster of nonsense, history, and end-times panic. We start by roasting the tank top (the most suspicious piece of clothing since Crocs in church), detour into Dane Cook, Comedy Central, and the jealousy of a comic in the early 2000s, and then crash headfirst into one of the wildest stories ripped from the forgotten pages of history: the legend of Bulletproof George Washington.

From there, it’s all downhill into scientists literally saying we might need to bomb AI labs to save humanity, the pastor predicting the rapture, Diddy’s courtroom drama, and a zookeeper in Thailand who found out the hard way that lions don’t “hug.”

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s a foggy Monday morning and Austin is all over the place, running late miles in the dark, building chicken coops, and blowing his son’s mind by being able to touch his toes. From dad moments to stand-up comedy shoutouts (Dave Attell holding a lantern in the fog), the episode swerves into politics, bizarre headlines about “international Satanists,” California’s free speech battles, and the tragic assassination of Charlie Kirk. Along the way, Austin talks about nose rings he calls “the bebop,” and the madness of internet culture. 

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On this episode of The Austin Anderson Show, I talk about dragging myself out of bed after a late night at a Jason Aldean concert, where the crowd, the music, was a great time. I share the about a rainy pumpkin patch visit, why denim was the real villain that day, and how carrying an umbrella might secretly be one of life’s greatest joys. Then I get into a crazy coincidence involving the Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers show I saw back in ’99, and how a friend across the world randomly brought it up on the exact same day. I wrap things up with some straight talk on momentum, discipline, and why starting small wins every time. Whether you’re here for stories, laughs, or a little motivation, this one’s got you covered.

👉 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and drop a comment about the best concert you’ve ever been to.

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In this episode, I talk why fiddles make country concerts better, late-night McDonald’s drive-thru nostalgia. How fast food has lost its magic, question the Hamburglar’s cannibalism, and can't get over the bizarre Tai Chi infomercials.

Plus, I share memories of 24-hour Walmart adventures, chasing runner’s highs, the magic of Vala’s Pumpkin Patch in Omaha, and a wild late-night Waffle House story with a fellow comic.

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What do four bagels, Barbie legs, Carrie Underwood’s football-field lips, and robot chicken fights in Oklahoma all have in common? Absolutely nothing—except they all show up in today’s chaos.

In this episode, Austin tackles:

• The tragic limit of human bagel consumption
• Why dudes skip leg day and turn into flamingos
• A marathon runner in overalls with ironclad nipples
• Carrie Underwood’s screen-sized lips at a Cody Johnson concert
• Joe Rogan casually roasting Marc Maron as a “crazy cat lady”
• Oklahoma legalizing rooster vs. robot fights (seriously)
• Accidentally stumbling into a cockfight in Arkansas
• Worm paranoia, Trump suing the New York Times, and Charlie Kirk’s martyrdom

Stick around, subscribe, and laugh at the madness of life.

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In this episode, Austin spirals from the betrayal of refrigerators that make you open the door just to get water, to Robert Redford’s immortal hair, to a dude in Florida choking kids while dressed as a giant puppy. We hit every weird news headline you didn’t know you needed, like a million-dollar yacht sinking in seconds, a man fighting off hyenas with his bare hands, and an ice cream cone legend handing out sandwiches on a mountain.

Then, we shift gears into something deeper: how the early church saw nonviolence as strength, why martyrdom was once considered a badge of honor, and how Rome’s fall blurred into the rise of the Catholic empire.

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It’s Monday morning on the homestead, the coffee is strong enough to kill a horse, the crickets won’t shut up, and the chickens are circling me, demanding food. Then it’s off to a Cody Johnson concert, and a crash course in how the apostles actually died.

👉 Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and keep this snowball rolling.

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I’m sick as a dog but still ranting my way through a head cold, swigging DayQuil like an old-time drunk with a flask. From dreaming about Viking-style river burials on the Elkhorn, to the insanity of Charlie Kirk’s assassination and people celebrating it, to the bizarre spam calls offering me $60k loans five times a day.

We go from heavy stuff (Christian martyrdom, civil war chatter, a nation unraveling) to ridiculous business ideas like “Shank You Very Much” (artisan prison shanks for flea markets), pudding-based revenge on telemarketers, Oasis sweating through parkas, and why even sick, I can’t stop this show.

New episodes weekdays at 10 a.m. Subscribe and stick around.

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