b Cause Work Doesn't Have to Suck

This episode is part journalism, part therapy, part "girl WHAT?!"

Today's guest, Melanie Marshall, is a former BBC foreign journalist turned filmmaker, speaker, and coach who has reported from some of the most intense places on earth. And somehow… despite seeing humanity at its messiest, she still believes people are mostly good.

Some of the things you'll hear:

-The wildly unexpected way radicalized followers of Osama Bin Laden welcomed her into an interview shortly after his death

-What actually creates human connection when people disagree on literally everything

-Why she repeatedly ignored her boss's instructions, chased stories anyway, and somehow ended up with life-changing moments… and a goat

-Stories that prove women across the world are a lot more alike than we think, even in radically different circumstances

-The time she got smacked repeatedly with a feather duster by a man, plus the moment she relied on her single greatest survival skill to get herself out of danger

Melanie tells stories the way your funniest friend would if your funniest friend also casually wandered through war zones, political unrest, and deeply human moments while carrying BBC equipment. It's equal parts hilarious, eye-opening, uncomfortable, hopeful, and "HOW IS THIS A REAL STORY?" energy.

How you can use Human Connection to drive change | Melanie Marshall | TEDx

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melanie-marshall-237a641/

Substack: https://imrama.substack.com/

Website:http://melaniemarshall.com

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If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie

If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!

- Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram

- Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?"quiz

- Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)"

-Throw out half the playbook and start competing in a league of your own. Check out Erin's book, The 50% Rule.

-Work with Us

-Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here

To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: [email protected]

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

"She impacted me, she impacted my friend, she impacted all of these people with her goodness and her fiery spirit. She lived."

"If you think about the different stages that you get to in your career and when you reach a new one, you realize, 'oh, they're all people'"

"I am grateful that I have let myself be impacted so much by the people I have met because I feel a gift and a responsibility to let what I have learned from them go forward."

"I am not the lady in a sheet. I am the boss."

"The story wasn't over. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't over. And that's where I get hope."

Note: This transcript has been edited and condensed for clarity, readability, and length.

In this episode of Because Work Doesn't Have to Suck, Erin sits down with former BBC foreign journalist Melanie Marshall to talk about leadership, courage, connection, resilience, and why she still believes humanity is fundamentally good after reporting from some of the world's most dangerous places. From interviewing extremists in Pakistan to reporting in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, and the Philippines, Melanie shares unforgettable stories about human connection, optimism, fear, and what really helps people survive difficult moments.

Why Melanie Marshall Still Believes in Humanity

Erin: You've seen some of the worst parts of the world, yet your message is still rooted in hope and optimism. That feels almost impossible right now.

Melanie: I know optimism gets eye rolls these days. But what I've learned traveling the world is this: if you let it, the world will humble you. It'll break your heart. But it also teaches you that people are far more complicated, funny, resilient, and loving than headlines make them seem.

I've spent years in places like Afghanistan, Iraq, and Gaza. Even in places under terrible oppression, people still laugh. They still flirt. They still joke. They still find joy behind closed doors. Human beings don't stop being human just because circumstances become horrific.

That's where my optimism comes from. The story is hard, but it's not over.

Meeting Followers of Osama Bin Laden

Erin: Tell us about the experience you had just after Osama Bin Laden was killed.

Melanie: We went to Pakistan shortly after his death because I wanted audiences to understand something important: Bin Laden wasn't just a man. He represented a movement.

We arranged to meet with radicalized followers of his in Karachi. I was nervous. Deeply nervous. Externally, I looked calm. Internally, I was thinking, "Am I completely insane for doing this?"

As we drove up, I heard children playing. We were meeting at a school.

That immediately lowered my fear level because they had intentionally chosen a setting they knew would make us feel safer. Then we walked in and the welcoming committee was wearing USA baseball caps.

These were people whose ideology I completely rejected, but they were trying to communicate something human: "You're safe here."

That moment changed how I think about connection. Even in situations where people fundamentally disagree, humans still look for ways to create understanding.

"Be As Normal As Possible"

Melanie: One phrase I've used throughout my career is: "Be as normal as possible."

I used it walking into Taliban prisons. I used it in war zones. And honestly, it applies to corporate life too.

If you're about to walk into a terrifying meeting with a VP or ask for a raise, don't pressure yourself to be perfectly poised or fearless. It's not a normal situation.

Just be as normal as possible. A little awkwardness is fine.

The Currency Everyone Wants

Melanie: I met a young woman in Gaza who created art sculptures out of sand because that was the only material available to her.

What she wanted most wasn't pity. She wanted to be seen.

I told her her work reminded me of art I'd seen in California. That mattered to her because it acknowledged she belonged in the same conversation as artists everywhere else in the world.

Erin: I always say everyone has a currency. Usually it's much smaller and simpler than we think.

Melanie: Exactly. Most people just want acknowledgment, respect, or connection.

The Woman Who Changed Her Life

Melanie: One of the people who impacted me most was a woman named Ghada in Mosul, Iraq.

She was funny, independent, ambitious, and full of life. We instantly connected. We joked about men, talked about work, laughed constantly.

She was also exactly the kind of woman extremists hated: outspoken, educated, joyful, politically active.

At one point she escaped Mosul, but she went back because she didn't want to leave her father behind.

ISIS killed her.

What stays with me is that even while living under horrific conditions, she remained hopeful. Loving. Funny. Fully alive.

That changed me forever.

Why Connection Matters More Than Status

Melanie: I've interviewed celebrities, billionaires, world leaders, and people no one has ever heard of.

The people who changed me most were usually the latter.

Connection matters more than status. Once you really sit down with someone, the hierarchy starts disappearing. They're just people.

And I think we forget that constantly.

The Feather Duster Incident

Melanie: I once visited an extremely conservative shrine near the Iranian border where modesty rules were intensely enforced.

I was trying to manage my reporting team while also wearing a chador that kept slipping off my head. Every time even the tiniest strand of hair showed, a man would smack me with a feather duster.

Eventually I was furious. Absolutely furious.

And then a group of women saw what was happening.

They didn't confront the man directly. Instead, they surrounded me, fixed my chador, sat me down, and pulled out snacks.

That moment stuck with me forever.

Women see each other. They protect each other. Sometimes survival looks like forming a circle around someone and handing them food.

Bravery Isn't What People Think

Erin: People constantly describe you as brave.

Melanie: I honestly don't think I'm brave. I think I'm good at functioning during chaos.

There's a difference.

I've run from airstrikes in Ukraine. I've dropped to the ground while bullets flew overhead in Libya. I assure you: I was not standing there heroically.

Most people aren't fearless. They simply have a purpose bigger than their fear.

Families survive war zones because protecting their children matters more than panic. I kept reporting because I believed it mattered to connect people with the truth of what was happening.

Purpose propels you forward.

The Story Wasn't Over

Melanie: After covering devastating typhoon damage in the Philippines, I left feeling overwhelmed with guilt because I could leave and everyone else had to stay behind.

Years later, I stayed in touch with the local drivers and families we worked with there. I watched their children graduate school. I watched them rebuild their lives.

That experience taught me something important: the story wasn't over just because I left during the worst part.

We do this in our own lives too. We assume difficult moments are final chapters when they're often just hard middle sections.

Bucking the Norm in Afghanistan

Melanie: I once fought hard to report from one of the most remote regions of Afghanistan because I wanted to document what childbirth looked like in the most dangerous place in the world to give birth.

My bosses kept trying to convince us not to go.

We went anyway.

The journey was brutal. Multiple flat tires. Dangerous mountain roads. A clinic fire in the middle of the night. At one point villagers handed my bra around after rescuing our belongings from the fire, which became an entire cultural misunderstanding on its own.

Eventually, a woman arrived at the clinic to give birth. Her baby died, but she survived, and she was relieved simply to have lived.

That story changed how people understood maternal healthcare in Afghanistan because we insisted on going all the way to where the story actually lived.

Sometimes bucking the norm simply means refusing to stop halfway.

Final Thoughts on Hope

Melanie: The world can be heartbreaking. Truly heartbreaking.

But everywhere I've gone, I've also found humor, generosity, resilience, love, and connection.

That's why I still believe in people.

The story is difficult. But it isn't finished yet.

Life isn't all smooth conversations and easy people. Sometimes it's messy, uncomfortable, and straight-up frustrating.

In this episode, Erin sits down with former trial lawyer turned entrepreneur and conflict expert Gabe Karp to talk about how to handle tough situations without spiraling, avoiding, or blowing things up.

Because here's the truth: conflict isn't the problem. How you handle it is.

Gabe shares practical strategies to help you stay grounded, take control, and walk away without regret… even when the other person is making it hard.

Here's what you'll hear:

- Why there are always "two tokens" in every situation and how to choose wisely

-The 5 traps that quietly sabotage your ability to handle conflict

-A simple shift that helps you stay calm when things start going sideways

-Gabe's least proud leadership moment and the lesson that stuck

-The subtle behavior that might be holding others back (and you don't even realize it)

Website: GabeKarp.com

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/gabe-karp-1b772a1b

Check out Gabe's TED Talk, How To Thrive With Difficult People: https://youtu.be/ggOQg6uUV2M?si=nKviXwvHJkGgvLGk

If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie

To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: [email protected]

If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!

• Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)

• Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram

• Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group

• Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?"quiz

• Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)"

• Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice

• Work with Us

• Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

• "Everyone knows what "better" looks like. They just don't know where to start."

• "When you really screw something up for a client, that is an opportunity to make the relationship stronger and better."

• "Mistakes are inevitable and a real true test of character is how we react once we recognize we've made a mistake."

• "You cannot drive growth and innovation without conflict."

• "What do you get out of being mad?"

  Episode Transcript

  This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity and readability.

  In this episode, Erin Hatzikostas talks with conflict expert Gabe Karp about how to handle difficult workplace conversations, give feedback without becoming the bully, manage conflict with bosses and clients, and use practical tools like the "two tokens" theory, the "shopping list voice," and the penguin philosophy.

  Why Conflict Is So Hard at Work

  Erin: I'm really excited to talk to you today. I think we can never have too many episodes about tough conversations. Conflict is the word you use, and our audience is working in a very Game of Thrones-type environment — corporate America.

  Erin: You are a conflict expert. Was there a moment when you realized this was the work you wanted to do?

  Gabe: There was. I spent ten years as a litigator, mostly in commercial litigation and legal malpractice. If you think a normal lawsuit is contentious, suing lawyers for screwing up is that on steroids.

  Gabe: I learned a lot about anger and how it flows through a room. For all the wrong reasons, I loved it.

  Gabe: Then I left private practice and joined a startup. We were growing fast, and whenever there were issues — a client problem, an internal mistake, anything — I wanted to jump in and fix it. But everyone around me was uncomfortable with conflict, and I didn't realize that at first.

  Gabe: I realized we couldn't fix what needed fixing if everyone was tiptoeing around issues. I had to consciously find ways to help people feel comfortable having difficult conversations.

  Can People Get Better at Conflict?

  Erin: Do you think people can transform? A lot of people listening may think, "I just naturally run from conflict."

  Gabe: Absolutely. I think it's nurture, not nature. We all have the same fight-or-flight instinct. But the ability to pause that instinctive response in the moment is something people can learn.

  Gabe: The thing I've found most effective is helping people find the right entry point into a difficult conversation. One line I use all the time is, "If I were in your position, I'd want someone to tell me this."

  Gabe: Once people have that one sentence to break the ice, all the things they need to say can come out in a productive, respectful way.

  Erin: So one of the most important things is the entry point into the conversation.

  Gabe: Exactly. Most people have a sense of what needs to happen. They just don't know how to begin.

  When Your Boss Keeps Changing Priorities

  Erin: Let's take a common scenario. Someone's boss keeps changing priorities. One week it's one thing, the next week it's another. The employee is overwhelmed and hasn't said anything. How should they approach that conversation?

  Gabe: You want to bring awareness to the boss. It's like holding up a mirror and letting them see what their behavior looks like.

  Gabe: In the moment, you might say, "It sounds like this is important, but two days ago you told me the thing I'm working on now had the same level of urgency. If I drop this, it remains unfinished. If I move to this new thing and then two days from now we switch again, that becomes difficult for me because I don't know what's actually important."

  Gabe: You're not attacking them. You're helping them see the pattern. Most people don't want to be perceived as the person who creates fire after fire after fire.

  Erin: I think one of the most important things you said is to address it in the moment. A lot of people wait for the next one-on-one, and by then they're nervous or the meeting gets delayed.

  The Two Tokens Theory

  Erin: Let's talk about customer conflict. How do you handle a situation where you have to tell a client that something you promised isn't going to be delivered?

  Gabe: There's a concept I love called the choice between two tokens. In every customer service complaint, there are two tokens on the table: the "it's not a big deal" token and the "this is the end of the world" token.

  Gabe: Whoever picks up the first token forces the other side to pick up the only token that's left.

  Gabe: If a customer has a serious complaint and you minimize it, they are forced into the "end of the world" position. But if you immediately take accountability and say, "This is unacceptable. We failed you. We're going to fix it," the customer often becomes the one to say, "Okay, it's not that bad."

  Gabe: In business, there is almost no downside to taking accountability first, even if you don't know all the facts yet. If you later learn the other side was also at fault, you'll have more credibility because your default response was accountability.

  Gabe: When you really screw something up for a client, that can actually become an opportunity to make the relationship stronger. Mistakes are inevitable. The real test is how you respond once you recognize the mistake.

  Erin: I love that metaphor. I've never heard it explained that way, but I've seen that strategy work.

  Why Conflict Drives Growth

  Erin: You say conflict can drive growth and innovation. Tell us more about that.

  Gabe: You cannot drive growth and innovation without conflict. It's impossible.

  Gabe: Companies where everyone is a yes person and no one raises their hand when there's a problem will kill innovation. The same is true for careers. People grow when they receive feedback, learn from mistakes, and get better.

  Gabe: If someone is repeatedly making a mistake and you know exactly what they're doing wrong, but you withhold that information because you don't want them to feel uncomfortable, you're depriving them of the opportunity to become the best version of themselves.

  Gabe: People often think avoiding feedback is kind. But sometimes it's actually cruel because you're withholding information they need in order to grow.

  Gabe: You can say something like, "If I were in your position, I'd want to be told this," or, "I think you're being perceived in a way you don't want to be perceived." Then get specific.

  Gabe: It's not enough to tell someone what they did wrong. You also need to give them something they can take away and use to improve.

  Feedback as a Leadership Gift

  Erin: That reminds me of a boss who once gave me feedback after I ran a town hall. I thought I had crushed it, and he told me I said "I" a lot — "I think," "I want," "my vision." It stuck with me because he was right.

  Erin: If he hadn't told me, he would have deprived me of becoming a better leader.

  Gabe: That's huge. Whether or not he was your favorite boss, that was a real service he did for you.

  Don't Get Mad at Penguins

  Erin: We have to talk about penguins. Your book is called Don't Get Mad at Penguins. Why?

  Gabe: Don't get mad at penguins because they can't fly.

  Gabe: It's a lesson in acceptance. We need to accept people, limitations and all, and stop expecting them to do things they are not capable of doing.

  Gabe: The hard part is that limitations are often hard to see. A penguin is a bird. It has wings and feathers. Everything about it suggests it should be able to fly. But it can't. Flight is literally beyond its ability.

  Gabe: People often say, "Of course this person is capable of behaving differently. They're smart. They can analyze other people's behavior." But that doesn't necessarily mean they can see or change their own behavior.

  Gabe: If someone behaves the same way every single time, and you know there's a 100% chance they'll do it again, why keep getting mad? Sometimes you have to accept the limitation.

  Gabe: The penguin analogy helps people separate themselves from anger. They start picturing the difficult person as a little penguin who can't fly, and it takes the hot air out of the situation.

  Erin: I love that. Think of people as penguins.

  The Five Conflict Traps

  Erin: You talk about five traps that turn conflict against businesses. What are they?

  Gabe: The five traps are the bully trap, the need-to-win trap, the liar trap, the avoidance trap, and the judgment trap.

  Gabe: These show up in all human interaction, not just business. Things like anger, fear, ego, and judgment are not always bad. In healthy amounts, they can be useful. Anger can motivate you to fix something broken. Fear can protect you.

  Gabe: But when those things move outside their healthy range, they become toxic.

  The Bully Trap

  Gabe: The bully trap is not about a playground bully who enjoys hurting people. It's a situation where someone, because of urgency, fear, or passion, behaves in a way that is perceived as bullying.

  Gabe: If someone on my team makes a mistake and I yell at them because I'm angry, I may think I'm giving feedback, but I'm not. I'm just beating them up.

  Gabe: If I want to understand why something happened and I start by yelling, they're just going to defend themselves. There won't be a genuine conversation.

  The Need-to-Win Trap

  Gabe: The need-to-win trap happens when your desire to win a small battle eclipses the reason you entered that battle in the first place.

  Gabe: I experienced this as a litigator. I had a case where I found a smoking gun piece of evidence. I knew I could destroy the other side at trial, and I wanted that moment.

  Gabe: A judge pulled me aside during a settlement conference and reminded me that my job wasn't to win for the sake of winning. My job was to get the best result for my client.

  Gabe: I had become so focused on winning and punishing the other side that I almost lost sight of what was actually best for the client.

  Erin: I think we can all relate to that. Maybe not in a trial, but definitely at work or in relationships.

  The Shopping List Voice

  Erin: Let's talk about detoxing the bully trap. How do you do that?

  Gabe: I love using what I call the shopping list voice.

  Gabe: Imagine someone says, "Hey Gabe, I'm going to the store. Do you want me to pick anything up?" And I say, "Yes, eggs, milk, frosting, and sprinkles." It's matter-of-fact. Neutral. Calm.

  Gabe: Now take a workplace example. A client fires us because someone on my team sent deliverables with mistakes, the client had to redo the work, and they missed a deadline.

  Gabe: I could explode and attack the person. Or I could say in a calm voice, "I just got off the phone with the client. The deliverables had mistakes. They had to redo the work. They missed the deadline as a result. They said this wasn't the first time it happened, and they fired us. That was a $2 million account."

  Gabe: The substance is the same. But in the angry version, the person stops listening almost immediately. In the shopping list voice version, they may not like what I'm saying, but they can actually hear it.

  Gabe: If you're really mad, practice first. If you can't say it in the shopping list voice, you're not ready for the real conversation yet.

  Accountability Plus Reaffirmation

  Gabe: When people screw up, it's also an opportunity. Deliver the feedback in a shopping list voice, then reaffirm the person.

  Gabe: You can say, "This is serious. But you are not horrible. You're smart and capable, and my hope is that this becomes a turning point in your career."

  Gabe: That combination helps you avoid being perceived as a bully. You tell the truth clearly, and you also remind the person that the mistake is not their identity.

  Erin: So it's a one-two punch: use the shopping list voice, then reaffirm the person at the end.

  Bucking the Norm by Having the Hard Conversation

  Erin: We always ask guests for a "buck that" story — a time they went against conventional wisdom. What's yours?

  Gabe: I'll tell you about another mistake I made. When I first moved from litigation into a startup, I was still communicating like a litigator. Lawyers swear at each other all the time and no one is offended.

  Gabe: One night, a sales person made a mistake, and I was dealing with the fallout. I sent him a brutal email with a subject line I should not have written. I copied another lawyer because I thought I was showing how I was managing the situation.

  Gabe: The next morning, that lawyer told me, "You can't do that. These people aren't lawyers. They're real human beings with feelings."

  Gabe: That was a turning point. I realized the way I communicated in litigation wasn't effective in the real world.

  Gabe: The norm I decided to buck was avoidance. So many people avoid difficult conversations, but I made a commitment not to carry anger or frustration around at work or in my personal life.

  Gabe: If someone does something that feels disrespectful of me or my time, I assume first that they don't realize it and are not being intentionally mean-spirited. Then I make them aware of it respectfully and quickly.

  Final Advice to Make Work Suck Less

  Erin: What is your final tip to make work suck less for our listeners?

  Gabe: Think about the things that bother you at work and draw a circle around yourself. Anyone who enters that circle has to adhere to the higher standard you hold yourself to.

  Gabe: When people fall short of that standard, respectfully give them the gift of awareness.

  Gabe: It will make your professional life easier because people will learn how to work with you. It will also help you build the skill of expressing difficult concepts in a way people can actually hear.

  Gabe: If you were about to walk on stage and I saw spinach in your teeth, it would be mean not to tell you. Workplace mistakes are the professional version of having food in your teeth. Tell people. It's a gift.

  Erin: I love it. This has been great, and conflict is such a hot topic with our audience. Thank you so much for spending this time with us.

  Gabe: Thanks for having me.

What happens when you actually step away from work… like really step away?

In this episode, Nicole shares what it looked like to take a true 19-day vacation with zero email, zero checking in, and zero control. What started as a milestone birthday trip turned into something much bigger: a reset on how she works, leads, and lives.

From skinny dipping under a full moon in Mexico to rethinking perfection, boundaries, and identity at work, this conversation gets real about burnout, control, and what it actually takes to create a life that feels good. Not perfect. Just good.

If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie

To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: [email protected]

If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!

• Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)

• Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram

• Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group

• Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?"quiz

• Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)"

• Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice

• Work with Us

• Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

• "When you focus on perfection, you lose the moment. When you focus on the vibe, you create connection."

• "I don't want to do whatever time I have left the same way I've done it up to this point."

• "It wasn't about the birthday. It was about deciding how I wanted to feel and actually planning for that."

• "I can't make good decisions when my nervous system is out of whack."

In a world of overflowing inboxes, AI-generated emails, and corporate language that all sounds the same, most messages get ignored. Erin explains how changing just one word, adding an unexpected phrase, or using a little personality can break the pattern and actually get people to pay attention.

If you want people to listen to you at work, communicate more authentically, and stand out in workplace conversations, sometimes the fix is surprisingly simple.

To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: [email protected]

If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

A toxic workplace pushed this week's guest to his breaking point. That moment changed everything for him.

In this episode, Erin sits down with Shola Richards, CEO of Go Together Global, bestselling author of Civil Unity, host of the Kindness Extremist Podcast, and a speaker who has taken his message from Google and Microsoft to the TODAY Show, CBS Mornings, and even Congress.

But this conversation is not about fluffy kindness.

After years of bullying, workplace toxicity, and untreated depression, Shola hit rock bottom and attempted to drive his car off an overpass in Los Angeles. The guardrail held. That moment launched his mission to change the world by changing how we treat each other at work.

Here's what you will hear:

-The difference between a bad day and workplace bullying and why pattern matters

-A practical three-step framework for addressing toxic behavior

-Why "kill them with kindness" does not always work

-What leaders must start doing immediately to make work suck less

If you have ever worked with a bully, tolerated bad behavior, or wondered whether kindness is weakness in leadership, this episode will challenge you in the best way.

Connect with Shola:

Linkedin: Shola Richards

Podcast: The Kindness Extremist Podcast

If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie

To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: [email protected]

If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!

• Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)

• Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram

• Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group

• Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?"quiz

• Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)"

• Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice

• Work with Us

• Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

• "I had reached my capacity for accepting unkindness. I was done."

• "You can't hold someone accountable to a standard that doesn't exist."

• "The difference is one word: pattern."

• "Honeybees don't waste a moment of their time trying to convince houseflies that honey tastes better than shit."

​​Do you work for a neurotic boss?

You are capable. You know your numbers. You've done this before. But the moment there is a board meeting or executive presentation, your boss spirals and catapults into weeks of prep and endless rehearsals.

In this episode, Erin shares an executive coaching story about a seasoned P&L leader reporting to the COO whose boss demanded over-preparation and fully scripted talking points before presenting to the board.

The problem? No executive wants to be read to.

Erin breaks down three strategies to handle the panic without sacrificing credibility or authenticity.

If you'd like quick, tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email [email protected] If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, be sure to join us for more fun and inspiration! Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole) Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group Take our simple, fun, and insightful "What's your workplace superhero name?" quiz Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book, "You Do You (ish)" Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ass merch here DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsuitable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

"If you start reading from a script, they are going to immediately want to poke their eyes out."

In this episode, Erin sits down with her friend Drew Sullivan for a deeply honest conversation about addiction, recovery, and what it's like to grow up feeling misunderstood. Drew shares how being labeled "too much," navigating ADHD, and never being asked why shaped the way he moved through the world and how those early experiences quietly laid the groundwork for addiction long before substances entered the picture. This isn't a polished redemption story or a neat recovery arc. It's a human conversation about loss, self-awareness, and what finally made change unavoidable. If you've ever felt misunderstood, struggled with addiction (your own or someone close to you), or are still carrying stories from your early years that shaped who you became, this episode is for you. What you'll hear: 1) Why being labeled "too much" is often about context, not character—and how to tell the difference. 2) What it actually means to live inside-out instead of chasing approval from the outside world. 3) How Drew believes addiction often starts long before substances, and why unmet needs fuel it. 4) A simple, brutally honest way to know when something in your life has crossed the line. 5) Why work gets easier when you stop hiding parts of yourself and find people who can carry their own baggage too. Follow Drew on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrewjamessullivan/ If you'd like quick, tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email [email protected] If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, be sure to join us for more fun and inspiration! Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole) Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group Take our simple, fun, and insightful "What's your workplace superhero name?" quiz Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book, "You Do You (ish)" Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ass merch here DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsuitable for younger audiences. Tweetable Comments "I wasn't being asked why I was being told what I was doing wrong." "I never felt safe. I never felt heard, and I never felt seen." "When we focus on living our lives from the outside in, we are f*cked. But when we focus on living our lives from the inside out, anything is possible." "I don't feel like I have to think about doing things before I do them anymore and that's how I know my life has aggressively changed."

This episode is for anyone who swears they're "fine" while secretly letting work run their entire nervous system.

Erin and Nicole get honest about toxic attachment to jobs, the martyr complex disguised as responsibility, and why being the most dependable person in the room isn't the flex you think it is.

If you've ever said "I'll just do it," treated every email like a five-alarm fire, or confused being needed with being valuable, this one might hit close to home.

Here's what you'll hear:

1. Why a toxic job isn't always the problem, sometimes it's your attachment to being needed

2. How "I'll just do it" turns into martyrdom and quietly wrecks teams and leaders

3. The difference between being responsible and absorbing everything like it's your fault

4. Why not every urgent thing is a crisis and why you're not the crisis manager

5. What it actually looks like to care about your work without letting it run your nervous system

   If you'd like quick, tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email [email protected] If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, be sure to join us for more fun and inspiration! Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole) Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group Take our simple, fun, and insightful "What's your workplace superhero name?" quiz Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book, "You Do You (ish)" Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice Work with Us Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ass merch here DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsuitable for younger audiences.

   Tweetable Comments

   "You could work in the most functional place, you could own the business, and still have a toxic attachment to the role you have."

6. "We often confuse responsibility with absorption. Just because you own something doesn't mean it has to become your inner essence."

7. "The things that make us feel safe are sometimes the very things that make us appear inflexible."

8. "You are not the crisis manager unless your job is literally crisis manager. Not everything urgent is a crisis."

What does a futurist actually do, and how can understanding change make leadership and life feel less overwhelming?

In this episode, Erin talks with futurist Cecily Sommers about how change really works, why uncertainty feels so intense right now, and how leaders can stay grounded when planning horizons keep shrinking.

Here's what you'll hear: -A futurist studies change, not to predict outcomes, but to understand patterns.

-The future is not figure-out-able. It is followable.

-All change moves in cycles of order, disorder, and re-order.

-Understanding change lowers anxiety and increases agency.

-Leaders need shorter horizons, more experimentation, and stronger inner stability.

cecilysommers.com

leadlikeafuturist.com

Book:Think Like a Futurist

LinkedIn: Cecily Sommers

If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie

To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: [email protected]

If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!

• Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)

• Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram

• Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group

• Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?"quiz

• Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)"

• Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice

• Work with Us

• Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

• "The future's not figure-out-able. It is only followable."

• "All living systems function in cycles."

• "Anxiety goes down, and your agency goes up."

• "We can't really change it, but we can observe it, respect it, and work with it."

​​In this micro-motivator episode, Erin shares the one strategy every new leader underestimates: using real stories of failure to build trust.

Whether you're stepping into a new role or trying to earn trust with a team that already knows you, this episode gives you a simple habit that makes people think, "I can be myself around this leader."

If you'd like quick tangible tips and practical corporate career advice to level up your authentic leadership, download the 10 simple "plays" to stop selling out and start standing out at https://bauthenticinc.mykajabi.com/freebie

To connect with Erin and/or Nicole, email: [email protected]

If you like jammin' with us on the podcast, b sure to join us for more fun and inspiration!

• Follow b Cause on Twitter (really it's mostly Nicole)

• Follow Erin on LinkedIn or Instagram

• Join the b Cause Podcast Facebook Group

• Take our simple, fun and insightful"What's your workplace superhero name?"quiz

• Unleash your Authentic Superpower with Erin's book,"You Do You (ish)"

• Check out our blog for more no-BS career advice

• Work with Us

• Or just buy some fun, authentic, kick-ars merch here

DISCLAIMER: This episode is not explicit, though contains mild swearing that may be unsustainable for younger audiences.

Tweetable Comments

• "This was the first time that I had learned this lesson that working harder wasn't necessarily the answer to success."

• "Being a great leader or being a great successful person in business or in what you do isn't necessarily about following a rubric or doing it the same way."

• "A humility moment is essentially a story about a time when you screwed up."

• "As soon as you share a humility moment, immediately your trust radar sort of goes down and they think, well, if they told me that and they didn't have to, they're probably not hiding other things from me as well."