B Movie Breakdown

When you hear that there was an adaptation of The Phantom Of The Opera made in 1989, starring Robert Englund, you probably think its going to be a bloody and cheesy take on it, right? Especially when the poster says “First he was Freddy, now he’s The Phantom,” right? Well, you would be very wrong; just like we were. This adaptation, while much more of a horror movie than any others, is actually said to be the most faithful adaptation to the Gaston Leroux original novel. Aside from the present day scenes in the beginning and end, it’s a very serious take on The Phantom. It does have some somewhat gory parts, along with some great makeup effects when he is putting on and taking off his face, but over all was pretty much a snoozefest. Speaking of snoozefest, one of us *cough* Ryan *cough* actually fell asleep for a small section of this movie.

This week we watched a movie that was weird, wrong, and awesome on so many levels. The movie we speak of is the 1988 cult classic ‘Hell Comes To Frogtown,’ starring the one and only Rowdy Roddy Piper! Most know Piper from his days as a professional wrestler or from the bubble gum chewing hero from ‘They Live,’ but very few know that he followed up ‘They Live’ with this over the top gem. The film is set in an post-apocalyptic wasteland where few fertile men and women exist due to atomic fallout and, as a result, the government places a high priority on those that can still breed. In comes Sam Hell, played by Piper, who is captured by the women ruled government and given a mission to rescue fertile women from Frogtown and fuck for freedom. Will Sam Hell make it out of Frogtown alive? Will he breed, like he’s never bred before? Will he defeat the leader of the frog-people Commander Toadie? Watch the movie in full on YouTube then listen to Episode 70 to find out!

While scouring the bowels of Netflix hell, we came across ‘Cloak & Dagger’ from 1984. While we all miss the way children’s movies used to be a bit more edgey, for example Goonies & Gremlins, this takes it to a whole new level. The film is centered around 11-year-old Davey, whose mother is dead and whose father doesn’t spend nearly enough time with him. When he accidentally comes into possession of a spy group’s secret Cloak & Dagger Atari 5200 game, the adventure really begins. He must learn to rely on himself, his best friend Kim, and his imaginary pal Jack Flack to save his skin. This kid is constantly shot at, almost stabbed, and almost run over, not to mention blown sky high via a bomb made just to blow up a little girl. The bad guys in this go to some crazy extremes to kill this kid, even after they have the game cartridge they are looking for.

This week on the podcast we took a real doozey of a trip with the 2007 horror flick ‘Shrooms.’ The film follows 3 couples that head to Ireland for shroom picking season….which is apparently a thing. Once out in the middle of nowhere, spooky tales of ancient Irish druids and psychopaths who killed 78 people come about to put our characters in a typical people in the woods/slasher movie element with a dash of shroom tripping. The movie turns into a huge mess very soon after this, we don’t know how many times we said, “What is going on?” while watching this movie. It all comes to a close with a huge cop out of an ending to piss us all off and leave us tripping in anger.

This week on the podcast we took a real doozey of a trip with the 2007 horror flick ‘Shrooms.’ The film follows 3 couples that head to Ireland for shroom picking season….which is apparently a thing. Once out in the … Continue reading →

Most video game movies are bad. Most are so bad they never get a sequel. Well the first Mortal Kombat movie wasn’t all that bad and made a ton of money, so of course they made a sequel. The only thing is…could this sequel be as good, if not better than the first? HELL NO! ‘Mortal Kombat Annihilation’ picks up LITERALLY where the first movie ends and falls apart within seconds. You know a movie is going to be bad when they re-cast almost all of the main characters from the first one, except for two. If you are looking for a movie with poor acting, anticlimactic death scenes, and all of your favorite characters from the video game completely wasted, then this movie is for you. By the end of this one, we felt like we only had six days until the world was going to end from an extra-dimensional invasion.

This week on the podcast we watched RAD from 1986, starring Talia Shire and Lori Loughlin. The film’s story focuses on Cru Jones, a young BMX racer, who lives in a small town with his mother and sister. Cru is faced with a tough life changing decision: the qualifying races for Helltrack are the same day as his SATs, which he must take in order to attend college! However, winning Helltrack means a lucrative sponsorship deal and instant fame. Cru chooses the latter option, ignoring his mother’s wishes. Along the way he meets Christian, who he immediately falls in love with after they have an EPIC bike dance off. This movie is full of bike montages, ass sliding montages, training montages, and more montages! If you love BMX, the 80’s, and montages, then this is the movie for you. Do you have what it takes to be RAD?

This week on the podcast, for the first time ever, the movie we have chosen was literally just released in theaters this past weekend. The movie we speak of is none other than I, Frankenstein starring Aaron Eckhart. It’s opening weekend box office take was only $8.3 million, on a budget of $65 million. We figured, if we are going to see this abomination, why not go all out; so we saw it in IMAX 3D! Yes, this movie was actually released in IMAX….if you can believe that. The tale takes us on the journey of Frankenstein’s monster as he is stuck in a war between demons and gargoyles. Throughout the movie there is tons of fighting, fighting, and did I mention fighting. If we were all 10 years old and watching this movie, we would have loved every single second of this disasterpiece. So enjoy episode 65 as we discuss 2014’s I, Frankenstein.

This week’s movie, Color Of Night, may be one of the oddest recommendations we have ever received. I mean when listener Leo Logan told us he wanted us to do a movie starring Bruce Willis, the 3 of us obviously assumed he was going to say the infamous Hudson Hawk…well what we got was something even more ridiculous. Yes, that’s right, even more ridiculous than Hudson Hawk! Who knows why, at possibly the height of his career, Willis thought doing this movie was a great idea. This movie has some of the oddest music choices, odd editing, a whacky who dunnit plot, off the wall dialogue, and an insane sex scene that includes a quick glimpse at Little Bruno. The film, also starring Scott Bakula, Brad Dourif, & Lance Henrickson, is about a color-blind psychiatrist who is stalked by an unknown killer after taking over his murdered friend’s therapy group, all of whom have a connection to a mysterious young woman that he begins having intense sexual encounters with.

The day has come….the first brand new episode of B Movie Breakdown of 2014!! That’s right we are back and kicking things off with the 1984 controversial horror film Silent Night, Deadly Night. This movie haa been a long time coming on the podcast and had been requested multiple times over the past 62 episodes, so what better time than the first episode of 2014. If you are unaware, the movie is about a young boy who watches his parents get murdered by a man in a Santa suit. He spends his youth in an orphanage, staying quietly to his self, but his mind is further bent by an ironhanded Mother Superior. He ends up getting a job at a toy store, where he finally snaps when he is required to wear a Santa suit, and goes on a killing spree to punish the naughty.