Mournful Valentine’s Day to all of you! The worst day of the year is nearly upon us, and what better way to stew in hatred, spite, jealousy, and self-loathing than to watch Jonathan Demme’s 1991 horror masterpiece The Silence of the Lambs… or, better yet, listen to your beloved podcast host wax transetic with her beautiful cisgender friend Natalie “The Critic” Price. Blood, guts, and a whole lotta queer representation: that’s how we’re spending Valentine’s Day. “Unproblematic, blessed and collecting that bag, hunty!” - Hannibal Lecter. “Move over, boys, there’s a girlie putting on the pants these days, b***h!” - Clarice Starling. “Who got the good tucking panties plug?” - Buffalo Bill. Let’s skewer this holiday, queenaliciouses. Enjoy, or, rather, don’t.

My biological Mom, the woman whose uterus I emerged from nineteen years ago (if you’re confused I’m actually not talking about Lady Gaga at the moment), graces Babbling On the podcast today. We had a really beautiful conversation about trauma, faith, creativity, perseverance, books, and so much more (the general topic was life advice). I just wanted to take a special moment to shout her out once more, formally: Mom, you are the most courageous, brilliant, beautiful, strong, kind, loving, incredible person in the world and I love you so much. She has restored my faith in the world more times than I can count. I loff you so much Mama!

“Excuse me, ma’am? Can you please put your hands up and make them touch? It’s Artpop day at Babbling On Institutes, you see, and so we’re going to need to see you naked lover, and to peek underneath the covers.”

Oh my, my apologies, I don’t know who that woman speaking just now was, but rest assured she has been apprehended. Anyway, Hilton here, now, and today we’re talking about Lady Gaga’s fourth studio album, Artpop, and the global cultural shift it caused. We’re joined by one of the great minds of this (and any) generation, the music scholar, lawyer, and Classics reader AJ Jordan. Babble!

We’ve all heard of the months — those twelve twee twerps we must slog through to put another year under our belts. But has anyone ever dared to think about what these months might be like on an individual basis? Is January the same personality as July — does November have the same hobbies as April? One way to find out: we called in resident timekeeper Gay Alec Cohen, known colloquially as Gay Choreographer, to kick off our third timer’s club series and give us the rundown on which month is which. Enjoy, and remember: babble.

By the end of this four-hour-and-two-minute course in Awards Season knowledge, you will have: a solid foundation in the must-see films of the year and their basic loglines; a battle-ready knowledge of the frontrunners in each of the major awards categories at this year’s Oscars; a can-do attitude and an open heart; a newfound appreciation for Best Supporting Actress Jonathan Bailey. Enjoy part two of our awards conversation with veteran cultural critic Michael Cuby now.

Happy season 2 of Babbling On, dear little Babbles. We hope your year is off to a swimming start, and boy oh boy do we have a delightful New Year’s surprise for you: the one and only cultural phenomenon, editor-at-large for Them and all-around celebrated intellectual Michael Cuby is on the airwaves, talking about our favorite topic of all time, Awards Season. Please enjoy this deep dive into the year in film, and be sure to gag properly.

Which Christmas movie is the best one… it’s time we tried to figure that out, isn’t it? You’ll notice some woefully ignorant omissions here: It’s A Wonderful Life, Meet Me In St. Louis (never seen)… but actually, now that I think about it, we pretty much covered the other important ones. Dig in for a highbrow conversation with veteran film critic Natalie Price to find out our winner.

Today we’re joined by celebrated New York City gallerist Sammy Kapp, co-founder of the Kapp Kapp gallery in Tribeca, for a discussion about two inextricably related spheres of culture: art and pop. No, this isn’t an episode about the Lady Gaga album Artpop (stay tuned) but it is an episode that explores Gagatian circles as well as Gagosian circles. Listen on for more.

Can I just guess that you’re probably in severe debt at the moment? Yesterday was Cyber Monday. The other day was Black Friday. Not that all of us participate in these corporate sacrificial monstrosities, but I did happen to buy a hoodie from Abercrombie and a pan from somewhere and now, more than ever, I need to know: how do you make money? Well-known successful person Merce joins us to explain insider tips and tricks for creating income, both passive and active. Enjoy!

Ever felt trapped when it comes time to baste that turkey? Scared when someone asks you to pass the green bean? Unsure what to do when you need creamy mashed potatoes? Don’t worry, buster, this year we’ve got you covered. Holiday cooking is made simple with Lesbian Food Account at the wheel. Just don’t expect the car not to fly off of a cliff. Let’s make some stuffing and be merry!