Aww Shift

In today’s episode, we have invited Jonathan Fields to the show. Jonathan is the Founder/CEO of Spark Endeavors and the lead architect behind the Sparketypes. An arch typing system and set of tools used by over 500,000 people and organizations to identify, nurture, and cultivate work that brings people alive and equips organizations and leaders to more effectively unlocking potential, motivation, impact, and joy. He is also an author and has been featured everywhere from New York Times, Wall Street Journal Fast Company, Inc, The Guardian Vogue, and more. Tune in to this episode; you are going to love it!

[2:39] Why should we listen to you?

 

Don't listen to me. If I start speaking to you, it's probably going to be to invite you to start listening to yourself, to your heart, to the whisper that lies deep inside of you that you've probably been ignoring for a long time. When I start talking, it's usually to ask questions or make an invitation that doesn't have to do with you listening to me but you tuning into yourself.

 

[5:01] Navigating people to listen to themselves

 

We've become so disembodied and not trained to pay attention to what's going on within ourselves because it's an uncomfortable exploration. The bigger thing is not necessarily that there's some deeper trauma, but we're just taught that there is an ideal that we're expected to live into. 

 

[6:55] Nobody ever gave us a process or set of tools that would help us navigate it. So we're left unaware and unequipped. And so we follow the path that seems like it's all laid out for us. 

 

[7:37] Human's desire to be part of a tribe and not be solo

 

The research around belonging, a very clear, well-defined physiological and psychological need, is one of the primal needs we all have to belong to. Not the avatar of who we project ourselves to be but the actual essence of who we are. We need that to belong. We have this really deep, deep need for people around us to see us, know us, and be accepted. A lot of folks say that it's probably primarily grounded in survival. 

 

[11:06] We as human beings, there's something weird in our brain that says, if we make a statement or take even the tiniest action. This is what I believe where I support this particular thing, we want to be seen, we want to see ourselves, and we want to be perceived as up by others as being consistent with that initial thing. But we want to be seen as consistent within the group or community of people taking similar actions and making similar decisions because we were terrified of being cast out.

 

[15:37] How would somebody leave that bubble of being that limbo of it's just me, and build into that new kind of group, a new community, new tribe?

 

It would be cool if we were emotionally equipped to step into the best as the next move, rather than step into the next community. My sense is the way it normally happens is somebody finds a much better-aligned group of people and then rather than stepping into the best of let me figure this out, and then go in search of another group. They don't leave the current group until they find the next one. And in no small part, I sometimes think the reason for that is because they don't realize how poorly aligned they are with a group or community until they see a different group of human beings.

 

[30:19] Thoughts on how to get a person who is aspiring to something and it needs to be something they can almost do unconsciously

 

The question for me is, why are they not doing it in the first place? Is it not their vision? Imagine every step, every action you're going to have to take, every hour you're going to have to devote to getting to that place, reverse engineer, and map the whole thing out in detail. Because if you don't, and you can't find a way to want it, and state the end state isn't yours to own, it's better to make peace with that and find an end state that is yours to own. Where you are willing to see all the effort to get there rather than diluting yourself and saying this is the thing that I want, this is the thing that I meant to be, but never actually owning the fact that you will never do the things needed to get to be or accomplish it.

 

[36:40] Opportunities

 

My fundamental impulse or effort is to make ideas manifest. I love the process of creation. But part of that is I'm constantly teased by seeing all these different things to create. As part of my work this year in 2022, I'm asking myself, what steps do I need to take? What are the resources that I need to harness? Who are the people that I need to bring into my orbit to allow me to earn myself back to this place of fewer things better? I sort of have the year as like I'm building a plan to map myself back into this place where I get to know that there is the beautiful impact that's being created by the media that we're producing on one company and the tools and assessments that we're producing at another company.

 

[45:37] I make this decision much more intentionally than just defaulting into it. I realize I'm about to do a whole bunch of work necessary for me to move forward with a bigger vision that I care deeply about and that I care about the outcome.

 

[49:20] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?

 

I'm in two ways. I don't necessarily experience God in the form of a gendered being but rather more of a generalized energetic experience. The second is this. I would probably see as more of what invitation rather than what promise and the invitation is to live into my truest self, and in doing so maybe serve as an example for others to accept that same invitation. 

  

Key Quotes:

 

[28:18-28:22] “All we can do is keep doing our best and then keep holding ourselves open to growing.”

 

[35:19-35:33] “Moment in time distracts us from the level of certainty from the need to go narrow and deep to accomplish competence and mastery in any one given domain that gives us this feeling of a deep sense of accomplishment.“

Learn more about Jonathan Fields on:

 

Website: https://sparketype.com/ 

               https://www.jonathanfields.com/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iamjonathanfields/ 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/jonathanfields 

Guesting on this episode is Koya Webb, an internationally recognized yoga teacher, celebrity holistic health coach, author, speaker, and vegan activist. Her core mission is to promote daily self-care, oneness, and eco-friendly living to combat some of the world's biggest challenges, including mental health, social injustices, and global warming. Koya is the founder of "Get Loved Up," an international lifestyle community and Yoga School that inspires mental, spiritual, and physical health through an app, online courses, retreats, in-person yoga teacher training events. Today, she shares with us how Yoga has changed her life.  

Why should we listen to you?

[3:24] I'm an empath and a compassionate person. That means I actually can feel like if someone's feeling sad or someone's angry, even if they're not stomping around, and I can pick up specific energy for them.

[4:25] I naturally love people, and if something has happened to you, I love just hearing your background. As a little girl, I naturally cared about people when people were hurting, I'd feel pain, and I feel sadness. 

Who is Koya as a Coach? 

[6:54] I am a holistic health coach and wellness entrepreneur, holistic health coach. I help people mentally, spiritually, physically, and not just by saying those words. Still, I have tools, courses, and practices that spiritually help people learn meditation and breathwork, physically plant-based nutrition, and working out, whether it be Yoga or fitness or just going for a walk in nature. To live a healthy and active lifestyle, you need all of those aspects and well-being rituals that can help you through any time you're going through it in life. I love developing products that help people live healthy and active lifestyles.

Feeling a Connection in Yoga 

[9:49] I got an injury, and I hurt my elbow for my lower back. I was stressed out and depressed. So I went into a yoga class, and it was when the teacher guided me to my breath that's when I felt alignment with spirit. When I got in this class and felt this full-body chill when I breathed, it felt like the Holy Spirit. And honestly, now, that's where I find my connection.

[13:41] Yoga taught me to rest, relax, recover, and how important my health was. The injury taught me that I can't run myself into the ground and still expect to be 100%. But I didn't learn right away. I would move to California and got a coach to coach me, and I went right back into hardcore, personal training because that's what I decided to do. I was stressed out. I was jumping, and I got injured again. After the second injury, I decided to go back to Yoga. It healed me again. But the second time, I said, "everyone should have this gift in their life."

How Personal Training has helped Koya 

[18:41] It helped me out so much because I understand the body and how it works and the science behind losing weight, gaining weight, and how that part of the physical part of it. I learned about bodies by spending time with people and noticing I worked at 24 Hour Fitness. So it wasn't just a specific type of body that I was handling; I work with many different kinds of bodies, men and women of all different sizes. I had to get creative. I had to listen to people. I had to learn what was going to work for their body. I hadn't had to learn how to keep them safe, how to diagnose injuries, and keep people safe. For me, it was really about a healthy lifestyle.

Creating a Balanced Lifestyle 

[21:52] Everyone loves the fact that they can eat whatever they want. So that's the biggest thing that I get pushback on. What I do now is figuring out how you can have what you like in a balanced way and achieve the goals you want. When it comes to spirituality, I try to connect you and align with your lifestyle and purpose, no matter what you're doing. As a holistic health coach, it is bringing those things together and seeing how you can create an optimal lifestyle for yourself. You don't have to be perfect. You can still eat some, but if you're eating junk foods every day, you might not achieve that goal you set out for yourself.

Koya's Biggest Challenge 

[27:11] I think my biggest battle was codependency and over-giving and over-loving people. There is a balance in giving or serving others, and you cannot love others to the detriment of yourself.

[31:02] If you're a lover and a giver, and you don't set boundaries for yourself, you will find yourself running all over the place. Anytime someone calls you, you're there. If someone asked me for something, to get something to help with something, you could depend on me to do it. I was a woman of my word, and I will sacrifice myself. So I literally would give to a fall, and it had to create some balance. So set some boundaries for yourself. Have something that you're regularly doing. And now and then, you can push the limits for someone else. But check in with yourself first before you say yes.

Koya's Mission 

[34:01] The experience is a journey. I want to create a resource, a toolkit, where people can reach inside this health and wellness toolbox and find what they need to enhance their lives. My goal is to help people inspire people to live healthy and active lifestyles. Because I feel like it's not only suitable for the person, but it's also good for the world. The healthier we are individual, the healthier we're going to be collective.

[34:45] Our motto is "Love yourself. Love others. Love the world." Many of us want to skip to love in the world and be of service, but we do not love ourselves, or maybe we do not love our partner or that person who is different from us. But it is about practicing self-love, self-forgiveness, and dialing in with yourself because if you can acknowledge your fears and flaws, you can have compassion.

"You are Enough" 

[39:05] You are enough. I think people do things in life, and they're trying to get to attain something, and it's purpose-driven. So it's something that I constantly have to tell myself that I don't have to do anything to be loved, and I don't have to do anything to be great. Just breathing and taking up space is enough, just like nature. Telling someone they're enough, I think, is one of the most powerful things that you can say.

What promise did God make to the world when He created you? 

[42:58] Love. So Love is like presence. We all are Love, and we all are oneness. So I'm just an awareness of the vibration of Love. I do believe that's what we all are. Weirdly, I think that we function in different dimensions frequency of that divine oneness. But it's still all part of Love. It is all part of the experience. When we're experiencing anger, fear, sadness, it is just feedback to where we are in this in this in this oneness in this vibration. So I feel like life is very vibrational, and the vibration that created us is also the vibration that sustains us, even when things aren't great. 

Key Quotes:

[14:35 – 14:48] "That mental 'slow down and listen' that you get from Yoga is what is healing and allowing your body to heal at the same time."

[27:58 – 28:02] You cannot love others to the detriment of yourself.

[47:10 – 47:25] Everything we decide, there's no right or wrong. It's just choices, and when we make those choices, we're honoring ourselves.

 

Learn more about Koya Webb on:

Website: https://koyawebb.com/

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/KoyaWebbOnline/?_rdc=1&_rdr

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/koya-webb-6775bb75/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/koyawebb/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/KoyaWebb

Podcast: https://koyawebb.com/podcast/

 

In today’s episode, our guest is an author and speaker, Mel Robbins. She was the world's most booked female speaker, with a fee of $100,000 per hour. She had numerous audiobooks being listened to every day. The 5 Second Rule was Audible's nonfiction bestseller in 2017 and the most successful self-published audiobook of all time, with 2 million copies sold in 33 languages and 100,000+ five-star ratings. Today, she will share with us her journey on how she figured out how she can change her habits and be a more confident and fulfilled person. Stay tuned! 

 

[3:02] Why should we listen to you?

 

I don't think you should, and I believe that you should do what you authentically want to do. And if I have a vibe or energy about me that clicks, then you'll want to listen and talk to me. And if I don't, you shouldn't listen or talk to me.

 

[4:04] Do you find you've ever had conversations where you feel like “I'm supposed to be important,” and then someone makes it clear you're not to them? 

 

I recently had this interview where it was a guy who I think had been in broadcast forever. He had invited me to come on his podcast. And he's not on camera. He keeps his camera off. And I say, hey, I've done some research, but could you tell me about your audience and your ideal intention so that I can make sure that the way I show up in this interview aligns with what your audience likes? And he's like, “Oh, it's a generic audience.” He was dismissive. Then he asked me the first question, which was, “So, tell me about the high five habits.” It was a wide-open question. I was explaining whatever, I've just written a book about it. And so I'm telling the story, and all of a sudden he goes, “You know, could you stop talking? We need a back and forth. I don't need you to give me a goddamn presentation.”

 

[8:41] “It's hard to see the label when you're the one inside the jar.”

 

What that made me think about is that one of the biggest challenges that I have as a mom is dealing with any issue where our kids feel anxious because it triggers my own anxiety and then I rush in to try to get rid of the anxiety and solve the situation which only makes the anxiety stick around and come back because I'm not teaching them how to problem solve through it. I'm rescuing them. And so that's been a really difficult issue for me to try to work through. But that's not the label of my job this year.

 

[11:00] It's hard to see the label when you're inside the jar. And you know you're inside the jar because it's frustrating to try to get the lid off no matter how hard you're cranking. I think the label on the jar I've been trapped in is successful but miserable.

 

[16:24] Your fears are so much a part of who you are that every time you go to level up or ask, “Well, what's next? Or what do I want to do?”, you will immediately level it back down based on that fear. That's the only thing that will allow me to get out of that fucking jar.

 

[18:48] Harmony

 

I love the word harmony. Whenever anybody asks me about life balance, I say I don't believe in that. I believe in work-life harmony. Things fit together when they're in harmony. One of the most important things for creating harmony is boundaries. They will only fit together if they aren't competing with one another. And that doesn't mean the rigidity of this. It just means you don't want to find yourself in a zone where it's not kind of the black and white kind of weave together. Everything's a gray blob because you're always working and there's got to be a little bit of separation. 

 

[22:18] What do I want my life to look like? 

 

I'm looking for areas where there is friction. I'll give you an example. This morning, I was talking with somebody that works on my team. And we were talking about the newsletter that will go out this week to our newsletter list. And we have a huge newsletter list. And I have to be honest with you, I hate writing the newsletter. Because the process of writing it, creating it, all of it creates a ton of friction. For me, the process is broken. I'm not clear about what I'm doing. It's just not joyful. And one of the things I know that I want in my life is to have more fun and be more joyful in the process of doing work. And there's a lot of things that I do in my work, a life that is fun and has no friction.

 

[30:02] My medium happens to be making videos, writing books, talking to people, soon to be podcasting as well. When I finally permitted myself to realize that being a businesswoman, a dealmaker, and an artist are the two things that I love to do. And it means that I'm always going to be creating something. With every project or new thing that we take on, there's always something that you're going to learn. 

 

[36:54] Life Lesson

 

If there are some lessons learned, it would be to reach out for help sooner. So reach out to people that are two steps ahead of you. Go to their seminars, don't judge them, learn from them. They are your best resources. The other advice that I would give is to pay attention to what is causing you friction, or angst, or you don't like it, and try to outsource that to somebody amazing. Spend money before you think you should. And offload the stuff that you don't like to somebody who knows what the hell they're doing.

 

[39:44] The high five habit

 

The high five habits are super simple. I'm on a mission to get everybody to add a high five to their reflection in the mirror every single morning after they brush their teeth. I want you to make it part of your life. It takes less than five seconds. And what's cool about it is that it leverages all kinds of programming that are already in your brain and in your nervous system that you have aimed and used to support and cheer for other people. I'm going to teach you that by adding a high five in the mirror every morning in the bathroom as part of your morning routine, you will turn all of that amazing. Brain and energy power right back at yourself. 

[42:12] Here's what you can expect. Number one, you can expect to experience a boost in your mood, and that's because your brain will give you a drip of dopamine. You can expect to feel a small jolt of energy, and that's because your nervous system recognizes it as a celebratory gesture. And what we know based on research is that if you want to change your life, your habits, your relationship, your health, you want to make more money. Research shows that you will be more successful, more inspired, more motivated, and more fulfilled if you are kind and encouraging to yourself along the way, especially when things are hard.

 

[50:59] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?

 

I promise that you should listen to this lady in the glasses. Give her five seconds. It'll change your life.

Key Quotes

 

[6:59-7:38] “We spend too much of our lives pretending and managing other people's expectations, and wasting time and energy on things that we actually aren't interested in or care about. And I think it's very important for everyone to wake up and realize, at some point, this thing called life is over. And it's important that you not waste it. Pretending to do things, or spending time on things that don't matter to you.”

 

[33:56-34:19] “For me, reading about something isn't how I learn it. For better or for worse, I have to jump into the swimming pool and teach myself to swim. And that's how I've gone about business. It makes for very painful mistakes. But it also makes for really accelerated learning.”

 

[34:26-34:33] “I feel the most alive when I'm learning something new, or when I'm sharing what I've learned with somebody.”

Learn more about Mel Robbins on:

 

Website: https://melrobbins.com/ 

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins 

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/melrobbins 

In this episode, our guest is Daniel Mangena. He is a prolific author, public speaker, coach, and podcast host with a mission to enable anyone to choose an abundant, joyful, and purpose-driven life. Daniel is part of the “Micromillions Program,” which helps individuals get their businesses up running and scaling. His whole goal is to spearhead an evolutionary uplift in universal consciousness. Today, he talks with us about removing fear from our lives and manifesting the reality we want.

[4:44] Why should we listen to you?

I have 21 years of experience that you can bypass. I have a lot of pain that you can sidestep by learning through my experiences vicariously instead of having to do it on your own. By doing so, you might find your abundance activated, your purpose amplified, and the meaning cemented in what you’re going to do from that day forward.

[6:26] How did you become confident in the area that you are working?

I didn’t choose this. It chose me. I was dragged kicking and screaming until the moment came where I shut up long enough to see the light that was available on the other side of my resistance. I realized what God had been trying to set me up into. My first business was meant to help people. That’s what I stepped out to do. That’s the thing that cascaded into me going down an utterly audacious path of ending up in jail and rebuilding my life again. I ended up facing all of these dark shadows.

[8:32] I went through a course of events where the truth I was asked to step into was made available to me. The fears that I had were rendered null and void. I shut up long enough to taste it and be in it. Now, I’m so fulfilled. It doesn’t feel like I’m working. I live life on my terms. 

[9:52] How did you overcome fear?

When I was 17 years old, I wasn’t chasing girls. I was focused on reading and chasing success. Over the years, I’ve come to see that so much of what we fear is based on stories. We told ourselves about something that hadn’t even happened yet. When I define anxiety, the fact is that it hasn’t happened yet. When there’s a series of outcomes which may or may not be true, why are we giving our attention to what we don’t even like? For me, running my thing unemployed was primarily about looking at the story, challenging the truth, and overcoming it.

[11:53] When you’re spiraling, it’s when you are resourced to have an internal thing. So take it to its final thing where you are fearful. If it happens, it happens. But by shining a light and thinking about what you’re thinking about separately from it, you’re no longer emotionally engaged in it. You can become the witness of it and see it dispassionately.

[14:56] Dream with your Eyes open with Dan

We are always in a dream state. Some of that dream state is lucid, and some of it is not. Some of our dreams happen when we’re asleep. When we look at the metaphysical realm that discussions are happening, we’re seeing more and more of these parallels between actively creating your reality. I’m inviting people to have an experience where they have greater dominion over what they’re doing every day that moves from a normal sleeping state into a lucid dreaming state. From that place, we can have a conscious involvement in what we’re creating. We can therefore direct to have more meaning by being more purposeful.

[18:38] How do you get to that point of having internal authority?

I’m not full of it. Everything I say, I know, is real because I’ve lived in it. I’m sharing my experiences. I’m not trying to tell anybody that I’m perfect. I’ve messed up even on the road that I’m in now. Taking the humble hat off is the authenticity of what I’m speaking that comes from the fact that I live what I say. Anything that goes in a book has been tested in my life. Everything that goes out into the general public has been field-tested. When I’m speaking, I’m speaking from not hope or possibility but from something that I’ve seen time and time again.

[21:39] Understanding how to Invest in yourself

Have some experience with the spiritual and the mindset, whether through a religious perspective, spiritual perspective, or even just mindfulness practice. If you have those three components, then we could speak the same language. If we could speak the same language, we could definitely create something different.

[23:08] Manifesting Reality

We’re all manifesting all the time. Physical reality is a manifestation of thought into form. When you close your eyes, there’s nothing there. But if you open your eyes, you just manifest form. Now, there’s nothing special about that everybody’s doing it all the time. But when people use manifestation than the current buzzword framework, that’s what I’m talking about.

[25:34] When we go into the quantum mechanics of how reality operates, all of those possibilities are real and true. For example, the fish can just jump out of the sea and jump in the boat. The likelihood of that is completely predicated on your openness of belief. Without experience, that’s not going to happen. So people are running around chasing after experiences that don’t match their actual belief system. They are not getting anything going down the spiral. They are taking some action from where they are now, opening up their belief system to allow more mystical ways for things to show up.

[27:15] What promise did God make to the world when he heard you needed you?

You are good enough.

 

Key Quotes

[10:38 – 10:43] “Know that much of what we fear is based on stories we told ourselves about something that hasn’t even happened yet.”

[25:11 – 25:26] “The more you come into alignment with the belief, mindset, frequency of ownership of your worthiness, and capacity to have the thing, you’ll find that the “magic” of other forces coming to support the outcome increases.”

 

Connect with Daniel Mangena:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dreamerceo/?originalSubdomain=mx

Website: https://dreamwithdan.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dreamwithdan/

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/dreamerceo

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/dreamerceo

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMdAvGk6xa5fptmdULliJrg 

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3MV88oBiUgplpCTlhDwhIs?si=RrH6v8WPT6Sm36Tde-xUgQ

Life is a finite resource. That is a universal truth, however some of us find it difficult to accept the fact that we shall all face death at some point in our lives. But what if your life is about to come to an end? What are the lasting impressions that people have of you when they think of you? Maya Comerota discusses how to live your legacy in today's world in this episode.

[08:18] Why should we listen to you?

So, I believe the first reason is that I would most likely make you chuckle because anything I'm saying to you is probably just that I like to have a good time and like life in general. As a result, I expect that what I'm doing is a reaction to something happening right now. I enjoy sharing the truth all of the time, the truth of who we are and who we are becoming. As a result, I believe that would be entirely natural. When we hear the truth, I think we pay attention. I've always wanted to let truth flow through me. It's not about knowledge or information; it's about being human, designed to be on this planet. 

[10:30] When you say your truth, what does that mean to you? What are your facts from life lift?

I'll distinguish between speaking the truth and speaking my truth. And what I think a lot of people mean when they say, "Speak your truth," is that there's an energy behind it that's like, "My message and the thing I have to get through." When I say speak the truth, I mean that I want to be a conduit for whatever it is that wants to come through me. We all have filters, but I strive to remove my filter and bias to tap into truth truly. And I believe there is a distinction between a universal truth and what constitutes truth. I think it is free of prejudice and genuinely open to the truth of who we are and why we are the way we are.

[11:44] Through your journey of life, what are the truths, you've come to find that you share?

We have significantly more power than we realize. We're a force of nature like you're a force of nature, and I'm a force of nature, is how I explained it. And we can only be a force of nature if we connect ourselves with natural forces. We learn this via many challenges we face in life, especially when we don't think we have anything else in us. After that, you get through it.

[14:45] I think that everything happens for us, through us, and for us. Yeah. And, as I'm sure you're aware, we frequently judge others for their mistakes or actions when we recognize that these are, in fact, opportunities for us to learn and grow. And, and so much learning occurs during those extremely humbling moments. As far as I'm aware, I am the person I am right now because there were times when I thought, "I don't truly like the person I am right now." I need to alter my behavior.

[15:57] When you can see somebody, Let's say they're not living that truth, what do you do with that? Do you not say anything?

I believe it is situational. However, as many of you are aware, I enjoy discussing the invitation. I welcome individuals to live a bigger, bolder, braver, and more beautiful life, just as I invite diverse experiences. I realized that my role was not to alter them but to welcome them into experiences to discover their transformation. And, I believe, understanding when it is your responsibility to support them and when it is someone else's. And I think that frequently, particularly with the people we love the most, it is not our function; there are attachments to it being us that we may draw into another. Thus, my singular approach is to mark people into experiences and show them things that excite their curiosity.

[18:59] So your company, it's 528 H z Inc. Is that correct?

520 HC is a trademark of hertz Inc. That, my friends, is the frequency. Thus, 528 is the frequency of love. I spent 15 years as a biotech business executive. And when I left my biotech career, which was after I met you, I was no longer this person, this title, and this role that I had held for 15 years. And there was a part of me that understood love was the answer, that if we're all operating from a place of love, which means a lot of different things to me, but if we're all working from that, I titled my firm 520-hertz sync, knowing that no one would understand what it meant.

[20:08] Is that true that there is like a love frequency?

There are a lot of different vibrations and frequencies; for example, bliss is a specific frequency, joy is a certain frequency, and love is a particular frequency.

[22:10] When you come in, you know your company at 528. And you know, the, obviously, the wavelength of love. How does this tie in? And how do you get people to do this? How do you step out there living in it than just opposed to just leaving it? 

I suppose, stems from my personal story: shortly before I quit my corporate position as part of this identity transformation, I had a terrible automobile accident. As the automobiles soar through the air, I hear this, I hear and feel this voice saying, "You have not accomplished what you came here to accomplish." And by that point, I've spent 15 years as a corporate leader, I've established three multibillion-dollar firms, and I've led a team of 300. That is, I had accomplished so much; I had a husband and a son and all of these things, and yet I felt visceral that I had failed to achieve what I came here to accomplish. The level of remorse I felt in that moment in that car made me realize how much I've accomplished in my life. And I have not accomplished what I came here to accomplish. Observing and feeling remorse is perhaps one of the most terrible emotions I've experienced near the end of my life. And I haven't completed what God sent me here to do, as if there was something I was supposed to accomplish. That was my first conversation with God. I said, if I make it out of here, I'll be here now. I will be the woman I meant to be; I don't even know who that is yet. I've got to figure it out. I left my career and then, you know, part of my company, the very foundation of the work that I do with people is if you have hours to live, what do you make? What do you want to make sure you share with the world? Asked this question, I take people through an experience. It's an experiential process of putting them in the moment of just hours, so now what is the message and what's the story of your life that you're like you must that is tied to that message. I help people distill what they genuinely believe, and then once they have their core belief system, they understand the story in this message that they want to share with others. And now it becomes very uncomfortable not to live that message.

[25:44] Do you come up against yourself? Current or like the person in the future?

Both. I mean, you're, you're diving into this, it's this future identity. When they told me that they were going to fold the company, and it was a threat. I don't think it was appropriate, but it was a threat. And I sat with myself to say, who would I need to be not to be defined by somebody else? To not have anybody control that and I created this persona of myself, I'm like, I'm a gazillionaire. And I would want, I'll walk away and say, keep the change. And I created this persona. And I said, within 12 months, I'll walk away, and they can keep it all they can have my life savings, but they cannot have me. The thing that I support people with is harnessing the extraordinary mental faculties that we have because we have cognitive faculties that are very special like we are God's highest form of creation. And we have the opportunities to imagine and Intuit and perceive and reason and have will not willpower and our ability to have memory not only from the past but also from the future.

[29:45] If I want to send people to you, where do I send them?

mayacomerota.com is an excellent location for my website or, as you may know, social media. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook as Maya Comarota.

[30:05] What promise did God make to the world when he created you?

That by reminding myself of who I truly am, I will inspire others to do the same.

 

Key Quotes

[19:27 – 19:28] "There was a part of me that just knew love was the answer."

[24:38 - 24:47] "I help people to distill what is it that you truly believe, and then once they have that, they've got their core belief system."

 

Learn more about Maya Comerota on:

Website: https://mayacomerota.com 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mayacomerota1/ 

 

In this episode, our guest is Martha Krejci, the author of “Home Based Revolution.” She chose to go out into the world and become a billionaire working from home. Martha is a mother with no college education, but she has created fantastic businesses that have a positive impact on people’s lives. She’s appeared on Oprah, Fast Company, Cosmos, Huffington Post, and plenty of other shows. She guides people with her brilliant mind in marketing, building, coaching, sharing, and human social service. Stay tuned! Be ready and listen to why Martha created what she created and how it will connect to you.

[05:24] Why should we listen to you?

I’m talking to you about yourself, your future, and your potential. What are you doing in the world? How do you feel about it? What do you feel like is out there waiting for you that you haven’t tapped into yet? I’m not going to tell you about me. I don’t really care about myself. All I care about is you.

[06:10] The moment of ‘this isn’t for me’

The nine to five was great for me because, at one point, I called it my big girl job. I went to one semester of college, and that’s how I knew college wasn’t for me. Hence, I worked in the restaurant industry for 14 years.

[07:21] I started out at the bottom. And then I moved into management. I worked for GoDaddy for a little over five years, and I moved into management and leadership and was doing great. We had had my daughter in the meantime, and one day, I remember I was sitting at my cubicle.

[08:05] I had my pictures of my family, and my phone buzzed. I saw a video coming through, and it was my daughter on her feet, which had never happened before. I saw my daughter taking her first clumpy, uncertain, but totally jazzed first steps toward Daddy, who’s taking the video. I was mirroring her, but it was the next moment where everything just went crashing down. It blacked out. I just blacked out from the outside, like I was in a movie, and everything just stopped. I heard something that was not right or wrong, but “are you okay with missing this?”

[10:10] I went back to my desk, and I started thinking about my resignation. I was done with this. My family just bought a costly house. So we had a big mortgage. My husband was staying home with our daughter. He hated his job before I brought him home from work, and he stayed home with our girl. His parents had moved in with us.  So I was supporting everyone in the house. I held the insurance on the family and others that everyone went, “God! What am I gonna do without that?” And it’s so minimal after a while, you realize that’s what was keeping you there. 

[13:26] What pushed you to that level? 

It was Mike. It wasn’t him as an individual, but it’s what he did. And I like to call it speaking life. I was a terrible alcoholic, living in a basement post-divorce, had no money, and couldn’t feed myself. I remember him telling me how amazing I was and how capable I was. He would call out the gold in me, and he would get specific about things that I was really good at doing. At first, I don’t believe it. But when somebody is consistent with that, you start to believe it and see it in yourself. That’s where my power came from. That’s where my confidence came from.

[16:16] The secret sauce

I worked at GoDaddy, and I developed at that point. I realized that I had a talent that many people didn’t, and it was SEO or Search Engine Optimization. I started an SEO agency. What I did was I immediately jumped into the Chamber of Commerce and started doing a training on SEO. I quickly realized that I wanted to get people to know that I did SEO. What I realized is I was training people, and then they were like, “Cool, that makes sense. Also, I don’t want to do it. So can I hire you to do it?” I’m like, “That’s great!” I have an agency, and it just made sense. And within the first month, I was already making what I was making before the job. 

[19:01] About the book, the reason a book was written, and who’s the book perfectly fit for?

The book is written for families that are not happy with their current existence and that something can be better. I would say that most people don’t work from home or don’t start these side gigs because they don’t confidently believe that they can actually do it. Don’t search on Google about how to start a home-based business because that is a hot mess. That’s what people get wrapped up in that, and then whenever it doesn’t work for them, they feel like failures. As a result, they feel like they failed their family. There’s a whole thing psychologically that happens there that nobody deserves. And it’s not even their fault.

[22:10] Stability outside of a 9 to 5

First, they have to be open to it. They need to see other people doing it. And that in the book, I have stories of my own students that have brought their husbands home from work after spending 13 years trying to be successful as a home-based business. She is now doing great. So what I teach takes 5 to 10 hours a week. It doesn’t even take that long. So you’ve got all sorts of time outside of that. And so they need to see stories of people that it has worked for. And the moment that they see a story that looks like them, naturally, they should be able to align. 

[23:43] Doing things on your own

Just stop giving them any ammunition to how they feel about it. They’ve told you that they don’t dig it, you still have your free time, when you have your free time. You don’t need to go galivanting in front of them. The thing is, whenever we’re living with people, we want them to embrace what we’re doing and at least support us. However, that’s not always the case. Often, you’ll get the support, but it’s after winning. You have to start winning first. Hence, if they say that they’re not supporting it, you need to break away and find that hour a day or that 30 minutes a day to work towards your goals and find your support elsewhere.

[29:07] Where can people find this book if they want to get it right now?

They could get it at any Barnes and Noble. They can also go to marthasbook.com, which has all of my links.

[29:33] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

All I hear is let my people go. And I aligned with Moses so much. And the promise God said to the world when I was created is you will have the opportunity to be free.

 

Key Quotes

[9:50-10:05] “In our lives, we all have these moments where we miss these things, not right or wrong, but you have to at some point say no. If you’re not okay with it, you have to say no, and you have to start something new.”

[19:39-19:44] “Don’t go searching on Google for how to start a home-based business because that is a hot mess.”

[24:09-24:22] “Whenever we’re living with people, we want them to embrace what we’re doing, and at least support us. But that’s not always the case.”

 

Learn more about Martha Krejci on:

Website: https://withmartha.com/ 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livinthedreamwithmartha 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/themarthakrejci 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themarthakrejci/ 

Welcome back to the Aww Shift Podcast! Today, our guest is Mark Gaunya, the Founding Principal and CEO of Captivated Health. Benefits Pro recognizes him as a Top 5 Broker of the Year Finalist, Benefits Adviser nationally, and one of the top 30 Thought Leaders. Mark developed innovative solutions to complex challenges to save clients time and money. He's passionate about consumerism, health & well-being, and its exponentially positive cultural and financial impact on businesses and organizations. Mark is also the Principal of Borislow Insurance, which serves clients who invest $1m+ in their employee benefits program by developing innovative solutions to complex challenges, saving time and money. Today, Mark talks with us about the healthcare system issues that consumers face today.

[9:21] Why should I listen to you?

The first thing you'll notice is that I'll be paying attention to you because I'm naturally curious about other people and their stories. I'm curious about what makes people tick, what motivates them, what they care about, and what they are passionate about. We'll have a great conversation if we can discover areas of commonality. 

[9:55] What do you do better than other people?

I take complicated stuff and make it simple for people to understand.

[10:37] How can you bring the conversation of healthcare understandable to the ninth-grade level?

Like anything in life, you’ll first have to understand the language. If you are having a conversation while translating one word at a time, it’s nearly impossible to do. That is exactly what nine out of ten individuals in our country are doing with healthcare right now. It was purposefully designed to be overly complicated.

[12:14] If you look at the big rule makers; the government, health insurers, regulatory bodies, they’ve developed this system through an opaque process called “Coding” and “Billing.” A code is created and sent to an insurance company. The produced code or negotiated price is then discussed between the healthcare provider and the health insurance. 

[13:13] How did healthcare become what it is today? 

There’s a lot of money in healthcare. Looking at healthcare as an industry sector, it’s three and a half to four trillion dollars of our economy. In most areas in the country, healthcare is the largest employer.

[13:56] I know many people in all these areas, and they are all great people. But they are in a construct that doesn’t put you and me at the center of it. It puts the people who are making the rules at the center of it. Fortunately, there was a law that was passed. Healthcare is now pricing quality transparency. But the challenging news is how we implement that. The first step is, if you can’t see it, you can’t measure it. If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it. As a healthcare consumer, the first thing you need to understand is the inverse correlation between price and quality.

[16:47] How money is affecting the Healthcare System 

Most individuals are unaware that many of our chronic pharmaceuticals are manufactured in tier one English-speaking countries like Canada, Ireland, the United Kingdom, Australia, South Africa, and New Zealand. By the time they get here, they're seven to eight times more expensive than they should be.

[17:19] An annual supply costs $17,000 in countries where medicine is manufactured. However, when it arrives through the FDA and drugstore chains in the United States, the same medicine costs $69,000 due to the layered fees throughout the system. The costs that consumers do not perceive are added on top of the profit margins.  Financially, you are ultimately assessed by the performance of whatever service you provide, but you are not measured on the value you provide.

[18:48] How does your company help? 

We work directly with employers who sponsor health insurance for their employees. When you look at this country, about 180 million people get their insurance from their employers. We focus on a particular area of the market with between 50 and 500 employees. Those employees or employers typically buy a “fully-insured plan” from a national carrier. They charge their employees a premium that they share for the plan they’re offering. We do something similar, except that it’s not fully insured called “Partial Self-Insurance.” The employer exits the blind market in which they have no idea what is going on with getting charged. They go into an environment where they are willing to accept the risk of covering their people's healthcare costs. They find themselves in a position where they can act as their own insurance business. What we do is act as their intelligence chip on the inside, operating that for them.

[22:23] How did this become something you’re passionate about? 

I started to tackle the problem of our healthcare system because of my mother, who was a nurse, and my father, who was an Orthopedic Sports Medicine Physical Therapist. They taught me the business of healthcare. They weren't only medical professionals. They were also business owners that were incredibly creative. They were entrepreneurial in the sense that they just believed that healthcare could be delivered more effectively. I went to work for my mom and dad when I got to school. I went to their work for a bunch of insurance companies. For the last 17 years, I’ve been on the consulting brokerage side of the business and representing employers and consumers.

 

Key Quotes 

[15:37 – 15:44] “When you provide information and transparency of information, there are a lot of things we see that people don’t want us to see necessarily.”

[17:50 – 18:00] “You are ultimately measured by the performance of whatever service you’re providing. But you’re not being measured on the value you’re providing relative to the price you’re providing.” 

[21:38 – 21:46] “The right call doesn’t necessarily mean the least expensive. The right call means the highest quality care you can receive at the lowest possible price point.”

 

Learn more about Mark Gaunya on: 

Email: [email protected]

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-s-gaunya-gba-lia-186a956/

Website:http://www.captivatedhealth.com/            

http://www.borislow.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/markgaunya

 

Guesting on this episode is Europe's number one self-mastery mentor, mindset trainer, international best-selling author, and award-winning speaker Mahima Lucille Klinge. Mahima was born in Zimbabwe and now lives in Switzerland. She has dedicated her entire adult life to mastering the skill of joyful living in the present moment and sharing what she has learned. Mahima's mindsets training and workshops restore energetic, peaceful, balanced, and optimistic people who are stressed out physically, mentally, and emotionally. Mahima offers a one-of-a-kind approach to discovering your genius and real calling in life using a combination of exclusive tools and techniques. Tune in as Mahima talks about the importance of Meditation and Mindset.

[08:08] Why should I listen to you?

You should pay attention to me because I talk from the heart and personal experience. I try to practice what I preach. I have two and a half decades of unique development material from when people were pursuing master's degrees, PhDs, or other pieces of paper that would help them in life.

[08:48] For many years, I sat in an ashram in India, meditating six hours a day because I had discovered my passion, something that could help me transcend my limited thinking and experience. Something much more beautiful and empowering, which enabled me to create a great deal of beauty in my life.

[11:03] How did you become the person you are today, knowing all the hurdles you had to jump over to get to where you are right now?

I'll begin by telling you about my great-grandmother. She grew up in Africa, where there was no running water or electricity. She never left the area, lived for over 90 years, and died there. My grandfather, on the other hand, desired more for himself. He resolved to walk from Zimbabwe to South Africa, from the heart of Africa to the nature of Africa. Consider the distance he had to travel to obtain what he desired, even if there are dangers, particularly in animals in Africa, which contribute to the deaths of many people.

[12:26] My grandfather was the first member of our family to escape the heart of Africa with running water, and he did it by moving to the suburbs, where he and my grandmother met. My mother, on the other hand, went as far as she could in her schooling. However, she did not attend university, opting instead for high school education. And they began their career as a nurse.

[13:04] Mahima is born into a world where her father disappears, which was rather typical in those days; it wasn't uncommon for a man to vanish and abandon his children, and I've never heard from my father since. As a result, Mahima is only related to her grandmother and mother.

[14:36] Mahima's family was similarly raised as Roman Catholics. She received a Roman Catholic education, including beatings. She had all of these things happen to her at the age of 14, but she managed to break away because she began modeling at a young age. Mahima got noticed in Zimbabwe and started earning money more money than anybody else in her family made. It enabled her to leave home at 16 since she thought the setting was no longer suitable for her.

[15:33] Mahima became aware of the damage caused by years of abuse and trauma when she married at 21. She married the Swiss guy, and he demonstrated how disoriented she was; how far removed she was from loving, respecting, and feeling comfortable in her flesh. She was unaware that she was that untidy until she entered into a relationship. That relationship ended although they lived in a magnificent house with a swimming pool and a jacuzzi - all the things that should indicate that you have a husband, a beautiful home, you have accomplished something, and it will make you happy. None of it brought her happiness. In fact, she was more wretched than she had ever been.

[16:49] How do we get to the point of the Mahima mindset? Where does that all come to start budding and growing into what it is now?

By luck, life brought me to India. I found myself in an Ashram in India; I was not looking for anything. I knew nothing about ashrams or Indian gurus. I had no idea what this entire scene was about. However, a friend saw my state and suggested, "Before you do anything else, go there." This ashram is teeming with incredible people from all over the world. All of whom are thoroughly judging the space. I'm wondering what these individuals are doing here. It is all absurd. The teachers have died and are viewing videos, but they're all crammed in like a thousand people in this enormous hole.

[17:54] As soon as the dead guru began speaking in the video, I stopped feeling that everything the person was saying was directed at me. I have this icy sensation of the hair at the back of my neck sticking up. And I begin to feel as if I agree with everything he says. It's as though he's staring directly at me. And speaking now to me was the oddest thing. However, I had no idea how to meditate. I closed my eyes and immediately felt at ease. I began to feel the expansion. I began to feel myself shifting away from the negativity that had been my typical state of Consciousness and toward the most profound form of consciousness. That is what I refer to as my awakening. Because I was so deeply ensconced in this peaceful realm, the hole was empty when I opened my eyes.

[18:53] All of the thousands of people who had gathered had left, but I remained. Simply put, I was more at ease than I had ever been in my life. I had no idea what had happened. That day marked the start of my stay at the Ashram. As a result, I was lonely. I had no one to talk to. I went back to my hotel room and promptly fell asleep. The first thing I did when I awakened the following day was closing my eyes. I wanted to stay there since it had been such a beautiful moment of peace. I closed my eyes for two hours and meditated. I then went to the Ashram. And I found myself becoming increasingly engrossed in everything going on there.

[19:50] While others struggled with meditation and sitting still, this young 22-year-old could sit for hours simply holding space, exploring my consciousness, exploring what it felt like to feel powerful and peaceful. To let that energy flow through you, dissolving fear, dissolving smallness, dissolving anger, pain, and confusion, all of which dissolve in the face of our true nature, which is our soul essence. That is how it evolved. It was merely a chance, but I took advantage of it. I feel that some of us are given opportunities in life. However, we passed up those opportunities. But I clutched all those opportunities with both freaking hands and surfed that wave until today.

[20:57] How did you start finding the ways to go back to the world that allowed you to become a leader who makes a living, helping other people live better?

After six months at this Ashram with the teacher who died, I felt as if I needed a teacher in his body. I wanted someone with whom I could dig and ask questions, such as what is all this enlightenment nonsense, and so on. I was able to comprehend everything fully.

[21:19] So I went to this other location where the teacher was still alive, with a smaller crowd. When I arrived, the guy stated that I had met the person and that a few minutes later, I was invited to this small room where he would meet with new individuals. And he told me in the first meeting, you're going to offer Satsang, and he laughed because Satsang back then meant these sessions where people would sit and ask him questions, and he would support and help them.

[21:54]When it came to meditation, I found it to be effortless. In that first meeting, he saw something in me that I couldn't have seen or even thought of, so that was the first seed of this concept. I believe because I had a distinct talent. So he planted that seed, and when he died five years later, it was crystal clear to me that it was time to share what I had learned. And I could tell I had learned a lot because I had so much more laughter, joy, and enjoyment in my life, and I could make bold decisions and do new things. I was able to pick up on those messages by going into my head and listening to my heart and following the counsel of my soul.

[23:24] I was invited to Germany, Switzerland, France, Holland, and Italy. All of these different countries just happened to be asking me, and they were organizing the events, and all I had to do was fly and be there, and then they would do it on a donation basis, and then they would give me the money that people donated. That's how I got started. That's when my gift began.

[24:35] What are the things that you're creating that you're excited about that help people?

I'm looking forward to seeing more leaders worldwide who have realized the strength that lies within their hearts. My purpose is to help others feel peaceful, powerful, and joyous in the present moment, regardless of what is going on around them. It's your right as a human being. You were born as that essence, and you will leave as that essence to feel love, be grounded, and feel plentiful.

[25:12] Assisting others in returning to themselves and then urging them to share that message throughout the world through their example. Allowing yourself and doing your passion in life, is a component of that example. So, instead of being, "Look, I'm just going to make money and have my passion over here," how can you make that work? I believe that more people should be earning money doing what they enjoy. But it all starts with performing the inner work to remove the negative thoughts that you can't, that you can't be one of those individuals, that it's just for a select few.

[26:07] I'm interested in inspiring individuals to tap into their actual potential and a powerful mission, which is something they're passionate about, altering, changing, and being a part of a positive global discourse and elevated space that they build in themselves, and then in their communities.

[27:29] My mission is to awaken more people to their potential and power and empower them to share it with the rest of the world. I love the notion of constructing "centers" around the world where people can come together physically in a physical space to heal, transform, enlighten, and play, as well as share ideas and initiatives. So I'd want to adopt the Mahima approach and open up a few locations throughout the world, in nature, and perhaps also in some major cities where people need what we do and meet people personally. Everyone will, indeed, be online, but in my vision, we do online, but then we go on spectacular excursions offline.

Go to https://themahimamindset.com/  to start your 21-day meditation challenge, and to know about the Mahima mindset.

You can also follow  Mahima on her socials:

LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram 

Guesting in for today’s podcast is a Behavioral scientist, consultant, and NY Times Best Selling author specializing in Connection, Trust, Community, and Influence. He is no other than Jon Levy. Jon specializes in applying the latest research to transform the ways companies approach marketing, sales, consumer engagement, and culture. His clients range from Fortune 500 brands, like Microsoft, Google, AB-InBev, and Samsung, to startups. Now, Jon talks about his struggles and discoveries on human traits that allowed him to understand better why personal barriers to human communication exist.

[03:40] Why should I listen to you?

You should listen to me because a random talk will be more entertaining than listening to another crime drama on your podcast. My first book was about the science of adventure and what leads us to live exciting lives, so if you happen to run into me in public, you’ll most likely have a great time.

[04:42] How did you end up doing this endeavor?

I believe an eighth-grade teacher arrived and declared that we were going to redistribute the seating chart in secret, and she let each child submit two people they wanted to sit with and two people they didn’t want to sit with. I noticed one child with whom no one wanted to sit, and it was me. Nobody wanted to mingle with me since I was a nerd. In the 1980s, I was fascinated with computer technology. And it was not a cool thing to do. I reasoned that if I could understand human behavior, I could make some friends. And I wish it had a philanthropic bent to it. However, the truth is that as a child, I was pretty lonely.

[05:54] What kept you from going down that path?

I thought I was one of a kind because I was lonely. Here’s what’s wild, thrilled, and grown-up watching TV episodes like Saved by the Bell, where there’s this core group of friends and the geeky guy in the core group. And I assumed that this was the case for everyone. However, when we examine the research, we notice something else. There’s also this intriguing side that comes up now and then.

[07:11] People are undoubtedly lonelier than we prefer to admit. And especially now, with the pandemic and people were cowering at home and all that. As a result, I believe there is a genuine misunderstanding about how vital we are to one another. Even simply getting to spend time with you makes my day so much better.

[08:11] What can people do to shift this behavior?

I believe there are two factors. The first is that we’ve established a much broader culture of fear. We’ve done things like attribute television shows like America’s Most Wanted throughout the years, making us afraid of our neighbors, especially if they look different from us. As a result, parents grew increasingly protective of their children.

[09:03] Then there’s the fact that humans are anti-fragile. This means that when you train and increase strain on your body, you strengthen your ligaments, improve your body’s strength, and make it more fluidly paired. You also learn how to react more effectively. You can better predict your team’s behavior the more time you spend with them.

[09:27] The issue is that we now treat children as if they are delicate. That you were to drop them, they would break, and that would be the end of it. However, this implies that we keep them safe. As a result, we plan all of their activities for them. They are never required to improve their social skills. As a result, by the time kids enter college, they are unable to advocate for themselves. Professors have been known to get emails from parents stating that their child requires more time on a test.

[10:11] Socialization

We have to go through these awkward moments. We have to learn to say, “Hey, do you want to hang out after school?” Maybe we’ll get rejected if we allow for this kind of social skill deterioration. However, we will never be able to properly function until we learn to improve those skills.

[13:04] Dealing with rejection is a necessary part of selling those cookies. It’s anti-fragile, and it makes them stronger. Not only that, but kids also learn civics. Nowadays, they have badges for technology. It’s fantastic to have a badge like a cybersecurity badge and all that. Another benefit is that it teaches us how to operate as a group or team toward a single objective, which I believe is critical.

[13:44] Without a doubt, these talents are crucial in general and should be acquired as a general thing. Because speaking with others improves every aspect of one’s life and work. We’ve been programmed to believe that people will behave unreasonably. We’ve been conditioned to think that if I say something to you on an aircraft, you’ll throw a tantrum because you’re highly politicized or for whatever reason.

[15:34] Frequency Illusion

The frequency illusion is a cognitive bias in which we believe something is familiar simply because it is conspicuous and it has an emotional component to it. If I ask, “Can you think of three situations when things went wrong on a flight?” It’s all over the news all the time. You are not aware of it because it only happens occasionally. However, you may fly nonstop for the rest of your life and never see it.

[17:02] You’re generally worried when people are waiting for results at doctors’ offices. A study looked into it and discovered that they’re more inclined to start chatting to you because you want to experience a sense of connection, safety, and stability when you’re frightened or afraid of the results.

[18:56] According to the seminar leader, the people we surround ourselves with and the discussions we have with them are the primary factors shaping the quality of our lives. Figure out how to surround yourself with the most admirable and exciting people you can find with who you have a great deal of respect. It took me a long time to figure out what causes behavior at various levels of influence and how to interact and connect with those folks. And I ended up going out to suffer as a result of that. 

[20:15] What can you do to start moving in that direction?

The first thing to understand is that humans do not connect or create trust in how we believe they do. We do almost everything backward around here.

[20:31] Have you ever been invited to a business dinner when you don’t know the individuals and they take you out to eat? It’s an embarrassing scenario, but people do it because they feel trapped. You might have spent some quality time together but it’s an inconvenient thing to do. 

[21:13] You’ll observe that they wanted us to develop trust, but they did it by putting us through these difficult situations. This is because what truly works is the polar opposite. The IKEA effect is what it’s called. According to the IKEA effect, we care more about our IKEA furniture since we have to put it together. We put forth the effort, to put it another way.

[21:33] If we want to build connections with people, our goal should be to figure out how to encourage them to put effort into us. The ideal technique is to start with a tiny request since once they put in a little effort into you, they’ll be eager to put in more effort. Then, once they’ve done that, they’ll be more concerned about us. So, when it comes to human relationships, it’s all about how much work they put into them.

[24:44] Where can we find out more about you and your books?

My book is all over the place—Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and, I believe, even airports. “You’re invited” is the title of the book. It also includes audiobooks, eBooks, and other such items, and my website address is jonlevytlb.com.

Key Quotes:

[09:27 – 09:45] “The problem is that we treat children these days as if they are fragile. That if I drop them, they’ll break. Because of that we keep them safe, have their activities planned by us, etc. But as a result, they will never develop their social skills.”

[18:58 – 19:05] “The fundamental element that defines the quality of our lives are the people we surround ourselves with, and the conversation we have with them.”

 

Go to https://www.jonlevytlb.com/ to know about the science of influence and adventure.

You can also follow Jon on his socials:

Twitter | LinkedIn

In today’s episode, our Aaron Huey, Founder and President of Fire Mountain Residential Treatment Center, and host of the #1 Parenting Podcast Show, Beyond Risk & Back. Aaron is on a mission to help educate struggling parents on their kids. Aaron goes beyond simply educating but through “intervention” by facilitating powerful parenting events as a parent coach. He helps kids and teens who are at risk of drug addiction and provide programs to rehabilitate. Today, Aaron shares his thoughts on parenting and why it’s crucial to be mindful of everything you say and act with your child.

[07:00] Why should we listen to you?

The first thing that will keep you listening is how passionate I sound, and most of it has something to do with my life. After spending nine months living in an RV and traveling all over the United States, I’ve learned that not everything shown in the news is the reality of what we go through. I want to have a conversation with parents on what they are ought to do about parenting. After spending 20 years of coaching parents, running a residential treatment program for adolescents, and spending days interviewing experts about development, addiction, self-harm, suicide, etc. Parents need to make shifts right now because things are not heading in a good direction.

[09:52] What do you think the world turns into if we don’t shift?

Why will the world turn into that in the first place? It’s because by looking at how most parents tell their child by “Just grab your britches and sack it up.” You need to understand that first, they won’t, and second, you can’t blame them. They are not as resilient as we are. What is it about us that made us think about treating our children with fragility? It’s because they’re growing up breakable. It’s not on the kids, but us, parents. We, as parents, don’t have to go through a conversation about how kids in classrooms are dealing with anxiety and triggers that we all like to make fun of as adults. These kids are trying to process traumas in their bodies.

[12:41] “Transparency is the new tough love.”

We should work with our kids in a new paradigm that I call “Transparency is the new tough love.” We don’t start the conversation by putting our fingers on their chest, but by admitting our feelings and thoughts on why we want to put our fingers on their chest. Let your child know what you feel and be transparent about it. We are adults, and as adults, we can be transparent to our kids as they can’t currently do that. Many adults act like fools because they think like one, and there is no gap. But I believe that having a transparent conversation where you utilize emotional intelligence and being genuine about it is the gap.

[20:11] What are the flags you can notice in advance?

The curious thing is that the “flag conversation” always puts the parents in a place where if some series of events happen and they are looking for externalized behaviors, most of them would say, “Oh, that’s a sign because they changed; from A to B.” My philosophy is that parents have to take care of themselves first, their adult relationships second, and their children third. Kids tend to mimic what we did. Hence, we need to take care of ourselves first so that our kids will do the same.

[21:53] Ultimately, when it’s time to sit down and talk with my kid who’s in crisis, I want to be the strongest “nervous system” in the room. It means I have done my work, and I am ready to get together and come up with a plan for the kid and deliver the plan.

[23:14] Parent Perspectives

Honor and support your differences as parents. That’s the reality towards unity when the parents agree with something and come together for the child, but it’s not realistic. What’s realistic is that “If I live in this apartment complex, I got on set of rules. If I move, I go another. And if I signed that contract, I abide by it.” You have to teach your child about that because there’s a separation between protecting your children FROM the world and preparing them FOR the world.

[29:56] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

I am God’s caffeine buzz. When you and I have a moment of intimate communication, we connect to acknowledge who we are and what we have done as a culture in this country. We achieve freedom through honest communication.

Key Quotes:

[11:55 – 11:59] “You can’t toughen up trauma. You can bury it and burn from it.”

[23:43 – 23:49] “There’s a separation between protecting your children FROM the world and preparing them FOR the world.”

 

Find Out if Your Child is in the Red, Yellow, or Green by taking the Quiz at: https://brabapp.com/

 

Connect with Aaron Huey on:

Website: https://firemountainprograms.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/firemountainprograms/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/aaronhuey_

Listen to the #1 Parenting Podcast, Beyond Risk & Back on: https://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/our-shows/beyond-risk-and-back/