Ayla and Potato3s: A Nightly Message From Your Best Friend

I painted two paintings, fangirled over green grapes at Aldi, accidentally recorded videos with no sound, and somehow ended up crying over a Reddit astrology reading that described my life so accurately it felt like being seen for the first time in a long time. The star card comes after the tower, and maybe all of 2025 was my tower, not one dramatic collapse but a few bricks at a time until one day you look around and realize everything fell while you were still standing in it. This is episode 590, and I have more to be grateful for than I’ve ever had before, and I’m not going to pretend that isn’t everything.

I slept until 7pm on February 22nd and instead of apologizing for it, I’m calling it exactly what it was , a radical act of self-worth from someone who was taught her whole life that rest has to be earned. A message from a friend I didn’t expect, dumplings and mandarins, and a dream about deleting my whole book reminded me that 222 doesn’t have to look like a meditation, sometimes it looks like finally believing you deserve to stop. I produced today, just in a different timezone than usual.

I gave myself a weekend off, ended up sleeping until almost 2 pm, and somehow turned a Costco run with my sister into an unexpected solo adventure window shopping through the Galleria: Nordstrom, Valentino, Gucci, Lafayette 148, you name it. No budget, no plan, just me in a sparkly black shirt with a hole in the back of my pants, trying on orange puffer jackets and $26K crocodile Gucci bags like it’s totally normal. Sometimes the best days are the ones you never saw coming.

Today was a dive into the deep end of the "multitudes," starting with a literal "Eagle-Eye" session on KDP that taught me the hard way about Amazon’s bundle rules. I’m navigating a strange, reflective headspace after watching documentaries on death and a fascinating Korean show about shamans and destiny, which led to some surprisingly dark humor about my "discount cremation" plan and the reality of my final words. From receiving my first "maybe" from a major coloring magazine to a raw, hour-long confrontation with my sister about whether she "secretly hates me," it’s been a day of high stakes and high weirdness.

In this episode, I’m navigating a day that started with an "out of sorts" 11 AM wake-up and spiraled into a family whirlwind. I’m getting real about the emotional exhaustion of feeling in "limbo," the sting of not being heard during vulnerable moments, and the petty-but-satisfying decision to reclaim my digital boundaries after a blowup with my sister (goodbye, ad-free YouTube!). From "Goddess of GPS" frustrations to a two-restaurant dinner debacle that ended in surprisingly good shrimp fra diavolo, I’m peeling back the layers on family dynamics and why sometimes, just "starting somewhere" means surviving the day.

Today was a marathon of "moving the needle," starting with a medical scare that turned into a lesson in self-advocacy and ending with a late-night push to get my new coloring book into the hands of the world’s biggest publications. I’m diving into the "rabbit hole" of PR, from emailing Oprah magazine and BuzzFeed to signing up for HARO and sharing the powerful mindset shift of "giving it to God" when the worry starts to creep in. Between a 19-hour day, a Vietnamese dessert adventure, and learning the ropes of video editing, I’m realizing that even when I think I haven't done much, I’m actually building an empire one script and one email at a time.

In this episode, I’m diving into a surprisingly profound therapy breakthrough where I discovered that my ultimate "safe space" isn’t a rainbow or a movie theater, it’s a Furniture store . I’m reflecting on the day I manifested my entire apartment's aesthetic, the mystery of how "protectors" always show up exactly when I need them, and why a furniture store is actually the world's best inexpensive date spot. Plus, I’m navigating the "dangerous" conversations with my favorite classmate and making the executive decision to push my Patreon launch until the timing feels as right as a custom leather ottoman.

Today was a masterclass in "Sovereign Cleaning" aka I traded my school homework for a top-to-bottom room reset, from organizing the closet to purging the "socks that will never show up." Between a monumental three-meal day and navigating the "mushy" reality of 93/7 ground turkey, I’ve been deep in reflection on the feedback I received about my new journal's neurodivergent accessibility. Join me as I prep my 28 grapes for the Lunar New Year, dive into the "no rhyme or reason" playlists of my art, and discover that being "neurotypical" is just an opinion in the middle of a massive life transition

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jTDxujngVs1lspoSdkdtdzK5fn8GVy8U5SMMacnKS00/edit?usp=sharing

I’m celebrating the small wins today, from a record-breaking 93 on my school assessment to officially surviving two days without a five-hour nap. I’ve been deep in the weeds of "recovering perfectionism," font-tuning my journals and drafting a multi-AI-powered press release to make sure my creative vision is articulated perfectly. Join me as I navigate the "eagle-eyed" world of KDP formatting, dream of opening a shame-free grocery store, and prepare for a Lunar New Year's Eve full of grapes and fresh starts.

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples, it’s "I Love You Day," a reminder to celebrate every soul you care about, starting with the one in the mirror. From a surprise merch gift and a "spiritual hug" at a show to the massive news that I’ve officially been accepted to the 10-day Vipassana retreat in March, today was a beautiful reminder that we are never truly alone; we are supported. Join me as I recount a day of "Eternal Sunshine" lip gloss, red lips, and the quiet magic of unexpected connections.