I'm having a want to get my cuddles and fucks but my avoidant wants to run. I feel dumb how hard this is for me, 'hard'. Hard- wanting to cuddle cock! 2 poems read

I have no psychological reference to going beyond what I have done up to this point. I keep repeating people to heal myself, now is the time but I'm afraid after 'death' what will be of 'me'? My sexual self that I have reawakened to bring me to this point will she no longer 'be'? No words to describe this lonely feeling. What happens after undone.

I talk about a dream I had a year ago and another dream about it almost a year later, no wolf has forced me to look into his eyes while fucking me nor a shark eaten my dolphin pussy. I do read a sexy story! 

Paramotor gliding dream, Rilke poetry reading, lets read poetry aloud to each other while naked. My poems "Submissive" and "Master".

I realized I reacted to feelings of abandonment, discomfort and bad dreams of sharing myself in order to understand sharing is possible. I eventually want to feel joy for my play partner. Unintentional ASMR style reading of Out of Body. Subspace, something so easily attainable with my current Dom. 

Attachment insecurities- avoidant or anxious I am finding is inconsequential; attachment disorder sucks. Healthy autonomy and secure healthy bonding/connections with others-I am currently working on reordering the disorder with conscious awareness. 

There is in fact a storm brewing. I recorded this before "Outside". Attachment disorder and I read a piece of mine...even a little rap which does help with my tics!

Delivered by elevator. My first 'real' reading of a story of mine. Left me breathless and shaking even! Haha!