Aww Shift

In today’s episode of the podcast, we have invited Joey Dumont. He spent 20 years in the media business running ad agencies. He took time off to write a memoir and is now doing a podcast about many complex topics.

[6:00] Why should I listen to you?

I would either go “listen to me personally” or “listen to what I have to say. I started a podcast for that exact reason”. Our society today is so absurd that you either laugh at what you see or you cry. And I choose to laugh my cry out. So I started a podcast, have complex conversations with folks, specific subject matter experts. I admit what I don't know. I try to understand what I don't know through lots of research, lots of homework, and then I bring people into my life that can help me better understand the complexity of both sides.

[8:03] Where did the idea come from?

It stemmed from the fact that I am pretty political. I grew up in a rural area, Santa Rosa, California, and many of my friends are conservatives and Trumpers even. My family is also conservative. I grew up that way. But because I spent 20 years in the media industry in New York, in San Francisco, most of my colleagues are liberal. And so, I’ve always been in the middle space. What led me to want to do this was to cast aside the misinformation, disinformation, and abuse.

[10:28] What’s the plan with it all?

It's not constricted to anything, it's about things that I think are topical, that are important in our culture, and then how that permeates into the decisions, we're making and our beliefs.

[13:54] What are some things that you bring forth as any of that trickle in?

Four of my five clients are female. And a lot of it has to do with assertiveness training. In the media world, much like many other areas in the business world, there's a lot of white men in charge. And so the good news on that front is that there's a lot of female executives moving into the top ranks within advertising, but just not enough. And so part of it for me is how do my clients navigate that landscape? And what's the best thing we can do to talk to them about not necessarily being aggressive but understanding how to negotiate more like a guy.

[17:47] Where do you see yourself with what you do with these people?

I'm not going to go back and run another ad agency as much as I loved it. It's a 100% focus, and it’s 60 plus hours a week. It's lots of travel, lots of stress. I'm going to consult on the side. And I'm going to do some speaking next year again when it comes back on. And that's really where my career now is - talking about leadership at media conferences, helping my media executives, and then my passion project – my podcast.

[20:18] Upcoming episodes

I will be having an episode with the lieutenant of my city, where I went to high school in Santa Rosa. We had dinner together a month ago, and I told him what I was doing. I said, “you know, dude, there's so much information misinformation on police.” And so we will be talking about the militarization of the police, the actual training, the de-escalation, training, all of the pieces and parts statistically around his actual department. I also met a young man online who was a member of the DNC in Sacramento, and he just got his master’s degree in Public Policy. And I'm bringing him on to talk about what he believes is the future of our democracy, what progressive means to him versus what it meant to me. I have another episode that I will be taking with my former professor from Notre Dame to talk about Cognitive Immunity.

[32:11] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

I would help others understand themselves a little better.

 

Key Quote:

[16:14 – 16:19] “To be a good executive conscientiousness, and order is two very big pieces to success.”

 Know more about Joey Dumont on:

Podcast: Laugh your Cry Out by Joey Dumont

Book:https://www.amazon.com/Joey-Somebody-Times-Recovering-Douchebag/dp/1736878417/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=The+Life+and+Times+recovering+douchebag&qid=1630396791&sr=8-1

Website: joeydumont.com

In today’s episode, we have invited Lynn Thomas, a tax attorney and consultant who will teach how to take care of your employees and clients. If you want to know more about this and how to do it, you’re in for a treat! 

[2:23] Why should I listen to you?

I will inspire you to dig deeper into yourself and you’ve ever had to find answers. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable because that’s how we grow. And through that process, we all have massive potential inside of us.

[4:46] Running across this problem in public

I think it’s a gift. I’ve learned to ask for what I want thoughtfully and point out to them, possibly, if they’re open to it, an opportunity they missed, where they could have wowed and delighted me.

[6:10] Do companies come in, or do you find these people?

No, they come to me. Companies usually have no idea if they have a customer retention problem or client retention and employee retention problem. Also, their employees have plateaued, and they’re not getting new and top 20% of clients to generate 80% of the revenue. And those are the clients you want to replicate and duplicate.

[9:29] How did you get this?

Be clear, firm, and pleasant. People can be aggressive or passive. And nobody likes either of those. But it’s really the middle of being assertive when I can be fully me.

[10:36] I was a tax attorney and was recruited to be a change agent for part of the bank going through change. There were 1800 people in this division, and one person died, and one had a disability. And so, I told them, “We don’t know how to deal with stress.” I decided to go out and find a company to bring in to give us the solution. And then, the head of the division said “No!” So, I resigned the next day. And I told myself that there’s got to be a way where everybody can win.

[12:39] Who usually takes control of the reins?

Someone from my company or me. We realized that we need to be involved in the process.

[15:10] The uncomfortable things that companies need to do right now

Have a growth mindset and be willing enough to grow, and your people need to as well. If someone is resistant and not willing to take these things, they’re probably not part of your company’s future. When a problem arises, come up with at least 20 solutions, weigh them all and think about them thoroughly. Use your subconscious and conscious mind.

[18:58] What’s the expansion point?

There’s a study going way back to the 1990s in Harvard Business Review that for every 5% increase in a client retention rate, your profits within two to three years ago raises 25 to 95%. You have to look at not just your regular clients but also your top clients. If you do your top clients, you’ll be 200 to 300%. Because they bring in 80% of your revenue. Start with empathy, and exponentially increasing on that. 

[22:11] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

He promised me every pain he gave me. I would get 10 times more joy. And it’d be through helping others create what they didn’t think they could make be or could be. Discover what they think they could discover inside themselves, the world, and others.

Key Quotes:

[10:12 – 10:14] “When anybody plays small, we all lose.”

[10:20 – 10:30] “Being big to me doesn’t mean take it over or running over people at all. It’s fully asserting and speaking up when it’s appropriate for me in a situation to do that.”

Learn more about Lynn Thomas:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynnthomasjd/

Website: https://www.thomasconsultingwins.com/

 

 

In today’s episode, our guests are John Lee Cronin and Mark X. Cronin, father and son and Founder of John’s Crazy Socks. John’s Crazy Socks is a father-son venture inspired by Co-Founder John Lee Cronin, a young man with Down syndrome. They have a social mission and a retail mission, and they are indivisible. Every day, they demonstrate what people with differing abilities can do. And today, they are going to share with us they started their business and giving awareness about down syndrome

[6:34] Why should we listen to you?

How to be told knucklehead towards selling socks. I tried to change the world. It’s our particular story. We can tell you how out of and about awareness to Down syndrome. And you got to hear how he took what could have been a problem and turned it into an opportunity.

[7:10] Story about Down Syndrome

When John was born, his parents didn’t know he would be born with Down syndrome. Before he was three months old, he needed open-heart surgery. He needed what was tantamount to intestinal bypass surgery and acquired a Catholic priest to baptize him yet because we did not know if he would survive the operation. It’s like an old-fashioned Chinese menu, except you don’t get to pick and choose.

[9:00] The Kennedy Foundation now wants to work with startups and entrepreneurs that are innovating in the field of intellectual and developmental disabilities. Our 30% of people born with Down syndrome, born with significant heart defects. We did not know if he would survive the operation. What chance that a baby born with those medical issues have? And the answer is he could grow up to change the world.

[11:40] What John’s really good at

Everybody you meet has some particular strength and ability. Everybody has some beauty. You have to see through. So I’ll give you a couple of concrete examples where it’s Friday. We were up on Cape Cod. At least three companies were presenting, and John blew everybody away. He’s a great speaker who speaks from his heart. 

[13:54] The county executive out here came in for a visit. He wanted to know what our business was about how he could help us. And when he finished, he said, I want to give you a proclamation. And he had from McAfee, and he had his photographer there. And the county executive read the proclamation and handed it to John.

[16:34] Starting the business

We screwed up all three equally, but this particular thing started back in the fall of 2016, and where we knew I enter as I haven’t had to give up my last year. Throughout the United States, if you have a differing ability, you’re identified as having a disability. You can stay in the public school system until you turn 21, but they say, “Get out.” Like everybody else, John tried to figure out what he will do when he’s done with school? And what were you looking at?

[20:16] Mark figured if he loved the socks that much, indeed other people did too. And we can find our tribe. We’re bootstrapping. So you got to make do with what you had. The only marketing we did was to set up a Facebook page.

[27:58] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

Appreciate what you have, and you learn more about what we do for others, the better off we are.

 

Key Quotes

[11:42-11:47] “Focus on what people can do. Not what they can’t do.”

[22:43-22:51] “What’s our mission stay having this spread and happen. Everything we do is designed to spread happiness.”

Learn more about John Lee Cronin and Mark X. Cronin on:

Website: https://johnscrazysocks.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnscrazysocks

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnscrazysocks/

 

In today’s episode, our guests are Niki Shadrow and John David Snyder, Los Angeles entrepreneurs and the creators of Project Pop Drop, which sells private-label ink and toner cartridges. Over several years, they have partnered with their customers, local schools, and other businesses to spread Project Pop Drop across Southern California, Florida, and other states. Today, they will talk about the art of giving back to society and being a “Givefluencer.”

 

[6:25] Why should we listen to you?

We have about ten years of experience in dealing with the issues of homelessness. We started in Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles, the center of homelessness in America. We’ve empowered thousands of people, and we’ve got students on board with the LA Unified School District doing donation drives with us. We’re bringing businesses with us to make them step up to the giving plate as we have.

 

[9:13] Start-up of Company

When David and I met, we talked about pitching my customers in the office and that I didn’t feel comfortable doing it. And that I’m evolving in a business that has not evolved in any way. Self-improvement is a huge business is an essential household product that everybody needs, and I’m doing something different.

[12:10] I’m proud to say it’s been over a decade of giving back together and not only as a cop on a married couple but as parents too. At the beginning of this podcast, so far, you feel like you’re looking at twins. It’s not about bragging and saying how great you are for what you’re doing. It’s about getting people empowered and excited to come along with you to do the work. And without a little shameless self-promotion, you won’t get or build a movement.

 

[15:43] The Givefluencers

Somebody needs to step up and do something about what’s going on right now. We created the word “givefluencer” and a community for “givefluencers” called, The “Givefluencer Network.” A “givefluencer” influences the world by giving back to society to truly function better. I saw how things have transitioned from actual celebrities, tastemakers, and amazing talent to anybody in anything, just becoming famous overnight on social media. Being a great storyteller still matters.

[17:51] We are influencing thousands of people a year to get back. We’re influencing people to do the way we set up our business and our program. What gives you answers are their people who understand that that’s how we will make it. It’s called giving and influencing simultaneously, which is what the world needs right now.

 

[21:41] Art of Influencing

A good flow answer is obtainable and generalized enough that anybody is capable and could be a good influencer. So we like the word “influencer” just because it doesn’t limit anyone to do the work. Our social responsibility system within our company is that we are giving back on the last Saturday of every month. And that’s what we call Pop Drop events. It could just be walking around and putting out good energy, but choose that one day a month with the social responsibility system to be a good influencer.

 

 [25:43] How to reach out

We’re slowly but surely building our Instagram, And we have a book coming out, which we’re excited about. Though it’s not yet ready to promote, I’m just giving it a shout-out because we’re excited about it soon. We’ll also have a course to help empower people to do this.

 

[27:30] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

We’re going to pair these two up to change the world and change the way people do business and create difference or marketing at the very right time in life and the world upside down a little bit.

[27:50] What God wants for all of us is to learn it, live it, and give it. Learn what you can, live what you can, and give what you can.

 

Key Quotes

[16:02-16:08] “For society to truly function better, we need to start taking care of each other much better.”

[18:12-18:32]“Giving and influencing at the same time, which is what the world needs right now. We need to influence each other by what we can give back to one another.”

 

Learn more about Niki Shadrow and John David Snyder on:

Website: http://www.projectpopdrop.org/

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/laprojectpopdrop/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/projectpopdrop

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/PLATINUMOFFICELLC

 

In today’s episode, we have invited Dr. Sonja Stribling. She was a high-ranking military officer for 21 years. She's currently on tour, doing some interesting stuff. But the most important aspect is that she appears to have a large heart, serves, and plays big, but she also doesn't have a very professional level. Dr. Sonja works with women who want to start a business from their kitchen table because, nowadays, everyone is at their kitchen table doing either work or eating, and they are doing a lot more of it than they should with a pandemic.

[6:41] Why should we listen to you?

It'd be more why should we have a conversation with each other because we're in the same place at the same time, more than likely thinking about our future and what it is that we want to do with our lives or more. 

 it'd be more Why should we have a conversation with each other because we're in the same place at the same time, more than likely thinking about our future and what it is that we want to do with our lives or more. So like you're doing now helping other people get to their next level? 

[7:52] Military

I went into the military because I had a son to take care of. And I had my first child at 15 years old. I'm the youngest of 12 kids and I do not want to stay in Arkansas because I just didn't want to just be there. I knew that there was more you know, and when I joined it was like, I gotta get out of here. But I always knew I wanted to join.

[8:30] Thank goodness for my mom, she took care of my son while I was in college. When I finished my four years I didn't graduate because I didn't know back then I needed two more or three more credits to graduate. So I joined the military listed later, went on to Officer Candidate School after I finished my degree. When I joined it was something that I wanted to do. And I had an idea I would stay 20 years but I didn't have an idea of the accomplishments that I would get while I was on active duty.

[9:38] What made you stay for 21 years?

Being a woman, and then being a woman of color, amongst the boys it was challenging at times, but again, I had a family to take care of. It was more about the benefits that I was getting, and I was able to travel the world. And we were building a family together and all of those things. I knew I did not want to go back to Arkansas. And so I decided to stay. I went through the ranks very quickly. They just took out what was already on the inside of me and helped me get to the next level.

[12:11] Going into business

The government tells us or a military, get a government job, get a second retirement, go work for the post office, and all that. I've always felt like I was an entrepreneur even when I was on active duty. I open my own restaurant, started real estate to start buying properties. So I felt that entrepreneurial pool on me. But I didn't really know what it was like because I couldn't do it full time. And so when I retired, I said I'm not going to go get a job. I'm going to start my own business full-time. I finished my Ph.D. and became a counselor.

[13:38] Before I went into business helping other women build their businesses, I was helping women through the process of divorce.

[15:24] The transition took place because I didn't really think of it as a business. I thought of as I'm just going to help women. 

[17:15] What’s the tour about?

It's not just about business, it is more about how do you manifest more of what you want in your life. You're manifesting, but are you manifesting the things that you want. So I decided to do this on my power and really shape and think or help women think about what it is that they want and how to go after it. People want it. They have great intentions. But most of them are not action takers.

[18:48] Ideal person to work with

It's really that high achieving woman or wants to be a high achieving woman that is at a place where she wants more. She wants more in life, she wants more in her business, she wants better relationships. But it's not about relationships. It's about again, manifesting what it is that you want, and really understanding what power that you hold within. 

[23:22] Fast forward to three years

I am literally at this point have a more another onto my business for real estate for my three children. Just having something more of a legacy for my boys is one. The other thing I am probably relaxing even more and allowing money to make my money to make money for me.

[28:48] What promise did God make to the world when He created you? 

That I would give you someone who was passionate about the gift that I gave her and it's more about how she helps someone else than it is about her getting to where she wants to go and even more so as she goes on this journey of where I'm taking her she's going to take even more people and women with her.

Key Quotes:

[11:15-11:29] “When I went to the military, I had experienced some things that most 22-year-olds hadn't experienced at that time. So for me, it was my pathway out not saying it's the only pathway. But for me, it helped me and allowed me to do some things I probably would have done if I would have stayed home.”

[17:51-17:59] “A lot of people in business yourself want it. They have great intentions. But most of them are not action takers.”

Learn more about Dr. Sonja Stribling at:

Website: https://drsonja.com/

In today’s episode, our guest is Justin Roethlingshoefer, Co-Founder of Own It. We’re going to talk about creating outcomes and information of what you do with the current output of great technology. Justin will share some tools you can use to better your life. He’s been to high levels of work with high-level people. Now, he’s playing for his own self and takes care of his own by taking care of other high-level C.E.O.s, corporations, and their bodies. 

[7:56] Why should we listen to you?

If you were to come to sit next to me, that would be the reason because I would invest the time, I would invest energy, and honestly care for you as a person. Not just as a human being but as an authentic person. I want to make a difference between being seen as a human being and being seen as a person. We are all human beings. But the person’s core essence has to do with their soul, interests, passions, and genuinely understanding what that is. And that’s where that true bond and connection can come from.

[10:45] Before having one of the bigger shifts of his life

I was always the guy waiting for that next shoe to drop. My entire career coming up, it was having to transfer schools in college, getting cut or traded from my junior teams. It was constantly having to prove myself. 

[11:30] It was something that continued to drive me, motivate me. A part of what drove me out of the game was that continual feeling of being on edge, needing to prove myself differently, and continue to go and almost be like a marionette. Being controlled by somebody else left me feeling a massive amount of anxiety day in and day out, no matter what I was doing. 

[12:07] It was spectacular when I was training and playing at the facility. It was amazing. I loved stepping into the arena and hearing the noisy crowd and the camaraderie of the players. But that is a moment, and the moment the buzzer sounds, everybody leaves, and then you’re left in the locker room again.

[13:59] Realizations and Acceptance

I kind of had that moment twice. Once when I made the step from a player to a coach. And the next from when I made the entire exit from the N.H.L. to full-time entrepreneur life.

[15:40] I found myself in many areas that I needed to develop. I found many areas of weakness that I could just brush over before because I was in a place of comfort. I was in a place of familiarity that I was able to thrive.

[17:13]  One of the big things that I always did when I was on the road was a very entrepreneurial mind. I’m engaged in connecting with people. I need people to thrive. 

[19:08] My mentors today are the people I continue to seek out and have relationships with and are involved in different business entities. It opened my eyes to this whole new generation of people or this unique area in the health and wellness space that is completely being ignored. This application side to information of how do we truly enhance ourselves. There’s more data and information than ever before in every aspect of our lives. But the application is missing. At that moment, I started to realize there was a new way to do this outside of just the 25 guys that I was enthralled within that N.H.L. team.

[21:13] Building a Big Company

We ultimately built it to whereas most companies end up. Time becomes your biggest bottleneck. We ended up hiring a company to make us an application that generated A.I. took a lot of like my brain and put it together to help impact other people. A month ago, they came to us, and they said, “Hey, we love what you’re doing. We love what we’re building for you. We would like to actually buy you.”

[22:32] It took a lot of conversing with my mentors in self-work and alignment work. My coaches helped get me to the point of scaling to something larger than myself that will have a significant impact. And so, what we did was we sold the tech side to this company and have created our own tech, which we’ve now partnered with two of the biggest wearable tech companies in the world.

[25:35] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

That there would be no stone left unturned. And I say that because He built in me a relentlessness that sometimes frightens me to the uphill battles. I often think about standing before Him when everything is done and saying, “Hey, Justin, what did you do with the gifts that I’ve given you?” I want to exhaust everything and wring out everything that he’s placed in me. The biggest one is that there will never be a stone that I do not turn over to figure out where I can make an impact for Him and utilize the gifts that He’s so graciously blessed me with.

 

Key Quotes:

[17:28-17:30] “I need people to thrive.”

[19:49-19:54] “There’s more data and information than ever before in every aspect of our lives. But the application is missing.”

 

Learn more about Justin Roethlingshoefer:

Website: https://justownit.co/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justinroeth/?hl=en 

In today’s episode, we have invited Mr. Joel Staley, the founder of The Seven Figure Father Academy, and Dads who Lift. The Seven Figure Father serves as a networking group for fathers looking to level up their online businesses and take care of their bodies at the same time. He is going to be talking about all this stuff in this podcast today.

[1:29] Why should I listen to you?

If you are trying to figure out how to get in the best shape of your life without giving up your favorite food or leveling up your business to seven figures, I’m your guy. Not only have I done it, but I’ve also helped hundreds of guys do it too!

[2:27] How did you get into this?

I started fitness competitions like Men’s Physique Shows, and I noticed that I would be 2530 pounds overweight. So, I would go on this 12-week diet of oatmeal for breakfast, egg whites, protein bad, chicken and vegetables, ground turkey, and no alcohol.

[4:44] What is the issue with maintaining weight?

I think the issue is just over-restricting, and everyone’s go-to is they’re going to eat whatever they want, do little to no workouts, but when your motivation gets triggered, you go back to zero. 

[6:07] How do we get them to find normalcy in that “bubble?”

It’s a culmination of things and what you put into your body. Now when talking about sustainability, here’s your meal plan, just eat clean for the next 12 weeks, and so, we came up with a customized plan for each individual, a fasting plan that works around their work schedule.

[10:35] Facebook Group

Our Facebook group is helpful for fathers who do not have anyone to ask something from. Sometimes, you can’t talk to your dogs, babies, and even your wife about it. And of course, just like last year’s scenario that we got stuck by our houses, you really need an outlet. So, if you have questions about sex or if you’re worried about your wife cheating, you will have strangers that will give you unbiased answers.

[13:40] For people who are rocking and rolling but wants the next piece

I have put together a five-day challenge that walks people through a bit of taste of what we have going on in our 12-week program. I work with much fewer clients on a much more personal basis. It allows me and my team to do what we ought to do.

[15:57] What are the things you’re trying to grow into right now?

It’s hard to shake the way people look at you, and I’ve been the fitness guy for half a decade now. But now, I built my online business to seven figures.

[21:11] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

I would say he made the promise that I’m going to show up and try to leave the world a better place than I came into it. And that’s all about I’m trying to help guys get in the best shape of their life.

 

Key Quotes:

[12:48 – 12:55] “There are two things you got to do to change your life; process and people.”

[21:27 – 21:30] “Fitness is just such a staple to everything.”

 

Learn more about Joel Staley on:

Facebook groups: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Dads.Who.Lift

https://www.facebook.com/groups/7figurefathers

In today’s episode, we have invited Korey Shaffer, the founder of Til Valhalla Project. He is a retired military member and proceeded to work with people who’s got fallen heroes that want to memorialize them and find a way to serve them. He has given thousands of dollars as donations and is now running a multi-million-dollar company.

[5:10] Why should we listen to you?

I have the ability to put myself in most people’s shoes. I grew up as somebody who was picked on as a kid, who always struggled with his weight, as someone who always struggled with some form of depression, and who grew up in the projects in Providence, Rhode Island. People listen to me because they have seen me by the bed, and they might have noticed the same path that I was on.

[8:06] Have you had an experience of people who talk crap about you?

I don’t think so, honestly. It could just be because of the nature of what I do. I don’t give anybody a reason not to.

[10:03] Taking us through that process

I’ve always wanted to stay in the military, so I became very passionate about being in the infantry. I was able to deploy and move forward and toughen it out. But the healing process overseas was challenging for me. So, I experienced a lot of pain. When I got back, and they did their analysis on me, I was told that I needed to go and put an end to my 20-year vision in this career. It tore me apart. I became a pretty heavy alcoholic, and I just went downhill. I became pretty suicidal. I talked to my wife about making a plaque in memory of one of my buddies. I didn’t know his family, but I’ve reached out to my unit. And so, they helped me reach out to the family and handed them the plaque. From then on, that’s what I would do. I’d go home, work my minimum wage job, and I’d come home and would sit there and make plaques, and people will be helping me out. I became the free plaque guy. But, at one point, I needed a way to keep this going, so I decided to charge my service and give something of value.

[19:47] When did Til Valhalla Project started?

I coined the name in 2017 and didn’t open doors for business until mid-2018.

[21:06] What’s happening in Afghanistan?

Afghanistan, in a nutshell, is you push forward, establish dominance in the area, and try to move on to the next area. So, this way, you can have this clear area of Afghanistan given back to the people. 

[28:47] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

I think he probably gifted me with the ability to be blissfully ignorant of things that are apparent problems and obstacles. So I guess the promise to be persistent for the greater good.

Key Quote:

[20:39 – 20:42] “It’s about shifting identities. It’s the whole concept of the business we have.”

Learn more about Korey Shaffer on:

Website: https://tilvalhallaproject.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TilValhallaProject/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/til_valhalla_project/?hl=en

Twitter: https://twitter.com/tilvalhallaproj?lang=en

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/til-valhalla-project/

In today's episode, our guest is Rebecca Zung, author, a narcissism negotiation expert, a popular YouTuber with more than 100,000 subscribers in 10 months, and one of the best divorce attorneys in the United States. She is known for dealing with the realm of helping people deal with divorces with narcissists.

[5:51] Why should we listen to you?

The first thing I would say is to tell me about you because I'm curious about people. I love listening to people. But if you want to know anything about negotiating at a highly professional level, especially with complex and toxic people, I certainly know how to do it.

[8:09] What is Narcissist?

A narcissist is a person who has no inner sense of value. So they have to derive all of their value from the external through either adulation or entitlement. They degrade people, control people, and cannot have any sense of genuine care or empathy for others because they're wrapped up and surviving.

[9:36] They are undoubtedly aware that they don't feel good about themselves. I think that they're aware that they feel like the world is not a good place.

[11:12] Determining a Narcissist.

Most people don't understand that they're dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists are master manipulators, especially covert narcissists. They seem like the most wonderful, kind, friendly people on the planet to the rest of the world. They only reserve their heinous selves for the people that they're targeting.

[12:26] People need to understand the difference between confidence, giving you the reasons why you should listen to me at all, and having no sense of care for others. There's not as black and white. This person is a narcissist. People that have narcissistic traits or tendencies, and maybe they're just jackass.

[14:51] Diagnosis people with Narcissism

There are seven things that psychologists or psychiatrists look at to determine if this person is a narcissist. Most narcissists don't end up sitting on the sofa of a psychologist or a psychiatrist. So, it's kind of hard to know.

[19:09] Have you ever seen people who happened to be narcissists?

It's widespread for covert narcissists to be put themselves in those positions because they want to be in trust positions of fact. And it's one of the iterations for sure.

[20:08] Narcissists want admiration, money, prestige, compliments, respect. If they're not going to get that from you, then they'll get supply from you by intimidating you, controlling you, jerking you around, degrading you, debasing you. There's going to be a hierarchy of supply levels for them, which prevents you, and that's the way to get attention and control them.

[23:46] Courses and Books

You create a strategy, diagnose the situation, create your guiding principle, which is your vision, and then you create an action plan. And then you have to figure out what leverage it is that you're going to use and when and how it's going to be presented. You know where the negotiations are going to occur and how to build a rapport and read body language.

[26:09] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

I believe that we're here to serve. Let my thoughts be your thoughts. Let my words be your words. Show me the way.

Key Quotes

[13:25 -13:28] “All people want to feel, seen, and heard, and then know that they matter.”

[21:13 -21:15] “You give something to get something.”

Connect with Rebecca Zung:

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-zung-6753893b

Website: https://www.rebeccazung.com/

 

Welcome to the Aww Shift Podcast. Our guest in this episode is Jeff Heggie. He is an entrepreneur and success coach with a passion for helping others achieve their biggest dreams. As a coach, Jeff starts with a focus on mindset. Taking his client or their business to the next level always begins with the right mindset. He enjoys using his extensive experience in the banking industry, over 20 years as an entrepreneur, and his training and experience as a coach to help his clients break through the mental and physical barriers holding them back. Today, he will talk about the relationship between life and athletics and how mental health is a big part of being successful.

[1:05] Where is home for you?

Home has always been Southern Alberta up in Canada. About five years ago, we moved to Arizona, so I’m in Gilbert, Arizona now.

[1:34] Why should I listen to you?

I want to help. That’s one of the things I’ve learned from my coaches growing up. When you’re looking out for others and looking for ways to help others, it comes back to you. And I think that’s one of the things that I like to do. That’s one of the reasons I’ve liked coaching basketball for the last 20 years is because I like helping young athletes develop into something nice. 

[2:18] How did you get into the realm of athletes?

Since I was as young as I can remember, I just wanted to be like my big brother. Whatever sport he played, I played. Basketball ended up being his sport, and he was great at it. And so, I wanted to be great at basketball. And so, growing up, that was my sport.

[3:29]

I ended up going through the ranks and ended up being a professional wrestler for several years. After high school, I got into actually helping my brother coach and then grew from there and moved to another community. I ended up coaching his rival team. And it’s just been something I’ve had the pleasure of continuing with. I had the opportunity to coach my daughter from a young age up to her senior year a few years ago. 

[4:00] Did you have a battle with Confidence in Athletics?

I wish I knew then what I knew now. I remember that when I rodeoed, visualization was a big thing to me. I would go through all the processes, and I do all the things that I knew how to do at the time. And even as a coach, I’ve used visualization and goal setting and all those different things. But I didn’t know how to do it. In that process, I’ve started to work a lot on mindset and to work on the different mindsets and helping entrepreneurs that way.

[5:16]

All athletes put so much effort into the physical aspect of their sport. And they don’t spend enough time on the mental game. And that’s when I started to look more and thought that this is valuable. 

[6:11] How do you build confidence?

A lot of it’s done ahead of time. It’s in the proper preparation and execution. It’s everything from your self-talk, your body language, all of those things. But really, it’s preparing yourself. Many people look at the confidence aspect as something that they got confidence in one day and don’t have it the other day. Your confidence is there. Your play might go up and down, but the confidence shouldn’t change. 

[7:45] Lifting Weights and Building Confidence

Lifting weights makes you stronger. Once you’re strong, you don’t quit lifting weights. Confidence is the same thing. You’ve got to continue to work on it. You’ve got to continue to build it. I think it continues to grow as you continue to focus on it and build it.

[8:20] Where do you enter with Younger Athletes with this kind of work?

In my Confident Athlete Program, the kids go through a course on their own. But every Monday night, we have a group call. And in that group call, I’ve got everything from kids in middle school to Division 1 athletes. There are different conversations when I’m having those one-on-one conversations. But overall, I think it’s great to have all these kids combined. 

[10:15] Dealing with Mental Health issues 

My daughter struggled with some mental health issues. As a coach, I didn’t know how to deal with that because I had never dealt with it. I always sucked it up and got in line. I think many older coaches don’t appreciate it and don’t understand a lot of those things.

[10:35]

It’s the same thing when you’re looking at an open mindset or closed mindset. People with a closed mindset have a hard time getting to an open mindset because they already think we have it. They don’t know that they’re in a closed mindset. And so a lot of it is educating them on that. Many older coaches don’t want to be educated on, they’ve got their ways, and they work. 

[11:20] Where do you find the best place for your work to go?

Most of the athletes in my program are either football or basketball players. But I have soccer players, baseball players, and I have a young kid that’s just joined who is a motocross champion. It goes across all sports because these are life lessons too. Every sport has a mental game into it. It’s all about understanding how to deal with that. 

[12:35]

I don’t think it’s necessarily better for boys better for girls. I think it’s equal. It’s not talking about feelings and stuff. But there’s sometimes the guys will think, “No, I don’t need this.” But it is a valuable asset to add to your arsenal. 

[14:02] Doing hard Things

I’ve got a module in the course where we talk about mental health. But I’ve also got a module in the course that we talked about doing hard things. You’ve got to do hard things. You can’t do these hard things as a mental health thing. You deal with it. But on the other hand, mental health is a serious issue that you need to understand.

[14:25]

To become the best that you can do, you’ve got to be able to overcome those hard things. That’s one of the things I’ve always taught with my teams, whether it’s conditioning or whatever you’re doing when you can overcome those hard things. 

[15:03] What is the Future of your Work?

The more people that can impact, the better it is. And the more athletes that I can say that I touched their lives and helped become a better athletes, that’s what my desire is. Whether it’s working with them one on one or working with them in their team aspect, that’s what I’m loving. A great way to do that is I’ve been able to start working with people to spread it more through affiliates and different people that will work with me because I can’t get all over the nation by myself. 

[16:31] What do you think is the biggest roadblock you got to face?

I think a lot of it is buying into it. Looking at the athletes in it right now, it’s the ones that are serious about what they’re doing, and they want a future in what they’re doing. One of the roadblocks right now is athletes who think they don’t need a mindset or don’t need to have a mental game. They don’t want to spend time looking at these kinds of things. 

[20:12] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

I was going to leave it better than I came in.

Key Quotes:

[5:57 – 6:00] “Some of the best athletes in the world have coaches that are working with their minds.”

[6:59 – 7:02] “Your play might go up and down, but the confidence shouldn’t change.”

[9:12 – 9:15] “Athletics is just a reflection on life.”

[10:40 – 10:47] “People with a closed mindset have a hard time getting to an open mindset because they already think we have it.”

[14:25 – 14:28] “To become the best that you can do, you’ve got to be able to overcome those hard things.”

 

Learn more about Jeff Heggie on:

Website: https://jeffheggie.com/

Facebook: http://fb.me/JeffHeggieCoaching%20

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeffheggiecoaching/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffheggie/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JeffHeggieCoach

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkgCsdx29eQcOBKPnopS2SA?view_as=subscriber

Learn more about his podcasts at https://jeffheggie.com/podcasts/