Ayla and Potato3s: A Nightly Message From Your Best Friend

In this episode, I share a bunch of little “odds and ends”: getting a 95 on my big assessment, a canceled gym class that turned into a much-shorter-than-planned swim, and realizing my arms are still recovering. I talk about rebuilding my coloring book and journal listings (including renaming “Create With Me” to “Color With Me” and retitling my 40-day journal), navigating odd gym-membership drama with my mom, and daydreaming about a future Valentino bag while I plan my next retreat.

In this episode, I share a soft, snack-filled kind of day: swimming laps until my arms ached, going to therapy, and then honoring my therapist’s advice to “take it easy” with a box of Triscuits and some supreme-pizza chips. I talk about my favorite comfort meal, tweaking my journals and book listings, and why the most freeing part of my retreat might have been not having to say “hi” to anyone unless I actually wanted to.

In this episode, I kick off day one of my “13 months of yes” by finally joining AMC’s movie club, taking myself to see a film, getting my eyebrows done for the first time in years, and even buying myself a cookie. I also share the chaos of three separate Walmart trips, visiting my sister in the hospital, rethinking my book titles and listings, and the quiet excitement of slowly rebuilding my life with more intention, creativity, and things to look forward to.

In this episode, I’m back from my 10-day silent Vipassana retreat and trying to put words to an experience that was nothing like I expected. I share what it was like to wake up at 4 a.m., navigate long hours of meditation, and even become the accidental “snake hero” who calmly swept a surprise visitor out of the meditation hall

Content warning: This episode includes mention of suicidal thoughts and a situation where someone was planning to end their life. Please take care of yourself while listening

Reminder: I am out of town until March 22nd

In this episode, I reflect on “acts of kindness,” the ones I offer and the ones I receive. I talk about buying my friend a jacket she casually mentioned, finding out it literally gave her enough hope to keep going, and realizing how small, simple gifts can restore someone’s faith in God, in people, and in tomorrow.

In this episode, I actually let myself have a true “day of rest” for spring break aka no school, no big projects, just finishing a fantasy novel, picking up my new Aurora body wash, and taking a nap that confused my sense of time. I also share some tension with my dad about my upcoming silent retreat, what it means to choose this time away anyway, and the small, practical ways I’m getting ready for it.

In this episode, I celebrate a little “spring break” energy: I finally finished and embedded my quiz on the website, turned in my big school assessment at 23:23, and officially entered a week with no classes on my plate. I talk about family dinner, a new baby niece on the way, soft plans for reading and resting, and what it feels like to have a day without a thousand things tugging at me.

In this episode, I share a day that didn’t go how I expected, no mentor meeting, no quiz finished, but still somehow moved things forward with new writing and quiet progress on my books. I also talk about being able to give back financially to friends the way others once showed up for me, and how those moments remind me I’m loved, provided for, and allowed to trust that things work out in their own timing

TW: This episode contains mention of disordered eating patterns and body image struggles. If this is something you’re navigating personally, please be gentle with yourself today.

In this episode, I give a late-night life update: accidentally nocturnal sleep, long chats about how broken school systems feel, and the surprising urge to start writing a new book about my upcoming “13 months of yes.” I also talk about prepping for my retreat, juggling journals, money worries, and how old food and body patterns still show up even as I keep taking small, brave steps forward.

TW: brief mention of past suicidal ideation

In this episode, I unpack a really heavy therapy day, realizing I’ve basically gone “low contact” with my mom while still living in the same house, and how that constant emotional monitoring wears on me. I talk about wanting my own space, wondering what my “best characteristic” actually is, and the tiny thread of hope that keeps me here: the thought that tomorrow might finally bring good news.