Autism Advocate

In this episode, I explore a therapy modality called Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how helpful it is!

EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and Reprocessing) is also a fantastic addition to IFS in order to resolve trauma.

In this episode, Adam Grant and I have a funny, light-hearted discussion about the ways autistic and ADHD people accommodate others, the social barriers within the workforce and interview process, and some strategies that can be used by neurodivergent people in the workplace.

Adam and I present our viewpoints about the struggles of indirect language and the harmful outcomes that indirect language causes.  We discuss also what it's like to translate from a systematic bottom up processing to translate that into a top down understanding.

Adam discusses some of the systematic barriers as a manager working in tech, with masking, rejection sensitivity dysphoria struggles, and the inherent translation layer between neurodivergent people and others.

We discuss the importance of accountability, we ways people protect their reputations, and how easy it is to fall into self-rejection traps from the misunderstandings involved in the double empathy problem.

Adam shares his desire to connect with others and learn from them and share what he has learned, but he's concerned that doing so could make others feel belittled.  

He talks about how often neurodivergent people have to figure out their own strategies in isolation, how challenging it is, how alienating it can be too.  

My goal is to give everyone a reminder that you are allowed to be yourself, that your problems are not in isolation - there is always and will always be another person going through similar challenges to what you're experiencing.

We also discuss the purpose of small talk, how most people get dopamine from small talk, and hopefully making small talk a little more palatable!

Adam explains how you can 'read breadcrumbs' to form better relationships with others.

We talk about a few different books, including 'How To Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie, and how helpful it was for both of us to use as a guideline to social interactions.  We also discuss the value of mimicry to help people to feel safe, comfortable, and included with others.  

Thank you so much, Adam Grant, for being willing to publicly share your struggles, sharing your experiences as a tech manager,  and bringing such a wonderful humorous discussion into our lives!  It has been a pleasure having you on podcast!

If you enjoyed listening to Adam share his ideas, checkout his YouTube Channel below for more work tips! ~
https://www.youtube.com/@AdamGrantDotInfo
 

In this episode, I shared my heartbreaking experience with accidentally joining a cult, leaving a cult, and the red flags associated in general with cults.

Dallas Dance Collective / Ecstatic Dance Dallas is NOT a safe organization allowing people to dance.  
It is a cult that has sexually assaulted women countless times in the past.

It is an organization that people use to violate women, people, and ignore boundaries.

I discuss specifics about the man who touched my inner thigh, the other instances of red flags in this organization, and what you can do to protect yourself against sexual assault and cult dynamics.

When I was trapped in this cult, it was like I became a completely different person who could only echo the beliefs of the group.
I am autistic & autistic people are typically resistant to group think scenarios.

I naively thought the organization was solely for dancing.
I did not realize how many people AND organizations are interested in harming me.

That is how compelling and harmful cults are, and it can happen to anyone.

Some of the red flags I discuss are:

• bystanders - someone sees someone else touching you against your consent and doing nothing
• people making up fake names to prevent personal accountability
• people banning the usage of cameras to prevent evidence from being collected against them
• people who violate boundaries by touching you against your consent
• people who use overly spiritual language without clarification 
• people who use drum beats / trance like music to put you into a subconsciously receptive state in order to manipulate you to push their agendas
• organizations who request money very often & try to guilt trip anyone who does not donate
• people who lock the doors past a certain time
• people who know you are in a committed relationship, yet continue to convince you to do other things you are not comfortable with
• people who try to convince you to divorce your husband for a sex fling
• random people coming up to you massaging you
• people who groom beautiful women
• people who attempt to use people's insecurities against them

Cult Dynamics:

• Absolute obedience - you must agree with us or else
• isolation - you can only hang out with members of the group
• Charismatic leader - leader will say whatever they have to say to obtain more members of the group to give them more power
• Financial exploitation 
• Manipulative or recruitment tactics - commonly features love bombing, giving new members lots of attention to retain members before ignoring anyone who does not fit the agenda
• Us vs Them - anyone who disagrees with be punished
• Control over information 
• Extreme behavior or beliefs
• Exploitation of members - cults may exploit members for sexual favors or other personal gain
• emotional manipulation - "Questioning the leader's teachings is a sign of spiritual immaturity", "Only the leader knows what's best for you"

Other red flag phrases, copy pasted from actual messages sent to me:

• "We curate creative containers to support embodied connection." -> "we don't value personal bodily autonomy"
• "this is a safe container for self expression" -> Safety that needs to be stated isn't real safety.  The more someone emphasizes a situation being safe, the more skeptical you should be that it is unsafe.
• "I don't have a job, I'm just blessed" -> "I may or may not be hosting a prostitution sex ring for 60$ a person"
• "Rest into this co-creation" -> we value the groupthink over your personal critical thinking
• "step into the sacred circle and leave your earthly concerns behind" -> we want you in a subconsciously receptive state so you will be easier to manipulate 
• "surrender to the divine flow without question" -> we do not welcome critical thinkers here
• "I am dedicated to keeping things safe" (while allowing men and women to remain in the organization who have harmed people) -> "I don't care about your personal struggles, I don't value personal boundaries"
• "Feeling a lightening heart today, how are you beautiful human?" -> "I am trying to boost your ego in order to keep you in line with my personal agenda"
• "I will heighten my awareness for these two individuals" -> "I am unwilling to take action to kick these two people out.  I need to fake you into thinking I care about this to try to keep you in the group.  However, these two people are paying customers and I won't kick them out because our business model depends on people who are horny"
• "Bringing new blueprints to us all, shifting the paradigms with a lot of curiosity, play, and grace" -> "This is an effort by me to make you feel connected to part of this group regardless of how we treat you
• "purifying and honing the intentions just like we do on the dance floor" -> continuing to push my own religious agenda while you are in a subconsciously receptive state
• "My philosophy is rooted in creating SAFETY in a field so people can get HONEST experience BRAVERY then hopefully access the states of FREEDOM, UNITY, and WHOLENESS, that are the deep human longings + birth rights" -> "we want to convince you that our organization embodies the values of everything in capitalization because we don't but we need to fool people into thinking we do so that they can become paying customers.  Additionally, we will do whatever we can to transform your current beliefs into hyper religiosity and if you dare to disagree we will guilt trip, isolate, and harm you."
• "I am satisfied with our energy exchange" - common manipulative tactic to try to trigger abandonment trauma to get you to come back

Long story short.  Actions define our patterns which can become our reality.
When someone takes actions that indicate that they do not care about respecting boundaries:
Trust the patterns.  Get out. Help is available.

In this episode, I interview two wonderful people, Grace, and Dash, about their experiences in what it is like to be autistic trans women.  They both discuss a little bit about what it was like to discover that they were autistic, and share first hand what the transitioning process has been like, some challenges with it, and share their wonderful journey to self love and self acceptance. :)

Dash talks about how realizing she is autistic is helping her experiences as a preschool teacher.  Having a first hand understanding of the autistic kids that she works with means that she can be the advocate that so many of us autistic people needed as children.
She shares her struggles with under stimulation and talks about various career related challenges.

She dealt with quite a bit of bullying when she was a kid from teachers and students alike; motivating her to become an advocate for the next neurodivergent generations.

Both Grace & Dash are trans women, and they share a snapshot of exactly what being trans feels like.

They share their ideas about how the world could be improved, and all of us hope to contribute to a better general understanding of the myriad of issues that so many trans people experience.

Grace mentions how HUGELY positive her transition has been for her to unmask and learn to recognize who she truly is - being freed from the box of social norms.  

Dash shares her perspective on her anxieties around hormone levels, doctors who don't really understand what it feels like, along with a general gap in trans-related medical knowledge.

Both Grace & Dash are wonderful people, and we are honored to have them share their stories and ideas!
 

In this summary, I discuss some of the up to date research regarding the idea that neurotypical brains commonly synchronize together, whereas autistic people do not synchronize in that same way to neurotypical people.  I also explore and ask different questions about how this type of synchrony can occur between two neurodivergent individuals.  I also discuss the five types of brain waves that can be filtered out of EEG sensors, and how those EEG readings can sometimes be used as biomarkers when it comes to ADHD and OCD.  In summary, I study the big picture of how to bridge the gap of communication between allistic and autistic people, studying and questioning the current deficiency view of the way society calls autistic individuals.  I also ask you to consider - what aspects of the way you socialize are based on a subconscious framework that has gone on unanalyzed for your entire life?

In this episode, I interview a wonderful lady named Christina who is diagnosed with ADHD, and also is suspected autistic level 2.

Her own daughter's diagnosis became the catalyst for her own self-understanding.

At age 40, she shares how she lived her whole life up to this point without knowing why and how she was different.

She grew up in the 80's when autism research wasn't well-established and well-known.

She shares a snapshot about her experiences with socializing, the struggles of connecting with others around her, and some medication struggles as well.

She explains her unique perspective; her desire to connect with people yet the dichotomy of trying to do it in an environment with no autism awareness.  

In particular, she explains what it feels like from a first-hand perspective to be nonverbal, the ways others misunderstood her intentions in those non-verbal states, and how often she  became a target as a result.

We also discuss the ideas of parallel play, social interactions,  sensory issues, dissociation, masking, the effects of masking and how it can cause burnout.  She doesn't drive, for a long time she couldn't make eye contact, and she learned to mask from a call center.  She struggles a lot with spatial awareness and directional sense.

Supporting her daughter who is also autistic, who she can recognize her own self's traits within, she inspires us all with supporting her daughter's diagnosis, supporting her from a first hand perspective, and the beautiful beginning for her own self love and acceptance.  :)

Thank you, Christina for being willing to join the podcast!

Today, I interview a lady named Melissa. 

Melissa is self diagnosed with autism & she shares many of her struggles with sensory issues, social challenges, and shares a snapshot of how she experiences and goes through life.

We discuss many topics like masking, fitting in, the social stigma of being autistic, the cultural disconnects associated with speaking differently from people around you, along with Melissa's ideas for what she wishes society could do differently to better accommodate autistic people.

UPDATE (2025): When I recorded this episode, I didn't know I had temporal lobe epilepsy. I attributed all my suffering to psychological wounds and believed I could "manifest" my way to healing through mindset shifts.

The rejection wound from autism bullying was REAL. The trauma was REAL. But I was also experiencing undiagnosed seizures, depersonalization from a brain cyst, and sensory amplification from neurological dysfunction.

I thought I 'healed' through manifestation and stopping self-rejection. What actually helped was accidentally stopping practices that triggered seizures (like Wim Hof breathing) and starting CBD, which manages epilepsy.

If you resonate with this episode AND you experience: frequent déjà vu, 'zoning out,' memory gaps, sensory pain beyond typical autism, or feeling like 'it's not safe to be me' in a literal physical sense - please get screened for epilepsy. About 20-30% of autistic people have epilepsy.

The manifestation framework helped me cope, but it also delayed proper medical treatment. Psychological healing is important. So is neurology.

I'll be creating follow-up content about this after my formal TLE diagnosis.

Warning: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Trigger.  If you have a deep rejection wound and are not ready to shift it; this will be triggering.

In this episode, I explore the very common rejection wound with specific examples and ideas around healing it.

Most autistic people suppress their autism - often at a subconscious level - because they know that somehow they're different but they get trapped in a rejection wound and they feel like they have to hide their autism in order to be accepted by society.

I'm here to tell you there is a way out - self love, self expression, and recognition that everything you experience is your subconscious patterns on display.  Recognizing total oneness and taking responsibility of your experience is what can liberate you from these painful rejection patterns.

In this episode, I propose that we as a society begin to redefine what social awkwardness means.

I discuss the typical definition of social awkwardness and offer an example for you to consider.

Maybe we shouldn't judge the differences of others & instead should look within to truly understand why you feel uncomfortable around others who are different.

What is it about a flat tone of voice that is so frightening to you?

Why do you feel so compelled towards creating more conformity; when variety is where true growth occurs?

Why do you feel uncomfortable past the plateaus of deeper thinking?

PDATE (Nov 2025): Cannabis helped me significantly, but I'm awaiting evaluation for possible epilepsy - the relief may have been partly from treating seizures I didn't know I had. ~20-30% of autistic people have epilepsy (often undiagnosed). Cannabis can help OR trigger seizures depending on the person. Consider screening first or start with CBD-dominant products. I still think it's valuable, but know the autism-epilepsy connection exists."

In this episode, I discuss what Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.

Most autists have a deep rejection wound.  A rejection of self and self expression because autistic traits are rarely understood by neurotypical majorities and are often immediately rejected.

However, like everything in life, the outer is always a mirror of the inner world.

If you can shift your inner world to confront your deepest fears and dive towards everything that makes you uncomfortable emotionally, you can become more aware of your own dysfunctions and heal them.

The ego often loves to mask itself making it difficult to discover your own wounds.

Read the book Heal Your Wounds, Heal Your True Self by Lise Borbeau to become aware of the 5 key wounds (Rejection, Injustice, Betrayal, Humiliation, and Abandonment)

And listen to this episode to dive deeper into understanding and healing your own self rejections along with some examples of that.