#AutisticAF Out Loud

Friends, Grief & Autism…? They say we have no feelings…

They say autistics don't have emotions. Don't make friends. 

Clue, I ain't Spock.

This is "My Friend Billy." A spoken word piece about grief, friendship, and what they never tell you about our autistic hearts. From my Amazon chapbook "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head."

3 minutes that blast the myth that autistic people lack emotional depth… wide open.

Billy died in a polar vortex. Alone in his home. Local newspaper may have blandly read, “A Politician Lies…Local Man Dies.” 

But he never left my autistic mind. Still laffs in my autistic heart. Teaching it how to praise.

👉 Chapbook (paperback & Kindle): https://www.amazon.com/every-clock-handgun-pointed-head-ebook/dp/B0FNLHC6SY

👉 Full text + free newsletter: https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/

👉 New here? Living Autistic Truth playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_812RrZO_QWB-WHVZRBe-hjr37UNPxdb

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Chapters

00:07 Intro: They say we have no feelings00:21 65, going on death, woke…01:14 A politician lies… local man dies01:30 Billy . . . I wish I were that poet01:52 Laffing . . .  How he outraced cops02:29 missed him… for an hour

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From a live subscriber stream. Original visual art by author throughout. Digital tools include AI.

Hand sketches: grave marker, closing abstract image “Bardo #1.”

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#ActuallyAutistic #SpokenWord #AutisticPoetry #Neurodivergent #Grief #Friendship #AutisticJoy #DisabilityPoetry

Johnny Profane Âû | Born 1953 | Not here to inspire you — here to give you an experience of a life.

Stay weird. Stay fierce. Stay alive.

We got this.

Where does my autistic rage come from? Not from being born wrong. From being raised, schooled, mocked, trained, therapped, and medicated into it.

This is about the source. The ones who created what they blamed us for. No apologies, no redemption arc—just the accusation.

Content note: Strong language, family trauma, discussion of rage & medical consequences of the rage they told us to keep inside + the experiences & opinions of one autistic elder. Born in 1953.

👉 Gift Season: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head”https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i

Raw spoken word & art exploring autistic experience without the inspiration porn.

Perfect for:

* Your autistic or ADHD someone (the gift of being seen)

* That someone who isn’t... and wants connection (the gift of understanding)

👉 Get the chapbook, “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head”: https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i👉 Full text & community: https://substack.com/@johnnyprofane1👉 Live Autistic Truth playlist: 25 live performances of autistic spoken word

Chapters:0:11 Intro: Where Autistic Rage Comes From1:05 I Wasn’t Born this Way1:19 F#&% that Noize1:23 The Nightmare Was You1:41 Being Me around… You1:57 So Many Yous2:07 I Blame You3:11 “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” chapbooRecorded live, November 2025. Minimal production—raw delivery, authentic processing.

This piece discusses:

Autistic burnout and rage, family trauma and estrangement, school trauma, workplace discrimination, forced masking consequences, neurodivergent anger, medical consequences of chronic stress (including stroke), unmasking and living authentically.

#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticRage #FamilyTrauma #SchoolTrauma #Neurodivergent #AutismBurnout #SpokenWord #NeurodivergentVoices #AutisticAF #Unmasking

AutisticAF Out Loud

Not here to inspire you. Here to give you an experience of a life.Born to raise hell. Autistic style.

Transcript:

Family, school, work...? They created this autistic badass. I wasn’t born under a star named Rage.

I’m going to read something. It’s a little bit on the, uh... I don’t know, testy side? And it’s a work in progress. No inspiring ending... yet. Maybe never. Because sometimes there isn’t one.

This is about where autistic rage comes from. I’m not ashamed of it. Any more than I’m ashamed of my autistic joy. This is me. It’s why being targeted first isn’t just political. It’s, uh... it’s personal, real personal. It’s a lifetime of being told, I’m the problem. We’re the problem. You’re the problem. And then watching them try to starve us... for political points.

I call this...

“I Wasn’t Born under a Star named Rage.”

I think you get where... you see where I’m headed.

I drempt I was on a journey

That’s it. There’ll be more. Maybe there’ll be a redeeming ending. Maybe not. That’s where I’m at. That’s the fuel.

You don’t have to relate to every line. And of course, there’s nobody in this audience who’s a “you.” I think you know who “they” are. But if you’ve got rage too, you got my permission to express it. Because you’re not alone in it.

Okay. I need to get off and go sleep for a few hours. It’s amazing how I work up for these things. And they can be... difficult for me. I’m so pleased you showed up. I’m so pleased you listen to me sometimes. I’ll talk to you soon.

* More Live Autistic Spoken Word

#AutisticAF Out Loud Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. Click to receive new posts and a free subscription. To support my work, consider choosing a paid subscription.

A father’s reflection on parental regret, missed connections, and what it means to forget the life you didn’t live. Raw spoken word + visual art. No hidden meanings. No inspiration. Just what it’s like

👉More poetry: “Live Autistic Truth” playlist (link below)

👉 Full collection: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” (link below)

👉 Transcript: Link in comments

Content note: Parental regret. Family estrangement. Unfiltered autistic experience.

This piece explores the strange way autism and ADHD collapse time. How life-defining choices can feel as forgettable as a radio contest you meant to call. How parental regret sits next to everyday absurdity. How half flying and half falling can be the same motion.

Not here to inspire you. Here to give you an experience of a life.

CHAPTERS

0:00 - Like some angel with a dislocated shoulder0:15 - Half flying, half falling from the day I was born 0:45 - To a silent piano score... a horror picture show1:05 - Don’t be a dick. Real talk.1:25 - That call-in contest you just knew you could win1:35 - Hell, like this song.

—————

MORE FROM THIS COLLECTION

👉 Full chapbook: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head: songs of autistic innocence...and experience”

Amazon: hhttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_812RrZO_QWB-WHVZRBe-hjr37UNPxdb

👉 “Live Autistic Truth” playlist (13 spoken word pieces - poetry + performance + visual art):https://www.amazon.com/every-clock-handgun-pointed-head-ebook/dp/B0FNLHC6SY

👉 Read the transcript + subscribe for weekly pieces:

ABOUT THIS WORK

I’m a 72-year-old autistic poet, performer, and multimedia artist. Diagnosed late in life. Making work that gives you the actual experience of being autistic. Not explanations, not inspiration narratives. Raw, unfiltered, unapologetic.

This piece explores three intertwining themes: parental regret, the autistic experience of time, and what it means to be seen.

Plain language. No academic jargon. No hidden meanings. If you’re autistic, maybe you’ll see yourself. If you’re not, maybe you’ll understand us a little better.

Born to raise hell. Autistic style.

GIFT IDEA

Looking for a meaningful gift for someone autistic in your life? This chapbook says “I see you” not “I want to fix you.” Available on Amazon + as Substack gift subscription.

#SpokenWord #Poetry #ActuallyAutistic #AutismAcceptance #VisualPoetry #MultimediaArt #PerformancePoetry #NeurodivergentArt #AutisticVoices #ContemporaryPoetry

A spoken word piece about family wounds, estrangement, and choosing to live unapologetically.

From Elvis dying on Mount Marcy to stalking Death Valley stars—this is what shameless looks like when you stop trying to be the son they ordered.

👉 Gift Season Special: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head”

https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i

Raw poetry & art exploring autistic innocence and experience. Perfect for:

* Your autistic or ADHD someone (the gift of being seen)

* That someone who isn’t... and wants to understand (the gift of connection)

👉 Get the chapbook:

https://a.co/d/3e0Uc7i

👉 Full text & community: https://substack.com/@johnnyprofane1

👉 Live Autistic Truth playlist:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_812RrZO_QWB-WHVZRBe-hjr37UNPxdb

Chapters:

0:00 Family Is Complex for Me0:11 Living Life Perfectly Shameless0:45 Mount Marcy to Death Valley1:28 No Mask Hides the Pain

Recorded live, November 2024. Minimal edits—this is what authentic sounds like.

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #SpokenWord #FamilyDysfunction #AutisticPoetry #NeurodivergentVoices #AutisticAF

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AutisticAF Out Loud

Not here to inspire you. Here to give you an experience of a life.

Born to raise hell. Autistic style.

Transcript

Family is complex for me, Autistic Plus ADHD. So I call this one, Shameless.

Live long enough

I hate it, I love that one.

This year, give the gift of being seen… to your autistic or ADHD someone.

Or the gift of connection to someone…. who isn’t.

Trump brings Gaza war crimes home to US autistics.

Using starvation to subjugate people is a war crime, whether at the point of a gun or denying SNAP benefits.

November 1st, SNAP halted. Healthcare funding threatened. Social Security could vanish, Trump warns. 42 million Americans face losing food assistance. Not someday—right now.

A nation that uses starvation on its own civilians? I’m no lawyer, but I’d argue that’s tantamount to war on its own people. Any day of the week. And I consider it a crime in its own right, even if courts reserve “war crime” for armed conflict.

I can hear it already: “You’re being dramatic. That’s hyperbolic. You can’t compare domestic policy to Gaza.”

Watch me.

Medieval siege techniques. Surround them and starve them out. Whether it’s Gaza or Indiana.

What’s Actually Happening?

The Trump administration threatens benefits we count on to exist as political leverage during government shutdown negotiations. Support promised to the American public for decades, transformed into weapons to get what Trump wants.

Here’s what international law says about that. The Rome Statute explicitly classifies starvation of civilians as a war crime, a crime against humanity. Around the world, deliberately depriving people of food for political gain—that’s defined as genocide.

These aren’t my words, they’re international law.

Gaza starvation: internationally recognized war crime.

SNAP weaponization: They can call it an unfortunate policy choice, but it’s the same tactic, just a different population. Location doesn’t change that. Denying food to gain power simply is withholding food, withholding life for power. They’re not negotiating. They’re holding a gun to our heads.

Why Autistics First?

Numbers tell you everything you need to know. Autistics face an 85% unemployment rate. So we depend a lot on SNAP—I do. Most of us depend on Medicaid to see our doctors, and many of us are disabled, unable to work. So SSI dependency just to live, it’s a high priority.

The government knows exactly who gets hit when they pull these levers: autistics, neurodivergents. We’re the most vulnerable first. We have the least political power of any minority group, I think.

And look at the language they use. “Efficiency.” “Streamlining.” “Reducing dependency.” It’s the old Nazi “useless eaters” logic dressed up in techno-bro management appeal. Killing off the weak, dusted off and wrapped in budget terminology. We’re the testing ground, that’s how it always works. Start with disabled people. Normalize the tactic. See who complains, see if you can get away with it. Then expand to the next group.

We’re the canaries in the coal mine. We die first. And we’re already choking.

The Roll Call of History: Every Empire Does This

Want to know how I know this is a war crime? Because every failing empire does exactly this. Brings colonial violence home. Every. Single. One.

France took torture techniques from Algeria, brought them home for Paris riot control. The U.S. militarized policing in the Philippines, deployed in Ferguson. Britain did the exact same thing: tactics used in the Irish colonies, in India, that came home to British workers as labor disputes escalated.

This isn’t speculation. This is documented history. The Ottoman Empire in its death throes: Armenian genocide, Greek genocide, Assyrian genocide. Ancient Rome. Ancient Egypt. Every single one.

The pattern is always the same. It starts with unpopular groups: Jews, immigrants, disabled people, people they call “defective,” “foreign,” “unproductive.” Test on them first, see if anyone notices, see if anyone stops you, then expand.

Scholars have a term for this: the “boomerang effect.” Or “internal colonialism”—when you apply colonial logic to your own people. Black radical thinkers saw this first, by the way. They recognized the pattern decades ago.

The Gaslighting Ends Here

So when someone says “You’re being dramatic”? No. I’m being historically accurate.

“That’s hyperbolic.” The Rome Statute disagrees. I can read you the details.

“You can’t compare domestic policy to war.” Every empire in history already done that. They already made that comparison for me.

We’re not comparing tragedies. “Who’s suffering more than who?” We’re recognizing tragedy.

When policy debates require trigger warnings like this article, like this livestream, maybe it’s not policy.

When negotiations threaten survival, maybe they’re not negotiations.

When efficiency means starvation, maybe it’s not efficient. It’s fucking violence.

That need for trigger warnings says it’s violence. Not discourse. We’re not being fragile. We’re being informed. We’re watching it happen in real time. Hell, it’s obvious in every bowl of beans I eat instead of a hell of heavily tariffed hamburger.

What We Do

Living through empire in decline: deadly for many. But here’s what we do.

We call it as we see it. We refuse sanitized language.

When they say “policy,” we call it violence. Because starvation kills as sure as a bullet. Just slower.

When they say “negotiate,” we name it hostage taking for the purpose of political power.

When they say “efficiency,” we shout starvation tactics.

It’s medieval siege by budget. No catapults. No cannons. Just clean spreadsheets.

We document the pattern. We recognize what’s really happening while it’s happening. We tell the truth about what we’re witnessing. And we survive together.

How? Let’s talk again soon on meaningful resistance, survival, and mutual aid. I’m nearly ready to share my thoughts next week in my next livestream.

The Picture I Want to Leave You With

Trump brings Gaza war crimes home. Not as a metaphor—as a moral diagnosis.

Same tactics, similar intent, different location, same fucking outcome.

Starvation is starvation. Siege is siege. Death is death. Even if the law reserves “war crimes” for battlefields and guys in uniform.

Starting with autistics, starting with disabled people, starting with poor people, starting with anyone who needs to eat and expanding from there. Because that’s how it always works.

That’s not drama, not autistic overreaction. If I ever hear that again—fuck the gaslighting we’ve lived through all our damn fucking lives.

That’s international law in definitions. That’s documented history in its examples. That’s pattern recognition across eras. We’re just the ones recognizing it first.

Closing

Listen, that’s all I got really. This episode, it’s why I do these livestreams. Why I need this community, you guys.

Because when they gaslight us, we need witnesses. We need truth.

When they isolate us, we need each other.

When they threaten our survival, we need to document what’s happening in real time.

See you next week around the same time. We’ll talk resistance, mutual aid. What actually works when the empire comes home.

Till then?

Stay weird.

Stay fierce.

Stay alive.

Key Timestamps for Chapter Markers:

* 0:00 - Opening Thesis

* 1:08 - What’s Actually Happening

* 2:23 - Why Autistics First

* 3:19 - The Roll Call of History

* 6:35 - The Gaslighting Ends Here

* 7:50 - What We Do

#AutisticAF Out Loud Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. Click to receive new posts free. To support my work, consider choosing a paid subscription.

* 8:56 - The Picture I Want to Leave You With

* 10:03 - Closing

Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

Show notes and transcript up tomorrow, 11/3.

#AutisticAF Out Loud Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. Click to receive new posts… free. To support my work, please consider a paid subscription.

Notes, sources, and further reading

not comprehensive or complete, but where I started

International Law: Starvation as War Crime

Supporting Sources:

* Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court, Article 8(2)(b)(xxv): Case Matrix Network documenting “Intentionally using starvation of civilians as a method of warfare” as war crime casematrixnetwork​

* D’Alessandra, Federica and Matthew Gillett. “The war crime of starvation in non-international armed conflict.” Oxford Blavatnik School of Government Working Paper BSG-WP-2019-031 (November 2019) bsg.ox​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* Lieber Institute West Point. “The War Crime of Starvation – The Irony of Grasping at Low Hanging Fruit” (September 2024): Notes starvation crime requires armed conflict context and specific intent elements; discusses challenges of prosecution lieber.westpoint​

SNAP Shutdown & November 2025 Funding Crisis

Supporting Sources:

* CBS News. “SNAP funding is set to lapse Nov. 1, leaving recipients empty-handed” (October 30, 2025): USDA memo states “the well has run dry” and “At this time, there will be no benefits issued November 01”; 42 million Americans affected cbsnews+1​

* NBC News. “Government shutdown effects bear down on millions more people after a crucial Nov. 1 deadline passes” (November 1, 2025): Despite judge’s ruling, Trump administration indicated November SNAP payments likely delayed nbcnews​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* NBC News. “Federal judge orders Trump administration to pay SNAP benefits out of contingency fund” (October 31, 2025): Rhode Island Judge McConnell and Massachusetts Judge Talwani ruled USDA must use $5.25B contingency fund; creates uncertainty about timing rather than total cutoff nbcnews​

Government Shutdown Timeline & Status

Supporting Sources:

* Wikipedia. “2025 United States federal government shutdown” (updated November 2025): Documents shutdown began 12:01 AM EDT October 1, 2025; became second-longest (22 days) on October 22; resulted from partisan disagreements over spending, foreign aid, and ACA health subsidies wikipedia​

* CBS News. “The 2025 U.S government shutdown, by the numbers” (October 30, 2025): Senate has voted 13 times on House-passed continuing resolution; all failed to reach 60-vote threshold needed to overcome filibuster cbsnews​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* NPR. “The federal government is still shut down. Here’s what that means across the country” (October 30, 2025): Notes Republicans blame Democrats for voting against funding 14 times; Democrats counter that GOP refuses to address expiring ACA tax credits affecting 24 million Americans npr​

USDA Refusal to Use Emergency Funds

Supporting Sources:

* Texas Tribune. “The federal shutdown will halt November SNAP benefits” (October 28, 2025): USDA Secretary Brooke Rollins stated October 27 via USDA website that no November 2025 SNAP benefits would be issued; agency memo says “contingency funds are not legally available to cover regular benefits” texastribune​

* USA Today. “Government shutdown live updates” (November 2, 2025): Documents that USDA claimed $5.25 billion contingency fund reserved for disasters, not regular benefits; judges ordered use anyway usatoday​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* Fortune. “Judges order Trump administration to use emergency reserves for SNAP payments during the shutdown” (October 31, 2025): Federal courts rejected USDA legal interpretation; Massachusetts Judge Talwani ruled government “obligated to deploy contingency funds as necessary” fortune​

Social Security & Trump Warnings

Supporting Sources:

* Newsweek. “Social Security, Medicare are ‘going to be gone,’ Donald Trump warns” (October 21, 2025): Reports Trump statement during shutdown linking Democratic opposition to potential program loss newsweek​

* Duke University Government Relations. “Fall 2025 Government Shutdown Updates” (October 31, 2025): Notes “Social Security ‘could vanish,’ Trump warns” among shutdown impacts; documents 31-day shutdown status governmentrelations.duke​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* American Progress. “The Trump Administration’s Plans To Covertly Cut Social Security Disability Benefits” (October 2025): Distinguishes between shutdown rhetoric and separate regulatory changes to tighten disability eligibility criteria americanprogress​

Autism Employment & Benefit Dependency

Supporting Sources:

* Autism Society. “Employment Statistics” (October 2025): Reports up to 85% of autistic adults with college degrees unemployed or underemployed; notes 40% lower earnings than peers with other disabilities autismsociety​

* Kids Club ABA. “Autism Unemployment Rate” (May 2025): Cites National Autism Indicators Report showing 14-16% full-time employment among autistic adults kidsclubaba​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* Reddit r/autism. “PSA: The ‘85% autism unemployment rate’ isn’t accurate” (July 2024): Statistical critique noting figure conflates unemployment, underemployment, and labor force non-participation; argues if 85% of autistic adults were unemployed, they’d represent 94% of all unemployed at 4% national rate reddit​

“Useless Eaters” & Eugenic Rhetoric

Supporting Sources:

* Mostert, Mark P. “Useless Eaters: Disability as Genocidal Marker in Nazi Germany.” Documents Binding & Hoche 1920 tract; eugenic progression from efficiency language to T-4 program catholicculture+2​

* NIH/PMC. “Confronting the Legacy of Eugenics and Ableism” (December 2023): Shows Industrial Revolution capitalist productivity models reframed disability as state cost pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* Migration journal. “Reconsidering the history of eugenics and discrimination” (December 2024): Notes eugenic ideas were “deeply intertwined” with race, gender, class and disability—varied significantly across national contexts academic.oup​

Boomerang Effect & Internal Colonialism

Supporting Sources:

* Wikipedia. “Imperial boomerang”: Documents Césaire’s “terrific boomerang” thesis from Discourse on Colonialism (1950); Foucault’s “Society Must Be Defended” lecture (1976) on colonial tactics returning home wikipedia​

* Osun Global Commons. “Césaire’s Boomerang Effect on the Streets of Berlin” (March 2023): Analyzes how European bourgeoisie “tolerated Nazism before it was inflicted on them” because it targeted non-Europeans first osunglobalcommons​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* Reality Studies. “The Department of War on American Cities, Ukraine, Gaza, and the Imperial Boomerang” (September 2025): Cautions against deterministic causation in linking colonial and domestic tactics realitystudies​

Britain: Colonial Policing to Domestic Control

Supporting Sources:

* Wikipedia. “Aliens Act 1905”: Documents how British emergency powers and crowd-control from Ireland informed domestic legislation wikipedia​

* Human Rights Watch. “This Alien Legacy: The Origins of ‘Sodomy’ Laws in British Colonialism” (December 2008): Shows British colonial legal mechanisms later echoed in domestic law hrw​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* Past & Present. “Aliens in a Revolutionary World” (April 2022): Notes British Alien Act 1793 “fell into disuse” post-Napoleonic Wars, complicating narrative of automatic domestic adoption academic.oup​

France/Algeria: Torture Techniques to Paris

Supporting Sources:

* World Socialist Web Site. “Maurice Papon and the October 1961 massacre of Paris” (October 2021): Documents Papon’s 1956-58 Algeria torture role, then as Paris police chief applied “same methods” in 1961 massacre wsws​

* BBC. “How a massacre of Algerians in Paris was covered up” (October 2021): Confirms Papon supervised “repression and torture” in Algeria 1956; police records show he directed 1961 Paris massacre tactics bbc​

Counter/Nuance Source:

* LA Review of Books. “How to Forget a Massacre” (October 2019): Emphasizes Papon’s individual agency empowered by de Gaulle rather than systemic inevitab…

My autism? Failing upward toward collapse, succeeding downward toward joy?

What if you weren't born to produce anything?

👉 New Chapbook: "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head" → https://www.amazon.com/every-clock-handgun-pointed-head-ebook/dp/B0FNLHC6SY

👉 Start Here: Live Autistic Truth playlist → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgBbPyJUGJw&list=PL_812RrZO_QWB-WHVZRBe-hjr37UNPxdb

👉 Full text & weekly authentic autistic content → ://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com

What if your life's value isn't measured by output, productivity, or what you create for others?

This piece explores the quantum reality of autistic life—simultaneously failing and succeeding, finding purpose in purposelessness, and why a shooting star slashing through darkness doesn't need to justify its existence.

For late-diagnosed autistic adults tired of productivity culture, their families learning to understand, and anyone questioning whether their worth depends on what they produce.

Recorded live from my subStack studio—raw, unfiltered philosophical spoken word about autism, authenticity, and finding joy in simply experiencing this moment.

Subscribe for weekly autistic perspectives that challenge productivity culture and celebrate authentic existence. Share with someone drowning in "should be doing more."

Next: More poetry from the chapbook collection exploring autistic time, family trauma, and moments of unexpected joy.

Autistic elder. Poet. Born to observe, experience, and overshare.

#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticPhilosophy #ProductivityCulture #AutisticAdult #LateAutistic #Neurodivergent #SpokenWord #AuthenticVoices #AutismAcceptance #AntiProductivity #AutisticJoy #MentalHealthPoetry #AutisticLife #Burnout #LifePurpose #AutisticExpression

RFK Jr.’s autism claims aren’t about helping anyone—they’re about deciding who gets to exist in America.

👉 New Chapbook: “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” - https://www.amazon.com/every-clock-handgun-pointed-head-ebook/dp/B0FNLHC6SY

👉 Start Here: Live Autistic Truth playlist

👉 Full Text & Sources: https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com

Chapters:

0:00 Cold Open + Promise 0:45 RFKjr’s Agenda vs the Facts1:52 Name the Agenda: Eugenics2:31 Mask of Compassion for Parents... A False Flag4:08 A Kind Word for Tylenol4:53 Foreword to Our Future: Born to Raise Hell5:32 Build a Better World for Our Kids7:45 Here’s My Freaking Topic Sentence… and I DO Have One8:41 What’s Next?

Coming Next: How resistance actually works—building power from your hometown up.

This piece combines political commentary with personal autistic experience. Recorded live November 2024 as part of my ongoing “Trigger Warnings” series analyzing current events through a neurodivergent lens.

Subscribe for regular Trigger Warnings content and authentic autistic perspectives. Share with someone who needs to hear this.

👉 subStack: @johnnyprofane1 for deep dives and subscriber-only livestreams.

Content Note: Political commentary, personal autistic experience... and the occasional wise crack.

#ActuallyAutistic #AutismAcceptance #Neurodiversity #PoliticalCommentary #TriggerWarnings #AutisticVoices #RFKJr #Resistance

#AutisticAF Out Loud Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. Click to receive new posts… free. To support my work, please consider a paid subscriber.

Sources & Further Reading:

Not comprehensive or complete, just my starting points.

1. RFK Jr.’s Tylenol-Autism Claims Lack Scientific Support

Supporting Sources (Claims are not substantiated):

* Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health (2025): “The research so far—including one of the largest studies yet on the topic—suggests that Tylenol use during pregnancy does not cause autism.”https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2025/the-evidence-on-tylenol-and-autism

* JAMA Study (2024): The largest sibling-controlled study to date found that while population-based models showed small associations between prenatal acetaminophen use and autism (HR 1.05), when controlling for familial factors using sibling comparisons, acetaminophen showed no association with autism risk (HR 0.98). This suggests confounding factors, not causation.https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2817406

* Autism Science Foundation (2025): “Any association between acetaminophen and autism is based on limited, conflicting, and inconsistent science and is premature given the current science. Autism doesn’t have a single cause. It is the result of a complex mix of genetics and environment.”https://autismsciencefoundation.org/press_releases/statement-from-autism-science-foundation-regarding-wall-street-journal-report-rfk-jr-hhs-to-link-autism-to-tylenol-use-in-pregnancy-and-folate-deficiencies/

* PBS/PolitiFact Fact-Check (2025): Medical experts state Kennedy’s portrayal of autism and causation claims are skewed. “A 2023 study written by CDC officials and university researchers found that one-quarter of people on the autism spectrum have severe limitations. But this is on the high end of studies.”https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/fact-checking-robert-f-kennedy-jr-s-statements-on-autism

Balancing Source (Some association found, but not definitive):

* Mount Sinai Study (2025): Applied rigorous Navigation Guide methodology to 46 studies with 100,000+ participants and found evidence suggesting prenatal acetaminophen exposure “may be linked to increased risk of neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism spectrum disorder and ADHD.” However, the study emphasizes this “underscores the need for both caution and further study” - not definitive causation.https://www.mountsinai.org/about/newsroom/2025/mount-sinai-study-supports-evidence-that-prenatal-acetaminophen-use-may-be-linked-to-increased-risk-of-autism-and-adhd

2. Acetaminophen’s Neurological Effects on Pain Processing

Supporting Sources (Acetaminophen affects emotional/social pain):

* University of California Study (2010): Published in Psychological Science, found acetaminophen reduced both behavioral and neural responses to social rejection, demonstrating “substantial overlap between social and physical pain” in brain regions like the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula.https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20548058/

* UCLA Study (2015): Found acetaminophen “seems to diminish our emotional highs and lows” and reduces empathy for both positive and negative experiences, suggesting it affects emotional processing through brain regions involved in emotional awareness.https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6455058/https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/12/04/567762087/tylenol-may-help-ease-the-pain-of-hurt-feelings

* NIH/PMC Review (2021): Comprehensive systematic review found “acetaminophen has been shown to reduce affective responses to both negative and positive emotional images and reduced the neural responses associated with experiences of acute pain,” confirming effects on overlapping neural circuits for physical, emotional, and social pain.https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8594782/

Balancing Source (Mechanism still not fully understood):

* Tufts School of Medicine (2022): While acknowledging acetaminophen’s effectiveness, notes “how it works remains a mystery” even after 150 years of study. The mechanism by which it affects pain - whether through COX enzymes in the brain or other pathways - is “still speculative.”https://medicine.tufts.edu/news-events/news/how-does-acetaminophen-work

3. Eugenics, Ableism, and the Trump Administration’s Approach to Disability

Supporting Sources (Eugenics rhetoric and policies toward disabled people):

* Scientific American (2025): “By going after Social Security, the Department of Veterans Affairs and the Department of Education, Donald Trump is signaling his belief that having ‘good genes’ means not having a disability... this is nothing other than ableism, eugenics doctrine at work in the highest level of government.”https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/slashing-programs-that-help-people-with-disabilities-is-a-nod-to-eugenics/

* The Conversation (2025): “Part of a eugenic logic is the ongoing belief that erasing disability and people with disabilities is a desirable and commonsense objective... RFK Jr.’s eugenic rhetoric resonates strongly in contemporary discourse. It aligns politically with neoliberalism, fostering a version of ableism that views citizens as ‘able-bodied entrepreneurial entities.’”https://theconversation.com/uninformed-comments-on-autism-are-resonant-of-dangerous-ideas-about-eugenics-256762

* STAT News (2025): “The Trump administration’s approach to autism is tangled up with ableism, eugenics, and pronatalism... Using this framing dehumanizes autistic people in ways that echo the eugenic policies of the early 20th century.”https://www.statnews.com/2025/10/03/autism-tylenol-rfk-jr-trump-ableism-eugenics-pronatalism/

* Autistic Self Advocacy Network (2025): “Secretary Kennedy sees us as experimental subjects whose health and safety from abusive medical treatment is secondary to vindicating his own views on vaccines and autism. He is determined to try to find a ‘cure’ for autism despite the discredited methods he mentions being repeatedly disproven.”https://autisticadvocacy.org/2025/05/crisis-of-confidence-robert-f-kennedy-jr-continues-to-use-his-position-at-hhs-to-promote-lies-about-autism-public-health/

Balancing Source (Autism research organizations distance themselves from eugenics):

* Autism Speaks (2024): Explicitly states “We do not support eugenics. The focus of our genetics research is to help more autistic people access personalized care that will empower them to lead their best lives... There is no cure for autism, and we do not support research searching for a cure.” (Note: Autism Speaks has historically been criticized by autistic self-advocates but has sh…

👉 Check out Trigger Warnings playlist More analysis on how world events impact neurodivergent lives and practical resistance strategies.

I just saw Trump disbands Congress. For all intents and purposes, the US government isn’t just shut down—Trump has effectively rendered Congress useless and substituted his own personal will for governance.

00:00 Cold Open + Promise 00:25 “Disbands Congress” Now 01:43 Soft Authoritarian Playbook 02:12 Congress Halted; Senate Stalled 03:28 De Facto Control Landscape 04:36 One Tiny Move to Martial Law 05:09 Wrong Time to Be Different? 05:49 Resistance Starts at Home 06:39 What’s Next?

This is not a good time to be different. To have the wrong politics, wrong religion, wrong color. Closer to home, the wrong neurotype.

But neurodivergent people have always known how to find patterns in chaos and recognize the moment when to act. We find our moment.

👉 Subscribe for upcoming episode: Local resistance playbook specifically for autistic and neurodivergent communities. Get updates on new episodes. 👉 Watch “every clock as a handgun pointed at my head” next. More on autistic experience of time and survival.

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* - Drop your thoughts in the comments

* - What patterns are you seeing in your community?

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👉 My poetry book “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head” explores autistic experience without inspiration porn:

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#neurodivergent #politics #resistance #autism #congress #authoritarianism #patterns #community

👉 Sources. Not comprehensive or complete. But some of what I found.

House procedure and swearing‑in dispute

* CNN — Speaker Johnson said he’d swear in new House Democrat ‘as soon as she wants.’ Now Republicans are backtracking (2025-10-07): https://www.cnn.com/2025/10/07/politics/johnson-adelita-grijalva-swearing-in

* The Hill — Johnson: Not swearing in Democrat has ‘nothing to do’ with Epstein files (2025-10-07): https://www.thehill.com/homenews/house/5543576-johnson-grijalva-seating-delay/

House no‑show/shutdown strategy and operational sidelining

* Associated Press — Speaker Johnson keeps the House away as he fights to end the government shutdown (2025-10-10): https://apnews.com/article/house-speaker-johnson-government-shutdown-grijalva-526647b57faa2710382674646dfd2b37

* Politico — Mike Johnson sticks to no‑show shutdown strategy as resistance mounts (2025-10-09): https://www.politico.com/news/2025/10/09/mike-johnson-shutdown-no-show-00601215

Broader executive power and democratic backsliding context

* Brookings — Tracking regulatory changes in the second Trump administration (2025-09-29): https://www.brookings.edu/articles/tracking-regulatory-changes-in-the-second-trump-administration/

* NPR — U.S. is sliding toward authoritarianism, hundreds of scholars say (2025-04-21): https://www.npr.org/2025/04/22/nx-s1-5340753/trump-democracy-authoritarianism-competive-survey-political-scientist

Reference for formal congressional status

* Federal Register — 2025 Donald J. Trump Executive Orders (index): https://www.federalregister.gov/presidential-documents/executive-orders/donald-trump/2025

* Wikipedia — 119th United States Congress: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/119th_United_States_Congress

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Trigger Warnings: Trump Disbands Congress

Sources:Democracy Now!

democracynow.org/2025/10/8/adel…

“Scary Precedent”: GOP Blocks Rep.-Elect Adelita Grijalva from Taking Seat Amid Epstein Files Fight

Representative-elect Adelita Grijalva, who won a special election for a House seat in Arizona two weeks ago, has still not been sworn in to Congress. Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is blaming the government shutdown for the delay, even though he previously expedited the swearing-in of multiple Republicans who won their special elections before election results were even in. It’s more likely, say supporters, that Grijalva is being held up to prevent what she has pledged will be her first act in Congress: adding her name to and thus triggering a vote on California Congressmember Ro Khanna’s bill for the public release of files related to the federal investigation of sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. “She needs to get sworn in today,” says Khanna, adding that every day Grijalva is not seated in the House “is breaking precedent and depriving people of who they voted for.” Grijalva says, “This is an incredibly scary precedent to set. If you don’t agree with the politics of the speaker, then they can keep you out of your duly elected office.” Khanna and Grijalva also discuss the legacy of Grijalva’s late father, the longtime Arizona Congressmember Raúl Grijalva; the Trump administration’s crackdown on immigration; right-wing attacks on freedom of the press; and more.

AP News

apnews.com/article/house-…

Speaker Johnson keeps the House away as he fights to end the government shutdown

House members’ absence during the government shutdown is creating a political dilemma for Republican Speaker Mike Johnson and is testing his leadership.

Chicago Tribune

chicagotribune.com/2025/10/10/mik…

Speaker Mike Johnson keeps the House away as he fights to end ...

Mike Johnson is the speaker of a House that is no longer in session.

POLITICO

politico.com/news/2025/10/0…

Mike Johnson sticks to no-show shutdown strategy as ... - Politico

“There is absolutely no reason for the House to be out of session,” GOP Rep. Kevin Kiley said. “It’s embarrassing.’

Democratic Erosion Consortium

democratic-erosion.org/2025/04/18/how…

How to Erode a Democracy: Hungary’s Illiberal Turn Under Orbán

This blog post examines how Viktor Orbán has used media control, legal manipulation, and populist nationalism to methodically destroy Hungary’s democratic institutions and turn the nation into the first “illiberal democracy” in the EU.

NPR

npr.org/2025/04/20/nx-…

Hungary’s Orban demonstrates how to dismantle democracy - NPR

The dismantling of Hungary’s democracy is a point of fascination for political scientists around the world — including those advising the Trump administration.

cnn

cnn.com/2020/03/30/eur…

Hungarian parliament votes to let Viktor Orban rule by decree ... - CNN

Hungary’s parliament has voted to allow Prime Minister Viktor Orban to rule by decree indefinitely, in order to combat the coronavirus pandemic, giving the populist leader extra powers to unilaterally…

CNN

cnn.com/2025/10/08/pol…

Tempers flare between Democratic senators and Speaker Johnson over Grijalva’s swearing in and shutdown strategy

Arizona’s Democratic senators got into a hallway confrontation with Republican House Speaker Mike Johnson on Wednesday as the government shutdown’s eighth day dragged on.

RFKjr & Autism: I Wrote a Foreword Just for You

Sources

Counter/neutral positions from regulators and clinical bodies

* European Medicines Agency (EMA), PRAC communications on paracetamol in pregnancy: EMA has stated available evidence does not establish a causal link; use remains appropriate when clinically indicated at the lowest effective dose. Overview page: https://www.ema.europa.eu/en/medicines/human/referrals/paracetamol

* (If needed: EMA general paracetamol product information hub where PRAC updates are posted.)

* American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). ACOG Guidance: Acetaminophen use during pregnancy. ACOG states evidence of neurodevelopmental harms is inconsistent and methodologically limited; acetaminophen remains appropriate when indicated. Practice Advisory/FAQ landing: https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/medication-safety-during-pregnancy

Systematic reviews/meta-analyses with nuanced conclusions

* Alemany S et al. Prenatal and postnatal exposure to acetaminophen and ADHD and autism spectrum symptoms in childhood: meta-analysis/pooled observational evidence. European Journal of Epidemiology (2021). Publisher page (Springer): https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10654-021-00757-3

U.S. federal perspective

* U.S. FDA Drug Safety (Acetaminophen use in pregnancy). FDA has not concluded causality with autism; advises using the lowest effective dose for the shortest duration. Consumer/Drug Safety hub: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/acetaminophen-overdose-and-liver-injury-know-ingredients-your-medicine

* For pregnancy-specific FDA language, see: https://www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/medication-use-during-pregnancy-and-lactation

Supportive association signals (observational; not proof of causality, few supportive links exist)

* Ji Y et al. Association of Cord Plasma Biomarkers of In Utero Acetaminophen Exposure With Risk of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder. JAMA Psychiatry (2019). Link: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2753510

Evidence on emotional and social pain blunting

* Social pain/evaluative processing: Experimental psychology studies have reported that standard doses of acetaminophen can reduce the distress of social rejection and blunt affective evaluations, suggesting overlap between physical and social pain processing in the brain. These findings support the idea that acetaminophen influences affective components of pain perception, though effect sizes are modest and not uniformly replicated across all paradigms. pbs​

* Risk of overgeneralization: While these lab findings are provocative, they do not establish acetaminophen as a mood treatment. Regulatory and clinical bodies do not recommend acetaminophen for depression, and evidence for sustained antidepressant benefit is lacking. pbs